“I am just now remembering,” she said, her voice low and rough.
“I am very sorry,” he said, and brushed an errant hair back from her face, tucking it behind her ear. His fingers seemed too big for the simple task. “’Twould be best to forget.”
A great shudder ran through her. “He was very angry. He wanted to hurt me.” She spoke to the fire, not to him.
Wanted.
A sudden jolt of happiness pierced through Nicholas. Finch had not ravished her then. “Ah, lass,” he spoke into her ear, “he is a bad one to be sure. You are safe now. ’Tis best not to dwell on’t.”
Even as the fire roared, she shivered. Then her shivers turned to sobs. Nicholas put a clumsy hand on her shoulder. Why was it he felt so comfortable evoking passion in a woman but so awkward giving solace?
She turned to him and threw her arms around his neck. He held her close as shudders wracked her small frame, and she clung to him with fierce desperation. Her bare breasts pressed against his chest through his linen shirt, awakening a physical need so strong he almost groaned aloud. He cursed inwardly and shifted to relieve the tightness in his breeches, while searching for chaste thoughts to fill his mind.
Katherine’s sobs eased, and she quieted. “I would die rather than marry him.” Raising a shaky hand, she looked into his eyes. Delicate fingers trailed along the stubble on his cheek.
Nicholas pulled back, fearing she could see the lust in his heart. But he could not look away. Her eyes glistened. Her lips parted, and she ran her tongue slowly over her bottom lip.
Katherine dragged her hands down his chest and grasped his shirt. “I would rather kiss you than anything else,” she said, her voice almost a whisper.
Nicholas’s good intentions melted away as she brought her lips to his.
It was a kiss of wild despair, a kiss of need. Artless. Passionate. What it lacked in artifice it more than made up for with intensity. His arms tightened around her, and he crushed her to him. The fire beside them sparked. Fever ran through his veins. He ran a hand over her curves as she clung to him.
A voice in his head said he should hold back, what had happened with Finch had muddled her senses, she could not know what she was doing and if he had any sense of honor, he would tell her. She was not some trollop he found in an inn, or an experienced lady at court who knew the game of love, but a simple country girl, grateful for her rescue. He’d taken her from her home, promised her safety but given her none. He’d teased her, taunted her, and tormented her with kisses; given her the first taste of arousal. He was a scoundrel and a knave.
And he’d just decided to treat her as a sister.
Nicholas sucked in a deep breath, hoping it would moderate his pounding heart and throbbing loins. “I am no hero.”
Her breath caught. She went still in his arms, looking up at him in surprise.
“I know you are grateful,” he said. “But it is not necessary to express it in this fashion.”
“I do feel gratitude, but I do not kiss you for it.” Katherine traced a finger along his ear, sending tender sensations all through him. Her eyes focused on the fastenings of his linen shirt. “I kiss you because it pleases me.” Her fingers trailed down from his ear to run feather-light over his lips and down his shirt to the fabric tie at the neck. “I should not have run away.” A light smile played upon her lips. “I was afraid of your kisses.” She tugged the knot apart exposing his chest, and put her hand inside his open shirt, onto his hot bare skin, settling over his heart.
The air sizzled between them. Nicholas’s chest burned where her hand rested. His heart throbbed almost painfully, as did his loins. He let out a long breath.
“I am not afraid anymore.” She looked into his eyes and smiled an innocent seductive smile that made his heart twist.
“Ah, lass, do you have any idea what you do to me?”
“I think it must be very like what you do to me.” She leaned forward, raising her lips to his. “Please do it some more.”
Nicholas groaned. He was a knave to be sure. She needed comfort, but she asked for passion. So he would give it to her.
He lowered his mouth until it met hers.
Heat ran through Katherine as Nicholas’s lips played with hers, alternately soft and demanding. Never had she wanted anything as much as she wanted to be with him, just like this.
She marveled at his many textures. The smooth firm muscles of his shoulders, the hard tendons in his neck, the softness of his lips and tongue, the roughness of his shirt as it brushed her tender nipples.
It seemed each moment since she first came upon him, had inevitably led to this one, this moment that would change the course of her life forever.
He buried his hands in her hair. She gasped as his lips left hers to trail over her chin and down her throat. Each tantalizing movement of his mouth sent shivers of heat surging through her.
Easing her from his lap to the floor, he settled beside her. His hair brushed across the tender skin of her breasts as his tongue traced the line of her collarbone, not tickling exactly but sending delicious thrills over her sensitive skin—thrills that grew as his mouth moved to cover her nipple. Her breath caught as he suckled on one breast while caressing the other. Her breasts thrust forward, aching, needing, seeking more. Little moaning sounds rose from her throat as waves of pleasure ran through her.
His mouth came up to hers. His teeth grazed her upper lip. He suckled on it as he drew up her skirt. Inch by agonizing inch, the hem rose, passing her ankles, her calves, and then her knees. The kiss deepened, became more urgent.
She felt the shock as his fingers touched the bare skin behind her knee and moved up the delicate skin inside her thighs. They slid under the satin fabric, moving in a slow torture until they reached the apex of her legs, touching her through the flimsy material of her drawers, in a place she’d never been touched before.
Katherine clamped her legs together.
“Do you wish me to stop?” Nicholas’s voice was thick and rough. He took his hand away.
Katherine let out her breath in a shudder, trying to ease the tension building inside her. She wanted him to continue, more than she had ever wanted anything.
She shook her head, and eased her thighs apart.
Nicholas put a hand on her knee and spoke, the words almost too loud after the music of their breathing. “A woman may feel pain the first time she joins with a man. I am sorry for it, and I will do my best not to hurt you.”
Katherine swallowed. “I trust you.”
Nicholas stroked her thigh and gave her an odd smile. “Do you now?”
He reached for her hips, and drew her to his body. The hardness at his groin pressed against her most sensitive place. His breeches did little to disguise its size and nature.
Could he possibly fit inside her? It probably
would
hurt. She frowned.
“You are sure, lass?”
Feeling shy, then bold, she hovered for a moment in indecision until the boldness won out. Katherine smiled. She would not run away this time.
Reaching up, she ran her fingers through the white streak in his hair, and then moved onto her side, facing him. She ran a stocking clad foot along his leg.
Nicholas groaned. His hand trailed up her thigh, to her waist. He untied her drawers, easing them down her hips, and bringing his hand to brush against the curls at her most intimate place.
Katherine’s breath caught.
He kissed her, lightly at first. As his tongue slipped into her mouth, his finger slid inside her.
She arched up against his hand, opening her legs to him, wider, wider. As he moved his finger in and out, slowly at first then faster, she moved with him. Her body burned in unspeakable places. A strange moaning rent the air. It was a moment before Katherine realized she was making the noise, like the woman at the inn.
The most pleasant thing a man and woman can do together.
And it was true. Pleasure she had never imagined rolled over her and built. She gasped and moaned, clutching at his arms, and his shoulders.
He moved her onto her back. Her breath caught as she felt his finger leave. He pulled her skirt up to her waist, removed her drawers, and moved his body between her legs. Loosening the laces of his breeches. His man’s part sprang free. Thick and full, he took the length in his hand, and positioned it where his finger had been.
Katherine held her breath as he pushed into the slick tight opening of her woman’s place, until she was stretched to a point beyond comfort. She looked to see his face screwed up in fierce concentration.
“Nicholas?” she gasped.
“Hmmm?” he groaned.
“You
are
hurting me.”
He stilled, bracing himself on his arms above her. “Do you wish me to stop?”
She saw regret in his eyes, but acceptance as well.
She shook her head. “No. I cannot but wonder, though, how much more could fit without tearing me apart.”
His eyes twinkled. “You will be amazed at what a good fit we will make, though there will be some pain when I break your maidenhead.” He went down on one arm, rolling her onto her side facing him, and started to play with her nipple, rubbing and tantalizing it into a hard pebble.
Katherine sucked in her breath and moaned as the tightness eased.
“There is naught to be done about it, lass.” Nicholas spoke into her ear. His breath, hot and sensual, sent chills through her.
Her muscles clutched his long male length, and then relaxed.
He exhaled a hot breath against the side of her neck and pushed into her, the penetration deepening, feeling strange but not uncomfortable.
“The pain will not last.” He kneaded her breast, teasing the nipple with his thumb, then ran his hand down her hip to her buttocks, holding her tight as he pressed into her. “I promise.” His voice was a husky whisper across her lips.
He kissed her. His tongue teased until she forgot everything but the feel of it as it danced with hers and the feel of his lips as they played upon hers with increasing urgency. His hand massaged her bottom and she felt herself stretch to accept him as he pushed deeper and deeper inside. She felt hopelessly full of him, yet a strange tension began to build where they joined, and she wiggled to ease it, a movement that allowed even more of him entry. Katherine moaned her pleasure, clutching at him, arching against the throbbing torment.
He moved her onto her back, holding his weight up on two arms. She could feel his strength restrained, hovering above her. Their eyes met as he pressed forward, stretching her to a point well beyond comfort.
Suddenly he thrust into her. Deep. Hard.
Katherine felt as if she were torn apart. She tried to hold in her cry, but could not. “No! It cannot be like this, there is no pleasure for me. You are too big. We do not fit.”
“Just this time, for this short while.” He grunted between clenched teeth, holding himself in place as she squirmed against him. He groaned.
She whimpered, but the pain was easing. Balancing on one arm, he reached between them and began to stroke and tease her most sensitive place, until she was slick and hot, and burning with need. Pleasure radiated to her fingers and her toes. As he began again to move his man’s part in and out of her, her muscles relaxed against his invasion. Tension coiled up inside her. She tightened her legs around him.
“That’s right,” he said. His hair fell about her. He moved his mouth over hers again.
She tasted coffee as his tongue pleasured hers. His smell filled her senses. His body rocked hers in an even rhythm, and an almost intolerable pleasure built within her. As he moved, she held him tight, mindless to anything but the extraordinary sensation growing within.
“Yes, lass,” Nicholas whispered in her ear. “Yes.”
His warm breath and the velvet timbre of his voice combined with the pressure building inside her. She tugged at his shirt until she had exposed his naked chest to her tender breasts. He lowered himself onto her and grasped her buttocks, pulling her to him until he was deep inside.
They moved together in a union of heated need and longing. He thrusted into her until she could bear it no longer. She writhed against him, crying out his name. As fierce pleasure pierced through her, she came undone. Nicholas held her as she whimpered her release.
Awareness came back slowly. Nicholas lay beside her, his man’s part still big and hard inside her. Her body ached and throbbed. Nicholas pressed gentle kisses along her brow.
She swallowed, and looked away, embarrassed. “Did it feel this good for you?” she asked.
“Not yet.”
“Yet?”
He nodded.
“There is more?”
Nicholas grinned. “Now it is my turn.” He rolled her onto her back again, and rose up above her. With almost painful slowness the full length of him filled her. Then he withdrew, leaving her empty.
She slid her hands along his back, the muscles hot and slick with sweat. Her arms traveled over his shoulders and the puckered scab from his bullet wound, and then down arms that rose like columns to each side of her, veins distended from the effort of holding his body aloft.
His face drew into intense concentration.
She wrapped her hands around his wrists, holding on as he thrust into her, deep and hard. The feeling of pressure, of being a tightly wound spring grew, replacing her lethargy. She thrust up to meet him. Just as she felt herself begin to shatter once more, he let out a groan. His face contorted as if in great pain. He jerked, as spasms ran through him, all the way to his man’s part.
Understanding flitted through her mind. It was not pain as she had ever known it, but the wrenching ecstasy of the deepest pleasure. Then their cries joined together, her completion all the sweeter this time for sharing his.
* * *
They lay together, her back to his front, faces to the fire, like two pieces of a puzzle. In spite of their difference in size, it was a perfect fit. Nicholas wished they could lie thus forever, basking in the afterglow, bodies sated, languid.
But his mind, filled with self-loathing and self-recrimination, would not let him fully enjoy the moment. In an endless chant it intoned:
what have I done?