The Rendezvous (18 page)

‘And do you still love me?' he asked. ‘Knowing everything, will you still let me touch you, make love to you?'

‘I've nothing to live for if you don't,' she said. ‘And we have the rest of the day together. Tomorrow we can think about the outside world.'

7

They had been back in New York for two weeks; he had finished his final designs for the department store and decided that it was one of the best pieces of work he had ever done. Being in love was a new stimulant; it made everything important because he felt so vitally alive himself. He had a contract with a florist to send flowers to his apartment and have them arranged three times a week, so that when Terese came to him she found roses in the bedroom. He had got rid of the bed, and given away the calf-skin cover; he intended to have the whole apartment re-decorated and to let her tell him how she wanted it. It had become a home because she went there, and the bedroom was beginning to look the kind of room he would have had at home in Frankfurt, except for the white leather walls. They would be changed too, but Terese enjoyed choosing with him and discussing, so there wasn't any hurry. He had never been so happy in his life as in those two weeks after they got back. And Terese was happy too; it showed in subtle ways, which he could see, like a new confidence in herself. He wondered how the husband could be so blind that he didn't notice how his wife had changed. Amstat could meet him now quite openly, just as he had met Julia at a cocktail party given by a mutual friend. He still hated them as a form of social entertainment, but he went because he knew the Bradfords would be there, and he couldn't lose the chance of seeing her. Julia had gone up to him and held out her hand. She did it with a style which he couldn't help admiring.

‘Hello there. How are you?'

‘Very well. And you? You look wonderful.'

‘Thanks. Let's move over here for a minute. Thanks for the flowers, Karl, and the note. It was nice of you to send them.' They had made her cry when they arrived; he had done something sentimental and she couldn't be angry with him any more. It really was ridiculous how much she missed him, he had no idea as they stood talking, how much she wanted to beg him to come back. He was at the party to see Terese; she had come there to see him.

‘I just wanted to say I was sorry,' he explained. ‘I behaved very badly that night. I was rude and I said things I didn't mean at all. I hoped you would forgive me. I hope you have forgiven me.' He saw the colour coming into her face; it was the first time he had ever seen her blush. ‘And forgotten me,' he added. ‘Except as a good friend.'

She managed to smile and she shrugged. ‘I've done both, my dear,' she said. ‘Forgiven and forgotten. We had a lot of fun together and I guess I behaved pretty badly myself. By the way, how is it going?'

‘How is what going?' He took a whiskey-and-soda from a passing waiter's tray.

‘Your new affair,' she said. ‘With Terese Bradford. Oh don't look like that, darling, I know all about it, everyone knows all about it except Bob. That ultra-bitch Vera saw the two of you lunching one day and she's had a ball, spreading the news around. You ought to be more careful, you two.' It was said with a smile and without malice.

‘I just want you to know that I'm not jealous any more. And you needn't worry about me saying anything to Bob, because I won't. He's too nice to hurt, and I have a soft corner for you too, in a way, now that we're just friends.'

‘You're a nice woman, Julia,' he said suddenly. ‘And we will be careful. I'm very grateful to you.'

‘They've just come in,' Julia said. ‘Go on over, you don't have to waste your time with me. You really are crazy about her, aren't you?'

He had forgotten her when he saw Terese moving through the crowd of people; he turned back to her then. ‘Yes,' he said. ‘I am.'

‘Goodbye, Karl. Nice to have seen you.'

‘Goodbye, Julia.' He took her hand and kissed it.

‘My,' she said, ‘only you could click your heels like that, my sweet, and get away with it. Americans are so uncouth, I've always said so. Good luck.' She turned away from him and the crowd swallowed her up. He had forgotten himself. Christ! he had clicked his heels and kissed her hand as he had been taught to do as a young officer. Careless, careless – stupid. He called himself a variety of names and moved in the direction of the Bradfords. It was because of Terese, because he relaxed all his pretences when they were alone. Old habits were reasserting themselves, unconsciously he was slipping back. He went up to Bob Bradford and held out his hand.

‘Hello,' he said. ‘Hello, Terese, how are you?' He made a point of shaking hands with them both, very casually, just to make up for the slip he had made with Julia Adams. But nobody had noticed, or would see anything significant in it if they did. He indulged his curiosity now whenever he met Robert Bradford, and studied him intently. He was interested in the man because of what he had done for Terese; he wasn't jealous of him because in spite of it all he had never made her love him. He could afford to be curious without resenting him at all. He had asked her once if she felt differently with her husband now; it was the stirring of an intolerable jealousy, but she had put it simply and directly to him so that he didn't have to think of it again. Nothing had changed between her and Bob. And nothing would change. He had a right to her gratitude and to whatever affection she could give him, and he was always going to have both, as long as he wanted it. That part of her life was the same, and it had no connection now with the life that she and Amstat shared together. That belonged to them alone, and it was her real life, and she was her real self only when they were together. He must not, she had said gently soon after they returned from Chicago, confuse her loyalty with her love. She could only give one to Robert; he had both and he ought to be content with that. He was, and he had never asked that sort of question since. Under different circumstances he might have liked Robert Bradford, even made an attempt to get to know him on a less superficial level than the dinner parties and casual encounters like their present one. He was good-looking, virile, and everybody liked him. Julia had said that – ‘He's too nice to hurt' – Terese, so passionately engrossed with him, still sheltered her husband and refused to leave him or allow him to be hurt. He was the kind of clean-cut American who would have been killed in five minutes by any one of his own troops or by him in his combat days on the Eastern Front. He didn't have the fighting, aggressive spirit in him which still smouldered in the European character, expressing itself in wars. Bradford was the best example of the New World; he and the woman he loved were true products of the old one, and the American generosity of spirit would always be taken advantage of and at the same time resented by the European. It was interesting to think about, though irrelevant, and he addressed himself to Bob, keeping Terese till later, when they might slip away for a few words alone.

‘I've been up to my eyes these last few weeks,' Bradford was saying, ‘playing my sister's favourite game – trust-busting! Never make a trust for your children, Karl, because whatever you do, it's sure to be wrong at some time or other!'

‘I'll remember that,' Amstat said, ‘but I've got a long way to go before it's an issue.'

‘You need a wife,' Bob said. ‘That's my great theory for everyone. Get married; there's nothing like it.' He put his arm round Terese as he said it. ‘Is there, sweetheart? How about finding a nice girl for Karl and making him settle down? Too bad you and Julia didn't make it.'

‘Yes, it was a pity,' he agreed with a pleasant smile. ‘But she's already had two husbands. She mightn't share your enthusiasm for marriage; I'm not sure I do either, on that count.'

‘Well, maybe it's because I've been so lucky then,' Bradford said. ‘I'm a complaisant bastard, aren't I, darling?'

‘Not really,' Terese said. ‘I think you're right. Karl ought to settle with a nice girl.'

‘Just make sure she doesn't keep changing her mind, like some women I know,' Bradford said. ‘A couple of weeks ago we were all set for Portugal. Now I can't drag her away from New York. You just never know what's coming, do you?'

‘With women – no,' Amstat said. ‘But being unpredictable is part of their charm.'

Their moment alone came soon after, while Bob went in search of a drink. ‘Don't talk to me, darling,' she said. ‘I think it's beginning to show on us. I feel so awful when I'm with Bob and I see you. He hasn't any idea, poor darling.'

‘Are you going to find me a nice girl, then?' he said quietly. ‘A nice American wife to marry me and decorate my apartment for me instead of you? What time will you come tomorrow?'

‘About five. I'll let myself in and wait for you.'

‘I'll be there,' he said. ‘I wish it was now. I wish we could go back together now.'

‘So do I,' she said. ‘Please, please, Karl, go away before Bob gets back to us. I can't bear having you both together.'

‘Can't you come downstairs, can't you slip away for a minute? I want to hold you, I want to kiss you – come down in the elevator with me – you can come back.'

‘My God,' she said, ‘there's Joe Kaplan just come in. Darling, we'll have to wait. We can be together tomorrow for a long time. We can make love as often as you want tomorrow. I don't want him to see us together. Please go away now.'

‘You're right,' he said. ‘Until tomorrow, my darling. I'll be there waiting for you.' They shook hands again, and she saw Joe coming towards them as Amstat tried to ease away. He didn't succeed because Kaplan deliberately blocked his path.

‘Hi, Karl – you have to rush away so soon?' He stood in front of Amstat, with his wife beside him. They had met often in the last few months. It was normal to stop and talk for a moment.

One thing he and Terese had agreed between them: no one must suspect that she had got her memory back. The most likely to detect a change was the man who had made her lose it originally; that was what made Terese afraid of him now, and that was why he felt so uncomfortable standing talking to the man, against his will.

‘Are you very busy right now?' Kaplan asked. ‘I often wonder whether architects are nine-to-five men like the rest of the professions. Except medicine, of course.'

‘Yes.'

Vera Kaplan was beside them now, smiling maliciously from one to the other of them, not knowing which one to attack first.

‘Always on call, aren't you, Joe? Such a bore, I find it. Nobody asks you to dinner when you're always running off in the middle of the soup, or you're an hour late getting there. Architects aren't like that, are they, Karl? They must get plenty of time off.'

‘If we do, it's a very bad sign,' he said coldly. ‘Personally I'm glad to say I'm very busy. I even work at home.'

‘Something interesting?' Kaplan asked. ‘In New York?'

‘I'm doing a department store and office block in Chicago,' Amstat explained. ‘I make a trip down there once or twice a month if necessary, but most of it is done here.'

‘How nice.' Vera smiled up at him.

He had never met a woman he disliked more; it almost made him feel sorry for the Jewish doctor, being married to her.

‘You must come round and have dinner one evening. We keep meeting all the time, and we've never gotten down to inviting you. Would you like me to ask Julia? Or is there anyone else you'd like to bring along?'

‘I can't think of anyone,' he said. He spoke directly to Kaplan. ‘I should be delighted to visit you, at any time. And I would be most happy to have Julia with me. She's still one of the nicest women I've met in New York. So many of them are such bitches. Forgive me, I have a dinner engagement, and I must go. I'm late already.'

‘Nice to have seen you,' Kaplan said. ‘We'll do that – we'll fix something, as you're going to be in New York all the time. Within the next month, maybe? I have a medical conference in ten days, so that ties me up a little, Vera'll call you.'

‘I'll look forward to it.' He made no mistakes this time. He gave them a casual American wave and pushed his way through to the hallway.

‘Vera'll call you …' she said. ‘Like hell I'll call the bastard! Did you hear the crack he made at me!'

‘You asked for it, honey,' Joe said. ‘You can't cut slices out of people without them cutting back. And I didn't ask him to dinner – you did!'

‘I wanted to embarrass him, that's why,' his wife said. ‘I wanted to let him know we knew what he and Joan of Arc over there are doing in their spare time. He's just a bloody Kraut, who's ashamed to admit it.'

‘That's one thing I wouldn't go round saying,' Kaplan said. ‘That could land you in court. You better be careful, Vera, that's something different from telling everyone he's sleeping with Terese – oh, I know you've had a ball with that story. But you say he's pretending to be Swiss and you're impugning him professionally. He could take you to the cleaner's for damages; I have a hunch he's just the kind who'd do it, too.'

‘Well, you thought he was lying, when I told you,' she said. ‘You agreed with me, he was a phoney.'

‘I'm not so sure,' Joe said. ‘Maybe he was mixing up the hotels; maybe you were – I'm pretty sure he's Swiss. I can smell a German a mile off. He's not one. Come on, let's stop arguing about it and say hello to Bob and Terese; they're right there.'

‘I can't wait,' she said.

Joe caught hold of her arm and she stopped. ‘Don't start anything there,' he said very quietly. ‘Not one crack, Vera, not one word, do you hear?'

She glared up at him. ‘Still protecting her? Still in love with her, are you?'