Read The Remarkable Miss Frankenstein Online
Authors: Minda Webber
“Oh, I do believe Ozzie will propose to Aunt Mary.”
Ian shook his head. “ Our marriage, Clair. The marriage that should take place as quickly as I can get you to an altar.”
Placing a hand against his chest, she warned, “Ian, we have been through this. I love you, but I can’t believe we should wed unless you embrace my studies and accept that they are as much a part of me as the color of my eyes. I won’t give up my research.”
“Clair, it’s not that I mind your research or work, though heaven knows you would never have to work with my fortune. It’s the manner of research you undertake. It’s too dangerous. I would worry about you all the time.” She started to protest, but he held up a hand, stalling her. “Just like I worry now.”
“You are being ridiculous. Nothing irreversible has ever happened to me on my forays into the supernatural. Besides, we can work together on my various projects.”
Exasperated, Ian frowned. “I have my estates. Look how busy I’ve been the past few days on small emergencies that spring up from nowhere. And soon you’ll be busy with our children.” His frown went away at the thought of making babies with Clair.
The look in his eye shouted, “Let’s get naked.” Quickly, Clair dropped her hand from his chest, taking a step backward. “It’s late. Auntie will be worried. I need to go upstairs to bed.”
“Without me,” he snapped. Then, seeing the irritated look in her eyes, he added sincerely, “I’m sorry. I just want you so badly. I can’t wait until this bloody house party is over and I can get you alone and have my wicked way with you. Let me correct that. My wicked, wicked ways with you.”
He wanted to tryst the night away in Clair’s arms. He was cocksure about it. Yes, he thought grimly, it was certainly sure. Roaring and ready to go. All it took these days was for him to think about Clair and her plump white breasts…
Clair stifled a groan as she presented her arm for him to escort her upstairs. She wanted to count every one of those wicked ways with her fingers. She had become a fornicating floozy. What a naughty thought! She arched a brow. Ian definitely had that kind of effect on her. Drat, it was going to be a long and very lonely night.
Ian sighed. So far Plan C was limping along on three legs. And bloody hell if it wasn’t going to be a long wait until dawn. He kissed Clair chastely at her door and left, his breeches uncomfortably tight.
Clair went inside her room. Glancing around, she found no sign of movement. No sign of her aunt. She beamed, knowing just what her aunt was doing and with whom.
But… she and Ian had had little to no time alone together. Her aunt was probably going to be gone for a bit longer. Clair slipped quietly from her room.
Before she could reach the landing to the third floor, she heard suspicious giggles and the opening of a door. Glancing around her for somewhere to hide, she noticed a darkened nook under the stairwell. She slipped inside only moments before she spied the married Mr. Bear sneaking into Mrs. Walling’s room, his chamber robe on, a garish creation of bright red. Next she saw Galen McBain lightly tapping on the newly widowed Lady Harringon’s door, who was evidently not very bereaved.
She thought she could move out from her hiding place then, but before she could, Baron Golde with his bright golden locks craftily, like a thief in the night, entered Mrs. Edmonds’s bedchamber. Then, as Clair was preparing to step out into the hallway again, she observed Lady Montcrief entering Mr. Wilder’s room. Much to her disgust and surprise, the baron’s wife, Lady Golde, soon followed Lady Montcrief into the not-so-honorable Christopher Wilder’s chamber.
“A menage à trois?” Clair was fascinated and affronted at the same time. Soon, however, her scientific little brain was hard at work trying to figure out the angles and acrobatics needed to accomplish such a task. To manage to put one peg into two holes? The visual she constructed made her face turn beet red.
Turning her mind to her own rendezvous, she waited several more moments to make sure the coast was clear. Then she slipped up the staircase, only to nearly be caught by Mrs. Bear. The married lady was engaged in a passionate embrace with the also-married Viscount Edwards. The fact that the embrace was so lusty saved Clair from discovery as she silently darted behind a large Ming vase near the third-floor staircase. After several minutes of heavy petting and embarrassing noises, the couple slipped silently down the hallway and into one of the other guest rooms—probably Mrs. Bear’s, Clair reasoned, since Mr. Edwards’s room was occupied by Baron Golde and Mr. Edwards’s wife.
Clair shook her head at all the bedroom antics. No wonder her aunt had always been so vehemently opposed to her and Arlene attending any house parties in the country. They were virtual dens of iniquity. In fact, she wondered, if she went back to her own room, if she would have to ask, “Who’s been sleeping in my bed?”
Her head reeling, she went to step from behind the Ming vase just as her aunt stepped out of Ozzie’s room. “Drat! Drat! And double drat!” she shouted silently. There would be none of Ian’s loving tonight.
Luckily her aunt was distracted by Ozzie’s sizzling kiss and hadn’t spotted her. Carefully and quietly, Clair eased from behind the vase and tiptoed back to the stairs. It was lucky that people didn’t have eyes in the backs of their heads, she thought. Then she remembered one of Uncle Victor’s more dismal experiments. He had once implanted a second set of eyes in the back of an owl’s head. The poor thing had gotten dreadfully confused as whether to fly forward or backward, and so the bird kept crashing into chandeliers.
Remembering where she was, Clair took off like greased lightning and slipped down the stairs to her room, barely getting her hair undone before her aunt entered. Both glanced at each other sheepishly. Each lost in their thoughts, they let silence reign.
Much later that night, the stillness was broken by a scream. Both Clair and Lady Mary would find out in the morning that it was Mr. Bear, who had found three to a bed more than a little uncomfortable. Yes, Mr. Bear had found out who was sleeping in his bed: Baron Golde. And it hadn’t been, “Just right.”
The
day went exceedingly fast for Clair. Breakfast was embarrassing, as Clair sat down next to Baron Golde and his wife, as well as several other participants in the night’s bedroom antics. Clair ate quickly, a blush on her face through most of the meal.
At breakfast she was informed that Asher had been called away on estate business, while the Honorable Christopher Wilder, the Bears, Lady Montcrief, and several others were going on some scouting expedition to some old ruins. That left Clair free to search the manor, except Ian kept her busy until late after luncheon, trying to whisk her away to private spots for private moments.
Her aunt, however, had the tenacity of a bloodhound, finding them before anything more than a passionate kiss or two could be shared. Ozzie trailed behind her aunt like a lost puppy. Galen, never one to be left out of any teasing of his cousin, also popped in on them right at any moment the two found themselves alone. The crafty bugger always had a big smirk on his face, and Ian cursed beside her. Clair found it both humorous and frustrating.
Later in the day, Clair finally got to begin her search for proof of the earl’s preternatural abilities, for Ian got an urgent message from his Yorkshire estate. Fortunately for Ian, the estate was only four hours away on horseback. Unfortunately for Clair, Ian would have to miss the country ball the earl was holding in his guests’ honor.
Ian kissed her goodbye, warned her to be careful, and promised to return as quickly as possible the following morning. He waved as he and Galen left. With both regret and relief, Clair watched him ride away.
Although sad, Ian’s departure gave Clair the freedom she needed to explore the downstairs estate, which turned out a disappointment, with the exception of the cellars. Those she was unable to view since they were locked up tighter than a drum.
It turned out entirely a wasted day. She found no werewolf proof. No wolf man footprints, except for the wolfhound prints Clair had discovered earlier. She got no mad, passionate lovemaking. And her chaperone was only a chaperone until Ian left; then Mary went off on her merry way to pave her path to hell with desire. Clair thought all these things as she watched her aunt Mary and Ozzie walking along the terrace. Ozzie was holding her too close, and Mary was cooing at him.
“Traitor,” Clair mused out loud. The way Aunt Mary was gazing at Ozzie with heat in her eyes, and the way Ozzie was looking at her aunt, as though she were a seven-course meal or new recipe, it was more than obvious what the couple had been doing. They’d been frolicking and fornicating, while Clair had been forced to take a nap all by her lonesome.
“You sneaky little coquette,” she muttered to herself about her aunt, a half smile on her face. “It’s you who need the chaperone, Auntie.” Clair stood alone by the balcony entrance, waiting for the earl to be announced. Glancing out the large crystal-cut windowpanes, she could see the soft white glow of the full moon. At least one thing would come from this dismal day. Tonight, when Asher didn’t show up, she’d have her proof he was a werewolf. Werewolves had to change on the night of the full moon. It couldn’t be helped.
Of course, she knew Asher would make up some lame excuse—like another emergency on the estate— for being absent. But it wouldn’t matter. She would have more circumstantial evidence. During the next two full moons she would contrive to be around Asher and note he’d be once again not available. If she were very lucky, she might even get to see him shape-shift. What a thrill that would be, making her scientific day. Clair smiled beguilingly. She was getting closer to the truth. Fulfilling her Frankenstein destiny. She would join the greats such as Galileo, Newton, Darwin and her uncle Victor.
Her smile froze then turned to an open-mouthed O.
Asher grinned wolfishly at her as he walked down the large marble staircase. Gotcha! he thought gleefully as he made his bow to her.
“You’re not a…” Clair stopped herself before blurting out the w-word.
“A what?” Asher’s expression was amused. He had never seen Clair so stumped before.
“A… a… a-afraid of wearing that hue of burgundy for an evening jacket. How refreshing, since most of the men here are dressed in somber black or those garish colors yellow and green,” Clair said in a rush.
“Drat! Drat, drat, and triple drat!” she muttered to herself. She had done it again—convinced herself that earls were werewolves and barons vampires, when in reality everyone was human and no one was a supernatural predator at all. What a huge disappointment she was to the Frankenstein name. There would be no prestigious Scientific Discovery of the Decade Award for her. No publication. No lecturing in front of her peers in the scientific halls of academia. What would Uncle Victor say? Bloody hell. What would Ian say? He would probably never let her live it down.
“My, you are fast on your feet,” Asher commented. Seeing Clair’s confusion, he grinned. “Ah. You were talking about fashion and here I thought you were talking about something else.” Dropping her hand politely, he took a step back and glanced down at the deep burgundy of his coat. “I could change. Would you like to see me change?” He hesitated, enjoying Clair’s chagrin. “Jackets, that is.”
Flustered, she shook her head. “You look divine, as always.” Clair’s mind was racing, her angst receding somewhat as she tried to find explanations for her abominable lack of investigative skills.
“Humph!” she muttered, vowing to apprentice herself to Mr. Durlock Homes for a time and learn his superior investigation skills. Asher preened a moment, then entered the receiving line to greet his guests.
In a drat-I-can’t-believe-he’s-not-a-werewolf depression, Clair strolled outside, taking the large stone stairway leading from the terrace down to the gardens. The air was crisp and the soft white orb of the full moon nestled into the velvety black sky. It shone down, highlighting the lush green foliage of the garden.
Strolling down a path at the edge, Clair kept thinking about her mistakes. Ian the vampire was not a vampire. Wider the vampire was not a vampire. Ozzie the warlock was not a wizard. And Asher the werewolf was not a wolf. How could she have been so wrong? Where had her hypotheses gone awry? What fatal steps had she taken in her research that led her to this once-again humiliating moment in time?
And who was making that whimpering sound?
Alert, Clair hurried up the path farther into the deep shadows made by the trees along the side. Someone was in trouble. A female, by the sound of the cry.
Stumbling into a small opening between the hedges, Clair came upon a scene straight from one of those horror novellas, the ones which were much more fictionalized than her uncle Tieck’s novel. She blinked, gasped, then blinked again, trying to understand what she was seeing.
The red-haired maid whom Asher’s butler had assigned to Clair was draped over one of Christopher Wilder’s arms, her bare neck exposed. Blood was flowing from a wound on her neck. The maid was crying, her arms beating to no avail against Wilder’s chest.
Turning, his gaze malevolent, Wilder bared his fangs, and his eyes glowed with an otherworldly light.
“Bloody hell!” Clair cursed, unconsciously using one of Ian’s favorite phrases. “You are a vampire. I was right! Right!”
For one small second Clair wanted to dance with joy, until the reality of her situation came crashing down upon her. She was alone with a fang-baring, blood-drinking killer!
The maid’s cry interrupted her thoughts. No, Clair wasn’t alone, and she had to do something to save the maid. She reached up to touch her silver cross, only to remember she hadn’t worn it to the house party, since she had been hunting werewolves and not the walking dead.
Quickly discarding her plan to back the vampire away from the maid by clutching a cross, Clair settled on another scheme. Grabbing a thick fallen branch, she charged Wilder and swung it at the vampire’s head. As plans went, she would later realize, this was doomed to failure.