The Reluctant Bride (Montana Born Brides) (5 page)

“
I do. I read your profile in the online version of the
Copper Mountain Courier
,” he said. “You mention your fiancé, but not my name.”

“
Well, I wasn’t sure--”

“
That part I figured out. Where do we go from here?” he asked.

“
Where do you want to go? I would like a chance to really get to know each other. I don’t even know how long you’re back for,” she said.

“
For good,” he said. “The military is downsizing and I’ve signed up for the Reserves, but I’m also looking for another job. Maybe consulting.”

Consulting.
That wasn’t dangerous and it sounded like a job he could stay in one place and do. She wanted to know more but she was freezing. Her designer heels were gorgeous but not exactly made for standing outside on a cold spring evening.

“
I want to hear all about it. Want to have lunch together tomorrow?” she asked. “Talk this out some more.”

“
Okay,” he said. “Where at?”

“
The Main Street Diner?” she asked. It was close to her shop, and public. So she wouldn’t be tempted to jump across the table and rip his clothes off, or anything. Though, right now, that was all she wanted. She wanted to be in his arms where it was warm—no, that was why she’d left. She had to stand on her own if she was going to be strong enough to stand by his side.

Monty might not mind riding to the rescue, but she knew he deserved a partner who was strong enough to handle life on her own.

“If that’s what you want,” he said.

“
Why are you being so accommodating?” she asked.

“
You’re kind of in the driver’s seat. You told me you needed time and I’m going to give it to you,” he said, shoving his hands into the pocket of his coat and then walking toward his truck.

“
Why?”

“
So I can figure out if I want you back because you hurt my pride, or if I want you back because you’re you.”

He got into his truck and she stood there for a minute, just staring over at him.
Damn him. She hadn’t even considered the fact that he might not want to marry her. It was stupid, she knew that. But really, once she’d made up her mind, she’d just sort of assumed that Monty would be waiting for her.

Monty got in the cab of his truck and adjusted himself because, despite the cold and his anger, he was still turned on.
There was a part of him that felt like now that he’d found her, she was still his wildest dream come true. But he knew she wasn’t.

She was confused and unsure, and he wanted to push her and take advantage of it.
Hell, why shouldn’t he? She’d already agreed to be his wife and now she had cold feet. But he wasn’t that kind of guy. He’d seen what happened to a marriage when a woman felt trapped in it. And he wanted no part of repeating his parents’ mistakes.

Hell, he
’d made enough of his own without reliving any of theirs.

So he sat there until he saw her get in her car and turn it on.
She signaled and carefully pulled off the shoulder and onto the highway. He followed her. In the silence of his cab, he heard her voice and all the soft things she’d said in her car. How she wasn’t sure if she could stand on her own.

He got that.
He wanted to be the kind of man who could step back and let her find herself. Except he was lost and he’d been counting on her to be his salvation. And, right now, he knew she couldn’t be.

He wanted—needed to talk to her about Lane.
And the overwhelming guilt that was riding him like a monkey every waking hour of the day. How, because of her, he’d come to the one place he’d hoped to avoid like it was a plague-infested hide-out. Didn’t want to see the guy who’d been standing right next to him and had lost his lower legs. Because Monty knew it could have been him.

Why hadn
’t it been?

He knew all about survivor
’s guilt. Had heard from the Marine Corps shrink that he couldn’t have done anything else. It had been the luck of the draw. Monty had been clearing the even IEDs and Lane the odd ones. It could just as easily have been him.

But, all the same, his skin itched, and he wanted to make sure that he was living his life to the fullest.
Taking the risks and the chances that Lane no longer could. And now he was dealing with pride and fear: two sides of the same sword and neither of them pretty.

How was he going to ensure that he was marrying for the right reason?
Not to save his pride, or to prove that he was whole and healthy and taking a bride because that was what men who had it all did.

He shook his head but then opened the window as they flew down the dark Montana highway, letting the cold breeze whip through the cabin and push the thoughts and emotions from his mind.
He kept the window open until he started to feel chilly. After so many years in the desert—he’d done a total of four tours there—he was ready for the cold.

Ready for something different that would remind him he was alive.

Something like that pretty little troublemaker who was driving way too fast in front of him in her sporty little convertible.

She signaled and pulled into Samuel T Emerson
’s big ranch where the Barn Dance was being held. Wedding fever had spread like a wildfire through Marietta and romance was blooming everywhere. Lane’s brothers had been talking about how every woman in town was looking at the single men with bridal dreams in their eyes. But Monty doubted that.

Women were just as reluctant as men to tie the knot.
His mom had walked away from her marriage and Risa had run from her fiancé. God, was he just playing out a sick pantomime of his parents’ twisted relationship? One where he loved her more than she loved him? He put his window up as he rolled to a stop and found a parking spot for his truck.

He needed a few moments to gather his thoughts.
If he’d been this distracted in battle he would have been lucky to get any of his men back safely. And he always had. They might be beat up and a little worse for wear, but he’d gotten them back alive.

There was a rap on the window and Monty glanced through it, to see Lane standing there with a black cowboy hat on his head.

“Dude, you ready to meet your lady tonight?” Lane asked, as Monty opened the door and got out of the truck.

The prosthetics that Lane wore put him at the same height he would have been if he hadn
’t lost his legs. And seeing him like this, well, a stranger wouldn’t even know that he’d been injured.

But then most strangers didn
’t realize the toll that war took on any of them. Most of them were lucky enough not to wear their scars on the outside.

“
Already met her,” Monty said. “She was broke down on the side of the road.”

“
What’d she do when she saw you?”

“
She didn’t run.” But he was coming to realize that Risa was unpredictable. He had no idea what move she’d make next. He still wasn’t entirely sure she wasn’t playing some sort of game with him.

“
That’s good. What’d she say?”

Monty leaned back against his truck.
“She’s confused. Her parents died while we were deployed and then I was messed up because of…”

Uh, yeah, he didn
’t want to talk to Lane about survivor’s guilt, because what could sound lamer to a guy who had lost his lower legs in an explosion than a guy who was screwed up because he hadn’t?

“
Me.”

“
Yeah, you,” Monty said, rubbing his hand over his head and dislodging his own cowboy hat. “Anyway, I think we’re going to get to know each other and see what happens. We are having lunch tomorrow to figure out what’s next.”

“
You think? How could you not know?”

“
That’s Risa. She’s pretty and smart and funny, and confusing as hell.”

Lane laughed and the two men walked to the Barn Dance.
Monty wasn’t sure what he was going to find in there, but for the first time since he’d been in Now Zad he felt a twinge that felt like anticipation, and he knew it was all down to Risa.

She pulled her car into the parking lot at the Emersons’ barn, intensely aware that nothing had been changed between her and Monty. It was still fear that made her keep him at arms’ length. The same fear that had been her constant companion since she’d learned of her parents’ deaths. She knew she should move on past it but she was unable to.

She pulled her heavy velvet coat closer around her and walked carefully in her Louboutin shoes over the icy parking area to the Barn Dance.
Monty had pulled in next to her, but she was determined to show him that kiss hadn’t mattered. That she was impervious to him and wasn’t about to be…what? Made to care about the man she was engaged to.

He hadn
’t asked for his ring back. She had a feeling he wouldn’t, but where did that leave her?

She paused under the lighted entryway, waiting for him. He didn
’t disappoint, following closely on her heels and stopping next to her.

“
What?”

“
Are we doing this?”

“
Doing what?”

“
The engagement? I don’t know a lot of people here, but those who I do…well, I want to know what to tell them.”

“
You’re the one with cold feet, you tell me,” he said.

He wasn
’t making it easy on her and she didn’t really blame him. Who could? She’d said yes and then run away. Even she didn’t like the way that sounded. It hardly mattered that her reasons were real to her.

“
Okay, yes, we’ll say we’re engaged. I know I ran away, but now that you are here, I’d like to…start over. Get the chance to see if we can make this work.”

“
That’s fine with me. As long as you’re willing, so am I.”

“
I’m going to say that I’ve been waiting for you to join me here,” she said. She hated for anyone to know her business or to think that her life was less than perfect. God, she’d forgotten, or rather shoved, that part of herself away while she’d been hiding. But Monty had been serious when he said he wasn’t about to let her hide anymore. And she wasn’t going to.

“
Sounds reasonable. You should also know that I bought a place—The Scotts’ old red barn—in the valley. It’s been converted into a house.”

“
Really?” she asked. She loved the red barn. She’d seen it when she’d been invited to a book club at Annie Prudhomme’s house. It was set apart from everything else, seemed to be the ideal location for a person to just escape to and be unplugged from the world.

That appealed to her a little too much.

“No, I’m lying about that. Of course, I bought the barn. I have to have a place to live,” he said.

“
You’re still mad.”

“
You think?”

“
But you kissed me.”