No, Emily decided. She didn't want him here. Especially with the baby coming. For so long she'd desperately wanted a child and now that she was finally pregnant she wanted to focus all her energy on carrying a healthy baby to full term. Cooper's presence would dredge up memories too painful to bear.
“I won't let the Diamond D go under. I promise you that,” she told him.
He turned and stared at her. “What do you mean, you won't let it? It's already on its way.”
She flushed. “Not totally. I still have a hundred and fifty head of cattle and ten head of horses.”
His eyes quickly narrowed. “What about the horse that caused Kenneth's accident?”
She shook her head. “Daddy's already sold him.”
He was visibly relieved. “Good. I didn't relish the idea of putting a horse down, but I would have.”
Emily shook her head with disapproval. “As if that would do Kenneth any good now. An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth. A horse for a man. Is that your way of thinking?”
“Something like that.”
“I can't imagine you laying one angry hand on a horse. You always loved them. And they you. I guess that's why they've made you rich and famous.”
He walked toward her then and for a moment the smile spreading over his face made her forget he'd ever been gone.
“Who says I'm rich and famous?”
She shrugged, wishing she could keep quiet around this man. She didn't want him getting the idea he'd been in her thoughts down through the years. “Oh, everyone here in Lincoln, I suppose.”
“Then everyone is wrong. I'm just one good cowboy out of many.”
More than bothered by his closeness, Emily stepped off the hearth and away from him. “I'm going to go make a pot of coffee. It's nearly time for lunch and then I have to feed the cattle.”
“Who's been doing your feeding?”
“My dad. But I told him not to come today. I want to take care of things myself and I can't do that moping around the house.”
She didn't look strong enough to drive a pickup, much less pitch a bale of hay off the back of it. But maybe her appearance was deceiving. Cooper certainly hoped that was the case.
He followed her out of the room and down the hall to the kitchen. Built on the north side of the house, the room was naturally colder than the others. Rubbing his hands together, Cooper went over to a gas heater on the wall and was dismayed to see it wasn't burning.
“Why don't you have the fire on? It's miserable in here,” he muttered.
As Emily filled a blue granite percolator with cold water, she glanced over her shoulder at him. “A fire means gas and the cost of LP is outrageous now. If you're cold put more clothes on.”
Emily had always been a practical woman, but this was ridiculous. “Damn it all, Emily, do you think I can't buy a tank of gas?”
He went over to the cabinets and jerked open a drawer he remembered being a catchall. Thankfully it still was and a box of matches was there among the odds and ends. He carried them back to the heater, lit it and turned the control knob to high position.
Her hands on her hips, Emily glared at him in silence. Cooper lifted his brows at her.
“I have on all the clothes I want to have on,” he said.
“You might own half of this ranch, but I'm the one who pays the bills. I'm not going to buy extra gas just so you can sit around dressed like you're in the Bahamas.”
Cooper glanced pointedly down at his flannel shirt. “I haven't seen too many of these on the beach before.”
Whirling her back to him, she poured a stiff amount of coffee grounds into the pot, then plopped the lid down and whammed the whole thing on a burner on the cookstove.
“Emily, I just told you I can pay for the gas. It's no problem.”
“I'll not have you paying for anything! Not while there's breath in my body,” she hissed, her back still to him.
The venom in her voice stunned him. He'd expected her to be harboring a few bad feelings toward him. But not this bad.
“You'd rather freeze and keep your pride, I suppose,” he said, his voice heavy with sarcasm. “You'd rather sit around in a cold, drafty house and take the chance of getting bronchitis or pneumonia than take a few dollars from me.”
A few dollars wouldn't fill the propane tank, Emily wanted to shout at him. It would take several hundred and he knew it. But now that he was so successful, maybe he considered that amount as next to nothing.
Turning, she lifted her eyes to his. “Look, Cooper, the minute you start paying part of the bills, you'll get the idea you can tell me what to do. I won't have that.”
He threw up his hands in a helpless gesture. “I can't do anything for you, is that it?”
His voice was still edged with sarcasm, but she could hear something else in it, too. A need of sorts that made her heart want to weep. Ten years ago she would have given anything to have him concerned about her welfare. But he'd been too busy planning his own life and his own career. She'd been left high and dry and he'd never looked back until now. Did he honestly think she would want to accept anything from him after the pain he caused her?
Anger pushing her away from the cabinets, she went over to stand in front of him. “Buy the damn gas if you want. Just don't start giving me orders, understand?”
Seeing her intention to walk away, he grabbed her by the upper arm and dragged her back to him. Her bosom heaving, she glared up at him and tried to jerk away, but he wouldn't slacken his hold.
“You've grown as hard as nails, Emily. Why? Has your life here been that bad?”
Compared to the grip he had on her arm, his voice was soft. The sound of it caught at something inside Emily and she knew above all things now, she had to hold on to her composure. She could never let herself break down and admit to him that her marriage to Kenneth had grown into a painful one.
“I'm not being hard, Cooper. I'm being realistic.”
His eyes gently roamed her upturned face and as they did he wondered what had happened to the soft, beautiful woman who dreamed and hoped and looked at life with stars in her eyes. And in that moment, he knew he'd give anything to see that woman again.
“I never thought I'd come back and find you like this,” he murmured.
She swallowed as bittersweet emotions balled in her throat. “I never thought you'd come back, period,” she countered.
Cooper didn't profess to know women. Down through the years he'd had little time for the opposite sex. He'd never really been around any of them enough to learn their likes and dislikes, what they were thinking and feeling. But at one time in his life, he'd known Emily. And as he took in the pain on her face, it struck him that Kenneth wasn't the one that had made her like this. He had.
“Emily, Iâ”
Before he could say another word, Emily tore loose from his grip and fled the room.
Cooper was still staring after her when the sound of the coffee boiling out the spout and onto the cookstove finally snared his attention.
He went over and adjusted the burner to a slow perk, then pulled a coffee mug out of the cupboard. Apparently Emily was no longer in the mood for coffee, or him.
But whether she wanted to or not, she was going to have to get in the mood for him, he thought grimly. Because there was no way in hell he was going to leave now.
A few minutes later, as Cooper was finishing his coffee, Emily returned to the kitchen. Except for two bright spots on her cheeks, she looked as white as bleached flour. A couple of old coats were thrown across her arm and tall rubber boots were on her feet.
Tossing one of the coats at him, she said, “You wanted to help. Put that on and come with me.”
Unaffected by her order, he remained in his chair, his hands cradled around the coffee mug. “It's time for lunch.”
“We can eat whenever we get back,” she said in a clipped voice.
If she'd been a man, Cooper would have taken the coat and thrown it straight at her. As it was, he got up from his chair, snatched away the coat that was still on her arm and pushed her into a chair.
“We're going to eat. Now!”
“I'm not hungry,” she retorted.
“It looks as though you're never hungry, but you're going to eat just the same,” he snapped back at her.
Indignant, Emily watched him rummage through the shelves of the refrigerator. One by one he set out a plate of fried chicken, a bowl of potato salad, a container of baked beans and a saucer of sliced tomatoes.
At the cabinets he searched until he found two plates and forks, salt and pepper and a roll of paper towels. After pouring her a mugful of coffee, he refilled his own.
“Eat,” he said as he took a seat to her left.
She glared at him. “I told you not to be giving me orders.”
“I haven't paid any bills so the deal isn't on yet”
As far as Emily was concerned, the deal would never be on. But she filled her plate just the same and made an earnest attempt to eat.
Her aunt Justine was a registered nurse and she'd been stressing over and over to Emily just how important it was for her baby to get the proper nourishment in the early stages of development Even if she didn't have much of an appetite, she would eat for her baby's sake. The child was the one ray of light she could look forward to, the very purpose of her being. She wouldn't let Cooper or anything jeopardize her pregnancy.
“I want to talk to you,” she told him and when he looked at her with raised brows, she added, “Seriously.”
“I'm already getting the urge to call you
Your Honor
. Just how much more serious do you want to get?”
A little smile slowly crossed her face. In spite of everything that had happened it was nice to see he hadn't lost his wit. It had been one of her favorite things about him. He'd always been able to make her laugh.
When she'd first met Cooper, he'd been sidelined from his bronc riding with a broken leg and had come home to the Diamond D to heal. He'd needed a nurse to help him with physical therapy and eventually, through a mutual friend, he'd learned Justine had worked as a therapist and didn't live all that far away.
When her aunt had driven out to the Diamond D to meet Cooper, she'd invited Emily to accompany her. From the first moment she'd laid eyes on him, she'd been awestruck. Not because he'd already started to make a name for himself in the world of rodeo. Athletes had never really impressed Emily all that much, even when they pitted their strength against a twelve-hundred-pound horse. But for some unexplainable reason, she'd felt an instant connection to Cooper, a pull like an electric force from which she couldn't break away.
That had been more than ten years ago. Now he was back sitting only a few inches away and here she was once again feeling that same pull toward him. She had to stop it, she firmly told herself. She couldn't let herself feel drawn to this man. He was a user. A heartbreaker. She didn't need him.
“I want you to rethink this idea you have about staying here on the Diamond D,” she told him. “You only have a couple more months to go before the season ends and then you'll have a bit of time off after the National Finals in Las Vegas. At this late date, it doesn't make sense for you to sideline your career. You can always come back later and check on the ranch.”
He shot her a skeptical look. “And what's going to happen during November and December? You can't keep this place going by yourself.”
She lifted her chin proudly. “Most of it, I can. And Daddy is already checking on a man to help me with the heavier work. If you feel you just have to do something, you can contribute to his wages. Otherwise, you're going to lose a lot of money and possibly even your position in the PRCA standings.”
Any other time Cooper would have agreed with her, even appreciated the common sense she was using toward both their predicaments. But oddly enough, the money he might win in the next couple of months, or his number one position in the money earned column, didn't really mean what it once had to Cooper. He could live without the glory, the stardom and the big paychecks.
“I'm not all that worried about the next two months of rodeos. I'm more concerned about getting things done around here. There's hardly enough hay for the horses, let alone the cattle. Fences are falling down. The roof on the barn is sagging in and God only knows what else needs to be repaired. You said it had taken years for the ranch to get in this run-down condition, well, it looks as though it's going to take quite a long time to fix it.”
Emily knew he was right. And she should probably be glad he wanted to make things better. But she couldn't live in the same house with him. She wasn't strong enough to forgive or forget what he'd done to her. Even worse, she wasn't at all sure she had the strength or courage to resist him.