The Promise (6 page)

“They weren't
my
lies.”

He managed a shrug. “Whatever, it ended suddenly and unexpectedly, and we were both, for different reasons, left with bitterness, plus I imagine a host of other unresolved feelings. I’d like to tell you that I haven’t thought of you over the years, but I’m not sure that’s true. And now, for your own reasons, you have chosen to come back into my life.”

He was making it sound as if she had invaded his life, and she felt compelled to point out, “For a very brief period of time.”

“Okay, brief. But whatever the length of time, I don’t think highly of your reasons for showing up again.”

“Then why are you agreeing?”

“Because two days ago, on that couch over there, I learned you can still make me want you.” He nodded at the color that immediately climbed upward under her skin. “That’s still the same too. We may find other things that are also the same. But one thing I will not have repeated, Sharon, are the lies.”

“I never lied to you, Conall. The baby was yours.”

The expression in his eyes turned frost cold, and his whole demeanor hardened, darkened. “All right. You’ve said it. I heard. Now, you—don’t— have—to—say—it—again. ”

An icy shudder skimmed through her. “You don’t want to spend this time with me.”

“Would you like me to show you how wrong you are? Over there on the couch? Or perhaps in your bedroom?”

She shook her head, hating the helpless way he made her feel.

“I’ve made up my mind, Sharon. You want to use me to make you pregnant, no matter how often I’ve told you that it is impossible. So fine. You can use me as long as I can use you.”

She had an inexplicable urge to run, and she had to remind herself that she was in her own apartment, a place she had always felt safe. Why wasn’t it working now? “I don’t know what you mean,” she said slowly.

“I’m being as up front with you as I know how, Sharon. You’re obviously still in my system. I figure two weeks should just about get you out.”

A look of real distress crossed her face. “No. This won’t work. Not at all.”

His head tilted to an arrogant angle. “Why not? I’m agreeing to what you want.”

“Yes, but you’re making it all too
personal
.” His laugh was brusque. “You mean because I’ve dared to hint that I’m going to enjoy the hell out of the time well be together? Sharon, that’s what it’s all about.”

“But I never intended for us to become involved again. I wanted only to get—”

“Pregnant, I know." He pushed away from the mantel and came to stand by her. “You ruled out artificial insemination. Sorry, but that leaves only one other method that I know of. And there’s no way a man and a woman can get any more personal and involved than by having sex.” He touched a baby-fine curl by her cheek that had escaped from the severity of her otherwise straight hairstyle. “Don’t you remember?”

There was an unbearable pressure in her chest. Breathing was suddenly difficult. She was a fool, she told herself. A stupid, stupid fool. She shouldn’t be panicking like this. It was just that when she had thought of them performing the sex act, it had always been with an emotionally formal distance between them.

Still, she assured herself, everything would be all right. Her goal was to have a baby, and she couldn’t let herself be thrown off track just because he intended to have . . . fun. She could handle it. She had to. Having a child was the most important thing in the world to her. And vindicating herself was the next most important.

“Will you sign the document I had drawn up?” she asked.

“I will have the medical test for sexual disease, but I will not sign anything else.”

She wavered, then remembered—the document had been to ease
his
mind, not hers. She lifted her head and met his gaze. “All right, it’s a deal.” He smiled, and disconcertingly she thought she noticed a slight softening in him.

“Very good," he said, the baby-fine curl drawing another flicking touch from his fingers. “Now, go get dressed. Something a bit more formal than your jeans.”

“What?”

He waved a vague hand. “There’s a charity function. Normally I wouldn’t bother, but it’s a chance for us to catch my cousin Caitlin out of the nursery.”

“What?” she said again, realizing she didn’t only sound stupid, she felt stupid.

“My cousin, Caitlin. She’ll be there, along with her husband, Nico, and we can ask about the availability of one of the family suites at SwanSea.” “Why would we want to do that?”

“Because that’s where we’re going for the next two weeks. By the way, just exactly
when
are we going?” He gave her a grin that from anyone else she would have interpreted as engaging. “I didn’t read your chart.”

“My fertile period should start in approximately five days.”

"Five days. That should give me enough time to get things settled at the office.”

She stared at him, feeling as though a windstorm had caught her up in its force and was hurling her toward an unknown destination.

“Why SwanSea? I mean, why do we need to go out of town?”

“Because if I stay in Boston, my office will feel I’m still accessible. On the other hand, they view SwanSea as sacrosanct and don’t bother me there. Besides, it’s one of my favorite places in the world.”

Maybe it
was
a good idea, she thought. Perhaps she would be better able to relax in a place that to her was totally impersonal, without memories.

“Unless you’d like to stay here and get a head start on the fun and games, I suggest you go change. ”

The urge to take the course of least resistance and do as he said was strong, but the urge to reassert herself was even stronger. “What I would like is to stay here and have you leave. You don’t need me to be with you when you ask your cousin, and I can’t see a reason in the world why I should have to go to this function with you.”

“No?” With a few steps he closed the distance between them.

Automatically she took a step backward.

“That’s the reason,” he said softly. “You get nervous if I even come near you. How do you suppose you’ll react when you’re in bed with me?”

She crossed her arms beneath her breasts. “Ill be fine.”

“Will you?” He reached out and skimmed his fingertips down one silky cheek.

She jerked away.

He slipped his hands into his trouser pockets. "You obviously don’t feel comfortable with me, and knowing that, I sure as hell won’t be comfortable with you. Being in bed with you would be like being in bed with a bundle of thorns. The first time I tried to take you into my arms. I’d get stuck.”

“No—”

“I don’t like to bleed, Sharon.”

And she didn’t either, she thought, which was part of her problem. Aversion didn’t make her shy away from him. Fear did. She was terrified that her own responses would betray her in some way, and give him power to hurt her.

“All I’m suggesting is that we spend a little time together and blunt the sharpest edges.”

“I’m not sure spending one evening together is going to accomplish much.”

“It will be a beginning.”

She sighed. Much as she hated to admit it, he was again right. She had to overcome the tendency to react to him like a frightened virgin. Perhaps a social situation in which they would be together but not alone would help matters.

“All right,” she said, turning and heading for the bedroom. “Make yourself comfortable. It won’t take me long to change.”

As she had climbed her firm’s ladder to the top, she had been required to attend evening functions, so she had an extensive wardrobe of suitable dresses. She chose a gold one made of a wool, silk, and cashmere blend that fell in soft, fluid folds to her feet. It had long sleeves, a high round neck, and a deep cowl back. She donned the dress, then in a minimum amount of time, pulled her hair off her neck and twisted and pinned the long strands into a chignon. After putting on dangling gold and bronze earrings, she applied a light makeup to eyes, cheeks, and mouth, transferred necessities into an evening purse and walked back into the living room.

Conall threw down a magazine he had been reading and stood. His dark-eyed gaze swept over her. “You look lovely,” he said, his voice husky. “Really lovely. Shall we go?”

“Of course you can have one of the suites,” Caitlin said with a toss of her cinnamon-colored hair. “Why are you even asking? You know the fourth floor is always set aside for the family’s exclusive use.”

Conall shrugged. “I thought I should at least notify you.”

Her green-gold eyes sparkled with amusement. “There’s something else going on here, isn’t there? You hardly ever come to these charity functions anymore. Why did you come tonight? Does this have something to do with your date for the evening?”

A reluctant smile tugged at his mouth. “Try not to let your imagination get the better of you, Caitlin. It’s a very unattractive trait.”

“Would you like me to hit you?” she asked sweetly.

“No. Just notify your manager that I’ll be bringing a guest.”

“Who?”

“None of your business.”

“Okay, I’ll accept that. Basically, because as soon as you arrive, I’ll be able to find out who’s with you. By the way, you’ll have the fourth floor all to yourself. Nico and I don’t plan to go up for a while, and your parents just came back. Mother and Quinn have become quite the homebodies since their marriage and their move to their new place in the country. Uncle Seldon and his advisers held a political powwow up there a few weeks ago, but now he’s back out on the road.” She grinned. “I must say, I’m delighted you’ll be staying so long. I can’t remember the last time you’ve taken more than a three-day weekend.”

“Then I guess it was about time.” His smile grew until it was full blown. “So how is Wonder Baby?"

Caitlin laughed. “Dev is totally brilliant. We’re thinking of enrolling him in Harvard soon. And by the way, his nursery is beginning to resemble a toy store. Every day new packages arrive from his uncle Conall.”

“I want him to have a choice of things to do. Some variety. Poor kid, I’m sure he’s bored. I mean, all he does day in and day out is sleep, eat, and look at you and Nlco make fools of yourselves over him.”

“Very funny. Now tell me about Sharon.” Conall threw a glance over his shoulder. Across the table, Nico and Sharon were engaged in conversation. As he watched, she smiled at Nico. The smile was a trifle shy, but unlike the stilted, hard-edged smiles she had been giving him, it was genuine. Unsettled, he turned back to Caitlin. “Do you like her?”

Caitlin checked the emerald-studded watch on her wrist. “You only introduced us an hour ago, but from what I can tell, she seems very nice. The question is, do you like her? And will she be going with you to SwanSea?”

He shifted restlessly. "So Dev’s going to be a Harvard man? Don’t you think you should at least wait until he’s potty trained?”

Caitlin sat forward. "How
really
interesting. You’re evading the subject.”

“Just shut up and play along.”

Caitlin’s laughter pealed out, bright and happy. “All right, all right. Well, let’s see. The other day, Dev distinctly said
mama."

Conall looked properly amazed. “No!”

She nodded. “It’s true. Nico is sure he said
dada,
but I know for a fact he said
mama."

Sharon surreptitiously gazed at the cousins, one so beautiful, the other so handsome. They sat close together, talking animatedly yet low, making it impossible for her to hear their conversation. But it was fascinating to watch them together. The two Deverell cousins were marked with the same qualities of ease, assurance, and a sense of belonging. She couldn’t imagine they had ever had a doubt in their life. She envied them.

“The Deverells have a unique quality all their own, don’t they?” Nico asked, obviously noticing where her attention was directed. “It’s as if the substance of their bone marrow is different from the normal person’s. They have an unspoken, unquestioning belief in themselves and the manageability of the world around them.”

Her baby would be one of those self-assured Deverells.
The thought hit Sharon with a jolt. Funny she hadn’t viewed it that way before. But there was nothing she wanted more than to instill in her child a certainty and faith in himself and his own powers, and if his being a Deverell would make her job any easier, so be it.

She turned to Nico, a man who had an abun-. dance of the same traits. “I understand you’re also a Deverell.”

“I can’t deny it,” he said with a smile, “But my sister and I were raised DiFrenzas, and that's how we think of ourselves.”

Her gaze darted to the dance floor, where his sister, Angelica, with her long dark hair streaming down her back, gracefully glided to the music with her date. “Your sister is extremely beautiful.”

“Thank you. I think so.”

Her gaze continued over the dance floor to the tall, sandy-haired man named Amarillo Smith. He and his date, a sophisticated-looking blonde, also had places at their table. At the moment the blonde was doing her best to enchant him, with her body pressed closely to his, her head thrown back, her eyes gazing up into his, her lips parted.

Somehow Sharon didn’t think her tactics were working.

“Would you like to dance?” Conall asked. Startled, she looked up at him. She hadn’t seen him leave Caitlin and walk around the table. 

“I..."

He grasped her elbow and helped her to her feet. “Nico, you don’t mind if I steal her from you, do you?”

Nico grinned. “Actually, I do. If you take her away, I’ll be forced to ask my wife to dance.” Much to Sharon’s surprise, Caitlin, society’s princess, picked up a bread roll and threw it at her husband. “You’ll pay for that, Nico DiFrenza.” "I can’t wait,” he murmured, a glitter in his dark eyes.

“Conall,
how nice to see you!”

Sharon felt Conall start. She turned to see an older couple, their faces wreathed with smiles. She immediately recognized them as Conall’s parents and went ice cold.

“We didn’t know you would be here,” his mother said, an elegant woman with silver hair and an array of large, perfect diamonds sparkling at her neck, her ears, and on her fingers. “Why didn’t you call? We could have made arrangements to have you at our table.”