Now Owyn grabbed Keifer's sleeve and looked directly into his eyes. “Aye. And I meant it. I still mean it.” He let go of the sleeve. “I tell ye, I thought ye knew the truth of it. Ye must believe me.”
Again Keifer looked to the west, not sure what to believe anymore, only knowing he had no choice but to trust Owyn. “I must go, Owyn. As you love me, find my mother and warn her that your da is nearby and he intends evil. I will see you tomorrow at the ceremony.”
Owyn's expression was grim with what Keifer hoped was determination to serve him. “Aye, my laird. God go with ye.”
Keifer spurred his horse to the abbey, toward a night meant for prayer and meditation. How could he open his heart to God when all he could think of was avenging his father's death? Aye, he would kill the man who had robbed him of his father!
NOLA SAT AT DINNER THAT SAME EVENING with her parents on one side and Will on the other. Will, solicitous to a fault, cut the meat on their shared trencher and presented her with the best morsels. His attention was that of a man intent on wooing his companion.
But Nola remembered Keifer in the bailey this afternoon. She remembered, too, the childish promise she had made.
I can't promise my heart, nor will I ask you to. But could we at least promise not to marry anyone else until we've spoken to each other again?
The boy she'd made that promise to was gone, and his lack of warmth this afternoon still stung. Why had he behaved that way? Should she just accept Will's suit and forget her childish vow?
She reached for the wine goblet but Will got to it first. He lifted it to her lips but she pulled it from his hand, sloshing the wine onto the table covering in her haste.
“What's the matter with you tonight, Nola? You've acted peevish all through the meal.”
They were friends and had often shared confidences over the years. But this . . . this distance from Keifer she could not share with anyone. Certainly not with Will. Why couldn't he just give her the time she had asked for to make her decision?
But despite her pique at his persistence, she just couldn't be mean. For once she wished she could. “I'm sorry, Will. Too much excitement.”
“I know. I'm excited about our betrothal, too.”
Nola took a deep breath and prayed for patience. “No, Will, you mistake me. 'Tis the excitement of our travel that has me on edge.”
Lips pursed, Will asked, “Have you forgotten your father's request?”
How could she forget that Adam had asked her to give Will an answer by the time they returned home from this trip? “I have not.” She remembered it well. And she truly did care for Will, despite his faults. She herself was far from perfect . . . Marriage to him would be good except for one thing. He wasn't Keifer. Yet after her encounter with Keifer today, she wasn't sure how she felt about either man. Certainly she was in no mind to make such an important decision.
“I don't mean to press you, love. But I would like to be able to announce our betrothal.”
Nola rubbed her temples. “And what if I say no, Will? What then?”
“You will disappoint both our families.”
“And you? Will I disappoint you?”
“What a foolish question, Nola. You know I care for you.”
Aye, she did know that. And she also knew how much Will coveted the land she would bring to their marriage. No, that thought was unfair. Will cared for her and he would make a fine husband. But . . .
“Give me more time, Will. You promised not to press me. I wish you would keep that vow.”
His expression revealed his impatience, but all he said was, “As you wish.”
She made her excuses to Will and her parents and left the hall. As she walked to her chamber, she tried to think of some way she could persuade her parents to let her stay here when they returned to Moy.
Then perhaps she would have time to know Keifer again.
And if their childhood friendship could not bloom into something more, she would accept it and marry Will. Somehow she knew that despite repeated prayers, she would receive no clear vision of God's will in this matter. She simply needed to trust that His will would be re-vealed in time. Perhaps she wasn't meant to marry at all, like Keifer.
But if she and Keifer didn't marry each other, how would she ever recover from the loss of her best friend?
KEIFER AND THE FIVE OTHER YOUNG MEN who would be knighted along with him spent the evening at the abbey. One by one they were called to speak privately with the priest and confess their sins.
If Keifer told everything, he'd still be in there at dawn. Especially after what Owyn had told him.
Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord.
But the need to avenge his father's death burned in Keifer's heart.
And if that wasn't enough on his mind, there were his confusing feelings about Nola and his vow not to marry. Suddenly Keifer wasn't sure about anything in his life.
After confession Keifer went into the bathing chamber to prepare for the ritual bath. He disrobed and set his clothes aside for Owyn to gather later. Now the only thing he wore was the frayed braid upon his wrist that he had worn ever since the day Nola tied it fast.
Nola.
She had turned her back on him this afternoon, had broken their vow. Sadly he cut the bracelet and laid it aside, just as he would lay aside his former life tomorrow.
Keifer entered the water and cleansed himself, refreshing his body if not his spirit. Then he donned a white robe and went into the nave of the church to pray before the altar.
He bowed his head. He should be praying for the strength and honor to be a good and faithful knight, but all through his vigil, those prayers were interspersed with ones about Nola. And fervent requests to help him deal with his growing hatred of Angus Macnab. It just didn't seem right to ask God to help him kill his uncle.
Dear Father in Heaven, I don't know if you mean for me to marry. If that is your will, help me to know, and to know if Nola is the woman you would choose for me. I have no idea how to conquer my hatred of Uncle Angus without your help. Guide me in this; show me your will, I beg of you.
By morning he was no closer to knowing God's will, nor did he feel entirely confident that God would guide him. He considered refusing to take his knightly vows, but how would he explain himself? That his heart wasn't free of entanglements? Whose heart was?
In the end he prayed that God would not desert him. He stood with the others when Sir Bryan came to fetch them for the ceremony. Keifer's knees hurt from kneeling and his stomach rumbled from hunger. But those discomforts paled beside the angry knot in his gutâa knot of hatred that the hours of prayer had not softened.
God forgive me.
ST. MARY'S ABBEY stood in the forested hills east of the village of Homelea, which took its name from the nearby castle. Eveleen glanced about the nave of the church as she and the other guests, mostly families of the six young men being honored today, waited for the ceremony to begin.
Light filtered in through fourteen round, stained-glass windows, each depicting a scene from the Crucifixion. On this day when her son would be recognized for his efforts, Eveleen was drawn to the window with Jesus and his mother. Like Mary, Eveleen knew the sorrow of losing a child. And a husband, for Joseph wasn't mentioned as being with Mary when their son died.
Eveleen shook off those sad thoughts and watched as Keifer and five other white-robed young men entered the abbey. Standing tall and proud, Keifer led them up the aisle to stand before the altar. If only Ian could have lived to see their son this day.
And in the same thought came Angus. The two brothers who had both courted her those many years ago. Short-tempered Angus, ambitious enough for both men. And Ian, content with his lot in life and trusting that God would provide. Eveleen feared her son took more after his uncle than his father. Which might be good for the clan, but at what price to Keifer?
She'd never regretted her choice of Ian for her husband. Except for one thing. That choice, and Angus's anger over her rejection, had eventually cost Ian his life. Owyn's warning yesterday evening had surprised her. She hadn't wanted to trust him. His words caused her to lie awake most of last night, not in fear for herself but for her son. Angus would strike back at her through Ian's son, of that she was sure. Eveleen feared that Angus's reprisal, when it came, would be silent and unobservable, something no army could detect.
Keifer's training as a knight was meant to give him the means to protect himself and his loved ones. As a knight sponsored by the king, Keifer would enjoy the loyalty and protection of the crown and the men loyal to it. Men Keifer could call upon if need arose.
One of those men stood beside her, Dougal of Brodie. Though his clan and holdings were small, he had pledged his honor and his men to Keifer's defense. Eveleen had not looked for love or marriage, but had found both in Dougal. She glanced up at him to find him staring at her. She smiled despite her anxiety, and he returned the smile before they both looked to the altar and the young men there.
AT SIR BRYAN'S NOD, Keifer and the other celebrants kneeled, their backs to the watching crowd. Somehow Keifer pushed thoughts of his uncle to the back of his mind and concentrated on the man before him.
Sir Bryan stepped in front of each man in turn, going through the ritual. When he stopped in front of Keifer, he asked, “Do you pledge to maintain and defend the faith of our fathers?”
In a strong voice Keifer replied, “I so pledge.”
“Will you govern your lands with a firm but compassionate hand?”
Again Keifer said, “I so pledge.”
“And will you uphold and defend your earthly lord?”
“I so pledge.”
Sir Bryan turned to Keifer's squire. Owyn handed the earl a pair of golden spurs. Sir Bryan faced Keifer again and held them in his hands. “Wear these spurs as an outward sign of your commitment to serve God.”
Keifer took the spurs. God would not be served with revenge, and Keifer bowed his head and vowed that so long as Angus left Keifer and his family alone, Keifer would not seek a confrontation. But given cause, Keifer would seek his revenge. 'Twas the best Keifer could promise, and it eased his heart. Then Keifer watched as the earl took Ian Macnab's sword from Owyn and tapped Keifer's shoulder three times, then placed the weapon into Keifer's outstretched hands.
Keifer kissed the blade of his father's sword, vowing silently to honor his memory.
“Rise, Sir Keifer of Innishewan and laird of Clan Macnab.”
To Keifer's surprise, Owyn handed the Macnab laird's ring to Sir Bryan, who in turn gave it to Keifer. Nola had not forgotten the request in his last letter, that she send the ring with her father. Or had she brought it herself? As he pushed the ring onto his finger, Keifer vowed to thank her for accomplishing the task.
Keifer stood, and Sir Bryan performed the same ritual with the rest of the candidates. When he was finished, the earl solemnly led the new knights down the center of the church, and the audience filed out behind them.
In the church yard, friends and families of the newly knighted men gathered around them to offer congratulations. As he accepted the well wishes, Keifer scanned the crowd for his mother. He needed to be sure Owyn had given her the warning. He would encourage her and Sir Dougal to return quickly to the safety of Innishewan.
He still needed to find Nola and set things right with her. He had little time before he must leave with Sir Thomas. Remembering his brief encounter with Nola yesterday, Keifer wondered if he was making too much of a childhood vow. But he couldn't stop himself. He had known Nola the child, and now he wanted time to get to know the woman she had become. He'd just found Nola in the crowd when his mother, his stepfather, and his sister and her husband walked toward him.
His mother stood beside him and looked in the direction of his gaze. “She is a beautiful young woman.”
Wondering if he was allowing his emotions to show, he slowly turned away from watching Nola. “Who do you mean?”
“The Mackintosh girl. A mother notices these things.”
He smiled. “You see what isn't there. Nola and I were best of friends as children. And I haven't had a chance to speak with her since she arrived.”
“Do ye love her?”
“Of course not. You know my feelings about marriage. I've written to you of it oft enough.”
The others drew close now and Keifer nodded to them while his mother spoke. “Aye, but feelings can change, Keifer. I never thought to remarry.” She smiled at her husband.
“Nor did I,” said Dougal. “Give it time.”
Keifer didn't want to have this conversation. There were more pressing concerns. “Mother, did Owyn speak with you?”
“Aye, he did. I was a bit surprised that ye've taken him as yer squire.”
“As was I,” Morrigan said. “Do ye trust him?”
Keifer hadn't seen the man since the ceremony ended, and he had a moment of unease. He shook it off. “I trust him with my life or he wouldn't be my squire. He has sworn his loyalty to me and risked the wrath of his father in doing so.”
Morrigan's eyes widened. “Angus knows?”
“He does now. Today his oath became public. That is why I urge all of you to return to Innishewan.”
His mother looked confused. “We plan to leave with ye.”
“That won't be possible.” Keifer explained about his duty to accompany Randolph to Paris. “So I will feel better knowing you are safely home.”
Fergus nodded. “I agree with yer son, Lady Eveleen.” He said to Keifer, “Is Angus nearby Homelea?”
Grimly he nodded. “He was yesterday.”
“But what of yer safety, Keifer? I agree with Owyn that his father will seek to hurt me through ye. Angus knows me too well. I would prefer my own death to yers.”
Sir Dougal cleared his throat. “While I can applaud your motherly emotions, Eveleen, I would like to see you both alive and well for years to come.”