The Rancher's Prospect (23 page)

“I picked up stuff at the deli,” he said, pulling out containers of fruit compote, potato salad, grilled chicken and a tray of raw vegetables. “After so much reconstituted food, the fresh fruits and veggies have tasted really good.”

“I haven't been able to get enough myself.” Tara crunched down a piece of cauliflower. “How are things going at the Boxing N?”

“Grandpa and I have worked out a compromise for how to run the ranch without getting in each other's way.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Horses are his first love, so he'll handle all the horse breeding and training while I focus on cattle.”

The sensible arrangement impressed her. “That's terrific.”

“And much more peaceful. Word is getting around, and the cowhands who quit are already looking to get their jobs back. It would be great if you came out to see how it's working.”

“Oh. I'll try, but I've taken on some new clients, so I'm pretty busy right now.”

“Grandpa really misses you.”

“I miss him, too, but he's coming to lunch on Sunday.”

“That's nice.”

Josh's expression seemed hopeful, but Tara determinedly kept from saying anything stupid...such as inviting him, as well.

Coming here today had been a stupid move. What she needed was
more
distance, not less.

* * *

A
S
THEY
ATE
, Josh could see Tara was putting up her defenses.

He could hardly blame her. Especially in the beginning, he'd treated her as a globetrotting princess who had no business in Montana. On top of that, he'd tried to pry her out of the ranch office and had suggested she was being careless about Grandpa Walt's welfare.

It was little comfort to know he'd probably behaved that way to protect himself; he must have realized Tara had the potential to turn his world upside down. True or not, it was no excuse for being a jerk.

Yet Tara
had
changed everything. She was the reason he'd started really talking to his grandfather and seeing him more clearly. She'd also gotten him to see how narrow his life had become.

Josh took a long drink from his bottle of water, embarrassed to remember how often he'd complained that Grandpa was closed off when
he
hadn't been any better. At least Walt and Evelyn had loved each other without reservation. The only things Josh had were brief relationships and meaningless sex.

Now he could see a whole array of intriguing possibilities and wanted to explore each and every one of them with Tara.

But how could he convince her that he was worth the risk?

After they ate, Josh suggested taking a walk. “The sunset is beautiful by the river.”

Tara shook her head. “I should get back and have an early night. My schedule is intense right now.”

“Come on,” he coaxed. “It's a beautiful evening, too nice to spend inside.”

“All right, just for a while.”

Around a bend of the path, out of sight from potential observers, Josh stopped and drew her close. He kissed her gently and felt the briefest response before Tara pulled back.

“No hot spring here,” she said, “and casual sex was out of character for me, anyhow. Find one of your other women to snuggle with in Schuyler.”

“I might be able to find somebody, but there's only one woman for me now.”

“Don't be ridiculous.” Tara turned and gazed at the river. “That isn't funny.”

“I agree, one hundred percent. I've been an idiot, which is hardly any fun to realize.”

“Josh, I don't want to discuss this
or
what happened up in the mountains. I thought you understood that.”

“I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about love.”

She jerked and wheeled around to stare at him. “That's even more ridiculous.”

“Tara, I want a future with you. I don't want to keep prioritizing the wrong things. We can work on that together so we won't miss out on anything in the years ahead. I love you, and that's all I care about.”

Tara shook her head. “You've got the wrong woman. I don't know
how
to love. Remember, I'm the difficult foster kid who pushed everyone away.”

“You're wrong,” he refuted steadily. “You know how to love, and you do it so well that you've been protecting yourself against the pain of it ever since you were little.”

“This is an insane discussion,” she insisted. “I'm tired and I want to go back to my apartment. I'll walk if necessary.”

Josh sighed. After all, he hadn't expected this to be easy. Life with Tara would never be easy, but it would be worth every challenging minute.

“Okay, I'll take you home. But I'm not giving up on the best thing I could ever have. Don't forget, I'm both a Nelson and a McGregor. We're a stubborn lot and sometimes thickheaded, but once we see the truth, we're tenacious. Please think about it.”

Neither of them said anything else. At the apartment Tara slid silently from the truck and let herself inside.

Josh sat, watching the front room lights go on briefly before turning off again. Obviously she'd meant it about wanting to go to bed. He would give anything to be under the sheets with her...anything
except
the future he was trying to convince her to share with him.

So what was going to be his next move?

* * *

T
ARA
LEANED
AGAINST
her bedroom door, trying to regain her composure. She'd expected Josh to suggest spending the night together, not to declare he loved her.

She blinked.

Had he actually suggested that he wanted to get married?

A normal woman would be over the moon instead of being vaguely depressed with a side order of panic.

Feeling as if she was slogging through thick mud, Tara stepped into the shower, letting the water stream over her. When the tank finally ran cold, she crawled into bed and lay staring into the darkness. Josh had asked her to think about it, and she'd told herself not to do anything of the kind.

But his words came back to her, over and over. He'd claimed that despite what she thought, she
did
know how to love. What had he said...that she knew how to love so well, she'd had to protect herself against it?

The thought was flattering. Tara just wasn't sure it was true. Memories of childhood and the parade of foster parents she'd known flooded back. In the beginning, she'd quickly become fond of each new family, hoping they would love her in return. Some of them might have cared a little, but she'd also learned that foster parents weren't
supposed
to get too attached.

By the end, she'd refused to feel anything. She'd been polite, done the chores assigned to her, obeyed the rules and studied hard. If nothing else, she'd wanted her records to stop saying she was difficult. But it had been a relief to leave for college and no longer live with people who weren't her family and never would be.

Then she'd met Pierre...handsome, ardent and determined to marry her. She'd thought her luck was turning.

But time had passed, and she never seemed to be what Pierre had expected. After a while he'd begun saying she was cold and unresponsive...that he would have to teach her how to make love the way he liked.

Tara rolled over and punched her pillow. Josh had never complained that she was cold; he'd seemed quite pleased with the way she responded to him. Heat suffused her body as she remembered a few aquatic explorations they'd both found exciting.

So why did Pierre get the deciding vote on her ability to love? Now that she thought about it, while Pierre had been passionate, he hadn't actually been
warm
. So what did he know about the subject?

Exasperated, Tara sat up and grabbed the biography on Mary, Queen of Scots. Unfortunately she'd reached the section where poor Mary was discovering her second husband wasn't quite the man she'd thought.

Tara tossed the book down with disgust.

All right, she loved Josh. Despite her best efforts and fervent wish not to get hurt, she'd still fallen in love with him. That didn't mean they could have a relationship. He was a Montana rancher, and she'd never lived in one place for longer than two years.

He'd always wanted someone who knew and loved ranching the way he did.

That wasn't her.

He'd expected to wait until he'd achieved his ambitions before considering marriage and family.

That wasn't now.

How could anyone build a future on such a shaky foundation?

CHAPTER NINETEEN

J
OSH
SAT
ON
HIS
PORCH
.
He'd called Tara's cell phone at least two dozen times, without success. How could he tear down her defenses?

There had to be a way.

At night he pictured her in his bed. In the morning he imagined sunlight dancing across her cheeks as she woke next to him.

He hadn't said anything to her about
how
they'd work out a life together. It had been a mistake. Weeks ago, he'd expressed his feelings too clearly to her; she had every reason to think he expected her to turn into a rancher's wife, the only travel being trips to Helena to shop for the items not available in Schuyler.

If Tara couldn't stay in Schuyler...well, he was a smart guy. He could find ways to make it work. Jackson and Kayla were managing. They spent a fair amount of their time in Seattle. Josh had thought his brother a fool to consider anything except an all-or-nothing proposition. But now he realized Jackson was a genius.

At 5:00 a.m. Josh drove to the grocery store; they had a decent flower selection and he chose a dozen yellow roses. At Tara's apartment building, he quietly laid them against her door.

The next day he got orchids.

The day after that, he found some beautiful Dutch irises.

She wouldn't talk to him, but one way or the other, he'd convince her that he wasn't going away. And if she left, he'd follow.

* * *

T
ARA
OPENED
HER
DOOR
three weeks after her dinner with Josh, hoping she wouldn't find another bouquet. But she also knew if there
weren't
any flowers, she'd be disappointed.

She found a sheaf of roses on the step—white, with the faintest blush of pink.

Her apartment was filled with flowers, various odds and ends serving as vases. Lauren thought it was great, though she'd refrained from pushing her sister too hard to make a decision.

Tara just wished she knew what she wanted.

She was a city woman, with a career and travel plans. But she couldn't deny the appeal of a home and family. That was what she could have in Schuyler, along with a husband she loved. Josh said he didn't want to keep repeating the same mistakes, but what did that mean in real life?

While she could work as a consultant via the internet, most of what she did couldn't be accomplished long distance. If Josh was serious and she married him, it would mean giving up everything except part-time jobs around Schuyler. It was a romantic ideal to sacrifice everything for love, but it was also terrifying. What if she did that and a relationship with Josh still fell apart?

Carefully she arranged the white roses in an empty pickle jar and put them on the coffee table. Curling up on the couch, she gazed at the blooms. They were beautiful, the bare blush of color reminding her of innocence. She couldn't remember ever feeling innocent, full of hope and expectation for the future.

The world had serious problems that needed to be fixed, but surely children should have as much carefree joy as possible. She'd want that for her own kids, if she ever had them.

Josh would want a family, and Tara had a feeling he'd be a good dad. And Walt would be around, too, making sure his great-grandchildren were raised right, along with grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins. They'd have everything she'd lacked growing up—an extended family that would shower them with love and attention.

Tara smiled. With so many McGregors and Nelsons around, a mother would have to fight for her children's independence, to keep their lives from being planned out the way Josh's had been. Though on reflection, there were worse things that could happen.

Before meeting Josh she'd figured children weren't part of her future. After all, what sort of mother could she be? She couldn't bear for her children to think they weren't loved the way they deserved.

Her cell phone rang. It was Josh, but she didn't answer, just as she hadn't answered the last two or three dozen times. After a while she listened to the message.

“Hey, it's me,” said Josh's strong voice. “I'll be around the ranch center all day. As I've mentioned before, I didn't say a lot of the things that need to be said. I'm not going away, Tara. I love you.”

Tara's finger hovered on the screen, but she didn't delete the message the way she'd deleted all the others, saving it instead. Hearing Josh say “I love you” made her knees go weak.

He was right. She
did
have the ability to love; it was her courage to do it that was in question.

She sat up and swung her feet to the floor. The scent of flowers was really getting to be too much, and the place looked like a flower shop.

It was time to sort things out with Josh, if only to keep from drowning in irises, roses and orchids. Besides, she wanted to see Walt.

A half hour later she experienced an odd sense of déjà vu as she turned off the main road and drove under the Boxing N sign. Or perhaps it was a sensation of homecoming, which was absurd. Pulling into the spot where she'd always parked gave her the same sense, and she almost left immediately. She wasn't going to be seduced by either sentiment
or
sentimentality.

She went to Josh's house and rapped firmly.

No answer.

Then she went to the large house and knocked.

Still no answer.

Wishing Josh had been at home so they could have met privately, she picked her way slowly to the foaling barn, then to the large barn where the dance had been held. From the outside she could hear voices, and one of them was definitely Walt's.

Inside, Josh and Walt were standing with their backs to the door, chatting, clearly on good terms. It was an amazing contrast to the days when she'd first come to the Boxing N.

Walt said something and Josh threw back his head, laughing.

Tara swallowed, unsure why a man laughing should get her by the throat.

* * *

J
OSH
HAD
NEVER
realized how well his grandfather could tell a joke. Actually, two months ago he would have sworn Grandpa didn't
know
any jokes.

All was going smoothly, except for the thing that mattered most of all—settling things with Tara. He'd delivered flowers to her door every day for three weeks and was prepared to keep it up as long as it took. If she left the country again, he'd follow her.

He was almost ready. He'd applied for a passport and hoped to get it soon. Once it came, he'd keep it in his pocket as a reminder that his horizons had expanded beyond the borders of the Boxing N.

He had something else in his pocket, as well.

Suddenly, his grandfather turned, and his face lit up.

Josh swiveled to see Tara standing just inside the barn door. She wore casual clothing, a sign she wasn't working that day. But he could tell nothing from her face.

Walt hurried forward. “Hey, Tara. I've missed seeing you every day.”

“Me, too, Walt.”

Josh just stood, drinking in the sight of her.

“Right now, I've got some phone calls to make,” Walt said, casting a knowing glance at his grandson. “You'll come up to the house later, won't you, Tara?”

“Sure. I still haven't seen the famous sapphires on the kitchen windowsill.”

Walt chuckled. “We're leaving them there as a reminder not to get too cocky.” He left the barn with just the bare suggestion of a limp.

“Let's take a walk,” Josh suggested when they were alone, aware that one of the ranch hands could appear at any moment.

“I... Sure.”

As they strolled toward a grove of trees, Josh decided to take Tara's hand in his. She didn't pull it away, and a small flicker of hope went through him.

Once they were out of sight among the trees, he whisked her close and did what he'd been dreaming of for weeks.

* * *

T
HE
SENSATION
OF
Josh's lips moving against hers threatened to dissolve any resistance Tara had left. She could hardly breathe and didn't want to; having his arms around her was the only thing that mattered.

After an endlessly pleasurable moment, Josh pulled back a fraction of an inch.

“Have you been thinking about it?” he asked hoarsely.

“Yes,” she managed to answer. “But I don't have an answer.”

Tara stepped away and began walking again. Josh fell in beside her.

“There's something I want to show you,” he said.

She knew that from the cryptic notes he'd left with each bouquet of flowers—“We can work it out,” “I have something important to show you,” “Our future is more than Montana” and the last saying simply, “Anywhere.”

Josh dug in his pocket, and Tara decided she'd slug him if he showed her a condom. Instead he handed her a photocopy of a passport application.

The air whooshed from her lungs.

“I've changed my ways,” Josh said. “I don't want a life bound by Boxing N property lines, no matter how many sapphires might be here. I know you don't want to stay in Schuyler full time, so I'll find a way to come with you part of the year. In fact, I'm not sure you should
try
staying. It's a big world out there, and I want to see it, too. Not learning from Grandpa's regrets would be a terrible waste, so no waiting for us. No putting off hopes and dreams and adventures.”

She stared. It was the last thing she'd expected him to say. An argument to convince her to remain in Schuyler, that she could find work here, that nothing was as important as love...
that's
what she'd expected. But she'd never thought he would leave Schuyler if she wouldn't stay.

“I was thinking, maybe it's possible for you to work here part of the time,” Josh continued. “When you need to be gone, I'll get a ranch manager to consult with the foreman. But even if you want to live on the ranch for extended periods, we'd still plan long trips every year, whether we have kids or not.”

“You want to have children?” Tara managed to ask.

“If you want them, too. I think we could make beautiful kids together. Besides, they'd be so lucky to have such a wonderful mother, they might not mind having a dolt for a dad.”

Tara choked back a laugh. She couldn't picture how the plan would work, and she didn't care. He was saying he would put her first, ahead of everything. It was an extraordinary promise and more than she'd ever expected. He meant it, too. Josh wanted to embrace a life that went beyond his ranch, and he wanted to live it with her.

She turned and surveyed the Boxing N land. As much as she had loved the many countries in which she had lived, she had also always wanted to have a place she could call home.

Josh slipped his arms around her, tugging her against his chest.

“This is the only home I care about,” he whispered, and her heart sank a moment. “For me, home is where you are.”

She looked up at him. She'd never thought of it before...that home didn't have to be a place. It could be a person. At the same time, she'd fallen in love with Montana, along with Josh. She loved him so much that the thought of going anywhere without him was unbearable.

* * *

J
OSH
RECOGNIZED
THE
conflict in Tara's face and knew what a huge leap of faith he was asking her to make.

“I believe we can do it,” he said. “And together, maybe we can get Grandpa to Italy after all.”

A small smile danced on her lips. “Surely you aren't talking about taking him along on a honeymoon...”

Hope beginning to bubble inside, Josh grinned. “Much as I love my grandfather, that isn't happening.”

He groped in his pocket and took out the small box he'd been carrying. “This was Grandma Evelyn's engagement ring. Grandpa said he had a feeling it would fit.”

Her quick intake of breath and the ragged way she let it out was a sign of the emotion she was always so reluctant to show. He didn't know how he could have thought she was cool and unemotional; she was the most caring person he'd ever known, even if she didn't show it well.

“I love you,” Josh whispered, slipping the ring onto her finger, “forever and forever.”

The ring fit perfectly, and the gold glittered in the sunlight, but the joy growing in Tara's eyes shone even brighter.

“Forever,” she agreed and kissed him.

* * * * *

Keep reading for an excerpt from PRINCE CHARMING WEARS A BADGE by Lisa Dyson.

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