The Rainbow Maker's Tale (44 page)

The pains in my body bothered
me less than the deterioration of my mind. I couldn’t really
remember when I last slept. Certainly I’d been unconscious on
several occasions, but that did not really help, and the rest of
the time they had kept me awake, with incessant questions or other
less pleasant activities. Now though, everything was fading: I was
so
aware
of what I was losing from my mind it was terrifying
– it felt like entire periods of my life were melting away.

Images of Cassie were the
strongest for me – love protected my memories – but even those were
getting harder to see as I tried to hide her from them. I knew the
pictures were becoming less distinct: the colour and light of my
mind was weakening.

* * *

I used to walk, but now I
crawl.

There is no energy in my
spirit, no strength in my muscles.

For all I have tried to protect
Cassie – to save both of us – all I can see now is that our demise
is inevitable. Whatever else these creatures may be, I know that
they are relentless.

It will not continue much
longer, I think. They come back only to pump more drugs into my
body – I’m sure that soon I will be subjected to the same awful
fate I was forced to watch Joel endure.

To my surprise, I envy him…that
he is already dead and yet my suffering continues… All I wish for
is death, knowing that I have failed myself. Failed Cassie. The
knowledge that I would never see her again was killing me just as
much as everything else these creatures had done... There was no
escape from the shadows that were drawing closer to drag us away
into the unending darkness. My vision dimmed.

Closing my eyes tightly I
sought her face in my mind. It blossomed into focus, beautiful and
bright, chasing away the gathering blackness as she illuminated my
thoughts.

This was not enough.

This was all I had.

For a long while there was
nothing but darkness and dreams. I might have thought I was dead,
but then I was still conscious enough to be thinking, wasn’t I?

Some things had improved: there
was no pain any more, because I couldn’t feel my body now.
Sometimes I heard voices whispering at the edge of my black world.
I wasn’t really interested in them. Now and then, Cassie would be
there: talking to me, laughing. I liked those moments the best,
although they never lasted long enough.

Most of the time, it was just
my brain – floating alone through the emptiness – nothing more.

* * *

From nowhere the pain returned.
It was immediate and overwhelming, as though every nerve in my body
had suddenly been switched on and overloaded. My heart was beating
wildly, thumping my chest as though it was about to explode. My
limbs – once forgotten – now thrashed outwards, muscles twitching
in spasm.

What was happening? Was this
what it felt like to die?

It was as though every part of
my body had simultaneously decided to come alive and fight…then my
eyes opened. At first I saw nothing: my vision was grainy – black
and white – and the images I picked out appeared far away, as
though I was staring down a long tunnel at them. There was nothing
familiar to focus on and much of my sight was filled by darkness.
As I looked, only a small circle in the middle became clear.

There was a figure close to me.
As I was absorbing this information, I realised that I could feel
their weight on my body: they were holding my limbs down as I
jerked. Long hair covered the face of the mystery person, but I
recognised the dark suit she was wearing: it was a Medic. With my
muscles bursting beneath my skin, I was already close to knocking
her off me. As consciousness returned, I wondered if maybe I could
try and push her off completely…perhaps she would be weaker than
the men.

With some effort I concentrated
on my arms. It was difficult to focus and none of my limbs
responded the way I expected, despite their obvious energy. Just as
I was about to try and throw her off, the woman turned and I saw
her face.

“Cassie?” Her name crossed my
lips before I could stop myself.

Was this another dream, or had
I been right before: I was dying…?

She couldn’t really be here,
could she? The last scraps of reason in my head told me that seeing
Cassie was impossible. Everything else told me that this was more
real than any of the previous delusions I’d dragged from my memory.
The weight of Cassie’s body pressed gently onto mine, I felt warmth
through our clothes as she held me, and when she turned as I spoke,
I saw her eyes: alive and bright as ever.

Before Cassie could disappear
again, I gripped onto her tightly, pulling her to me as I tried to
sit up. Closing my eyes I buried my face in her hair and inhaled
the familiar scent. “I don’t believe you’re here…tell me this is
real,” I whispered into her neck, my throat burning from speaking.
Perhaps this really was death: only the best things left, none of
the pain…but it felt so normal as well, Cassie’s body moulded to
mine just as it always did. “This
feels
real, please tell me
it’s real this time?”

The illusion in my arms
squeezed me back. “I’m here…this is real,” she whispered, sealing
her words with a kiss. Placing her hands against my face, she drew
me closer. She was here.

Words poured out, confused and
muddled without me thinking about them. “They were looking for you
– wanted me to tell
them
– but I didn’t…I think I managed to
hide my thoughts, even when they – ” I choked to a stop when my
words suddenly dried up. Then silent sobs began rocking me, as I
remained locked inside Cassie’s arms.

Forcing my eyes open, blinking
away the waterless tears I tried to get control of myself. And
that’s when I saw him: one of
them
standing just a few feet
away from us, his eyes fixed on Cassie.

“NO!” I screamed, pushing her
away from me, trying to put myself between them. My co-ordination
was off and Cassie fell awkwardly to the floor, but I managed to
get in the middle all the same. Hatred and rage fuelled me,
dispelling the lingering exhaustion. My vision was still distorted,
but it was good enough to provide me with a target, and so I
lunged.

“NO, BALIK!”

Cassie shouted from the floor
and I felt her move to stop me. I thought I was fast enough, but at
the last second she grabbed my arm and yanked me back. My first
thought was that she was trying to protect me, then I registered
the expression on her face: she trusted this creature.

“No, not you…” I shook my head,
trying to dispel the thought that Cassie was one of them. A long
time ago I had wondered if she was part of space station system,
but I’d convinced myself that wasn’t true…
Had I been
wrong?

“I’m fine Balik – I’m
me
!” She cried, her hand gripping mine tightly and pulling
me to face her. “The man – he’s not what you think – ”

“He’s one of
them
!”

“Yes,” she agreed, “but he’s
helping us.”

Helping
us
? That was
impossible. Whatever stimulant had been in my system was fading
fast and I just couldn’t connect my thoughts with any coherence. I
looked from Cassie to the man and back, registering only that he
looked familiar, before confusion set in.

“I can’t explain now,” Cassie
urged, drawing me back to her to and taking hold of my other hand.
“But you have to believe me, because others are coming! We have no
time.”

I was drifting, even as I
fought against the draw of the darkness. Blinking rapidly I tried
to shove away the fatigue that was gripping me. Cassie was still
talking to the man. I watched them without seeing, letting the
words wash over me – fuzzy and indistinct sounds – not absorbing
what they were saying.

“How do we get out of
here?”

“I can put you in a Disposal
Unit.”

There was warmth on my cheek,
turning my head. I opened my eyes – not realising that they had
closed – and found Cassie’s face close to mine.

“How much pain are you in?” she
asked.

“Not much,” I lied. It would
have been easier to list what wasn’t hurting.

The man reappeared at Cassie’s
shoulder and I pulled away, not wanting to be near him. “You might
need these,” he said, holding out a tray towards Cassie. When she
let go of me with one hand to take it, he touched her arm, turning
her towards a door at the back of the room. “We need to go
now.”

Resting heavily on Cassie, she
half-dragged, half-carried me from the room. My eyes closed
repeatedly, and I found it would be a while before I actually
realised they were shut and forced them open again. It was obvious,
even to me, that I was fading fast.

“Who…?” I mumbled, trying to
speak around the fur that lined my mouth and choked my words into
silence. I swallowed and tried again.

“Why’s ‘e ‘elping us?” I
slurred, leaning close to Cassie’s ear.

“Later,” she promised, lifting
my arm higher on her shoulder and pulling me onwards.

My limbs remained limp and I
swayed with each step, like a walking piece of rubber. Every
movement brought pain, but amidst that something triggered the
muscle memory of putting one foot in front of the other in order to
walk. I blinked slowly and each time the world swam around me in
hazy ripples, light then dark.

The rooms we passed through
made no impression on me. Perhaps my eyes were closed and I only
registered the change of location because I knew I was walking…

My knees hit the ground. Hard.
I collapsed onto my side with a groan, then Cassie’s arms closed
around me and she dragged me to my feet. There was a soft
whooshing
noise and I felt air move in front of my face. A
new room, I guessed fuzzily. Opening my eyes, I saw a white space
and the outline of a chair. Cassie eased me forwards and I took the
last few steps alone, dropping heavily into the seat and
automatically pulling the restraint across my waist, locking it
into place. How my fingers found the lock when I could barely feel
them was a miracle.

I heard Cassie and the man
talking once more, but none of the words registered at all. There
was some movement behind me: clunks and shuffling as something was
moved around. It was just noise. My head throbbed at the smallest
movement and in an effort to keep it attached to my body I leaned
forward and rested it on my chest. All I want to do is lie down
and…and…

After I’m not sure how long, I
woke up. For a long while there had been only darkness and nothing:
no dreams, no voices…just endless nothing. Now there was light. My
eyes were still closed, but I could feel the light through my lids.
I wasn’t ready to open them yet and so I listened instead.

It was quiet. But, it was a
type of quiet that told me I was alive, in a physical place with
things happening around me. I heard the soft hiss of an air
processor and the muted regular beep of some type of computer
system. Beneath those sounds was another, deeper thrumming noise:
constant and droning, but also at a distance.

My head was foggy. However, as
I lay immobile, I realised for the first time in a long while that
I wasn’t in pain. Dull aches in my fingers and chest told me that I
still had injuries – I was definitely not perfect – but at the same
time, I knew that I was much better than I had been.

With a huge effort I forced my
eyes open. It felt like they had been glued shut. As soon as the
light hit me, I had to close them again: after the blissful
darkness it was too much.

Seeing would have to wait and
so I began trying to piece together my memories of the past few
hours…days…it was difficult to be specific. I started working
backwards from the last things I could remember.

The final thing before the
darkness fell: Cassie had been with me. Somehow – I have no idea
how it was possible – but she had made it through everything and
found me! Even through the disorientation, I knew she had been with
me: I had a vague sense of being sat beside her with my eyes
closed. Something must have happened after that, because I was laid
down now…I strained to think of what had changed my situation, but
there was just…nothing. I continued going backwards.

Before the memory of sitting
beside Cassie, we had been walking – through brightly lit rooms –
but hard as I tried, I could picture nothing specific in them. It
was as though I hadn’t actually seen them, even though I’d been
there.

It was no use. My mind was
still too clouded to think clearly and my thoughts kept jumping
around, not making sense. I returned to trying to open my eyes.
Very slowly, with lots of blinking, I managed to force one eye
open. I was squinting for a long time, not really seeing much
except yellow light and my eyelashes. Then finally, I began to
focus.

I was laid in a narrow bunk.
Above me – not far from my face – was the top of the bunk. It was
made of a familiar cream-coloured plastic. And the sight of it made
me panic.

Tilting my head to the side, I
was able to make out more creamy-white shapes: a bench, chairs, and
some darker shapes, like cupboards, across from my bunk. Close to
me, on the floor, was a mobile monitoring unit. It was switched on,
beeping away to itself and, as my eyes traced the cables, I
realised that they were attached to me. The wires disappeared
beneath the sheet covering me, presumably attached to my chest.
From the looks of it, my vital signs were pretty good, all things
considered.

Scattered around the
mini-monitor were a random assortment of medical supplies. Some
were used, haphazardly discarded on the floor; others were clean
and new in their packets, waiting for use. And there, amidst the
chaos was Cassie.