The Reluctant Duke (Love's Pride Book 1) (13 page)

The fresh cool night air felt like sweet water on a hot day Gwen thought.

“Well, that went better than I thought it would,” Aunt Celeste said as she stepped into her coach. Gwen swallowed and held her breath. Was this where Aunt Celeste told her of her mistakes, told her how ridiculous it was for Gwen to accompany her to balls.

It didn’t matter, Gwen thought. She had been to one now. She had danced with a prince. They couldn’t take that away from her. The coach swayed, and the wheels rattled over the cobblestones as they began for home.

“Yes, much better,” the older woman continued with a smile. “Julia was beside herself. You will be the talk of the town. Of course, it should have been Elizabeth, but we will make it work. Tomorrow…” Gwen drifted away from listening to Aunt Celeste; it was all too much.

She shouldn’t have allowed this to happen. Mentally kicking herself she thought about what it might mean. She shouldn’t be attending balls. People saw her, they would be talking about her. A companion didn’t dance with Princes. Her heart stopped, and her breath seized into a knot.

He would hear about this. He would find her. This wasn’t some housekeeper living in the servant’s quarters. This was a woman dancing with a prince at a duchess ball. Her stomach turned over with fear. She couldn’t keep doing this.

Why had she given them her true name, why had she let herself be talked into this night?

She knew why, she admitted to herself. She had wanted to impress Thomas. Wanted him to see her in his world.

A friend, her heart ached with the need for a friend. Someone she could trust to tell all her problems. Somebody to agree that things were bad but tell her that things would be all right. There wasn’t anyone in the world to tell about Thomas. She’d never felt more alone.

At Brookshire, she at least had Mrs. Morgan. But she would have liked to have what Lizzy and Isabel had.

Gwen sighed to herself and wrung her hands in her lap. The really bad part was that she wished she could talk to Thomas.

“…. The park, yes definitely the park,” Aunt Celeste was still talking. She hadn’t even noticed that Gwen wasn’t listening. Gwen silently blessed the darkness inside the coach.

.o0o.

Thomas was frustrated, in more ways than one. He’d been pacing in the study for over an hour; his brandy sat forgotten on his desk.

It had been two days since the ball. The idea of placing Gwen into Celeste’s capable hands had been a stroke of genius. Or at least he had thought so until he’d seen her in that dress and the way the men had looked at her.

She had seemed to shimmer like a blue moon on a cold winter night. To glow with a feminine appeal that made him ache. And he was the idiot who sent her to his Aunt’s house. What had he been thinking? They could have been wrapped up in each other’s arms. Instead, he sent her out of his reach.

He’d walked his leg into a sour soreness as he paced this study. There are some things that burned as if it had been left in the oven overnight. It made him feel like punching something, preferably one of those young popinjays that had ogled Gwen at the Ball.

Stopping in mid-stride, he leaned on his cane and looked off into the distance. Coming to a decision, he turned and stomped to the door.

“Woods,” he bellowed.

The butler arrived almost immediately. Had the man been waiting for him to come to his senses?

“My horse,” he said to the butler. “And if that lazy valet of mine is below flirting with the cook’s helper, send him up. I am going out for the afternoon. I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

“Yes sir,” the butler said with a deadpan expression. Thomas could tell the man had to fight to hide some emotion. He’s probably wondering why it took me so long.

.o0o.

His Aunt Celeste’s butler was your typical straight-laced servant with an ability to look down his nose from his towering height of five foot six. Thomas was secretly pleased to see the man’s eyes flicker when he asked to see his Aunt. The Butler nodded and assured him he would be but a moment.

Thomas said, “Never mind, I know where she is at.” As he brushed passed the servant. With three quick strides, he was across the checkerboard marble floor and stepped into his Aunt’s drawing room.

“Bathurst?” She exclaimed. “What…. I mean, what a wonderful surprise. Won’t you join us?”

Thomas hesitated a moment. His aunt had company.

Three young women, obviously by their similar appearance, sisters. Each of them had feathers in their hair and too much lace about their throats.

Next to his aunt their mother sat with a teacup half raised to her lips. He could see the instant calculations and interest. He was a prime candidate. If one of her daughters could land a Duke, she would be set for life.

What had he stepped into? An overwhelming desire to back out washed through him, and he gripped his stick’s handle preparing to turn when he saw Gwen. She had been blocked by one of the surprised sisters.

Her simple blue day dress and hair up in a simple style with only as few curls made his knees buckle. She looked fresh and innocent next to these puffed up show birds. Like a swan amongst sparrows. Her complexion was as soft as peaches, and her crimson lips seemed to tug at his middle.

She needs to be kissed. Long and hard, by me.

He dipped his head and finished entering the room. “I am sorry for disturbing you; I didn’t realize you had company.”

“Of course, this is my day at home, it has been for years. If you had ever paid any attention, you would know these things.” The arched eyebrow she shot at the girl’s mother seemed to say it all, Men! What were you going to do?”

Thomas bowed slightly to the guests and shot his aunt a questioning look.

“Oh, of course. Lady De Bussie and her daughters, Emily, Amanda, and Sophia. May I present His Grace, the Duke of Bathurst.”

Lady De Bussie and each of the girls stood and curtsied daintily. Thomas bowed gallantly, trying to grab a peek of Gwen. The girls blushed and the youngest had to hide a giggle behind her hand, earning her a stern look from her mother.

“My pardon, Your grace, please forgive my youngest. She is not yet out. We only brought her with us so that she could begin becoming accustomed to the ton.”

The look she shot poor Sophie would have made the Sergeant Major proud. Thomas had to hide a smile and gave the girl a quick wink when her mother’s head was turned. The girl snickered again but was able to hide it before her mother could turn back.

“Would you like some tea, Thomas?” Celeste asked.

He would have preferred a stiff brandy, this is not how he had planned for things to go.

“Yes, of course,” he answered easing himself into a stiff wooden chair. His aunt’s hands shook as she poured the tea and for the first time he realized just how old she was and the stresses he had put on her.

“Here Guinevere, Please take this to His Grace,” Celeste said handing the small tea cup to Gwen.

The young woman took the cup and gracefully stood and carried the cup and saucer to His Grace. She looked into his eyes for a moment. The room around them seemed to disappear. Their fingers brushed, and an electric shock passed up his arm. Yes, this is why he came today. He needed this.

Gwen turned to return to her seat. A look of pure jealousy briefly flashed across the oldest daughters face. Had she seen something or was it just the typical envy of one young girl for a much prettier young woman.

He couldn’t help but compare Gwen to these other young women. They were typical of their class. Quiet, meek, and probably dumber than a grocer’s mule. Attractive enough, they knew all the tricks to make themselves appear desirable but they didn’t have what Gwen had. Nobody had what Gwen had. They and all those like them would always pale in comparison.

The woman continued to share small talk. Trying to bring Thomas into the conversation, asking him his opinion about this event or that on dit.

They seemed surprised when he expressed a lack of interests in the latest rumor about who had made a fool of themselves at the latest ball. It took everything he had not to get up and pace around the room while he waited for them to leave.

He knew that Celeste could see his impatience. He was sure that Lady De Bussie was aware as well but seemed to be dragging the visit out as long as possible. Several times she caught Celeste looking at the clock on the mantle, but the girl’s mother acted obliviously and continued talking.

Finally, seeing that there was no hope of attracting his attention to one of her daughters she announced that they must be leaving. That the Countess of Amly was expecting them.

They stood, and everyone exchanges goodbyes and niceties about seeing each other at the next ball. A subtle hint that Emily would be more than willing to accept a request for a dance from His Grace, in fact, Thomas was pretty sure she would have acquiesced to any request he could have made of the young woman.

The penetrating look she sent his way from lowered eyebrows seemed to be trying to beckon him. Where did young women learn to give such a look? Was it something they practiced in their looking glass at night? Shaking his head to clear it Thomas bowed and then watched them leave the room. Throwing Sophia a final wink eliciting a full-throated giggle.

Once her guests had finally departed, Aunt Celeste turned on her nephew.

“Thomas, Really, I must say, if you are going to interrupt my afternoon I insist you give me warning. In addition, I will expect better conversation in the future. Really, I must say.”

Thomas smiled as he handed his teacup and saucer back to Gwen. The thing felt like a fat thimble in his hands. He’d been confident he would crush it before the afternoon was through.

Once free of the useless item he stepped to the side table and poured himself a stiff Brandy. Aunt Celeste shot him a withering stare, but he ignored it and finished half his drink in a quick swallow. He couldn’t be this close to Gwen for this long without some support. Not unless he could touch her, caress her until she could think of nothing but him.

Refilling his glass, he joined the ladies, choosing to sit in the chair on the other side of the young woman.

“Why are you here?” Celeste asked.

Thomas had to tear his eyes away from Gwen and bring himself back to reality. She was blushing, and her hands were gripped together tightly in her lap. He realized he hadn’t heard her voice all afternoon. No one had tried to include her in the conversation. Was it always like that? It wouldn’t be that way once she was his duchess.

“Where are Lizzy and Isabel? I thought to take you and them to the park.”

He saw a brief smile flash on Gwen’s face and then her shoulders slumped slightly in resignation. She probably thinks that I was talking about Celeste and the girls only.

“The Barouche would hold the four of you comfortably, and I will take my horse. It is a beautiful day. A day that should be spent outdoors. Don’t you think?”

Gwen sat up straight and looked at Celeste with hopeful eyes as Celeste slowly considered his words.

“Lizzy and Isabel should be back shortly. They are at Sarah’s, Lady Gilbert’s.”

“You let them go out without an escort?”

“It is only across the way, and Sarah is my oldest friend. Her daughters have had only sons. She so desperately wants to help with the girls. It will do them some good not to be under the ever watchful eye of their Aunt. They need to start spreading their wings a little. A girl can’t do that with their mother, or their maiden aunt hovering around them all the time.”

Thomas thought back to the daughters of Lady De Bussie, none of them had spoken unless spoken to. He was sure that none of them had an original thought in their head. Unless it was the youngest Sophia, she at least had been able to see the absurdity of the entire situation. Relaxing, he nodded.

“Let’s send someone over to retrieve them and then we can spend the afternoon in the park.”

Celeste smiled, “Come Gwen, we must get changed. Thomas have Hightower send one of the footmen for the girls and have the Barouche brought around. We should be ready in a half an hour.”

The park was busier than a kitchen on Christmas morning. Anyone who was anyone was out and about. Gwen felt like a field mouse amongst all the splendid hats and fashionable walking dresses.

She had decided to dress in one of her simpler frocks. No need to compete with Lizzy, A companion was to be available, not seen she reminded herself. Always in the background.

Celeste had clucked and shook her head when she saw the dress, but she hadn’t told her to go back and change. Thomas hadn’t even really looked at her. It was as if she wasn’t in the same room with him.

Her heart ached a little as he seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. Until he handed her up into the open carriage. The normal shock that occurred whenever they touched passed through her like lightning and she saw that he felt it too. His eyes registered surprise. It made her feel warm inside to know that she had that effect on him.

Sitting next to Celeste in the back, she adjusted her dress and settled in for a nice afternoon. Lizzy and Isabel were obviously excited, talking a mile a minute and turning this way and that. Pointing out people they knew.

“There is Lady Campbell,” Lizzy said in a loud whisper. “Her husband has left her for an actress. I would be too mortified to show myself in public.”

“Lizzy,” Celeste said shaking her head. “We don’t talk about such things.”

The young woman had the grace to blush slightly and look down at her hands in her lap.

“I’m sorry Aunt Celeste.”

The old woman nodded to emphasize the point then settled back in her seat. A few minutes later she turned to Lizzy.

“So where did you hear this about Lady Campbell. I am surprised. Everyone knew that he had a mistress, but to leave his wife for her. What was the man thinking?”

Lizzy glanced at both Isabel and Gwen, did this mean she should talk about it or not, she was confused. Finally deciding that her Aunt couldn’t get too upset, she told the story about how Lady Robert’s had told Sarah, Lady Gilbert all about it. She was obviously a little worried about exposing her source; Celeste might not let her go back there unescorted.

Gwen glanced at Thomas high on his horse next to the carriage. What did he think about all of this? Did he have a mistress she wondered? Could she be his mistress?

It would mean being in his bed once again. She would give almost anything to be back there. Should she ruin everything by returning to his bed? Did he want her to? Her stomach became queasy thinking about it all. Her body ached with need. Her mind reeled with fear and her heart ached with love for a man she couldn’t have.

How would she feel when he got married? Could she continue to see him if he was married to another woman? Knowing that he was sleeping with his wife to make an heir then coming to her bed. Or worse, sleeping with his wife because he wanted to. Could she share him?

“What is it Gwen, you look whiter than a ghost. Are you feeling well?” Lizzy asked.

She smiled weakly and shook her head, “Nothing, everything is fine.”

Lizzy examined her for a moment then returned to gossiping with Isabel.

Another woman will have him was all Gwen could think about. It was impossible to get that thought out of her head. It had become her primary worry. Not being discovered as an imposter. Not even being located by her pursuers.

Losing Thomas was the worst thing that could happen. No, that would happen. As sure as the sun rose each day. There was no avoiding it, and she needed to start building that realization into all of her thinking.

Sighing to herself, she put on a brave face and smiled at the world. Later, when she was alone, she’d think about what she would do next. Now she must appear the happy, pleasant companion, to Lady Celeste. It was the least she could do considering.

“Celeste, no balls tonight?” The Duke asked as he brought his big stallion alongside the carriage.

“No, not tonight.” Aunt Celeste answered as she brought her hand up to shade her eyes against the bright sun. “I thought it best to forgo an evening or two. Now that the girls are known, in demand you might say. It is best we keep the young men of the ton guessing. Wondering where these two jewels may appear next.”

The Duke laughed to himself. Smiling down at Gwen he asked, “And you Miss Harding, are you enjoying yourself this season?”

She hesitated for a moment, her face growing slightly pink with embarrassment. Why had he singled her out? What was she going to say, she was a paid companion. It was not as if she could complain.

She couldn’t say that she found the entire spectacle ridiculous. That Aunt Celeste and her countless rules and demands were driving her crazy. Or that all the silly pomp and circumstance made her feel lost and alone.

Smiling, Gwen nodded and said, “Of course Your Grace, Everything has been truly spectacular. Much more than I ever dreamed.”

There the matter rested. He nodded, accepting her statement. Couldn’t the big idiot see how much pain his mere presence caused her? How every time he drew near she became flustered and unsure of herself.

“Well, I must give Jason here a run. He won’t be held back much longer. I will leave you ladies for a moment.” With that he was off, slowly bringing his horse up to a cantor followed by a trot and then a full gallop.

He was magnificent. Straight back, wide shoulders, barely moving as the horse raced beneath him. Gwen turned to watch him as he raced around a bend in the path and out of sight. Her heart faltered, and the smile leaked away from her face. Looking up she caught both Lizzy and Isabel staring at her, both of them with a look of pity.

Could they tell what she was feeling, did they know? She couldn’t do this much longer. This charade. This in-between world that left her nothing but pain.

.o0o.

An unencumbered evening was not to be wasted. His club beckoned, a few games of chance, probably too much whiskey and a sore head in the morning.

The Sergeant Major was spending time with old acquaintances. Soldiers from the regiment. Thomas knew that he would be welcomed, and a part of him desperately wanted to join them. But the men couldn’t truly enjoy themselves with him there.

Better to let them enjoy the evening. They were probably all hoisting a mug to him while trying to top each other with outlandish tales about how tough a Commanding Officer he had been.

Smiling to himself, Thomas entered the parlor to wish the girls a good night. As he entered the room he was non-pulsed to see Aunt Celeste and Gwen sitting at the far end of the room in discussions with both Lizzy and Isabel.

Gathering himself, he finished entering the room.

“I wasn’t aware you were here Celeste. Woods should have informed me.” The Duke said as he watched Gwen’s face turn a pretty shade of pink. She was working on a needlepoint. He had an urge to go over and take it from her hand, to caress it and examine it so that he could praise her skill.

“Pish,” Celeste said, pulling him back to reality. “There was no need to inform you, a quiet evening at home with the young ladies. We won’t be long. You are going out I assume,” she said raising her eyebrow in such a way that it was obvious she was not pleased with the idea of him going anywhere and having any kind of enjoyment in life.

If he had known they were coming, he wouldn’t have made plans. Or to be more precise, if he had known Gwen was coming he wouldn’t have made plans to leave for the evening.

“Actually, I was thinking of staying in myself,” he said. “So what are you young ladies doing may I ask?”

“We are reading Miss Austin’s latest,” Elizabeth said. “Emma, it is rather good. Both Isabel and I take turns reading to Aunt Celeste. Would you like to join us?” Her lips turned up into a small smirk.

Thomas blanched, “No, that’s quite all right, you go ahead.”

Adjusting his coat, he sat in his stuffed chair as far from the animated tale as possible. He opened the paper and tried to concentrate on the latest story about the proposed Corn Laws. No matter how hard he tried though, it seemed his eyes kept being pulled towards Miss Harding.

She sat on the settee, her back straight. Nimble fingers pulling the thread through her work. Her hair was up, her dress a flattering shade of blue. Not as provocative as the ball gown from last week he thought with a shudder. Thank god. He didn’t know if he would have been able to sit in the same room with her and not make a fool of himself if she’d been wearing that dress again.

Sighing to himself, he folded his paper. “Do you play cards Miss Harding?” he asked.

She looked up glancing into his eyes. A brief, startled rabbit look, was quickly replaced by a more determined expression. Her hands fell to her lap as she raised an eyebrow.

“Cards?” She asked.

“Yes, you know, whist, loo, piquet?”

“Yes, of course,” she answered, “But you need four and Aunt Celeste is enjoying herself. I would not want to interrupt the reading.”

“No, of course not. Here let me show you the two person version of whist, we played it in the Army almost every night.”

She hesitated a moment, quickly glancing at Aunt Celeste. The old woman was sitting quietly listening to her grandniece read about Mr. Knightly criticizing Emma’s attempts at matchmaking. Gwen nodded tentatively then got up and joined him at the small card table.

Thomas began teaching her the rules of two-handed play and was not surprised when she quickly grasped the concept.

He dealt the cards, and they settled into playing, silently ignoring the tension slowly building up between them. Thomas’s thoughts kept returning to their night together and the feeling of true happiness that had overcome him that night. What was he going to have to do to convince this woman to be his wife?

They played comfortably for quite a while, each lost in their own thoughts.

He was one of the most powerful men in the country, rich, respected, young enough. Except for his leg, not unpleasant to look at. Most women would yearn for the chance to be his bride. Yet still, he knew, deep down, these were things that would not impress Gwen. Not enough to make her do something she didn’t want to do. And taking on the role of his Duchess could very easily be considered a chore that might frighten many women. Especially for a woman not trained to do it.

Sighing to himself, he played a card which she immediately trumped, shooting him a small smile of satisfaction.

He glanced at the score and was surprised to see she was winning. He had to admit it to himself; it wasn’t solely because his mind continued to wander. She was good, understood the strategy of the game and was quick to pounce on his mistakes. He shouldn’t have been surprised, he thought as he decided to concentrate more on the game.

“So Miss Harding, how are you finding the Ton? Is my Aunt treating you acceptably?”

He watched as she hesitated for a moment in choosing a card. Her face grew serious as she thought about his question.

“Yes Your Grace, of course,” She answered. “Aunt Celeste has been very good to me. I am lucky in my position. Much luckier than I ever had a right to believe would happen.”

“So it was a good thing having you become my Aunt’s companion. No regrets?”

She hesitated again as a very becoming crimson blush descended over her face and down her chest. He knew she too was thinking of their last night together and how it had led to her becoming a Lady’s companion.

“No Your Grace, I have no regrets,” she said with a secret smile as she looked into his eyes. Then playing a card, yelped when she realized she had won another game.

“Hmph,” Thomas said as he gathered the cards.

“You didn’t answer my question about the Ton, what do you think? Rather ridiculous. All those silly rules, expectations, I find it rather tiresome to tell you the truth.”

“I don’t know that I agree Your Grace,” she answered confidently. “Most of the people have been very kind. Lady Somerset, Aunt Celeste’s friend Lady Sarah. Each of them has gone out of their way to make me feel comfortable.”

He raised an eyebrow in doubt and waited for her to go on.

“I am serious Your Grace, granted there are a lot of rules and expectations as you call them. And yes it does seem that everyone is more interested in establishing his or her hierarchy in the pecking order. But really, it is not much different in the servant’s quarters. Even the Army has its rules and ranks.”

He snorted, “That is for certain. But still, does it bother you that people look at you differently because you are a lady’s companion and not a Countess or Duchess.”

“I was raised a Merchant’s daughter,” she said with a faraway look crossing her eyes. “True, a rich merchant, but a merchant never the less. I was never going to be a Lady. I never thought I would dance with a prince, or play cards with a Duke. Believe me Your Grace I have no regrets.”

Thomas slowly nodded his head as he pondered what she had told him. His eyes focused on his cards as he thought about the woman across from him. She was so intelligent and saw the world as a good place. He well knew how bad it could be. This woman however, despite what life had thrown at her, consciously chose to see the good in people. To face the world with a positive smile.

“What about you, Your Grace. Do you like being a Duke?” she asked, “I know that I have asked this in the past, but I wondered if you might have changed your mind since we arrived in London.