The Promise of Home (Love Inspired) (17 page)

“Do you have to go already?” Tori’s wide blue eyes stared up at him beseechingly and to Dev’s astonishment, she lifted her arms.

Without thinking, Dev scooped up the little girl. Her chubby arms looped around his neck. “We missed you, didn’t we, Aunt Jenna?”

Jenna made a sound that could have been interpreted any number of different ways.

“Are you going to stay for supper, too?”

“No, I have some unpacking to do.” Dev shifted Tori onto his hip and reached into his shirt pocket. “But I found something I thought you might like.”

“For me? What is it?”

“It’s a hawk feather. I found it in an abandoned nest.”

“It’s pretty.” Tori brushed the tip against her cheek. “Did you bring somethin’ for Logan, too?”

“Tori!” Logan scraped the ground with the toe of his shoe. “You aren’t supposed to ask.”

“Then how are you s’posed to
know?
”

Even Caitlin smiled at the five-year-old’s logic.

“Of course I did.” Dev fished around inside his pocket again.

“An arrowhead!” Logan’s eyes got wide as he ran his thumb along the notches in the smooth stone. “I’m going to show Jeremy.”

“It was thoughtful of you to bring them something,” Jenna said stiffly.

“No problem.” Dev had brought Jenna something, too, but there was no way he was going to give it to her with Caitlin Walsh looking on.

“Can I play with Violet later?” Logan wanted to know.

Dev felt as if there were a heavy weight on his chest, pushing the air from his lungs. “That’s up to your aunt.”

But if Caitlin Walsh had anything to say about it, Jenna would probably never want to speak to him again.

Chapter Eighteen

J
enna collapsed into a chair on the porch and stared at the water with unseeing eyes.

She tried to reconcile the man she knew with the one that Caitlin had described. She couldn’t. Something had changed him.

Before she’d left, Caitlin had asked if Jenna minded if she prayed with her. Jenna had blinked back tears while her friend thanked God for his many blessings. For the special people he brought into their lives. After the “amen,” Caitlin had looked her right in the eye and told her that she thought Dev was one of them.

“The man I knew wouldn’t have befriended a couple of neighbor kids and brought them a gift. And jeans and hiking boots?”
Caitlin had pretended to shudder.
“He wouldn’t have been caught dead in anything other than Armani.”

Caitlin’s attempt at humor had drawn a faint smile. But there was still one thing Jenna couldn’t get past.

She’d asked Caitlin if she remembered Dev’s brother’s name.

It was Jason.

In her mind’s eye, Jenna could see the expression on Dev’s face when Logan had asked about the name etched on the telescope. Not guilt, but grief.

“Jenna?”

Jenna raised her head, wondering if she’d imagined Dev’s voice. But there he was. Standing at the edge of the shadows.

She rose slowly to her feet.

“I’m here for my interview.”

“Now?”

“I told you that I’d get back to you in a few days.”

And he was a man who kept his promises.

“Dev.” Jenna wasn’t sure she was up to this. “You don’t have to—”

“Yes, I do.”

Jenna stared at her, trying to see the man that Caitlin had described. Self-centered. Arrogant. Ambitious.

She didn’t know that person—but she knew this one.

“All right. We can sit on the porch. Logan and Tori are already asleep.” Jenna wiped her damp palms down the front of her jeans. “Just give me a minute.”

When Jenna returned, Dev was sitting on the swing, arms folded behind his head. How could he be so calm? Jenna’s hands were trembling so hard she didn’t trust them. She turned on a recording device and set it on the table between them.

“You first,” Dev said.

“But…I thought you were going to come up with the questions.”

“I changed my mind.”

The man who’d done everything in his power to avoid the public eye was giving her control of the interview.

Why?

That was the first question Jenna wanted to ask. But she chose a standard one instead. A
safe
one.

“What made you choose a career as a wildlife photographer?”

“I didn’t really choose it, it chose me.” Dev shrugged. “A way to pass the time when I moved to Mirror Lake.”

“And why did you move here?”

The porch swing creaked as Dev shifted. “I told you that my grandfather bought the cabin as an investment when I was about Logan’s age. The original plan was to fix the place up and sell it—but then he surprised everyone and kept it. Every summer, my brother Jason and I would spend a few weeks here, fishing and swimming and finding crawly things under the rocks.”

Jenna thought of Logan.

“When I was in junior high, my dad decided that my time would be better spent doing other things, and I agreed with him. Jason kept coming back, though. Nature fascinated him. He would take our grandpa’s old Polaroid and shoot up rolls of film. I started to work on the ground floor of the family business. Literally.”

“McGuire Construction.” Jenna had seen the ads on television, the billboards, but if it hadn’t been for Caitlin, she’d have never connected Dev to one of the most successful businesses in the Twin Cities.

“Dad took it for granted that both of us would eventually work for him, but he cut Jason some slack because he was the youngest. He liked to brag to his friends that it would take two of us to replace him when he retired.” Dev drove a hand through his hair. “But Jason decided he wanted to do something else with his life. Said that God had another plan for him.”

“Your dad didn’t approve,” Jenna guessed.

“Neither of us did. I gave him a hard time about it. About everything. His decisions. His future. His faith. I’m surprised Jason didn’t stop talking to me.” A wry smile tipped the corner of Dev’s lips. “There were times I wish he
had.
His favorite topic was his faith. Jason had always approached life from a different angle. Every day was an adventure.”

“Like Logan,” Jenna murmured. Now she understood why a man determined to keep himself apart from others had made room in his life for a lonely little boy.

“I thought Jason was crazy to give up everything but he would tell me that what he’d given up didn’t compare to what he’d gained. We tend to avoid what we don’t understand so I suppose it was inevitable that we drifted apart.” Dev laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Jason went to work for a nonprofit ministry that built houses for underprivileged families while I turned neighborhoods into golf courses and condominiums.

“One day, out of the blue, he called and said he’d reserved a campsite in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. He reminded me that I’d promised to do the whole outdoor wilderness adventure thing with him some day and that if we didn’t do it now, before—”

Dev paused and Jenna almost wished she hadn’t known why. The interview was excavating enough painful memories.

She drew in a breath and released it.

“The wedding.”

* * *

The quiet statement told Dev that Caitlin had provided the details about his life and then some. Looking at Jenna now, Dev couldn’t believe he’d actually compared her to Elaina when they first met. The two women were nothing alike.

Elaina wouldn’t have been caught in the middle of a squirt gun fight or spent an afternoon combing the beach for crayfish. She and Jenna might have chosen the same designer for their wardrobe, but Elaina’s beauty had been skin-deep. She’d lacked Jenna’s warmth. Her sense of humor.

Although the thought had never crossed Dev’s mind at the time, he’d often wondered if Elaina had loved the idea of being Mrs. Dev McGuire more than she’d loved
him.

Jason had never come right out and said anything, but Dev sensed his brother didn’t approve of Elaina. It had been another source of tension between them.

His parents, on the other hand, had welcomed Elaina with open arms. In fact, Dev suspected his mother had orchestrated their first meeting at a charity fundraiser. Naturally, they’d blamed him when Elaina broke their engagement.

“Did you know Elaina?”

“No, but Caitlin mentioned she was a former client.”

Dev wasn’t surprised but he didn’t want to talk about Elaina anymore. “I agreed to go on the camping trip with Jason on one condition. That he wouldn’t talk about God while we were there.”

He could still picture Jason’s wide grin.

Whatever you say, big brother, but he’s right there with us, Dev. Whether I talk about him or not.

“On Saturday, Dad called and said that I needed to come back. Some software bigwig had flown in for the weekend and wanted our opinion on a new complex he was thinking about building in the area.

“Dad was a little upset that the guy insisted on talking to me instead of him.” But Dev had been flattered. At the time, he remembered thinking that it could finally be the thing that tipped the balance of power in his favor. Prove beyond a doubt that Brent McGuire could hand the reins of the business over to his oldest son with no regrets.

“Jason and I argued. He tried to talk me into postponing the meeting for another day.” Dev paused, unprepared for the grief that still had the power to strip the breath from his lungs.

“But you didn’t,” Jenna said softly.

“No.” Only hundreds of times since, when Dev had tortured himself by reliving the moment he’d thrown his duffle bag in the trunk of the car and left his brother standing at the campsite alone. But not that day.

“While I was meeting with our potential client, my brother hiked up the Porcupine Mountains by himself. I’m not sure why he didn’t stay on the marked path—something must have caught his attention. But the ledge gave way and he…he fell.” Dev hadn’t been there, and yet he could see the ground crumble and break away. And Jason…

Jenna’s slender fingers gripped his, giving Dev the strength to continue. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

Dev stared down at the tape recorder between them, forced himself to tell her the rest of the story. “Two campers found Jason the next day and flagged down a warden. But it was too late.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” Jenna’s hand tightened. “You couldn’t have known what would happen.”

“But things would have been different if I’d been there.”

“You can’t be sure of that, either.”

If only Jenna were right.

“Jason didn’t die right away. He was injured and went into shock. It wasn’t the fall that killed him—it was the fact that there was no one there when it happened. I wasn’t there.”

For the first time, Dev said the words out loud that had haunted him for the last five years.

Tears were streaming down Jenna’s face. For a moment, they sat in complete silence, hands linked together.

“I thought Jason was wasting his time, building houses for people who couldn’t afford to pay for them. I was always looking for the next big deal. More toys. A flashier car. I didn’t understand his faith, so I mocked it. I even teased him about his obsession with the outdoors. Jason loved being out in nature. He claimed God’s handiwork was everywhere and it helped him get to know him better.”

“Is that why you came to Mirror Lake after he died?”

“My parents thought I’d gone off the deep end. Elaina said if I walked away from the company, she would have to break our engagement. Said I didn’t have anything to offer.”

“She was wrong.”

Jenna said the words so quietly that Dev thought he might have imagined them. “I wasn’t planning to make it permanent. I just wanted to understand my brother…and to find God so I could yell at him. I think that secretly I was hoping a lightning bolt would strike me. I wanted God to punish me for not loving my brother more than I loved the idea of being president of McGuire Construction.”

“I’m sure Jason knew that you loved him.”

Dev wanted to believe Jenna was right. He’d clung to that thought more than once as the years slipped by. “When I got to the cabin, I found two things that Jason had left at the cabin—a telescope and his Bible. It was almost like he knew exactly what I needed to find my way.

“A few weeks turned into months. I sent a few photos to one of Jason’s friends as a gift, not knowing she worked at a gallery. Talia tracked me down and asked for more.” Dev shrugged. “It’s a way to pay the electric bill and keep Violet in rawhide chews.”

Jenna wasn’t fooled. “You love it.”

Dev didn’t answer.

“You don’t have to feel guilty about that, you know,” Jenna said. “To love what you’re doing. Where you are. Jason would have wanted that. I’m sure he…he
prayed
for that.”

Dev was stunned by her perception.

“It doesn’t feel…right.” He had come to Mirror Lake bitter and angry. At God—and at himself. Happiness, contentment. Dev had felt as if he were being given gifts he didn’t deserve.

“Because you were supposed to be miserable here.”

“Yes,” Dev said promptly.

“Do you think you’ll ever…go back?”

“No.” Dev didn’t hesitate. “There’s nothing there for me anymore. It sounds lame, but I know this is where I’m supposed to be. It’s where I
want
to be.”

The words vibrated between them.

“So. That’s my story.”

Now it was up to Jenna to decide what to do with it. If the whole thing ended up on the front page of
Twin City Trends,
so be it.

“How much of this is off-the-record?”

The question cut deep. But Jenna
was
a professional.

“You can use whatever you want,” he said quietly. “Jason told me that God can make something good out of our worst mistakes. Maybe someone will realize that no matter what they’ve done, where they’ve been, God hasn’t turned his back on them, either.”

Jenna looked up and Dev saw tears shimmering in her eyes.

“Someone already did.”