The Reluctant Duchess (34 page)

“Thank you,” Annabelle said.

“You don’t have to thank me, Anna, only assure me that I didn’t hurt you.”

There had been a few pains but it was worth it. She couldn't t
ell him that, of course. “You didn’t.”

They lay silently in each other’s arms for a few minutes and Annabelle was surprised to realise that she didn’t feel as fulfilled as she thought she would. Having sex, or making love, hadn’t actually calmed any of her fears.

“I suppose I should head back to London soon,” she said, although the words broke her heart. The fact that her head was on his chest and she couldn’t see his face, nor he hers, made the declaration easier. “It’s unfair to leave my staff shouldering my work when I am almost recovered.”

“I…”

“What?” she asked.

“Well, I had hoped that you would stay and celebrate Christmas with us.”

Annabelle thought that sounded wonderful, but this life was nothing more than a dream and she couldn’t live in a dream forever. For whatever reason, although she guessed it was her former attitude, Richard seemed to have no desire to marry her any longer. She supposed things would go back to how they used to be, stolen kisses, clandestine meetings over the coffee house. If that was all they were to have, she could live with it but the sooner she let go of the dream of living happily ever after, the better.

“I… We have a lot of special orders for the Christmas
period; it would be unfair of me not to go back.”

Richard could almost feel his heart breaking in two. He had been so sure that she would come around to the idea of marriage
, that he had even accepted his mother’s wedding ring when she pressed it on him.

He’d planned it all out, how he would propose to her. The ring would be one of her Christmas gifts, one he would give to her before they went downstairs for breakfast and when she opened it, and hopefully looked surprised, he would ask her.

Her other Christmas presents were the portrait of her mother and her first pony, Anchor, both of which he had bought from Mr Collier, Frederick’s lawyer, and arranged to have brought here on Christmas Eve. He had also traced and brought Mercury, her Arabian stallion, who was currently being liveried on one of the estate farms until Christmas.

If only he had asked
her to marry him whilst she was vulnerable, he felt sure she would have said yes. Perhaps a marriage under those circumstances wasn’t ideal but it was surely better than no marriage at all? And now that she was feeling better, the first thing she wanted was to return to her
precious
coffee house.

He’d overthought things and blown his chance.

“If you think that’s best,” he said blinking back tears.

“I do think it’s for the best.”

“Is tomorrow soon enough?”

“Yes,” she almost choked on the word and took a moment to compose herself. “Tomorrow should be fine.”

“And I suppose you will also need a douche,” he said, leaving her embrace and slipping from the bed before his emotions could overcome him. He dressed with his back to her so she couldn’t see the pain he was in. He had hoped that the next time they made love, she wouldn’t need the douche. He didn’t want children straight away, he wanted some time with her first, but it would have been something that they could discuss together.

With her seemingly determined to remain a single
woman though, they had no choice.

Breakfast was a tense affair, despite Lavinia’s attempts at conversation. Richard rode out straight afterwards to check on the estate, so they didn’t have their usual walk in the orchard.

Annabelle went by herself and as she reached the apex of the incline, she finally allowed her tears to fall.
Her sobs overwhelmed her and she sat on the grass, sobbing, not caring how much it hurt her ribs. The pain was almost welcome, anything that could distract her from the heartache, she felt was welcome at the moment.

She was unaware that just an hour earlier, Richard and his horse had stood a
lmost on that exact same spot, as he had cried his own tears.

Richard didn’t return for lunch and remained out until the early evening. As he changed for dinner, on impulse he tried the door to Annabelle’s dressing room, thinking that he would ask her anyway, beg if he had to, but the door was locked.

Dinner was exquisite, as usual, and he did his best to harden his heart and make polite conversation.

“Are you all packed?” Richard asked her.

“I’m sorry?” she looked distracted. “Oh, yes. I didn’t have much to begin with, just the few things Minnie brought me.”

“Then I hope you have a safe journey. Sampson and the driver will both be armed and I’ll send a footman as added security.”

Annabelle hadn’t even considered the possibility of being accosted by highwaymen again but given the pain she felt at leaving, she didn’t have the capacity to worry about that too.

“Thank you, but I’m sure that won’t be necessary.”

They lapsed into silence and Lavinia looked from one to the other, wondering how they could both be so blind.

The plates were cleared and the main course served.

“I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you,” Annabelle said as they ate. “For your rescue of me, Richard, and the both of you for being so very kind to me whilst I convalesced.”

“It was our pleasure,” R
ichard said, taking a long sip of wine.

“Oh, for goodness sake!” Lavinia exclaimed, causing the
m both to turn to her.

“Mother!” Richards tone held a warning.

“No. I know I told you that I would stay out of this but I can’t when you are both making such a mess of your lives. Annabelle,” she turned to her. “Richard has my wedding ring and was planning to give it to you on Christmas morning when he asked you to marry him and Richard.” She turned to her errant son. “Annabelle may have been weakened but your insistence on waiting until she was completely recovered before asking her is frankly, insane. Your total avoidance of the subject has led her to believe that you no longer wish to marry her, and she is running away to London because she is hurt! I refuse to let you ruin something beautiful, because you are both too proud for your own good.”

They spoke over each other as they answered, voice
s raised to be heard over each other.

“I’m not running away!” Annabelle insisted. “I have responsibilities and I simply won’t stay where I'm not wanted!”

“I will be the one to ask her to marry me, not you, Mother! I can’t believe you would do this!”

Lavinia smiled and returned to her dinner, as they turned to each other, having finally realised what had been said.

“You were going to ask me to marry you all this time!” Annabelle shouted. “And you never said a single word to me, not even a hint that you might still be interested!” She got to  her feet and Richard followed suit

“I didn’t want to take advantage of you in your weakened state! I was thinking of you!”

“Of me? Ha! If you were really thinking of me, you wouldn’t have let me think you weren’t interested in marriage, instead of letting me think that I was to become the latest in a long line of mistresses!”

“I was doing that for your own good, so you didn’t feel
that I had taken advantage of you.”

“Physical injury does not make a woman infirm of mind, especially not me!”

“Anyway, it’s
you
who has the aversion to marriage!”

“With good reason!”

“But I am not your father or your brother!”

“I know that!”

“Good, because I love you!”

“And I love you!”

“Then for God’s sake, agree to marry me and put me out of my misery!”

“Fine! Happy now?”

“Ecstatic!”

They lapsed into silence, their tempers cooling as they realised what they had just said.

“D- do you mean that?” Annabelle asked. “Do you really want to marry me?”

“Of course I do, I
’ve wanted to marry you almost since the moment we first met. Did you mean it when you said ‘yes’?”

Annabelle smiled. “Of course I did.”

Lavinia smiled and set her knife and fork down. “I’d say that calls for a kiss, wouldn’t you?”

Richard and Annabelle shared a mischievous smile, then each made their way around the head of the table and bent to kiss one of Lavinia’s cheeks.

“Not me, you fools!” she laughed.

Annabelle and Richard shared a quick but tender kiss behind her back.

“I have written to the Archbishop of Canterbury and he is happy to grant you two a special marriage licence, once you have both written to explain that this is what you want, so you can be married as soon as you would like.”

Although
Richard and Annabelle had hardly eaten anything, Lavinia rang the bell for the plates to be cleared and Smithers entered with two footmen. The couple retook their seats.

“Was something wrong with the meal, Ma’am?” he asked, noting the two barely touched plates.

“Oh no, these two just had more important things on their minds. It seems we are to have a wedding soon, Smithers.”

The butler looked to Richard and Annabelle and with a warm smile, congratulated them.

“I think we’ll have a bottle of the Roederer champagne to celebrate. Oh, and I think we can safely cancel the carriage for tomorrow morning”.

“Ah…” Annabelle interrupted. “Well…”

“I’ll get back to you on the carriage, Smithers, for now just dessert and champagne.”

“Very good, Ma’am.”

Once the servants had left, all eyes turned to Annabelle, who looked uncomfortable. Richard’s expression was guarded and Lavinia just looked confused.

“You still want to return to London?” Richard asked, his tone inscrutable.

“Well, as much as the idea of marrying quickly appeals, I’d like to get things settled first. I thought that I would give the coffee house to Minnie and Frank, who are the most able and would enjoy the opportunity to run it, especially since it would allow them to marry. I don’t know what to do about my house. I had considered giving it to Frank and Minnie also as I know they would keep the other servants on, but the coffee house doesn’t quite support the cost of the taxes and staff, although without Mother’s medical bills, they could probably manage it. Still, it is probably too grand for them and they might feel out of place.” She realised that she was rambling and took a few calming breaths before continuing. “I do want to marry you Richard, but not in haste. I can probably get most of the details worked out and return for in time for Christmas, and perhaps we could marry before the New Year.”

Richard was relieved.
“Or perhaps on New Year’s Day, start the new year as we wish to go on?”

Annabelle smiled. “That sounds like a
wonderful idea.”

There were a lot of details to be worked out before they married, such as what would happen to Annabelle’s mother. Richard was happy for her to have a suite of rooms in Hampshire or in London, or he suggested a small house on the estate where she and Jones could live happily, and he offered to pay for a good asylum.

Deciding that Evelina had
been through enough and that moving, not to mention having a new doctor, would be upsetting, Annabelle decided to keep her London house and a small staff to look after her and Jones. She and Richard would be in London regularly, so she could still see her.

Richard told her to do as she pleased with the coffee house, although he agreed that Minnie and Frank would be good guardians for it. He also offered to divide the house above into two apartments, allowing them to live in one for an affordable rent.

Annabelle would need a new wardrobe, which Lavinia offered to see to. Trusting her friend’s taste, Annabelle readily agreed, although she did lay a few ground rules; nothing too fashionable, nothing too impractical and nothing too bold.

She would need a lady’s maid as well, to take care of her wardrobe and her hair, on occasion.
Annabelle asked if Carol, who had acted as her lady’s maid on the shooting weekend, could do it. She wasn’t trained as a lady’s maid but she clearly had an interest. No one objected, including Carol, so she was to be trained by Lavinia’s lady’s maid in Annabelle’s absence.

Lavinia offered to move into the cottage but Richard wouldn’t hear of it. He insisted that this was her home and she could stay in it until she died. Annabelle wasn’t inclined to object either, first and foremost, because Lavinia was her friend
. She had also been very discreet and understanding about her relationship with Richard and Annabelle couldn’t see her suddenly becoming a tyrannical mother-in-law. Annabelle also had no idea how to run a house like this and so would need someone to show her, although she had no intention of taking over from Lavinia until she was ready to hand over the reins.

Neither of them knew what to do with the
ir lives, post wedding, but they had the time and the freedom to figure that out.