The Promise (15 page)

Thank you
.

***

Sophie

I can’t believe he’
s actually going to talk to me. I’m nervous about the conversation but so happy he’s willing to listen to what I have to say. I’ve decided after talking to Ana that I’ll just tell him what I can and go from there.

If he
’s still interested in seeing me, great, but if not, then at least I haven’t bared my soul just to have it crushed.

I tell Ana he’s on his way over, but she doesn’t seem
nearly as shocked as I am.

She call
s Drake and asks him to meet her for lunch. She claims it’s so she could give us privacy but I know she also wanted an excuse to call him. When I hear her cussing into the phone, I’m a little stunned. She’s obviously nuts about him so hearing her speak to him in such a harsh way surprises me.

“Yo
u lying fucker! How dare you!” she pauses to listen to whatever it is he has to say. “I don’t give a shit! You promised you wouldn’t!” She pauses again. “Well? What did you say? Yeah…yeah…Okay well that’s not so bad. I’m sorry I yelled at you but don’t you
ever
fucking lie to me again, Drake. I mean it!” Sheesh, I’d hate to be him right now. “Alright, see you in ten minutes.” This time, I can I hear the smile in her voice. “I love you, too.”

T
hat’s new
. 

As my eyes me
et with hers as she makes her way around the corner to where I’m sitting on the couch, she smiles nervously. “Hey, did you happen to hear any of that?”

“Ana, I think the whole
damn complex heard that,” I laugh weakly. “You okay?” she nods back, pausing briefly before speaking again.

“So listen,” she start
s nervously before blurting everything else out in a rush. “I guess Drake went to talk to Chase. He was trying to get him to stop being an ass and answer your calls. Apparently Chase told him what happened this morning. So when Chase said Jack’s name, I guess Drake did the dumb guy thing and made a face which ultimately made Chase ask about it. He tried to tell him that I’d asked him to keep quiet about it but then Chase pulled the family card on Drake. Even though I made him swear not to say anything, he told Chase about you waking up the other morning when he was here. He doesn’t know anything about Jack, just that you woke up crying for him. I haven’t even told Drake about Jack yet so there’s no way Chase knows anything else and I’m so, so sorry, Soph. I cussed him out and called him a fucker.” The look on her face is hilarious and I can’t stifle my laughter. “You’re not mad at me?” Disbelief washes over her features.

“Well, I wish you hadn’t said anything but there’s not really anything I can do about it now. Just please don’t say anything else until I c
an talk to Chase, okay?”

“I won’t, I promise,” she answers
while drawing an ‘X’ over her heart with her finger.

As
if on cue, I hear Chase’s knock on the door.

Ana reache
s over and hugs me. “Everything is going to be fine,” she whispers into my hair before pulling away to face me. “Call me if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay,” I say, blowing out a nervous breath and watch her as she goes to
answer the door.

I draw
another deep breath and let it out slowly. This is going to suck but it has to be done. Chase deserves my honesty and even though I can’t give him everything yet, I know I have to give him something. I like him too much to let him slip through my fingers.

“Be nice to her or I’m kicking
your ass, Chase.” Ana whispers at him harshly, no doubt trying to keep me from hearing but failing miserably. “You and Drake are both on my shit list, you got that? I’m not fucking around today!”

“Okay, okay I got it. He’s downstairs by the way,” he
says to her as she begins to shut the door.

“Soph, I’m leaving, call me if
you need me. Love you!” she calls out.

“L
ove you,” I call back.

The door
firmly closes and seconds later, I hear the voice I’ve been waiting for all day.

I looked over and saw Chase standing awkwardly in the doorway of the living room. “Hey
… so, I’m here.”

“Thanks,
” I whisper while meeting his wary gaze. “Please come and sit with me.”

Hesitating only for a moment, Chase ma
kes his way to the opposite end of the couch and takes a seat.

I can tell he’
s nervous. My heart’s pounding out of my chest, but he showed up and that’s a start.

Sophie

As I watch him take a seat, Chase doesn’t seem angry, he seems hurt and confused. I understand that more than I can even explain.

“Thanks for coming over,” I start
nervously. He meets my gaze with a nod but doesn’t say anything. “Do you want a drink or anything?”

“No thanks,” he says
quietly, shaking his head.

“Okay. I know I owe you an explanation Chase
,” I say and he shakes his head immediately at my words.

“Sophie, you d
on’t owe me anything,” I start to disagree but he stops me as he leans back against the sofa with a long sigh.

I hate that he’s so far away from me right now.

“Look, we never discussed a relationship so
I can’t really be pissed at you,” he starts. “I just want you to be honest and upfront with me. I don’t feel like that’s asking too much, Sophie.”

“You’re right it’s not too much to ask, Chase. I promise I will never lie to you about anything, okay?” he nod
s which gives me my cue to continue, “but I need you to try and understand that there are just a few things that I’m not ready to talk about yet. I promise you that when I am ready, I’ll tell you everything if you still want to hear it. Just please be patient with me and know that I’ll do the best I can. If it’s too much for you then I’ll understand. I just hope that you’ll hear me out.”

He lean
s forward placing his elbows onto his knees as his gaze meets mine, “Deal.” 

“Okay.” Another deep breath. “You asked me about Jack earlier,” he nod
s and so I continue. “Jack and I met when we were seniors in high school and we fell in love pretty quickly. We were together for about four and a half years, so things were very serious between us. He is the only man I’ve ever been in love with. Things ended almost a year ago very unexpectedly and it broke my heart. It completely destroyed me,” I swallow hard. “I still have feelings for him, yes, but we’re not getting back together.”

“How can you know that, Sophie?”

“I’m not ready to talk about the end of our relationship, but please trust me when I tell you that Jack and I getting back together is not something you need to be worried about.”

“You won’t tell me what happened to cause the t
wo of you to break up?” he asks.

“No, Chase, I’m sorry.
I can’t tell you that right now,” I shake my head as I answer.  

“Okay,” he says
releasing a breath and pinching the bridge of his nose before meeting my eyes again. I can tell he’s frustrated but he’s trying. “Do you think you’ll ever be comfortable telling me any of this?”

“I want to
be, Chase. I really do but I’m just not ready.”

“Drake told me you woke up screaming for him. Will you tell me about that?”

“I don’t really understand it, to be honest. I think talking about it will be uncomfortable for you but if you really want me to, I will try to tell you what I’m comfortable with,” he nods at my words. “I have nightmares about horrible things that usually include him and they’re extremely vivid. I had night terrors as a kid, but these are different,” I pause because I know the next part will be awkward. “So when I wake up from these, I’m usually reliving a traumatic memory or another horrible scenario is taking its place, except …” I begin to trail off.

“Except what
, Sophie?”

“I didn’t have a
nightmare last night,” Chase doesn’t understand how huge this actually is. “That’s the first time in nearly a year that I’ve slept through the night and didn’t wake up like that. I think that it was because of you,” I say meeting his eyes. “I know this is a lot to take in right now but I need you to know that I do care for you. I care for you a lot.”

“I care for you too,” he sa
ys, holding my gaze before releasing a breath and sitting up to face me more directly. “So where does that leave us, Sophie?”

“I guess that’s up to you,” I sa
y quietly. “I meant what I said. I can’t deny my feelings for you but if I’m being honest, Chase, you scare the hell out of me.”

“Why do I scare you
, Sophie?”

“
My heart is still so fragile, Chase. I can’t get hurt again.” Tears are starting to brim my eyes. I don’t want to cry but I owe myself the same honesty that I promised him. “I’ve kept my distance from you because I know what you’re capable of,” I start. The stunned look in his eyes speaks volumes.
He really has no idea the effect he’s having on me. “
You scare me because
I knew the night I met you that you have the power to completely and totally destroy me.”

He
moves to sit beside me and pulls me in closer to him, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. “Sophie, I’ll never do anything to hurt you.” I look up at him and he wipes the tears from my eyes.

Neither would Jack
,
I think to myself but keep the thought locked away. He brings me to his chest and I rest comfortably into the crook of his neck as I inhale his unique, masculine scent. After a few minutes, it’s me who finally breaks the silence.

“Is it too much?” I whisper nervously into his chest.

He takes a minute to think about what I’ve just asked to consider everything before he looks down at me. “Before I answer that, can I ask you something?” I nod my reply. “Do you think that in time you’ll get over him?”

This is the same
question I’ve been asking myself for nearly a year. Although I don’t know the definitive answer, I know how I feel about Chase and I know I want to be happy. I can’t keep on going the way I have been, I know that. I have to try and if I’m going to take a leap, the man holding me safely in his arms right now is the only one worth the risk.

“I want to try Chase
,” I admit, slowly pulling away to fully face him, “but if all of this is too much for you to deal with, I want you to know that I’ll understand,” I say. He studies me for a few minutes before he finally answers quietly.

“I’m not gonna lie, Sophie, it’s a
lot to take in,” he whispers honestly, never taking his eyes from mine. Taking a deep breath, I brace myself for what was coming. I nod before looking down at my hands resting in my lap before I break the silence. I knew this scenario was a possibility when he agreed to see me, but I didn’t expect for it to hurt so much.

“I understand
,” I say with resolve.

“I wasn’t done Sophie
,” he says causing me to meet his eyes.

“It’s a lot and honestly, if
you were anyone else …” He looks down at where his hands had joined mine in my lap before meeting my eyes with a small smile. “Let’s just say I wouldn’t still be sitting here,” he admits.

“Why am I the exception?” I ask
confused as a small smile spread across his face and he shrugs slightly.

“I don’t know Sophie,
” he says. “There’s just something about you.” He begins to shake his head slightly as he raises his hand up and gently secures a stray strand of my hair behind my ear. I automatically gravitate towards his touch. “So yeah, it’s a lot, but it’s not too much if it means I get you,” he said quietly and planted a kiss on my forehead. “Thank you for being honest with me, Baby.”

I smile
up at him and lean in close, wrapping my arms back around him. I’m still scared, terrified actually, but I can’t deny the happiness I felt knowing that Chase is still willing to give us a chance. “Thank you,” I whisper.

***

It’s been a month since Chase and I have talked, and in that time, things have been going really well.

I’d gotten the job at the café and had started working
in the mornings. I thought it would be hard because I wouldn’t see Ana as much but it actually ended up working out kind of perfect.

The restaurant i
s only open for breakfast and lunch so I have hours that are similar to Chase’s and I still get off early enough to hang out with Ana at the bar after work before she gets too busy.

I
’m off most weekends and am making decent money so I can’t complain. Lots of mornings, Chase comes in for breakfast on his way to meet Drake who is all but living with us. It was a little weird at first but Ana’s happy and he’s always nice so I don’t mind so much.

Since our talk, Chase and I ha
ve spent almost every spare minute of our spare time together. He’s even stayed over a couple of times but nothing sexual has happened between us yet.

Chase ha
s stayed true to his word about taking things slow and being patient with me which is making things a lot easier for me. Every time that he has stayed over, I’ve managed to sleep soundly which is unexplainable but amazing nonetheless.

This weekend, Ana is
staying with Drake at his place in Corpus Christi and they’re leaving tonight after her shift at the bar ends.

I had
originally planned on sleeping in the apartment alone but Chase said he didn’t like the idea of me being there by myself. When he asked me if he could stay with me this weekend, I agreed immediately.

It
’s a big step for our relationship, but one I know I’m ready to take. I have a feeling we’ll be taking another big step over the weekend, too, if everything goes as well as it has been.

If I’m being honest with myself,
I’m more nervous about this step. I haven’t been with anyone besides Jack.
Ever
.  Physically, I think I’ve been ready for weeks, but emotionally, this will be huge for me if I go through with it.

I have
n’t talked to Chase about anything I’ve been thinking about because I don’t want to put any added pressure on our weekend, but I think I might be ready to try. After the intensity of our last few make out sessions, I have my doubts that Chase will object to it.

My feelings for Chase a
re undeniable and even though I still love Jack and I always will, I have definitely opened up more to Chase than I thought possible. He still doesn’t know about Jack’s death, but the other night before karaoke at the bar, he’d walked into my room while I was finishing up and heard me singing along to the radio. He startled me again, but not nearly as badly as that first night. I jumped and grabbed my chest when I saw him standing behind me in the mirror and immediately turned the radio down.

“Sorry, I di
dn’t mean to scare you,” he’d said quietly as he walked up behind me. He put his chin on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind.

“It’s okay, I’m almost ready. How long were you back there?” I asked him nervously.

“Long enough to hear that beautiful voice of yours since I know that’s what you’re really asking,” he smiled a little at me in the reflection and I blushed. “So since I already heard you, will you sing something at the bar tonight?” I met his eyes in the reflection in front of us and just shook my head at him. “Why? You have a lovely voice Sophie.” I didn’t answer him, only held his gaze with an apologetic look in my eyes. He smiled to himself before he began to speak again. “You know, Babe, this isn’t the first time I’ve heard you sing,” he admitted.

What the hell i
s he talking about? I quickly tried to go back over all the times we’d been together that he could’ve heard me but came up with nothing other than a few words here and there that had slipped. These times didn’t count in my opinion. When my gaze returned to his in the mirror, he held a triumphant smirk. He was bluffing.

“When have you heard me sing?
Really
sing?” I asked, my eyes bugging out of my head before I remembered myself and so instantly slipped a calmed look over my features. I shook my head, folded my arms over my chest and planted a smirk on my face to match his. “I don’t believe you. You’re lying.”

“You know, that cocky little grin of yours is so adorable, I’m almost sorry that I won’t be seeing it
for much longer,” he said jokingly as he burrowed his face into my neck and began kissing me affectionately before I playfully smacked him away with a laugh. “No, I’m not lying. I heard you sing the first day you came to Rockport,” he explained looking down at me in the mirror, “before we ‘officially’ met.” My eyes narrowed once more and he chuckled. “You were in your truck singing your pretty little heart out with the radio and I pulled up next to you at the light on Madison,” I never took my eyes from his in the reflection of the mirror. “I remember thinking I’d never heard anything more beautiful than the voice coming out of that truck,” he said softly as I turned to face him and he softly brushed his knuckles against my cheek, pushing the stray hair back behind my shoulder before bending down to whisper into my ear, which caused a shiver to run through me as my breath caught loud enough that I was sure he’d heard it. “I love Alicia Keys,” he whispered huskily and instantly, I felt the color drain from my face and gather all into my cheeks as I realized that he was being truthful.

Alicia Keys i
s one of my favorite singers and I gladly sing at the top of my lungs anytime she is on the radio when I am
alone
. There was no way he would have known that if he hadn’t heard me.