Authors: A. L. Jackson
“What a creep,” I muttered under my breath.
It was a comment Natalie must have heard, because she continued. “Oh, it gets worse. I was loading the groceries into the trunk of the car, and when I turned around, he was
right
there, just standing there and staring at her. I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in my life. I grabbed Lizzie, threw her in the car, and took off.” She cringed, adding regretfully, “I lost one of Lizzie’s favorite shoes, but I wasn’t about to take the time to stop and get it.”
I shrugged. “Don’t worry about it, we’ll replace it,” I said, just grateful my cousin had been so cautious with Lizzie. The whole thing had probably been harmless, but when it came to my daughter, safe was always better than sorry. I would much rather Natalie overreact than be complacent. It was one of the reasons I trusted her with Lizzie’s care.
I went back to putting away groceries, glancing between what I was doing and Natalie. I could see she was still shaken and questioning herself. “You did the right thing, Natalie. We’ll just keep an eye out, and if we notice anything else strange, we’ll report it, okay?” Hoping to calm her down, I reached out and hugged her.
Natalie nodded against my shoulder as her tension visibly dissipated. “Okay.”
When she pulled away, I squeezed her hand in a show of support, before I turned and grabbed a couple of boxes from a bag. “So, can you describe him?”
A little more collected, Natalie leaned her back against the counter. “Well, yeah, I don’t think I could forget him. He definitely wasn’t someone who would typically make me nervous. I mean, he was wearing a business suit . . . a nice business suit . . . like you could tell he had money.”
I frowned, rearranging the image I’d had in my head, because a man in a business suit definitely wasn’t what I’d pictured.
“He was tall and pretty thin, but I don’t know, muscular at the same time?” Natalie used her hands to demonstrate about how big she thought the man had been. “He was probably about your age, and really, really good looking.”
The more Natalie described him, the more I began to think she had exaggerated the whole thing. Her depiction sounded more like most women’s vision of their dream guy than some creepy stalker.
“He had black hair . . . and his eyes . . . he had the most striking eyes; they were an intense blue.”
I gasped, dropping the boxes I was holding as I clapped my hands over my mouth to absorb the cry that broke loose.
Oh God, please no.
Natalie jumped back, looking shocked by my sudden change in demeanor, her eyes following mine that locked on Lizzie. The little girl looked up and smiled widely when she noticed the two of us staring at her, her sparkling eyes filled with mirth, totally unaware of anything amiss.
“Oh my God,” Natalie murmured quietly when it all snapped into place.
~
I tossed uncomfortably in bed, unable to escape the fear that had followed me into a night of restless sleep. I dreamt of him again and again, sometimes finding myself wrapped in the tenderness of his arms and other times met with the harshness of
the last words he had spoken to me. I didn’t know which was worse.
When I couldn’t bear to see his blue eyes in my dreams any longer, I rose and crept down the hall to Lizzie’s room. Her door sat partially open, just enough for the dim hall light to stream in, basking her room in a soft glow.
I leaned against the doorjamb, gazing at my daughter and wondering how any creature could be so beautiful.
She faced me, one cheek pressed into the pillow as she slept on her side, her hair strewn out behind her. She clung to her favorite blanket, the plain pink one with satin trim. It was pulled against her chest, her tiny hand fisted in the material.
Never had I felt so helpless. I would do anything to protect my daughter, but really, I didn’t know if there was anything to protect her from.
Even if the man
had
been Christian, what made me think that he would try to take Lizzie from me now? He’d made it clear he wanted nothing to do with the child, and I was sure a chance meeting was not going to change that.
Still, I couldn’t help but feel threatened by the thought of him being here, in my city. Standing silently in my daughter’s doorway, I promised myself that no matter what happened, I would never allow him to destroy my family, whether he came today or in ten years. Never would I allow Christian the chance to hurt Lizzie the way he’d hurt me.
~
By the time I made it to work the next morning, the rational side of me had discredited the possibility that the man at the store had been Christian, even though somehow in my heart I knew it was. I told myself he wasn’t the only black-haired, blue-eyed man in the world, and that Christian was probably over two thousand miles away, by now a big-shot lawyer in his father’s firm.
I forged through work, thankful it was Friday and that I had the entire weekend with Lizzie. I’d planned a trip to the beach, something that had become somewhat of a tradition for us. I’d loved it when I was a child. Some of my best memories came from the endless days I’d spent playing in the sand with my sisters, and I wanted to provide my daughter those same experiences.
The house was empty when I got home. Matthew had the day off, so he and Natalie had taken Lizzie to the zoo and said they wouldn’t be home until around six. It gave me a chance to pick up around the house, tossing the toys from the floor into the toy box against the wall and straightening the kitchen, chores that always seemed to get neglected during the week.
Just as I turned the dial to start the dishwasher, the doorbell rang five times in a row. Grinning, I headed to the front door, knowing there was only one person who could be so impatient. I swung it open.
“Lizzie!” I sang, leaning down to my daughter’s level so I could hug her, peppering her face with noisy kisses.
“Hi, Momma. Look what Uncle Maffew got me.” Lizzie proudly held up a small stuffed giraffe.
“Oh, how cute. That was so nice of him.” Matthew ambled up the sidewalk and I smiled widely at him as I rose, giving my unvoiced appreciation. He never failed to make my daughter feel special.
“Hey, Liz.” Matthew leaned in to peck me on the cheek as he walked through the door, followed by Natalie who stopped for a hug.
“Hey, guys. Thanks for taking Lizzie. It looks like she had a blast.” I glanced between the couple and Lizzie who was on her knees on the floor digging out the toys I had just put away, muttering about her matching stuffed elephant.
Matthew took the baseball cap off his head and ruffled his hand through his short brown hair. “No problem. We had a great time, didn’t we, Lizzie?”
“Yep!” she agreed from her spot on the floor.
“You guys feel like staying for dinner? I’m making lasagna.”
Matthew glanced at Natalie and then shook his head apologetically. “Sorry, Liz, but we planned a date night.”
I tried unsuccessfully to hide the disappointment that flushed my face. “Oh, okay.”
Matthew imparted a sad smile. It was one I knew well, one that told me it was okay to move on and that I didn’t have to be alone. While I appreciated the sentiment, it was something I would give no consideration. The only relationship after Matthew I’d attempted had ended in near disaster, and I’d accepted that I would never love again. That knowledge rendered dating senseless. I’d only be wasting precious time that could be spent with my daughter.
Pretending not to notice the silent conversation Matthew attempted to have with me, I called to Lizzie to come and tell them goodbye. We followed Matthew and Natalie out to their car, Lizzie giving hugs and kisses for the weekend away. I hugged them both, whispering my thanks. They both assured me, once again, that they should be the ones to thank me.
Standing at the edge of the road in the driveway, Lizzie and I waved and watched them drive away. I glanced down at Lizzie who was hugging my leg and grinning up at me. She was just so precious. Lovingly, I ran my hand through my daughter’s hair, my toothy smile matching hers. “Are you hungry, princess?”
Lizzie nodded against my hand when I moved it to cup her cheek, her smile evident where it was pressed against my
palm. Breathing deeply, I savored the emotion that traveled between us, only to go rigid when I heard a voice I could never forget calling out my name.
“Elizabeth?”
Chapter Three
Seven point three miles.
I stared unblinking at the screen as I turned the number over in my head.
Elizabeth Ayers lived seven point three miles away.
My finger shook as I traced the line on the map, the fantasy of my child living near becoming a firm reality. My chest filled with the same emotions of adoration I’d felt earlier when I’d first seen the child as I allowed my mind to wander with possibilities, possibilities of knowing her, of loving her—of being her father. I wanted desperately to fill that position. And I knew she wanted me too.
At the same time, I was terrified of seeing Elizabeth again. The thought of her in another man’s arms was almost unbearable, made worse by knowing I had forced her there. But greater than all of that would be standing in front of her with the shame I bore. I knew I deserved nothing of them, deserved to play no part in their lives, but whether I deserved it or not, I could not turn away. The child’s face was burned in my mind.
~
Work passed much too slowly. I spent the day trying to focus on the things I had to finish, but my mind continually strayed to a little girl with black hair and blue eyes. The moment my last meeting of the day adjourned, I was on my feet and heading out the door, dodging the inevitable interference of employees with need for direction. On any other day, I wouldn’t have minded, but today was different. I quickly excused myself from each conversation with little more than a word and hurried to the elevators to the parking garage below.
Entering the address I had memorized the night before into my GPS, I set out to find my daughter. Each beat of my heart pounded harder the closer I got. By the time I turned onto the narrow street lined with small houses, I could hardly breathe. The ability left me altogether when I came upon the address.
Standing in the driveway was
my daughter
in Matthew’s arms, the same child I had fallen in love with the day before. She was hugging him fiercely. I was overcome with jealousy and loss as I watched the scene in front of me. I fought those emotions, reminding myself that this was my fault. Quickly, though, my jealousy became confusion as I watched Matthew set the child down and pull Elizabeth into a hug before placing an unassuming kiss against her cheek. That confusion only grew when Matthew turned to the same woman from yesterday, took her hand, and led her to his car.
Quickly, I pulled to the curb across the street, making sure the two cars parked on the road obstructed the view of my car.
I sat perplexed as I witnessed Matthew lean across the console of his car and kiss the girl after she sat down in the passenger seat. The kiss was not obscene, but clearly one shared between lovers. Then the two drove away and left me struggling to make sense of what I had just seen.
My heart sank as shock shifted to realization. I shook my head, biting the inside of my mouth and drawing blood. “No.” I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself to just breathe before I passed out.
Matthew was not with Elizabeth. I slammed my fist down against my leg, my head filled with accusations as I silently cursed myself for being so incredibly stupid. He was supposed to be
with
her,
loving
her,
caring
for her. I literally felt sick with the hatred that coursed through me, that judgment directed only at myself.
Opening my eyes, I looked back toward the driveway. A lump formed in my throat when I gazed at Elizabeth. She was so beautiful—too beautiful. My body burned for the one woman I had ever loved. Why had I ever been so stupid, so selfish? As if anything could have been more important than she was.
Elizabeth stroked her hand through our daughter’s hair, the love apparent in the gentle expression her face as she touched the child’s cheek. I could wait no longer. I stepped from my car and called to her from across the street.
Chapter Four
“Elizabeth.”
A chill ran down my spine as his voice penetrated my ears, seeping through my body. The sound came like warmth rushing through my veins, leaving a shock of cold as it passed. My head snapped up, meeting his face, his blue eyes intense, emotion pouring from them as he looked from Lizzie to me. It was all I could do to keep from falling to the ground as I felt the world I had built come crashing down around me.
Lizzie’s words were barely distinguishable as she tugged on my arm, attempting to get my attention. “Momma, it’s the nice man.” All I could think about was that Christian had returned, here to squash the last piece of my heart. With one hand, I clutched my stomach that twisted in knots, the other pressed over my mouth to cover the cry rattling around in my throat. I found myself unable to look away as I stared at Christian through hot, angry tears. Surely he could see it on my face and in my eyes, the love for him I still held there like some foolish girl awaiting the return of her long lost lover. It enraged me that he still had that kind of control over me. But this was not
about my broken heart. This was about the little girl pulling on my arm, trying once again to get my attention.
I had to protect her. “Lizzie, go inside.”
When I spoke, Christian turned his attention from me and gazed down at Lizzie with adoration. Why was he looking at her like that? Like she meant
everything
. With eyes alight, Lizzie stared up at him, grinning as if any second she would run across the street and into his arms.
I could not let this happen.
“Lizzie . . . go inside, now.”
“But, Momma . . .”
“Now!” I cringed, hating the way I sounded, especially because it was directed at my daughter. The look on Lizzie’s face tore me apart, the confusion at being yelled at when she had done nothing wrong. Tears fell down her chubby cheeks, and she hesitated a moment longer, looking one more time at Christian, before running into the house.