The Reef (52 page)

‘I'll decide what I think, thank you very much.'

‘Mum, you're just worried about me, that's all.'
And you're jealous of Isobel, you poor, insecure woman.
‘Look, I'm going to be fine without Blair. Things are different than in your day.'

Isobel stepped closer, smiling, placating. ‘And look what a good job you did. You raised Jenny on your own.'

At this Christina exploded. ‘Because I
had
to! Her father was no good. He just abandoned us. After everything that had happened, he ran away
and faked his death . . . and I'm the one who had to struggle on, pick up the pieces, and what credit do
I
get?'

‘Wait, wait, stop. What do you mean, Dad faked his death? He drowned, out fishing . . .' Jennifer's face was white and she took a step closer to her mother.

Christina backed away, her face frightened.

Jennifer swung to Isobel. ‘What's she saying, Isobel? Make her tell me.'

Christina turned her back, her shoulders shaking.

It was obvious to Isobel that this shocking family secret was a revelation to Jennifer. ‘This is the moment to tell your daughter the truth, Christina. It will be better, for you and her, if you do. Jennifer loves you, no matter what,' said Isobel gently.

Christina spun around, her eyes fiery. ‘What would you know about my daughter and me? What do you know about the pain and suffering, the struggle, I've had? All these years knowing . . .'

‘Knowing what, Mum?' Jennifer's voice was cold. She couldn't forgive her mother for keeping from her this secret. ‘What happened to my father?' she shouted.

Christina seemed to shrivel. She twisted her hands together. ‘He ran away. Staged the whole drowning thing. Pretended he'd gone fishing and disappeared.'

‘How do you know? Just because they never found his body' Jennifer couldn't bear to think he
was out there, living somewhere she could have found him. ‘
Where is be?
' she shouted.

‘I have no idea.'

‘Did he try to contact Jennifer?' asked Isobel quietly.

‘After some years. After I'd been to hell and back trying to make ends meet. Feeling guilty that he'd killed himself. I lost a son, too, you know,' she snapped at Isobel.

‘Mum, why didn't you tell me?' Jennifer was bewildered.

‘That he had done such a terrible thing? Been such a coward? All very well saying he was sorry and he wasn't coming back, but tell her I'm all right and I'll see her one day. What good is that?'

‘One day? When? Where did he go?' cried Jennifer. ‘How come he let us suffer so much? How could he do it? Why? What did he say to you before he went? Did you have a fight? What?'
He was running away from you! Not me.

‘Don't you dare blame me, Jennifer. How do you think I felt losing darling Teddy? It was your father's fault. He should never have let you go on those rocks.'

‘Mum, how do you think he must have felt? He blamed himself too!'

‘So Christina, you had no support, no money and no life as long as he was out there somewhere. Did you know where he was? He didn't tell you how to reach him?' asked Isobel, incredulously. ‘Did he have any money?'

‘Of course not. I don't care how he managed.
We had a useless farm, he wasn't much good at anything. He just made my life miserable, but was I going to go to the police? No. The shame of it. They wouldn't find him and what was I going to do? Force him to come back and look after us? Make him love us?' Christina shook her head. ‘No, it was better to think he was dead. To me, he was.'

‘But what about me, Mum? All the years I wanted a father, needed him. He's Bella's grandfather, for God's sake!'

‘He doesn't deserve to be.' Tears streamed down Christina's face. ‘I was the one who raised you, looked after you, made a home and a life for you. I tried so hard . . .' She began weeping, her face in her hands.

Isobel signalled Jennifer to go to her. But for a moment Jennifer couldn't move. Anger, hurt, frustration welled in her at the overwhelming knowledge her father was probably still alive. All the years they'd lost.

Isobel's voice broke into her thoughts. ‘Jenny, think if it had been you. Remember back to how it was for your mother . . . maybe you would do things differently. But she did what she thought was best . . . for you.'

Jennifer held her mother and they both cried. Then Bella whimpered and Jennifer broke away to take her baby in her arms. She looked down at the small child with trembling mouth and trusting eyes. There would never be secrets between them. Silently she pledged always to be honest with her daughter.

‘I'm sorry, Jen-Jen,' whispered Christina as she found a tissue and dabbed at her eyes. ‘You go now. I'll be all right.'

Jennifer heard the edge of self-pity in her mother's voice, it had always been there and always would be.
I'm not staying, Mum. I will love you and share my daughter and my life with you. But I'm leading my life my way.

‘I'm going to the island, Mum. It's your decision whether you come over or not. Whatever you decide, we won't love you any less. You call me tomorrow and let me know.' Jennifer fled.

Isobel pulled the car up at the wharf and they sat looking at the water and the activity as Jennifer fed the baby.

‘What are you going to do? About your father.' asked Isobel quietly.

‘I don't know. I'm in shock.'

‘It was a foolish, awful thing to do. But think of the pain he's lived with all these years.'

Jennifer looked at Isobel. ‘Do you think so? Or did he move on, have another family and never wonder about me. That's what's so hurtful. Did he ever remember my birthday, wonder how I did at school, what became of me?'

‘I think if he did try to contact you early on Christina would have fobbed him off. She wanted you all to herself. She knew he was alive and perhaps that's a reason she's never thought of remarrying. It's her way of paying him back. To punish him. He sounds a weak, soft kind of man. He wouldn't have fought Christina,' said Isobel.

‘He knows Mum would have poisoned me against him. She's never made me feel proud of him, ever. But I remember good times. I loved him, Isobel. He was my father. And now I feel like hating him for this. I wish he
was
dead.' The tears came again, splashing onto Bella's soft hair. ‘He probably has another family and forgot Mum and me.'

‘In your heart you never forget your child. Come on, Bob is waiting to fly you back.' Isobel started the car, her heart aching for Jennifer. At some stage Jennifer would need to address this issue. She might have half siblings, another family somewhere. A family who might not know this history. It was not fair to deny Bella the chance to know her paternal connections. Poor Jennifer. Poor Christina. For a moment Isobel felt guilty that it was she who'd inadvertently pushed Christina into spilling her secret. But she hoped that now it was out in the open Jennifer and Christina would come to a better understanding of each other. She was happy Jennifer had asked her always be close to them and able to help and watch over Jennifer and her beautiful Bella.

I
T WAS DAWN.
D
OORWAY
to the day. It was a time Jennifer cherished on her morning walk. It reminded her of a watercolour painting, all soft, runny colours. But now she shared it with Bella. Snug in her piccaninny pack on her mother's back she cooed and sucked her fingers.

This bright morning Jennifer went through the pisonia trees, scattering noddy terns and seagulls and a swooping grey heron that appeared to delight Bella. Past Coral Point she saw a figure sitting in the lee of the wind, looking to sea. Poor old Patch, he still kept his distance but he seemed to have recovered from the blaze of publicity he'd triggered over the revelations in the press about Willsy. Rhonda had
bravely told what happened, including being paid not to speak out.

It was just one of the stories to come out of the exposure of the wildlife being smuggled out of the country and sold for drugs to an international syndicate with the help of various officials. Branch Island, described as the sleepy island with a small and exclusive resort, had been the focus of major media though implications that the owners of the resort in the UK were involved in the illegal operations had been hosed down. Nevertheless, Gordon and his father were no longer part of the company. The chairman's desire to add to his private zoo was a bit too hot for comfort. Investigations and charges were still pending as legal teams, police and officials circled.

The positive stories had dominated – Mac's team at the research station and their work to save the Great Barrier Reef. Isobel and Gideon's film had caught everyone's imagination as to what beauty and mystery there was in the deep ocean, and the need to research it responsibly. Rudi's work had expanded into medical and energy sources, and he had gained an adjunct position with the university as well as working for a large non-government corporation to advance his research.

But for Jennifer it was past history. She had her future to think about. And now so many options were open to her. She was undecided about tracing her father. She put the idea on the back burner.

She could smell the coffee as she passed the
goat tethered in its patch. ‘You're the only goat allowed to live in a National Park, I reckon,' she said. ‘Maybe we should go back to Cookshead and rescue that poor old emu to keep you company. What do you think, Bella?'

‘Good morning, ladies. How is my goddaughter this fine morning?' Gideon lifted Bella up and hugged her.

‘Morning, Gideon. Ah, we have company. Mac, you're up early.' Jennifer sat down and stretched her legs.

‘Planning the day, taking time out before the invasion,' he smiled.

‘It's going to be quite a celebration, isn't it? I still can't believe I've done it. First-class honours, a scholarship, two job offers.' Jennifer shook her head. ‘Who says sitting on an island is a cop-out? I've never worked so hard in all my life.'

‘You deserve it. You can work with Isobel, take up a position with our university, or continue to write and research. Now the whole world wants to read that book you and Tony did together.'

‘Yeah, well, I hadn't quite anticipated the end turning into a thriller,' she laughed, then said softly, ‘I couldn't have done it without you, Mac.'

‘Yes, you could've. You just needed someone to crack the whip occasionally. I think Bella's fairy godmother helped too.'

‘Isobel? She sure did. I can't wait to see her. She says she's bringing back a pile of presents from Brazil . . . she spoils Bella dreadfully.'

‘Rosie is going overboard with the wedding for Lloyd and Carmel. Her family are all coming. We're being overrun by South Americans!'

‘Tony offered to take photographs. He'll be busy. Did you see the gorgeous photos of Bella he took?'

‘I did. That man has a sensitive eye, all right,' said Mac.

Gideon joined them, handing around mugs of coffee. ‘And a good eye for boats. We've finally found one that suits him. A small schooner with a romantic South Seas history. He's sailing it over for the festivities.'

‘Is that what you've been up to? I wondered where you went,' grinned Jennifer. ‘How exciting. He misses using Lloyd's boat.'

‘Well, Lloyd and Carmel are going off in it on their honeymoon. Not telling anyone where.'

‘And will there be a toast to our successful new PhD candidate during all this partying?' Gideon lifted his mug. ‘To you, Jennifer.'

They clinked mugs and looked at Bella on the rug at their feet, happily sucking a sandy finger. ‘And to baby Bella.'

The last of the flowers, scattered over the water as the honeymooners sailed away, had drifted to other shores or fluttered onto drifts of seaweed and coral below. The wedding visitors had left. Families had come together and gone their separate ways. Blair had marvelled at his exquisite
daughter and returned to Switzerland. Jennifer had agreed to bring Bella to see him.

Christina had never visited the island but with Vi and Don back in Sydney she was planning trips ‘down south'. Still she couldn't be away too long from her adored granddaughter. Tourists were settling into the tranquil rhythm of Branch Island. The birds and turtles continued their cycle of life on this particular part of the reef.

Mac had new students gathered in his cottage to hear Isobel give an impassioned talk about her work. They listened transfixed, taking no notice of the baby, who played with a toy on the rug on the floor.

Tony ran his hands along the bow of the old white schooner. ‘
White Lady,
she's got quite a history. She's led a colourful life. I feel privileged to own her.'

‘Treat her with respect and she'll give you years of pleasure and loyal service,' said Gideon. ‘A coat of paint and a touch-up here and there is in order too.'

‘I'm thinking of asking Jen to write the story of
White Lady
as a book. In between everything else she has going!' Tony laughed.

‘And it's a reason to . . . what's the word . . . collaborate?' said Gideon, lifting a quizzical eyebrow.

‘Indeed, wise man that you are. Jen and Bella are very special to me.'

‘When you feel the time is right, tell her so,' said Gideon softly. ‘You'll know when.'

‘Your island has been good to us,' said Tony. ‘It's changed us, given us all a new way forward.'

Gideon was thoughtful. ‘Sometimes you need time to sit on an island and reflect on what is important, where your life is going. I made my choice a long time ago.'

Tony looked across the aqua lagoon, past the white curl of the breakers on the reef to the silken dark blue sea. ‘It's just a matter of charting a way through the reef into calm waters, isn't it?'

‘Ah,' sighed the old man. ‘We need those reefs in our life. And this is the beginning of what we're finding.'

Deeper and deeper still she glided through the translucent water. Clouds of curious neoncoloured fish swarmed before her face. A rose and yellow coral wall slid down to greener depths. Lazily, an enormous yellow-spotted blue Maori wrasse cruised past, its massive mouth closed in a benign expression. Manta rays performing their own ballet sailed above her. In the underwater forest she was dwarfed, threading her way through the fleshy waving tangle of seaweed arms reaching to sunlight.

In a stretch of clear water she felt she was flying through the sky. A flick and a shark was there, and gone, minding its own business.

Across the seagrass meadows of waving gold, to a ledge where anemones clung with the soft corals protecting their beautiful but poisonous residents, a starry reef eel slithered and a fat red emperor held its mouth open for cleaner fish to dart in and clean its mouth and teeth. The tiny blue fish swimming in and out of the predatory jaws had read the signals: they were safe until their job was done.

And in the shimmery distant water, did she glimpse for a moment or two the soft human shapes of a boy and girl? Holding hands, swimming together, at home and at peace in the warm kind waters of the reef and its world. So different from the turbulent coastal seas and a rocky ledge where waves had snatched a family's joy, children's dreams and a mother's hope.

Upwards, bubbles hissing from a breath, she broke through the surface. A hand reached down and helped her swing onto the ladder, and she pulled herself up as water streamed off her red wetsuit and silver airtanks. Jennifer pushed her mask back on her head, took out her mouthpiece and snapped the straps as Tony lifted the tanks from her back.

‘Was it bella, bella?' he asked gently.

‘Very. I never believed I would be able to experience, to really feel part of that world . . . down there.' She dropped her flippers on the deck and gazed down into the water. ‘I'll keep doing this. But right now, at this moment, I feel a chapter has come to an end.'

Tony leaned over and kissed her salty wet lips. ‘There will be plenty of time to begin other stories.'

It lay dead and white in the palm of her hand. The ancient shell she'd found in her father's field one day. Jennifer picked her way across the reef flat to the rim of deep water. The tide would soon turn back towards the island. She drew a breath and fell forward into the startling blue, kicking down, her arms pulling her towards the rocky ledge she'd seen from the surface. She saw a clump of pink branching coral nestled in the arms of seagrass and so she placed the fossil between them. As she thrust her body back to the surface she liked to think the limestone that had frozen the small shell in time would re-form, that grains of coral sand would support the tiny creatures in rebuilding, continuing the reef's cycle of life.

Her head rose from the crystal water. The sun was shining.

THE END