The Renegades (Book 5): United (3 page)

“Why do you do that?”

She frowned. “Do what?”

“Just cast things off as though they don’t matter to you?”

She laughed and splashed some water over me.

“Come on, let’s swim out further.”

“No. Tell me what you are thinking.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it does,” I replied.

“What? Just because Jess kicked up a fuss, you think I should too?”

“No, I don’t—”

“Then that’s the end of that,” she replied.

We continued swimming out a bit further when a sudden, and enormous explosion erupted. Both of us whirled around to see a cloud of smoke and an inferno of flames shooting up into the night sky. It was followed by another, then fireballs fell like rain.

“That’s coming from section A.”

I
t was
pandemonium in the streets. By the time we came out of the house with assault rifles in hand, trucks were zipping past us on their way to section A. We dived into a jeep and the wheels spun in the dirt as I gunned the engine.

An amber glow came from beyond the homes that lined the street.

What we came upon when we arrived was mass devastation. The main building that housed those who initially came in was gone. In its place, fire cut into the night sky. Bodies lay on the ground, some unmoving, others were still alive screaming in pain.

I grabbed a large blanket from the back of the jeep and threw it over a young girl whose face and half of her head had been burned down to the bone. A team of military were using small portable extinguishers to put out whatever they could.

The girl’s screams were deafening. The chances of her surviving were slim to none. Three doctors in the entire place and only one was on site. Others had been trained but even then they weren’t prepared for this kind of trauma. They were all overwhelmed.

I couldn’t stay with the girl long before moving on to the next. There were too many covered in fire. Both Wren and myself along with others were doing as much as we could to put out the flames on the injured.

After ten minutes my gaze drifted across the gruesome sight. It had been twelve months since any of us had seen this level of trouble. I felt mentally out of shape, unfocused and after all the drink we had consumed, barely able to function. Like a fish flopping around on a dock, I was out of my element.

Staring. That’s all I could do. In that moment I froze.

“Johnny,” Wren shouted but it was barely heard among all the screams for help.

Young, old, all the faces of agony stared back. I placed my hands over my ears to block out the screams. I don’t know what broke inside of me that evening but I couldn’t bear to look at the horror any longer. I slowly backed up. Then turned and ran. All of the courage I had before fell away like skin melting off charred bones.

Like a salmon swimming upstream, I squeezed my way through those rushing to help. All I wanted was to block out the horror.

* * *

M
inutes turned into hours
, and noise became peace as I sat on the sandy beach looking out across the ocean. Small waves lapped against the shore. I had been there all night, undisturbed until morning. If asked, I wouldn’t be able to articulate what happened. In the past I’d seen the undead and charged into them, I’d stood my ground under the worst conditions. How was this any different?

Why did I turn away?

I picked at the sandy beach grass beside me as it swayed in the wind. Lost in thought I didn’t hear who was coming from behind. I tilted my head to see who it was. Ben stood looking out over the ocean for a few seconds before he took a seat.

Minutes passed before I spoke.

“I just couldn’t handle it,” I said, swallowing hard.

“Now you understand what happened to me in Salt Lake City.”

I shot him a sideways glance.

“Seems strange, doesn’t it, that one traumatic event can flip a switch inside that we thought didn’t exist before. I was used to seeing all manner of horrors on the job. Children abused by parents, animals killed, gang members’ limbs chopped off and women raped. I always had a strong stomach, my buddies would say. But seeing the undead tear into people. There was something about that which paralyzed me.”

“But this wasn’t the undead.”

“It doesn’t matter, Johnny. It was helplessness. At least that’s what I’ve come to call it. When I saw my men being torn apart I didn’t know what to do. It was like I was experiencing mental overload. So much happening all at once, my senses just shut down. I froze. Like you did last night.”

“I tried to help, but there were too many. And the screams.”

“It’s hard, isn’t it?”

“I ran.”

“Back in the city, I locked myself in a room,” Ben said.

“It makes me a coward.”

He chuckled. “No, Johnny. It makes you human.” He tossed some of the sand in front of us. “What would worry me is if you weren’t affected by any of it.”

“But none of them were.”

“What, because they didn’t run?” He picked up a reed. “We all respond differently. It doesn’t take much. Way back when I was in high school I remember sitting in a science class and being shown a video on cuts. The teacher at the time said if anyone felt queasy, just to head out. I laughed it off. Hell, I’d seen some messed-up stuff. Broken ankles, bones sticking out and all manner of injuries from kids roughhousing. But that day. Well… let’s just say I never made it to the door on time.”

I smirked. “You fainted?”

He nodded. “And I became a cop. The good news is it hasn’t happened since. And man, I’ve seen some messed-up things over the years. So there’s hope for you.”

He patted me on the knee. “When you’re ready, come on back. I’m at Ethan’s house. We’ll have some coffee.”

I nodded. The thought of returning. The embarrassment. Did it even matter? There were innocent people dead and I was moping around like a bitch.

“Hey, Ben. What caused it?”

He shook his head. “They are still trying to figure that out.”

I stayed out there for about another half an hour before I trudged back feeling like a total idiot. Could twelve months away from the horrors we’d faced have softened me up? Maybe I needed to get back out there. Going on runs was one thing. Like watching too many gory movies, the undead no longer held the same fear as they once did. While we recognized the danger, our minds had got used to seeing Z’s shuffling along. We had seen even fewer of the mutated ones. Baja thought they had either died, which seemed absurd to me as they were already dead, or his other bright idea was that they were too busy having a zombie orgy under the ground. I went with the first; it sounded the most plausible out of the two.

As I made my way towards Ethan Winthorpe’s home, I passed those who had worked through the night to put out the fire. Their faces were blackened by smoke. A look of shock locked their eyes ahead.

That was something I noticed about being part of the community versus our tiny group. More people meant that few noticed what one person had or hadn’t done. Just like it was in Castle Rock before all of this kicked off. Everyone was so into their own drama, goals, hopes, failures and disasters that they rarely stopped to cast a glance your way.

There was no embarrassment to be felt as everyone’s mind was preoccupied by what they had seen.

I strolled up to the massive estate that I had stayed in when we first arrived. It was a stunning home that would have cost a complete fortune. A group stood outside smoking and chatting about what they had seen. I passed by them like a ghost.

Inside, Rowan, Jess and Izzy were talking to the leader of district seven.

Ethan dealt with district one.

Sebastian, district two.

Noah, three.

Alexander, four.

Annora, five.

Imara, six.

Keren, seven.

Eyes washed over me without a word spoken. I perceived them as judging, though it could have been anything. So much of how we perceived others was filtered through the way we viewed ourselves.

I felt terrible. Other must think the same, and so on.

Rowan smirked like usual. But that was to be expected. The guy was a prick. In the burgundy-colored dining area, seated around the huge table with twelve red-and-cream striped chairs, was the rest of the leadership, along with Ben, Elijah, Baja and anyone else who could cram into the little space available.

“Then tell me where they are?” Ethan said

“We don’t know,” Imara replied.

“I would like to know how they managed to get explosives into the building without being frisked.”

“Their weapons were taken and we assumed that someone had patted them down.”

“Obviously not.”

Ethan’s eyes met mine for a brief second before returning to the others. I could tell he had a lot weighing on his mind. The stress of leadership wasn’t something I would have been willing to take on. If it didn’t go to your head, it would eventually cause people to turn on you. One person couldn’t please everyone. There would always be those who felt you could do better, speak better, write better and lead better. But the truth was, it was all subjective. What was foolish to one was greatness to another.

“Did anyone manage to extract information from them? What group they came from? How they happened to end up in Paradise?”

“I can answer that,” I said. Heads turned. The leadership shifted in their chairs.

“We came across them in the city. They held us up and probably would have taken the load we had. My guess is they operate alone.”

“And who decided they should return?” Alexander asked.

“It’s part of the agreement,” Ethan reminded him.

“Ah yes, the one that not all of us agreed with,” Sebastian said.

“I don’t have to remind you that the majority voted, that any and all that were found, whether hostile or not, were to be given the chance to return to Paradise,” Annora said.

“Right, because you think a hostile can change,” Sebastian replied.

“You did,” she spat back. “Or would you have rather we left you in the hole we found you in?”

He sneered.

A murmur spread across the group. Why Sebastian had been given the chance to lead a district was still a mystery to me. The guy was an asshole. While I understood the idea of having seven leaders overseeing the needs of others and then in turn voting on what was best for all, it still didn’t ring true for me. We were told that the people had chosen who should be leaders. What people? Not our people. We had arrived after the fact.

“Enough with the squabbling. This isn’t getting us any further towards understanding how they managed to detonate explosives inside,” Ethan said.

“Explosives?” I muttered.

They all looked at me as if I’d had my head under a rock for the past several hours.

“We need to reassure the people. Let them know that it’s still safe here in Paradise,” Imara said.

“Agreed.”

“But can we be sure?”

“We’ll tighten up security on the access points. No one gets in without being patted down.”

“I thought that was already the rule, or have you become lax in governing district one, Ethan?” Sebastian said with a tone that seemed almost belittling.

“You focus on your district, Sebastian, I will govern mine.”

“That’s all well and good. But what happens when our district is affected by the way you run yours? Let’s face it. Your job is to protect and oversee the two access points and section A. Now part of that lies in ruins. It doesn’t speak well of your ability, now does it?”

Murmurs spread.

“Sebastian,” Annora reprimanded him. “That’s enough.”

“I’m only saying what everyone is thinking.” He cast his eyes around the room. “Our districts are only as safe as those who are protecting the access points. District one has two points of entry. District five has one. We have none.”

“District five does not have one. Shelter Island is fully contained and cleared. There is not, and will never be a threat there unless an attack comes from the water. And far as I have seen, Z’s don’t swim,” Annora replied confidently.

“I’m just saying. There needs to be more attention given to district one.”

“And how do you suppose we do that, Sebastian?”

“Maybe you have bitten off more than you can chew, Ethan.”

“And you think you could do better?”

“I don’t think. I know. I could run one and two without these kind of issues.”

“Would you listen to yourselves?” Alexander said. “This is not about who can do a better job. It’s about reassessing where our weak spots are, fortifying and adding additional security where it’s needed. If that requires more people living in district one, then I am more than willing to tell the five hundred in district four that we will be moving. There are more than enough homes to house us.”

“Why should anyone have to move?”

“Better question, why is everyone divided?” I asked.

“Don’t interrupt,” Sebastian said.

“Really?” I replied.

“You would do well to keep your tongue in check,” he said without even looking at me.

“And you would do well to shut the fuck up for once and listen to them,” I said.

He glared at me along with several others from his district.

“Are you going to allow this, Ethan?” he said casting a glance over everyone who had also grown tired of his rants. Ethan’s chin dropped then he looked at me.

“Johnny,” Ethan said reluctantly. “Apologize.”

“For what? Having a voice?”

“You get to air your voice, every three months,” Sebastian said.

I let out a laugh. “What is this place coming to? Is this it? This is humanity’s attempt at rebuilding? No wonder we all screwed up. Everyone wants to be the chief, but nobody wants to be an Indian.”

“Actually that’s not politically correct now,” someone said.

“Oh fuck what’s correct. There is no correct way of doing things. It’s all subjective. We’re lucky we are all still alive.”