The Rebel's Own (Crimson Romance) (7 page)

Kennedy refused to let herself intrude on her son’s privacy. According to her mother, Riley was five years old and not entitled to any privacy, and as
his
mother, it was Kennedy’s responsibility to stop him from doing what he had now become obsessed with. But Kennedy was scared. She couldn’t stare into her son’s little face and try to explain why what he was doing was wrong. She sat on the floor by his bedroom door and listened as he cried; her heart wrenched with each tear he shed.

Riley stood in front of his mirror with one of her hairbrushes. With each stroke, he lost a strand of hair, a tear rolled down his cheek, and a whimper escaped his lips. Kennedy tried to force herself to her feet, but she couldn’t. Watching him had paralyzed her. She was just as weak if not weaker than Riley. But unlike him, her weakness did not result from the poison rushing though his veins, but from the pain throbbing in her heart.

“You need to stop this madness, Kennedy.” Rebecca stood over her, anger and tears burning bright in her eyes.

Kennedy shrugged her shoulders and turned away when Rebecca marched into Riley’s room and grabbed the hairbrush from him. She heard him let out a piercing cry, and that was quickly followed by her mother’s sobs. Riley was asking why he was sick, why he was losing his hair, and why he was being punished. Rebecca, lost for words, could only cry. And the combined symphony of their pain was too much for Kennedy to bear.

Jumping to her feet she made her way to the front door. She needed to get out, to get away. More than anything, Kennedy needed to find a space in this world that didn’t involve pain, because in the past six years, pain was all she had come to know.

When Kennedy pulled the front door open, a pair of icy blue eyes and a furious scowl met her gaze. Anger emanated from Ryan’s whole body. Behind him, Matt stood, his eyes looking past her, the guilt evident in his expression. Kennedy didn’t know why she tried, but her first instinct was to shut the door. But the quarterback had more strength than she did. With his foot, he was able to block her attempt and with a powerful hand, he pushed her out of the way and marched into her tiny house.

“Where is he?” Ryan demanded.

“Where is who?” Kennedy’s pain was gone. She was relieved, but that was quickly replaced by anger.

“Where is my son?” Ryan barked.

“You don’t have a son,” Kennedy said firmly.

With one giant step, Ryan was suddenly an inch away from Kennedy. His hands balled into fists at his sides and his eyes held a storm waiting to be unleashed. “Don’t play with me. I know I have a son. I’m sorry about how he was conceived, but that doesn’t change the fact that I have a son.”

“Mommy?”

• • •

Ryan’s body turned towards the frail little voice. Immediately he shut his eyes, and for a second, he wished he hadn’t walked into her house, wished he hadn’t met her at the bar, and desperately wished he hadn’t taken part in that stupid game back in high school. His heart couldn’t bear the sight that stood in front of him. On the car ride over, Matt had told him Riley was sick, but he left out the part of how sick he was. Chancing a second look at his son, he slowly opened his eyes, but this time Riley was in his mother’s arms.

“What happened to his hair?” Ryan cautiously asked, part of him wishing that he hadn’t.

“It’s falling out.” Kennedy’s strangled reply seared through him. “Chemotherapy.”

For the first time since his unwelcomed entrance, Ryan looked at Kennedy. He studied her and noticed the droop in her shoulders, she looked thinner than the last time they were together, her eyes were puffy and red, and sadness loomed within them. He had only seen Riley for a second, and the shock had managed to knock the stuffing out of him. Kennedy had been here with Riley day and night, and Ryan could see the toll it was taking on her physically. He immediately regretted the anger with which he had entered her house. He was being a selfish brute.

“I think you should tell him who I am,” Ryan said in an almost whisper. When Kennedy shook her head in disagreement, he knew he needed to prove himself.

“I know who you are,” the little boy—
his son
—piped up. “You play for the Rebels. The Rebels are my favorite team.” Ryan appreciated the weak smile Riley had managed to give him.

“I do.” He took a step towards them but paused when Kennedy backed up. It tore at his heart that she didn’t want him near their son. “Please,” he mouthed to her. With a subtle nod, he took a confident step towards them.

Ryan stared into Riley’s face, immediately noticing the color of his eyes. They were his eyes. Riley was a miniature version of him, aside from the deep toffee color of his skin and the dark ringlets of hair.

His gaze darted up to lock on Kennedy’s. “You should have told me.”

“I tried—” she stopped and turned to the older woman who’d come to stand in the doorway. “Mama, please take Riley and give him something to eat.”

“No! I don’t want to eat anything.”

Ryan watched as Riley’s jaw trembled and a tear rolled down his cheek. He saw how Kennedy swallowed hard and how her fingers trembled as she wiped her stray tear. She forced a smile and kissed Riley’s cheek, “How about you have some Fruit Loops? Do you want to try that?” Riley nodded and willingly went with his grandmother but not before he gave Ryan a little wave.

“How bad is it?” Ryan asked, his eyes following Riley as he disappeared into another room.

“It’s the chemotherapy. It’s wearing him out.” Kennedy dropped onto the sofa and let out a breath that was quickly followed by sobs.

“I’ll just go sit in the car.” Matt, who’d been silent this whole time, excused himself.

Ryan waited till the door swung shut behind his friend and sank down next to Kennedy, reaching for her hand. Surprisingly, she let him take it. “I want to put him on my insurance. My lawyer says you will need to sign a few things to say that I’m his birth father. I also want the three of you to move in with me—”

“We don’t need all that.” Kennedy cut him off, jerking her hand away. “The insurance maybe, but I won’t have you appear and disappear from his life. He can’t handle that; I sure as hell couldn’t.”

Ryan winced at the accusation. Matt had told him about her suicide. If she had succeeded, he wouldn’t have a child. He’d never have known his son. “You are the mother of my son and possibly, we could be having a second child.” He paused, musing “You know, I found it odd that you never insisted on using protection.”

“That would have defeated the purpose, don’t you think?” Kennedy stared at him for a while before she finally asked, “We have survived this long without you. You can’t come here and take over.”

“I’m not trying to take over. You are a great mom,” he said in defeated tone. “I just want to be with my family.” Ryan paused, not sure what he wanted her answer to his next question to be. “Are you pregnant?”

“No.” She shook her head then said, more softly, “I don’t know.”

“Where were you going before we arrived?” Ryan had seen the look on her face when she opened the door, just before she had spotted him. He knew that look; she was running away.

“I don’t know. But I- I couldn’t take it anymore. He was pulling out his own hair and crying. I just—”

Ryan nodded in understanding. “I’m here now, and we are going to do this together. When does he need the bone marrow transplant?”

“In a few weeks, after they are done with the chemotherapy and maybe radiation. Why? If I’m pregnant, you don’t need to be involved, so why do you want to know?”

“Because I am going to be his donor.” Kennedy’s eyes widened and she stared at him in amazement. “A few weeks and we’ll be done with the season, too, so that’s good.”

Her face fell, her gaze narrowing instantly. “Do you care about anything apart from football and yourself?”

Ryan was about to give his own sharp retort, but he remembered what he had put her through. He was a grown up now though, with a child—or children—to look after. “Football is my job, and I can’t stop working. It’s looking like we’ll win the division championships, and if we can win the Super Bowl, there’ll be endorsement deals. We need the money to pay for his treatments and anything else he might need in the future. And then there is the new baby—”

“I don’t know if I’m pregnant,” she ground out. Kennedy was slowly losing it.

“Do you want to find out?” he asked. “We could go to the drugstore and get a pregnancy test.”

“I don’t think I could handle a negative result. Because if I’m not and you bail, what happens to Riley?”

Ryan opened his mouth to assure her he would never turn his back on Riley, or her, again. But he knew Kennedy probably wouldn’t trust anything he said at this moment. If the situation was different, and if they had time, he would work hard to prove he was worth having in their lives.

But they didn’t have time. His son was going to die if he didn’t step up and do the right thing here. He had to convince her that he could help. Correction: he had to convince her to
let
him help. But how? Only one crazy solution came to mind.

“Marry me.”

Kennedy’s eyebrows shot up, her mouth opening in shock.

“We can take a jet to Vegas and get married. That way you will have half of all my money, and the promise that I will always be here for you. For both of you.”

Ryan could see the uncertainty on her face. Hell, he was pretty uncertain himself. He didn’t know if they were compatible, or really, anything about her, but one thing he was sure of was the sexual chemistry between them. His lips came down on hers like a naked flame on gunpowder. Ryan felt her hesitate to respond at first, but soon Kennedy was kissing him back with urgency. He pulled away for a second and spoke with his lips against hers. “You wanted to run away, let me take you away for a while. We’ll run together.”

Ryan opened his eyes and found Kennedy watching him. She wasn’t giving in. His heart sank. It was ironic really; She was drawing the line at this, yet she’d have sex with him to produce another child.

That was it! The answer.

“Marry me, and I’ll make sure you get pregnant again,” he blurted. “We’ll have another baby. To help Riley.”

After a long minute, Kennedy finally gave a tiny, hesitant nod. Ryan wasn’t about to let the moment get past him. Instead, he pulled Kennedy to her feet and they ran out of the apartment together.

They found a curious and stunned Matt in the car. But with a wave of the hand, he seemed to understand. Matt handed Ryan the keys to his car and climbed out, and a few seconds later, they were on their way.

• • •

Seven hours later, Kennedy hung up the phone. It had just taken her ten minutes to convince herself and her mother that marrying Ryan was the right decision, For Riley’s sake. Rebecca hadn’t been amused that her daughter had taken off for Vegas without even a word. But Riley, the ever-positive light in her life, was excited about having a Rebel as a father. At least her decision had managed to make one person happy.

She sat in the back pew of the Elvis chapel with Ryan at her side. It was just the two of them. They were about to make a decision that would change their lives forever. She laughed at herself, her plans were finally materializing. Her high school self had planned on marrying Ryan, on having kids with him. Here she was with her plans coming true one after the other.

When it was their turn, they walked hand in hand to the front of the pew. They looked like they were headed to the hangman’s noose. They repeated the vows as Elvis told them to, signed their names on the marriage certificate, and walked away without even the kissing part of the wedding fulfilled.

They were back in their suite when Ryan approached her with the pregnancy test. Kennedy wouldn’t take it; she couldn’t. Inside she felt weak, and was terrified that she wasn’t pregnant. But Ryan seemed to be more scared than she was. Of course she had done the whole baby thing before, but for him it was new. So instead of fighting with him, she took the test. She even let Ryan hover outside the bathroom door as she did it.

She didn’t leave the safe confines of the bathroom until she got the results. Ryan was sitting on her bed, his face wet, his eyes red as tears rolled down his cheeks. He nervously twiddled with his thumbs then asked, “Are we pregnant?”

We.
That was something Kennedy didn’t expect to be with Ryan Carville. But now she was Mrs. Carville and she had a husband and a family. “Yes, we are pregnant.”

Then Kennedy saw a sight that she never thought she would see from Ryan Carville. Ryan broke down, his shoulders shaking violently as he cried. Was he happy? That was answered when Ryan pulled her into his arms whispering to her belly. He was going to be a great husband and father.

Too bad Kennedy had no intention of giving him that chance.

It had been two weeks since Ryan’s life had changed overnight. Now he had a wife, a son, and a baby on the way, as well as a new home to get used to.

Also, for the first time in his career, he had invited the press into his life. Matt and his publicist had advised him to do so to get ahead of the tabloids, and while Ryan was happy to claim his son, it was Kennedy’s reaction that he was worried about. When she didn’t say a word in protest, he was relieved. Part of him thought it was a sign that she was willing to give them a chance.

Ryan forced his worn-out body out of bed. He could hear Riley and Kennedy in the next room. Something was definitely wrong. Between the intense football training and Riley’s care, Ryan quickly figured out his body wasn’t built as strong as he thought it was. He padded on heavy feet towards Riley’s room and found Kennedy already changing the boy into a new set of pajamas. He watched as his son looked at his mother, his eyes empty, exhaustion scrawled on each and every one of his small features.

They had cut Riley’s hair. Ryan couldn’t take a second more of watching it fall out as Riley brushed it. His decision to take his son to the barbershop was the reason for his and Kennedy’s first argument. Riley had thrown a tantrum, but Ryan didn’t believe in letting a five-year-old decide what was important. He almost gave in when Riley was finally in the barber’s chair, but when he also shaved his head the next day, it had earned him points with both son and mother.