The Reluctant Bride (10 page)

Perhaps you have forgotten the number of people who witnessed your delicate condition. There were, also, two witnesses in church who would testify to the advancement of your pregnancy.

Major McCartney is a gentleman who is anxious to secure your happiness, though not at the expense of his dignity. You seem to forget that his gallantry towards you was the only means by which you salvaged your reputation and could have kept your child.

An annulment is out of the question not to mention a shabby way to treat a good man.

Quite frankly, I find your efforts in soliciting my help in that direction grubby and beneath yourself.

You also seem to be labouring under a misapprehension. While it is true I offered financial inducement to Major McCartney, he refused my offer.

I am sorry for your misfortunes but you are, ultimately, responsible for your rash behaviour.

Wishing you all the happiness for which you are prepared to strive towards in your new life,

Yours,

GM

Emily crumpled the thick paper and squeezed shut her eyes as she climbed the stairs to her bedchamber.

She felt helpless and trapped.

Trapped, as she never had when Jack's baby offered hope for some future happiness.

Now not only had she lost her baby, but Aunt Gemma denied that Angus had taken her money.

An eternity spent sharing a lumpy mattress with a soldier husband she did not know while she ruined her hands to get the fire lit each morning loomed ahead.

In her bedroom she threw herself, face down, on the bed, and sobbed.

She wanted Jack and she wanted their baby, but her only consolation in not being shunned and destitute as a result of being intimate with the man who would have been her husband in just a few days was … Angus.

And he was a poor substitute.

Angus rode into the stable yard four days later.

‘Emily!' he cried, seeking her out from amongst the family members and staff who had come to greet him.

Dismounting, he removed his hat, smiling as if she could be nothing other than delighted to see him. He carried himself with ease, tall and erect in the saddle. He seemed confident, different from when just the two of them were together.

She'd expected to feel nothing but despair, perhaps even contempt, when she laid eyes on him after such a long separation. Curiously, she found herself admiring his straight-backed form, wondering about the old scar she'd never asked him about. Indeed, he looked every inch the brave, competent soldier she'd been told he was.

‘Hello, Angus.' Emily tempered her smile to reflect a modicum of welcome. She felt wary and very vulnerable, a moment later acknowledging with shock the surprising warmth that swept through her as he took her hands in his strong, determined grip.

‘I hope your journey wasn't too onerous.' Still she strove for the right tone: polite, formal. Distant. She did not meet his eye. It would be wrong to encourage him in view of her determination to leave him – for she
was
determined on that – yet she was surprised at how much she
didn't
recoil.

‘It would appear you've not ridden post haste from the docks.' She'd intended for her words to contain a veiled criticism, despite the fact she'd given him no reason to hurry home, yet he did look awfully good. There was a ruddy glow to his cheeks and his mouth, which she was surprised to notice for the first time was full and well shaped. His eyes sparkled like one in the peak of good health or perhaps riding the crest of good fortune or buoyed up by enthusiasm. His light brown hair was ruffled, making him appear more boyish and approachable, and his coat, though a little mud spattered, was of the finest cut. In short, her husband looked handsome and well turned out in his buckskin breeches, as if he'd visited the finest tailor before returning home, specially to please her.

Three-year-old Jane raised her arms to be picked up. ‘Hamsum Uncle Angus.'

Swinging her onto his shoulders, Angus's gaze lingered upon Emily, but when it was clear Emily had no further greeting for him, he hung back to match Caroline's pace, saying over his shoulder. ‘Not too onerous, thank you. I've just returned from London where I was required to submit a report.'

Abandoned, and instantly regretting her coolness, Emily walked behind them, listening to her husband answer Caroline's volley of questions. Most of these he adroitly bypassed, concentrating on his pleasure to be at Honeyfield and to find everyone so well.

He'd just finished thanking Caroline for her care of Emily when he turned, his expression warming instantly as he looked searchingly at his wife.

‘Emily, I have a surprise. I've secured us a house.' When no immediate response was forthcoming he went on, ‘I think you will like it for it is within easy visiting distance of here and not far from the village.'

At Emily's restrained, ‘How nice, Angus,' he sighed and his tone lost its enthusiasm. ‘The lease came up unexpectedly, though of course if it's not to your taste we won't take it. I thought the proximity to Caroline and Jonathan would be'—he waited for Emily to catch up so he could walk beside her—‘helpful.'

‘They have been kind,' Emily murmured, trying to maintain the sense of isolation and emotional distance she should feel. But all she could think was how well her husband looked. And handsome.

She gave herself an internal shake. She had not wished for this marriage and the fact remained that she was his to command, all on account of the tiny, perfectly formed infant that should have been the first of many warm soft bundles of pleasure created from a loving union with Jack.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Angus gave up trying to thaw her reserve and rejoined Caroline and Jonathan as his sister-in-law led him through the house to show off her newly decorated drawing room.

Emily could see his admiration was genuine as he cast his eye over the purple drapes and embroidered muslin curtains which framed the French doors opening into the conservatory. It was a daring colour scheme which Emily acknowledged worked superbly and Caroline deserved to look pleased with herself. ‘Jonathan was horrified when I showed him the drawings,' she said with a smile, ‘but I think he's come round.'

‘The poor reduced husband was hardly in a position to object.' Jonathan squeezed his wife's slender waist, causing Caroline to feign an exasperated sigh.

‘As if you don't have the authority to control my fortune as you see fit.' Despite the tartness of her tone she was unable to maintain her frown at Jonathan's hangdog expression. Shrugging off his arm to continue her argument, her mouth twitched as she chided, ‘How often must I remind you that I find your references to my fortune and your lack of one in exceedingly poor taste?' She directed an arch look at Angus. ‘Not even my substantial dowry was sufficient to compensate for my lack of face and figure until Jonathan took pity.'

‘And haven't I paid dearly for it?' enquired Jonathan with exaggerated despair. ‘Three beautiful children, an exquisite, well-run home and a wife—'

Emily had expected him to continue his bantering tone. Whereas she'd once felt uncomfortable listening to their more intimate exchanges, she now found them endearing.

She glanced back from her contemplation of Caroline's handiwork and her heart skipped a beat as she intercepted their look. Jonathan continued, his tone gentle and sincere, ‘who is the most beautiful woman
I've
ever seen. A queen amongst queens.'

At Caroline's maidenly blush, Emily slid her eyes across to Angus. Some indefinable emotion crossed his face which made Emily quail inwardly. Did he really think
they
could be like that?

He turned to Emily with a smile that looked as if Caroline and Jonathan's domestic cosiness were contagious. ‘I think you will like our new house, Emily. Like Jonathan, I'd happily give my wife free rein to decorate as she pleases.'

Emily was confused by the unexpected pang of hope and excitement she felt.

Immediately her suspicions were aroused. How could Angus suddenly have come into funds? He'd told her his new appointment was dangerous and secretive, but his remuneration couldn't be so large and immediate, surely?

Bypassing Emily's bland smile, Angus resumed with undampened enthusiasm, ‘It was only quite by chance I heard Wildwood Manor was available during the crossing over. I remember how highly you thought of the place after you were invited there by Admiral Chesterbrook last summer, Caroline, so I inspected it immediately following my return to England.'

‘My, my, little brother.' Jonathan's tone was admiring. ‘How your fortunes have changed.'

Emily slanted a suspicious look at the two of them. Was she being taken for a fool?

‘I'm afraid I haven't the first idea about decorating,' she said, faintly.

Caroline looked at her, oddly.

‘Perhaps, Emily, you'd like to accompany me to the schoolroom to hear the children read,' she said.

‘Lovely,' Emily echoed Caroline's falsely cheerful tone, nodding as the men repaired to the billiards room to pass the time until the dinner gong sounded.

‘Caroline, I'm sorry I was unkind,' Emily began in a rush the moment they'd gained the sanctuary of the long gallery. ‘I
know
my aunt's money paid for this apparently wonderful new home of ours, yet Angus didn't even consult me.'

She
had
to believe it was true. Her aunt must be lying. It was the foundation for her hopes of dissolving this unwanted marriage. It was what she'd channelled all her efforts into achieving since Angus had left, and just because she felt this odd reluctance didn't mean a clean break wasn't ultimately in their best interests.

‘If you're piqued Angus didn't consult you I believe he elicited your feelings earlier but your lack of enthusiasm suggested he should do as he felt best.' Caroline tucked Emily's hand into the crook of her arm once more, adding, ‘You can't have it both ways.'

‘You make me sound like a spoilt child,' Emily muttered, and Caroline laughed.

‘With a great cross to bear. I'm prepared to concede that, my dear.' She smiled. ‘Remember what I told you before? You stand to be a much happier woman if you try to put in the effort.' Fleetingly, she touched her face. ‘Believe me, Angus is worth it.'

A strange jolt of hope came close to breaching the defences guarding Emily's vulnerable heart.

What did she really want? she wondered.

Love and protection, like any woman, but were those things really possible after all that had happened? To give in to Angus's best efforts to win her round meant denying Jack the loyalty she owed him, surely.

Obedience had been drummed into Emily from infancy, though her father and a succession of governesses claimed wilfulness and stubbornness were her greatest failings.

She'd thought he'd never forgive her for rejecting his first choice of bridegroom, so her astonishment had been great when, after a year's social isolation, her father had without warning entered the drawing room where she'd been embroidering one evening, and introduced Jack. The instant flare in Jack's eye told her that he liked what he saw, and to her even greater surprise, her father had left them alone together.

Major Noble, he'd told her, was lodging at The Four Swans while conducting business in town, and he'd be a regular visitor.

Soon Emily was in the throes of fiery, passionate love.

Jack was a man of courage and great moral integrity and, astonishingly, he loved her back.

Angus was kind and decent, but he was not Jack and she could never love him like she loved Jack.

He certainly was, however, making a brave effort to insinuate himself into her affections.

‘Wildwood Manor is only twenty minutes from here by coach, Emily.' Angus's eyes glittered with enthusiasm from beneath the chandelier as he faced her across the table. ‘Much quicker if you ride, of course, and you've told me you're fond of riding. The house is comfortably furnished, so ready for immediate occupation. We can repair there as soon as you wish.'

Immediate occupation. Emily's heart thudded to her feet even as she reminded herself of Caroline's truism. No, she could not have it both ways. But while they were guests of the Reverend and his family she felt safe from her husband's advances. She need never be alone with him, if she didn't wish. She tried to blank her mind to the surge of feeling she'd experienced earlier when he'd smiled a sudden disarming smile at her. It was an aberration.

She forced a smile. Perhaps, if she conveyed her real feelings and discussed it with him in the right way, Angus may be amenable to an annulment.

Caroline leaned over to touch her arm, not hiding her excitement. ‘Emily, we will be neighbours. How delightful. I shall send out invitations for a tea party to celebrate your entry into local society.'

Angus looked at her expectantly. They all did.

Suddenly her bold desires to independently retreat from this holy union were revealed for what they were: the hopeless daydreams of a powerless woman. The law was on Angus's side. What had she to fight with? She had no money, no allies. She was in too deep, Angus clearly wanted the marriage to continue and judging by Caroline and Jonathan's enthusiasm, he had a veritable army ready to fight his cause.

Yet was that such a bad thing? While Angus had been absent, thoughts of severing their union had given her focus. Now that he was back, she wasn't sure what she wanted.

‘Whenever you wish, Angus.' Confusion made her voice leaden. ‘You make the decisions.'

There was little point in delaying the inevitable. They would go to Wildwood and there Angus would claim his husbandly duties with relish while her heart cried out for Jack. She felt a moment's guilt at Angus's fleeting, stricken look before he composed his features, turning to respond to something Jonathan had said to fill the awkward silence.