She was not going to see him again.
Perhaps ever.
Panic threatened. But Gwen smiled politely about her and turned to the door.
Before Lady Barclay could reply, Lord Trentham himself appeared in the doorway, breathing heavily and looking large and flushed and fierce-eyed. He glanced around at them all, and then his eyes focused upon her.
“You are leaving?” he asked.
Relief flooded through her. And she
wished
he had stayed away a little longer.
The old contradictions.
“My brother has come for me,” she said. “The Earl of Kilbourne. Neville, this is Lord Trentham, who found me when I hurt myself and carried me all the way here.”
The two men looked at each other. Taking each other’s measure in that age-old male way.
“Lord Trentham,” Neville said. “Gwen mentioned your name in her letter. It sounded familiar then, and now that I see you, I understand why. You were Captain Emes? You led the Forlorn Hope on Badajoz. I am honored. And in your debt. You have been extraordinarily kind to my sister.”
He offered his right hand, and Lord Trentham took it.
Gwen turned determinedly to the Duke of Stanbrook.
“You have been kindness and courtesy itself,” she said. “Words are not adequate to express my gratitude.”
“Our club is to lose its honorary member,” he said, smiling in his austere way. “We will miss you, Lady Muir. Perhaps I will see you in town later in the year? I plan to be there for a short while.”
And then all the goodbyes were said, and there was nothing left to do but leave. It was something for which she had longed just an hour or so ago. Now her heart was heavy, and she dared not look where she yearned with all her heart to look.
Neville took a step closer to her, clearly intending to carry her out to the carriage, and she turned to hand her crutches to a footman who stood nearby.
But Lord Trentham moved faster than her brother and scooped her up into his own arms without a by-your-leave.
“I carried you in here, ma’am,” he said, “and I will carry you out of here.”
And he strode out through the doors and half ran down the steps with her, well ahead of Neville or anyone else.
“So this is it,” he said.
“Yes.”
There were a million things she wanted to say—surely that many. She could not think of a single one. Which was just as well. Really there was nothing at all to say.
The carriage door was open. Lord Trentham leaned inside with her and set her carefully down on the seat facing the horses. He took one of the cushions from the back of the seat opposite, set it flat, and lifted her foot onto it. He looked up into her eyes then, his own dark and blazing. His mouth was set in a grim line. His jaw looked more granitelike than ever. He looked like a hardened, rather dangerous military officer again.
“Have a pleasant journey,” he said before withdrawing his head from the carriage and straightening up beside it.
“Thank you,” she said.
She smiled. He did not.
At this time yesterday they were making love on the beach, he naked, she as good as.
Neville climbed into the carriage and took the seat beside her, the door was slammed shut, and they were on their way.
Gwen leaned forward and sideways to wave through the window. They were all out there, the duke and his guests, including Lord Trentham, who stood a little apart from the others, his face fiercely expressionless, his hands clasped behind his back.
“I wonder you did not die of fright, Gwen,” Neville said, laughing softly. “I daresay it was Captain Emes’s face that breached the walls of Badajoz. He deserved all the accolades that followed, though. It is generally agreed that there was no other man in the whole army who could have done what he did that day. He must be justly proud of himself.”
Ah, Hugo.
“Yes,” she said, resting her head back against the cushions and closing her eyes. “Neville, I am so glad you came. I am
so
glad.”
Which did not at all explain why a moment later tears were coursing down her cheeks and she was hiccupping in a vain attempt to silence her sobs and Neville was setting an arm about her shoulders and making soothing sounds and producing a large linen handkerchief from a pocket of his coat.
“Poor Gwen,” he said. “You have been through a nasty ordeal. But I will soon have you back home, where Mama can fuss over you to her heart’s content—and Lily too, I have no doubt. And the older children have both been asking for Aunt Gwen almost from the moment you left and demanding to know when you will return. They were delighted to see me go when they knew I would be bringing you back with me. The baby, of course, was indifferent to the whole thing. Provided she has Lily close by, she is perfectly content, wise little creature. Oh, and lest you begin to think otherwise, I will be rather glad to have you back home too.”
He grinned down at her.
Gwen hiccupped once more and gave him a watery smile.
“And you will soon have plenty more to keep your mind off your ankle,” Neville said. “The family will be descending upon us for Easter. Had you remembered?”
“Of course,” she said, though in truth it had slipped her mind lately. Lady Phoebe Wyatt, the newest addition to Neville and Lily’s family, was to be baptized and a large number of their relatives were coming to the abbey to help celebrate the occasion. They included Gwen’s two favorite cousins, Lauren and Joseph.
Oh, it
did
feel good to be going back home. Back to her own familiar world and the people she loved, the people who loved her.
She turned her head to gaze out through the carriage window.
Have a pleasant journey,
he had said.
What had she expected? A lover’s lament? From
Lord Trentham
?
“We had better stop in the village,” she said. “I had better say goodbye to Vera.”
Hugo went straight to London after leaving Penderris. He longed to go home to Crosslands, to be quiet there for a while, to see the new lambs and calves, to talk over the spring planting with his steward, to plan his flower garden better than he had done last year, to … well, to lick his wounds.
He felt wounded.
But if he went to Crosslands first, he might make excuses to stay there indefinitely, and he might indeed become the recluse some of his friends in the Survivors’ Club accused him of being. Not that there was anything wrong with being a recluse if one enjoyed living with oneself for company, as Hugo did, even if his friends insisted that it was not his natural state and he was in danger of exploding somehow one day, like a firecracker waiting for a spark to ignite it.
But there
was
something wrong with being a recluse or even a happy farmer and gardener when one had responsibilities elsewhere. His father had been dead for longer than a year now, and in all that time Hugo had done no more than glance over the meticulously detailed reports William Richardson sent him each month. His father had chosen his manager with care and had trusted him utterly. But, he had told Hugo during those last hours of his life, Richardson was
only
a manager, not a visionary. Hugo’s eyes had several times paused upon some detail in the reports, and he had felt an itch to make some change, to force some new direction, to get
involved
. But it was an itch he had stubbornly refused to scratch. He did not
want
to be involved.
It was an attitude he could not continue to hold.
And Constance was getting older by the day. Nineteen was still very young, of course, even if she sometimes hinted in her letters that it was
ancient
. But he knew that many girls considered they were on the shelf if they were not married before they were twenty. Even regardless of that, though, all girls of eighteen or nineteen ought to be out enjoying themselves with other young people of their own age. They should be looking about them for prospective partners, testing the waters, making choices.
Fiona was too sickly to take Constance anywhere herself, and she was also too sickly to allow anyone else to take Constance away from her. How would she manage without her daughter by her side every second of her waking day?
There was no one more selfish than his stepmother. Only he could stand up to her. And it was something he must do again, for he was Constance’s guardian.
He resisted the temptation to go to Crosslands, then, and went straight to London instead. The time had come.
He steeled his nerve.
Constance was more than delighted to see him. She squealed loudly and came dashing across her mother’s sitting room when he was announced, and launched herself into his arms.
“Hugo!” she cried. “Oh, Hugo. You have
come
.
At last.
And without giving us any warning, you wretch. Will you be
staying
? Oh, do say you will. Hugo. Oh, Hugo.”
He hugged her tightly to him and let love and guilt wash over him in equal measure. She was youthful and slender and blond and pretty with eager green eyes. She looked remarkably like her mother and made him understand why his sober, steady father had done something as uncharacteristic as marry a milliner’s assistant eighteen years his junior after an acquaintance of a mere two weeks.
“I will stay,” he said. “I promised I would come this spring, did I not? You are looking remarkably fine, Connie.”
He held her at arm’s length and looked down at her. There was a sparkle to her eyes and color in her cheeks even though it looked as though she needed to get more sunshine on her skin. He would see that that was put to rights.
His stepmother seemed equally pleased to see him. Not that he often thought of Fiona as his stepmother. She was only five years older than he. He had been a big lad when she had married his father, far bigger than she. She had fawned over him, showered affection upon him, shown pride in him and praised him to his father—and ultimately driven him away. He would not have insisted that his father purchase his commission if it had not been for Fiona. He had not grown up wanting to be a soldier, after all. Strange thought that. How different his life might have been.
It was a thought to add to all the other what-ifs of his existence.
She held out a hand to him now, a handkerchief clutched in it. She was still lovely in a languid, faded sort of way. She was as slender as Constance. There was no gray in her hair and there were no lines on her face. There was an unhealthy pallor to her complexion, though, which might have been caused by real ill-health or by imagined ailments that kept her constantly at home and inactive. She had always had those ailments. She had used them to keep his father attentive, though she had probably not needed to use any wiles to accomplish that goal. His father had adored her to the end, even if his understanding of her character had saddened him.
“Hugo!” she said as he bowed over her hand and carried it to his lips. “You have come home. Your father would have been pleased. He intended that you look after me. And Constance too.”
“Fiona.” He released her hand and took a step back. “I trust your needs have been fully met during the past year even in my absence. If they have not been, someone will be answering to me.”
“Such a masterful man.” She smiled wanly. “I always liked that about you. I have lacked for company, Hugo.
We
have lacked for company, have we not, Constance?”
“But you are here now,” Constance said happily, linking her arm through his. “And you are staying. Oh, will you take me to see our cousins? Or invite them here? And
will
you take me—”
“Constance,” her mother said plaintively.
Hugo took a seat and set a hand over his sister’s soft little one after drawing her down beside him.
He stayed for almost two weeks. He did not invite any of his relatives to his house. Fiona’s health would not allow it. He did visit his aunts and uncles and cousins, however, taking Constance with him despite her mother’s protests at being left alone. And he realized something very quickly. Most of his relatives were sociable beings and well connected in their middle-class world. They were all delighted to see him and equally happy to see Constance. Some of the younger cousins were in her age group. Any or all of them would be perfectly willing to take Constance about with them. She would make friends in no time. She would probably have a large circle of admirers within days or weeks. She could be married before summer was out.
All she really needed was for someone—
him
—to put his foot down with her mother so that she was no longer incarcerated at home like an unpaid companion. He would not be compelled to marry. Not for Constance’s sake, anyway. And he was not eager to rush into marriage for the other reason. He was going to be in London for a while. He could satisfy his needs in other ways than marrying.
It was a bit of a depressing thought, actually, but then so was marriage.
Fulfilling his obligation to his half sister was not to be that easy after all, though. For she had definite ideas of her own about what would make her happy, and they went beyond moving in the world of her cousins, much as she loved them and enjoyed calling upon them.
“You are a
lord,
Hugo,” she said when they were strolling in Hyde Park one morning before Fiona was even up from her bed. “And you are a
hero
. It must be possible for you to move in higher circles than Papa ever could. Once people learn that you are in town, they will surely send you invitations. How absolutely
marvelous
it would be to attend a
ton
ball at one of the grand mansions in Mayfair. To dance there. Can you imagine it?”
He looked askance at her. He would really rather not imagine any such thing.
“I am sure you will attract a whole host of admirers from our own world if our cousins take you under their wing,” he said. “How can you not, Connie? You are so very pretty.”
She smiled up at him and then wrinkled her nose.
“But they are so
dull,
Hugo,” she said. “So
staid
.”