Authors: Wanda E.; Brunstetter
“I’m glad we could all be together.” Ben paused, taking a slow, deep breath. Giving her fingers a gentle squeeze, he said, “I was wondering if you’ve thought any more about my marriage proposal.”
Elaine swallowed hard. Truth was, she had thought about it but wasn’t ready to give him an answer. Being with Ben was like wearing a comfortable pair of slippers. But when she looked at him or he touched her, she didn’t feel any sparks or tingles of anticipation. Ben was more like a big brother. If she married him, he would be a good provider, kind, and nurturing, but was it enough? In order to say yes, shouldn’t she feel something more—something like she felt when she was being courted by Jonah? If she and Jonah might get back together, she wouldn’t consider marrying Ben. But Jonah might never feel ready to marry again. Besides, the love he’d felt for her had ended when he married Sara.
“Your silence makes me wonder if you don’t want to marry me.”
Elaine jerked her head. “It–it’s not that. I just need a little more time. Marriage is an important decision—not to be taken lightly.”
“You’re right, and if you’re not ready to make that commitment, I understand.” Ben let go of her hand. “Would you rather I stopped seeing you, Elaine?”
“No, Ben. I enjoy your company.”
“But you don’t love me. Is that it?”
“I… I care for you, Ben. But I’m not sure what I feel is love.” Elaine held her elbows tightly against her sides, unable to look directly at him.
“Maybe after we’ve courted longer, your feelings will change.”
Ben’s tone sounded hopeful, and maybe he was right. “Jah,” she murmured. “Sometimes love needs a chance to grow.”
“You’re right. When you make a decision, please let me know.”
“I will.”
Elaine remained quiet the rest of the way home. She felt bad stringing Ben along, but if she didn’t keep seeing him, she might never know if he was the one. If she said yes to his proposal now, one or both of them might regret it later on. One thing was certain: she didn’t want to hurt Ben.
Lord, I need Your guidance. Please show me what to do.
Leah smiled, watching Adam with Linda and Amy on either side of him and Carrie curled up on his lap. They’d had a wonderful Christmas Eve, just the five of them. After a delicious dinner of baked chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, homemade rolls, and a platter of fresh vegetables, everyone had helped with the cleanup. Then they’d all bundled up and taken a walk toward the fields behind the property. While they sang Christmas carols, Coal bounded ahead, with snow flying off his feet. At times the dog would stop to bury his nose in the snow, most likely because of a scent he’d picked up. As far as the eye could see, the radiance of light had illuminated every object. Leah still remembered the smell of wood smoke permeating the air.
Returning to the house, where it was warm and toasty, Leah had fixed hot chocolate and popcorn; then they’d gathered in the living room to listen to Adam read the Christmas story. Even Coal joined them, lying near the fireplace with his nose between his paws.
Like most children on Christmas Eve, the girls had been wound up but were getting sleepy now, and they would soon need to be tucked into bed. Tomorrow they’d visit Leah’s folks for the day and enjoy Christmas dinner. Leah’s brother, Nathan, and his family would be there, too. The girls got along well with Leah’s parents and had recently started calling them “Grandma” and “Grandpa.”
As much as Leah looked forward to being with everyone, she couldn’t imagine feeling any more joy than she did now. Adam looked relaxed with his nieces clustered around him, and Leah was content just watching the scene. The only thing that would make it any better would be if Cora could have been here to spend Christmas with her son and granddaughters.
Leah had a hard time understanding how Cora could have left her Amish family so many years ago. But from talking with Cora, it wasn’t hard to figure out how much the poor woman regretted it. How long must a person pay for mistakes they’d made years ago? Leah could only imagine how much it hurt Cora to have her son reject her like this. But Adam and his sister had been rejected, too—not to mention Adam’s father. No matter how one looked at the situation, it was horrible. The selfish mistake Cora had made back then was coming back at her, full circle.
Leah wouldn’t push Adam to forgive his mother, however. If he and his mother were going to establish a relationship again, it had to be his decision.
Hope welled in Cora’s soul as she stared at the twinkling lights on their artificial tree. In addition to Jared’s friend Chad returning home to his family, she’d gotten a call from her Realtor yesterday morning, saying an offer had come in on her house in Chicago. The offer was fair, so she’d accepted it without reservation. Once the deal closed and Cora received the money, she’d look for a house to buy in this area—something bigger and more updated than their tiny rental. Maybe by next Christmas she’d be able to get a real tree; perhaps a potted one that could be planted in the yard in the spring.
“Are we gonna open our Christmas presents now, Mom, or did ya plan to stare at the tree the rest of evening?”
Jared’s question drove Cora out of her musings, and she turned to face him. “Sorry. I was lost in the moment.”
“Yeah, I could tell.”
“We can open gifts now, but wouldn’t you rather wait until tomorrow morning?”
He shook his head. “We’ve always opened gifts on Christmas Eve.”
“True, but it might be nice to do something different this year. We could start a new tradition.” Cora’s mind flitted back to the last Christmas Eve she and Jared had spent in Chicago, when she was still married to Jared’s father. The three of them had sat around their stately tree, drinking hot cider, eating open-faced sandwiches, and opening the mounds of presents under the tree. Evan had spared no expense when it came to buying gifts. Cora thought his gifts were too lavish and they were spoiling Jared, but she never said a word. Evan was king of his domain, and since he made the bulk of the money, Cora seldom questioned his financial decisions. Now, even though Evan paid child support, money was tight, and Cora had been forced to learn the art of penny-pinching.
“You’re phasin’ out on me again.” Jared nudged Cora’s arm. “I like our old traditions. Let’s open our gifts now.”
“Okay.” Cora picked up a gift and handed it to him.
Jared’s nose wrinkled when he opened the box and pulled out a pairs of jeans and two shirts. “Aw, Mom, you know how I hate gettin’ clothes for Christmas.”
“With the way you’ve been growing, you really need them.” Cora placed another gift in Jared’s lap. “See what you think of this.”
Jared tore the paper aside and let out a whoop when he opened the smaller box. “My own cell phone! Thanks, Mom!” He leaped out of his chair and gave Cora a hug. “Now here’s a gift from me.” Jared grabbed a gift bag from under the tree and handed it to her.
Cora figured he’d made something or picked it out at the Dollar General. Instead, she discovered a birdhouse made to look like an Amish buggy.
“Since we live in Amish country and you enjoy watchin’ the birds so much, I thought you might like this.” Jared grinned.
“It’s a wonderful gift, but where did you get the money to buy it?” Something this precise was obviously not made by Jared. Besides, he didn’t have the tools necessary to build anything like this.
“I’ve been workin’ at Beachy’s Hardware Store the last two weeks so I could earn some money.” Jared slumped in his chair. “Sorry for lyin’ to you about workin’ on a project with Scott. I wanted your gift to be a surprise.”
Cora’s heartbeat picked up speed. “You—you’ve been working at Adam Beachy’s?”
He bobbed his head. “That’s where I bought the birdhouse.”
Cora gulped. Did Adam know who Jared was? “I appreciate you wanting to get me a nice gift, Jared, but what you did was wrong. And I can’t imagine Mr. Beachy hiring you without my permission. You’re still a minor.”
Jared hung his head. “I asked a friend at school to write a note for me. She signed your name.”
Cora’s mouth dropped open. “I can’t believe you would do such a thing, Jared. Didn’t you know what you were doing was wrong?”
“Calm down, Mom. Your face is red. I know what I did was wrong, but I thought you’d appreciate that I bought the gift with my own money. Money I worked hard for, by the way.”
“I am proud of you in that respect, but I can’t condone your deceit.” Cora’s hands shook as she set the birdhouse on the coffee table. “Did Mr. Beachy say anything about me?”
“Yeah. When I went there with Scott to ask for a job, he said I’d have to get one of my parents’ permission.”
“How did this so-called friend of yours sign my name?”
“Mrs. Finley.”
“Is that all? She didn’t include my first name?”
Jared shook his head. “Why does that matter?”
“It—it doesn’t, I guess.” Cora’s mind filled with scattered thoughts. If the note Jared gave Adam was only signed “Mrs. Finley,” then Adam wouldn’t have realized Cora was Jared’s mother. The day she’d spoken to Adam on the road and revealed that she was his mother, Cora hadn’t mentioned her last name was Finley now.
Massaging her pulsating temples, Cora made a decision. After work on Monday, she would stop by Adam’s store and tell him about Jared. If she didn’t reveal the truth, it was bound to come out sooner or later. Now she needed to figure out how and when to tell Jared.
I
wish your folks could have joined us today.” David’s grandma placed a pitcher of grape juice on the table and took a seat beside him. “It doesn’t seem right them spending Christmas in Chicago with their friends instead of here with family.”
“It’s probably for the best.” David’s face tightened. “If Dad and Mom were here right now, Dad would hound me to go back to school, and everyone’s Christmas would be ruined.”
Gramps nodded. “Although it would have been nice to have our son and his wife here today, I think you’re right. We don’t need a repeat of what happened when they came here after your accident.”
If Mom and Dad were to find out I’m thinking of joining the Amish church, they’d really be upset.
David bowed his head.
Please, God, give me the courage to tell Gram and Gramps. I pray they’ll support my decision.
When David opened his eyes, he noticed his grandparents’ inquisitive expressions. “What’s wrong? Why are you both looking at me like that?”
“Were you praying, Davey?” Gram asked.
“Yes.”
“But we usually pray out loud before our meals.”
“I was praying the Amish way. Besides, we already prayed out loud.” David poured some juice into his glass and took a drink. “This is good stuff, Gram. Is it some you made from the grapes in your yard?” He liked having grape juice with dinner. It was a nice change from water or milk.
She nodded slowly. “What made you decide to pray the Amish way?”
He took another drink and swallowed it down. “I’m practicing.”
Gramps’s brows furrowed. “Practicing for what?”
“For the day I become Amish.”
“What?” his grandparents questioned.
Before he could lose his nerve, David explained his decision.
“When did you come up with such a crazy notion?” Gram’s voice rose as she leaned closer to David.
“I’ve been mulling it over quite awhile, actually.”
“But why?” Gramps asked.
“I’m sick of the English rat race. I’m ready to live a simpler life.”
“Your grandfather and I live a fairly simple life, and we didn’t have to go Amish to do it.” Gram clenched her fists, something she did when she wanted to make sure she got her point across.
“I know, but it’s not the same. You still have modern conveniences in your home, and you both drive a car. The Amish—”
“We know how the Amish live,” Gramps interrupted. “We’ve lived among them a good many years.”
Gram placed her hand on David’s arm. “There are so many changes you’d have to make—not just giving up modern conveniences, but learning to drive a horse and buggy.”
“Don’t forget learning a new language,” Gramps chimed in.
“I realize it won’t be easy, but the only way I’ll know if the Amish way of life is right for me is if I try to make a go of it.”