He dropped his gaze.
“Taz…”
He shook his head when she tried to touch him. How could she bear it after what he’d—
“Sorry,” he rasped.
“So you should be.” Her voice was cold, strong, like a fast moving stream.
She got up and turned off the burner. Just as well as his appetite had died. He wasn’t sure he could face food again for a very, very long time.
After a moment, she sat down next to him. “Why do you distrust women so much?” Her voice was neutral.
He’d give anything, anything not to talk about this, but after what he’d said, he couldn’t… He had to try to make it up to her.
The truth seemed suddenly a small thing.
“My mother sold me from the time I was ten until I ran away at fifteen.”
He heard her inhale sharply. Couldn’t look at her.
“I know what it’s like to be raped, Jenny.”
“Oh, my God.” She reached out and crushed his hand with hers. “Taz.”
Only someone who had lived what he had could understand, so he let her hold onto him.
“Is that why you’re helping me?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. I don’t fucking know, all right!”
The only sound was his harsh breathing.
Then she released his hand and got up. He heard her go back to their breakfast, heard the sounds of plates and cutlery and then she placed two steaming crêpes in front of him. “It’s slightly burned, but you need to eat if you’re going to go to work,” she said.
Because she was right and because, thank Christ, she didn’t ask him anything more, he forced himself to eat. He knew it was wonderful, but it tasted like sand. He had trouble swallowing the ball of misery in his throat.
He’d wanted to help her with her ghosts and now he’d been ambushed by his.
“Taz, if I try to get out more, do things I used to, will you begin to examine your ideas about women?”
His gaze made it to her throat. After a moment he gave a jerky nod.
“Okay then.” She reached out and brushed his hair out of his eyes. Instinctively he pushed his face into her touch, yearning.
They didn’t speak. He thought he’d break or maybe she would if they did.
“I’ll help you with the fence. Tomorrow I’m going to visit the pup… Maybe even bring him home.”
“Holy shit,” he croaked, then cleared his throat again. “That’s fast.”
“The shelter left a message—they need to make room for another puppy so the sooner I can take him the better.”
“I can swing by the pet store, get some stuff before I start my shift,” Taz offered. He felt as if he were trying to walk normally over slippery ice. Somehow he had to make it to firmer ground.
“Oh, would you do that?” Jenny got up and went to her purse on the kitchen counter.
“Do
not
try to give me cash,” he said in his voice of doom.
Jenny sighed, looking at him. “All right, just this once.”
“Damn straight, woman. I practically dragged you over to that SPCA display. You could say this is partly my doing.”
“So he’s partly your dog?”
His mouth opened. Closed.
And Jenny laughed.
It was like that moment when sunlight had warmed her at the window. It seared away the hard words, cauterized the pain.
He quirked his lips. “Just until he tries to eat one of my shoes.”
* * * *
Jenny sat on her porch swing and watched Taz finish hammering in the last of the fence posts. He’d done an amazing job, making it hard to tell where the older fence and newer one were joined. All that remained was the little swing gate and latch, which he told her he’d install tomorrow.
Rubbing the back of his sweaty neck, he sauntered toward her, his long legs in jeans, his wife beater giving him a sexy insolence that had stopped her heart from the first time she’d seen him.
And just like that she wanted him again. Wanted to run her hands over his bare, smooth oh-my-God muscled chest, wanted to suck on the nipples she could see poking through the cotton.
Her breathing picked up, part needing, part apprehension.
He cocked his head, studying her as he came and sat next to her on the swing.
A car passed. Taz used his bare feet to launch the swing into gentle rocking.
When he took her hand and squeezed, she knew he’d read her as effortlessly as he always had. He knew she wanted him. He knew she was scared.
And his touch told her he was sorry for what he’d said, how he’d reacted earlier.
“Get over here.”
She put her head on his shoulder. Tucked her feet under her legs. “Do you think your friends will like me?”
His lips quirked. “Of course. They’re not sexy bastards like me.”
When she didn’t contradict him, he gave her an amused glance.
“Hey, you said it,” she said, lifting a hand.
“Yeah. And their women will love you, Dharma and Sian. They live to give me hell,” he grumped.
“Go them.” She pursed her lips. “I think I know Sian a little. She’s pregnant, right? She was usually working when I went by. Plus she sold me that
smoking
calendar.”
His ears heated. He was…blushing? Holy shit!
“Jenny Ann Green, you do not have a nudie calendar.”
She gave him a ‘get real’ look. “Hello, it’s not the nineteenth century.”
“The way you dress, it might be.”
She flushed and she saw a flash of something like ‘I’m sorry’
in his eyes.
And suddenly she was sick of wearing her dowdy dresses when she went out. Maybe, just maybe, Jenny Ann Green would wear something from her siren stash tonight. Just to show Taz he didn’t know everything.
“There are three nudes of you in the charity calendar. I keep it in my bedside drawer.”
There could be only one reason to do that.
She saw awareness in his eyes and more color burn his cheeks. Oh, so tough Taz could get embarrassed? She loved it.
He looked straight into her eyes. “Let me know if you ever want to see the full monty in person.”
And now she was blushing. And imagining.
Damn Taz anyway.
Chapter Six
Taz couldn’t believe his eyes.
Jenny Ann Green had transformed herself sometime during his shift from Laura Ashley good girl into slinky goddess.
The first thing he noticed was her legs. Her long, long legs wearing those sky-high blue heels he’d bought her on the trip to the mall. The next thing that staggered him was her little blue halter top. It was tied behind her neck and looked about as large as a handkerchief over her bountiful assets. And the little skirt with some kind of rippling hemline.
Her hair was down, moving on her back like a fall of satin.
Whoa, baby.
“Uh, I hate to tell you this.” Makeup. She was actually wearing more than lip gloss and a bit of mascara. She’d outlined her eyes so she looked like a sexy ancient Egyptian queen, all ready to order her male slave—which would be Taz—to go down on her. Her mouth was the same color as the plums that would ripen soon in her backyard.
“What?” Even her voice sounded different. Breathy. Like they’d already done something to speed up her heart rate.
He hated to crush her. “You’re not dressed appropriately for helping out with this kind of building project.”
Jenny hefted a gym bag triumphantly. “Yoga clothes!”
Okay. He guessed they would do. “So why did you dress up like this if you were just going to change?”
“Excuse me, but are you from the planet Krypton?”
“Huh?” He was getting more lost. “You mean like Superman?”
“Because asking a woman why she’d bother to dress up makes me think you must consider yourself invulnerable.”
He laughed.
“You look…great.”
She nodded regally. “Thank you. It’s a special occasion.”
“Yeah?” Had he lost track of her birthday or something?
“I’m going back to my favorite coffee shop and I really don’t want to go. Because I’m afraid of being noticed.”
“So that’s why the ‘notice me’ clothes. Aw.”
“Are you making fun of me?”
“Maybe only a tiny amount.” But mostly she was melting him. Again.
He paused beside his truck, feeling like he’d been swimming in the ocean and suddenly someone had grabbed his ankle, yanking him under. He was…going places he wasn’t used to.
He wasn’t going to be the same man after helping Jenny.
They had managed to salvage as much of the old wooden façade of Coffee Dreams as possible so the outside resembled the silvered planks of an old pier. Compared to the other shops in the strip mall, it was miles ahead in construction, a testament to the commitment of the men and women at Station 57, who had been putting in a lot of extra hours helping out. The smell of freshly cut cedar stung Taz’s nose as he guided Jenny through the doorway with a palm over the small of her back.
He felt tension ripple through her, felt the deep breath she took.
From his place on a ladder, Zane Newmark the Third pushed his white blond hair out of his eyes, giving Jenny a shy smile. The rookie firefighter had a little crush on Taz’s Jenny and a couple of times had tried to help her when she’d sleepwalked.
But Taz hadn’t liked it. Even though he’d been grateful that the rook, another neighbor of his and Jenny’s, had rescued her, Taz wanted to be the only one to see her at her worst. It was a protective instinct he couldn’t fight.
Zane was an enigma. He was almost delicately built with cat-like grace, but he possessed a scary blind bravery and he was stronger than he looked. He was relentless as a firefighter. But he came from one of the wealthiest families in the San Diego area, a family he never spoke about. He lived in a modest house and Taz hadn’t seen him date. Ever.
The guy lived like a monk.
But he did like Jenny and… Maybe sometime that would come in handy. Taz filed away the thought before giving Fred a nod where he stood nursing a beer while his young fiancée Dharma filled the shop’s coffee roaster. Soon the scent of beans joined the cedar in an acidic bouquet.
Fred nodded to him, looking completely relaxed, his legs crossed at the ankles, slouching back at the counter. He no longer looked like a man who questioned his appeal to his much younger lady.
Sian was resting in one of the new leather club chairs they’d bought to replace the old ones. It was fire engine red, in honor of the firefighters who had fought the flames that had nearly swallowed Coffee Dreams. She was rubbing her huge pregnant belly as if to encourage the kid to come out already.
Taz’s best friend Luke took off his goggles, shutting off the spinning saw. He nodded at Taz. Sawdust sprinkled his T-shirt and shorts, highlighting the pallor of his face like freckles. Looked like Luke had been missing his run lately too.
Probably still not sleeping when Sian didn’t sleep.
And then it hit Taz.
He
hadn’t been sleeping either.
Because he was too busy watching over a woman.
“I’m glad you brought her, man,” Luke said under his breath. “Even though she looks terrified.”
Taz looked at Jenny, but he only saw courage shining in her eyes. She gave him a tense smile as she sat next to Sian.
“She’ll be all right,” he said.
Luke studied him, not Jenny. “Yeah, I think she will be. So you gonna help me put up some of the built-ins behind the counter?”
“Is that what you’re messing around with, Cade? Jesus, it’s a wonder no one’s lost an eye.”
“Har.”
Soon Fred, Zane and Taz were holding up heavy shelving while Luke marked the wall, watching the little bubble in his level. Fred had lost his shirt along with the other two men and Taz noticed he had a deep pink mark on his lower back. Bite mark, on the shy battalion chief?
“You got a woman now, Taz?” Fred muttered.
“I’m not the one wearing his woman’s bite mark.”
“Jealous?”
Yeah. Yeah, he was, God damn it.
“Where are your girls?”
“With their mom in Arizona. Probably shopping.”
“How do you manage it, three women and shopping?”
Fred only smiled, looking so satisfied that Taz could tell he didn’t feel put upon by his new life. Well, why would he? Dharma had moved into his house recently and his daughters seemed to be adjusting. He’d finally managed to wean his girlfriend from her beloved shabby apartment.
“She’s pregnant.”
Taz didn’t know what to say.
Fred cracked a laugh. “You look terrified, man.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not looking to suddenly become a family man like you and Luke.”
Fred shook his head. “It’s only catching if it’s something you want.”
Taz relaxed only after Fred had dropped the subject, but he was aware of the speculative glances that his friends and their women were giving Jenny. It made him bristle inwardly. Couldn’t they see how she needed everything to be normal?
When they’d erected most of the built-ins, Dharma and Sian handed them bottled water. Taz wanted to dunk his head in the ocean. With the AC not working, it was hot as a furnace in the little coffee shop.
Suddenly his beloved Gatorade appeared in front of his face, offered by Jenny.
“Thanks.”
She’d somehow managed to change into her yoga get-up while he’d been working with the other men. Her hair was looped back in a ponytail, her tank top and yoga pants fitting comfortably. She was about as sexily dressed now as if she was wearing PJs but she might as well have been dressed for love. He found her hotter than any of the overdone women he’d brought over to his place.
“Want to use my hot tub later?”
She blinked. “I’ve only ever seen you use it.”
“Oh, have you?” he purred, taking another gulp of his sports drink. He couldn’t stop himself from looping an arm around her neck. She felt good against him. “I don’t wear clothes when I use it.”
Her lips quirked. “Why do you think I bought a pair of opera glasses? From my second floor, I have a very
nice
view.”
Taz choked. “You…watched me? You little voyeur!”
She laughed, sounding pleased with herself. “Hey, I’m a red-blooded woman. And I wouldn’t have such a wonderful garden if I didn’t appreciate scenery.”
He had to snicker. “You’re always surprising me.”