The Retreat (21 page)

Karen was not finished with the painting. Looking at the unfinished masterpiece caused her to pick up a brush and start to work the outside of the woman's robe.

Quincy followed her and linked his hands with hers as she guided the brush up and down. He inhaled her cocoa scent and fought with every fiber of his being not to kiss her shoulder. Karen would live and die a hopeless romantic; this was one thing that Quincy was certain of, and he envied her for her optimism.

“You never signed the paper,” Karen said.

Quincy had never been a quitter, even though he quit on his marriage.

“I wasn't ready. I just let everyone think that I did,” Quincy said.

“You haven't called or come by.” Karen put the paint brush down and took a seat on the bottom steps.

“I wasn't ready for that either. I needed time to put things together, and even now, I'm still confused,” Quincy said. He looked at Karen, who signaled with her eyes for him to continue. “I don't like to lose anything, no matter if it's a business deal or a poker game or a marriage. When I lost you, it made me feel like I wasn't good enough for you; like I wasn't man enough for you.”

“But you were good enough for me.”

Quincy placed his finger over his lips to signal for Karen to stop talking. “I didn't know that, and as a result I went into a spiral of bad habits. Drinking and gambling. But none of those things brought me closer to you. Everything I did I did for you, because you made me feel like I could do anything.”

Karen walked over and embraced Quincy. He could not continue to fight the truth. The truth was that everything he did was for his wife and nothing mattered without her.

“I missed your embrace,” Karen confessed.

“I've missed holding you too,” Quincy said.

Tears started to well up in Karen's eyes. “When you stopped holding me, I started to help out in ministry. When you stopped making love to me, I joined the choir.” Karen started to cry.

“You got more involved in church because I wouldn't spend time with you?”

“I said that I would never hold you back and I didn't want you to feel that way. So I suffered in silence while you built your skyscrapers. You promised to provide for me, and you did, but that wasn't enough.”

The last six months had finally put Quincy in a state where he could bear to hear the truth spoken and not bail out or get angry. Quincy chose to sit beside his wife on the bottom steps.

“From the moment I found that cell phone, I've been on a mission to reclaim what I've lost. I thought I lost the adventurous side of life. Really I lost the most precious side, which was you,” Quincy confessed.

Karen leaned her head on his shoulder and Quincy gave her a kiss on her forehead.

“It's a long journey to get back to where we were,” Quincy said.

Karen gave him a kiss. Quincy was overwhelmed with desire for Karen. She lay back on the stairs and Quincy kissed her neck. She let out a moan and then Quincy knew he had reclaimed what he had missed.

“I'm not ready to give up on us just yet,” Quincy admitted.

“You had a change of heart?” Karen asked quizzically.

“No, that's just the thing; my heart has always belonged to you. I just got distracted.”

Karen continued to kiss Quincy. Those kisses were more than just simple acts of pleasure. What Quincy thought he had lost had resurfaced. It conveyed that this time things would be better. That this time things would be different. That this time, they would go the distance.

Eight months later…

Drew Brees was an awesome quarterback, and with Jamal controlling him on Madden, Brees became spectacular.

“Can I see?” Jamir reached for the remote.

“Naw, little man, Daddy is playing right now. First rule in life: don't ever interrupt a man while he's playing Madden.”

Jamal could tell from the confused look on his son's face that he did not understand what he was saying, but Jamal knew that years down the road he would find the wisdom in his father's words.

“Babe, what do you think about these invitations?” Chantel held up two different designs of invitations.

“They're beautiful, babe.” Jamal continued to play.

“You ain't even looking!” Chantel nudged Jamal with her elbow.

Sure enough, she was right. Jamal was unaware that Chantel had sat next to him with the wedding invitations in her hand. Everything was moving so fast for him. He and Chantel went from being parents to Jamir to being engaged in the same breath.

Jamal could not question God's timing and he felt that he had everything he wanted. He had his relationship with God, his relationship with Chantel and Jamir, and finally his career at Pinnacle Sportswear. Of course, at the rate that Chantel was spending money on their September wedding, Jamal hardly saw a dime of his new salary.

“What are you thinking about?” Chantel asked.

“Nothing!” Jamal sounded irritated.

That was a knee-jerk response for all men. The truth was that so many things were running through Jamal's mind at once that he did not know how to process it, let alone articulate it to Chantel. “Nothing,” was a less complicated response, and Jamal felt the need to be less complicated, especially with the Saints being on the ten yard line about to score.

“Babe, can you pause the game for a second?” Chantel requested.

Jamal paused the game to avoid an argument. Soon after he and Chantel announced their engagement, they enrolled in marriage counseling. Neither one of them had had great examples of a healthy marriage growing up. One of the first things Jamal learned in marriage counseling was not to deliberately do something that would annoy his spouse. That seemed like common sense and practical enough.

“All right, babe, what's going on?” Jamal placed his arm around Chantel's shoulder and she rested her head on his shoulder.

“I keep waiting for the bottom to drop out. Happiness like this is too dangerous. It makes you careless and it leaves a bunch of broken hearts in its wake.”

“It can't rain all the time. Let's just keep God first in our marriage and family, and trust that God will always bring us back to this place of happiness whenever we get lost.”

Jamal reassured his fiancée with a kiss on the crown of her head, while Jamir got a hold of the remote and un-paused the game.

“Oh, no!” Jamal snatched the remote from Jamir.

He would have chastised Jamir about playing with Daddy's remote, but he did not have the time. He and the guys were supposed to hang out tonight, which was the occasion on virtually every Friday night. Chantel got up and walked over to the dining room table with her invitations in hand. The only things on Chantel's fingers were her French-manicured nails. Not many women would accept being engaged without a ring to show for it.

Her bare hands were the spark of many conversations throughout the church, but Jamal did not care what the congregation thought. Chantel knew that he was saving up money to buy a townhouse for her and Jamir. Chantel would have accepted a ring from the candy machine as her engagement ring. But he had a better idea.

“Babe, I got you some Cracker Jacks,” Jamal said to Chantel.

Chantel jumped up and ran to the pantry next to the kitchen and pulled out a large box of her favorite snack. Chantel stuffed her face with the caramel popcorn. Jamal could barely contain himself from laughter. She even managed to hand some down to Jamir, who ran over and extended his hands toward his mother. It was like he was trying to catch raindrops.

Of course, the moment Jamal had waited for arrived when Chantel noticed that the ring that served as a prize was not a toy. With her mouth full of popcorn, Chantel opened the small velvet box to reveal a three-karat princess-cut diamond engagement ring. Timing was everything, and Jamal always said that he would give the ring to his fiancée when she least expected it.

Chantel covered her mouth with her free hand and started to jump up and down. Jamir started to jump up and down in reaction to his mother.

“Oh my God! But how?” she screamed with excitement.

“It's like that song says: ‘if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it.'”

Chantel started to mimic the dance from the famous Beyoncé video, and at that moment, Jamal knew he would regret saying something as corny as that.

 

Chauncey was having a wonderful time in the Lord on his date with Nina Mosley. She was the head usher at Greater Anointing. They had just attended a gospel concert with BeBe Winans as the headliner, and they decided to partake in dinner at a local seafood restaurant.

“I just love the Apostle Paul. I mean, he was a soldier and a prisoner of the Lord,” Chauncey said.

“My favorite person in the Bible was Esther,” Nina replied.

Chauncey found that peculiar, since Esther was in only one book in the Bible. To be honest, Chauncey questioned the importance of having this book in the Bible, since he did not get any great revelations from it. Of course, Chauncey would never say this out loud. He would leave his objections to the story of Esther for his private consumption. The Apostle Paul, on the other hand, had authored the majority of the New Testament; why wouldn't anyone find him fascinating?

The server brought out their dinner. Chauncey kept his Southern tradition of eating fish on Fridays. Nina had some shrimp and some scallops.

“This looks delicious. Let us pray over this wonderful meal that the Lord has blessed us with.” Chauncey reached for Nina's hands, but she pulled back and put them up as if she were being robbed.

“I don't believe in physical contact on dates. I'm not trying to let the devil get his foot in any doors,” she warned.

Okay, now Chauncey felt offended. He would not even entertain the idea of doing anything inappropriate with this sanctified woman, even though she wore a V-cut gold blouse that revealed her breasts. Chauncey had to remind himself of his head-to-neck rule: look at a woman from her head, but do not go past the neck. Instead of getting into a purity debate, Chauncey decided to just pray over the meal without holding hands.

“So, how is it doing the great work of the Lord as an usher?” Chauncey asked enthusiastically. He took a bite of his food.

“It's okay.” Nina took a moment to devour a shrimp. “I mean, you wouldn't believe the nerve of some of these members. Here it is, people show up late and they want a seat up in the front next to the pastor. The nerve of these people.”

“Humph, humph. God's not going to put up with this foolishness. They just don't teach any respect or church etiquette anymore,” Chauncey agreed.

“I know.” Nina put her fork down, reached down into her purse, pulled out a full-sized Bible, and opened it right on the table. “It says right here in the Word that everything has to be done in decency and order.”

Chauncey could not believe that Nina had pulled out a Bible and placed it between her silverware and Caesar salad.

“Will there be anything else?” the waiter approached and asked.

“Check!” Chauncey said.

“Cheesecake!” Nina said.

Chauncey was not even interested in making it to dessert. He had met some crazy so-called Christians in his lifetime. Especially when he attended a church that believed in casting out devils through smacking people with the Bible; now those were some crazy folks. Chauncey even heard people refer to him as crazy in certain circles, but he knew that was a lie from the pit of hell.

“You don't want dessert?” Nina asked, and leaned forward so that Chauncey could get a good look at her heart-shaped face and bug eyes.

“No, I think I'm going to have to give the benediction on this date in Jesus' name and go on with my evening.”

Nina was visibly hurt from his words, and Chauncey wished he could have said things in a different way, but the truth was that he did not want to stay on this date any longer.

“Well, okay. Am I going to see you at church on Sunday?”

“Yeah, I'll make sure not to be late.” Chauncey got up and paid the bill. “I really enjoyed the concert.”

“Yeah, me too. I'll see you.”

He thanked God that they had driven separate cars, which was a further indication of how he was not trying to pull any funny business. Chauncey made a beeline toward the exit, and decided that he would give his little sister a call.

“Hello, Bighead! How was your date?” Nicole asked.

“A true Holy Roller.”

“You mean you met someone more spiritual than you?'

“It's almost like she's waiting for Jesus, literally.”

Chauncey knew that comment would warrant chuckles from his beloved sister.

“Well, maybe that's God's way of telling you that you can't be so heavenly minded that you're no earthly good.”

Chauncey saw firsthand how his superior Christian attitude could be a turnoff for most people. He realized that his faith had to be lived out and not spoken. He spent too much time talking about how awesome God was, instead of demonstrating it in his actions.

“I don't know if this dating thing is for me. I think it's best if I stay single.” Chauncey rubbed his forehead as he walked along the curb to his car.

“Don't give up. Everybody deserves to be happy and have someone to share their life with. I haven't given up on the idea that there is someone out there for me, neither should you.”

“You're right.” Chauncey entered his car.

“So, where are you going now?” Nicole asked.

Chauncey looked at his watch and realized he still had time to meet up with the guys. He knew that their inquisitive nature would inquire about his first date in seven years. “I'm going to fellowship with my brothers.”

 

It had been a long time since Will studied math. He revisited math when he'd prepared for his GED exam. Now, with his GED, Will found the math applicable to helping Joshua with homework. It felt good for Will to have something positive to offer to his brother other than a hustle. He arranged with his father and mother to let his brother stay with him on weekends.

“Now carry over the one,” Will said to Joshua, who was stuck on a particular problem.

Usually, Will would spend Friday nights with the guys, and Saturday mornings he took his brother to the park to play basketball. Sundays was church and Fatburgers before he took his brother back home.

Will was also learning that it was okay for his brother to struggle with math. The struggle helped make him stronger, and if that philosophy worked in the streets, than why couldn't it work in the classroom?

“All done.” Joshua finished the last problem.

“All right, let's get ready to turn in.” Will rubbed Joshua's head.

Quincy's old condo was a blessing that Will would never stop thanking God for. Quincy subsidized the rent and made it dirt cheap so that Will could still feel like he was paying his way. He had a steady flow of clientele at the shop, and he was known as the barber who did not sit around and socialize with the other barbers, but he handled his business and went home. While he'd seen more money as a car thief, nothing could compare to the feeling that honest work brought.

“Man, I want to roll with you one night. I love hanging out with the guys, especially Jamal. I think I can get him in NBA Live,” Joshua stated.

“Man, don't rush to be grown. Enjoy only having to worry about homework and bedtime. Speaking of which, it's nine-thirty and way past your bedtime.”

Will ushered Joshua into his bedroom, which was next to Quincy's old wardrobe closet. Will did not change a thing when Quincy moved out. Quincy left Will a few start-up suits and ties.

The room was not filled to capacity with suits and ties, but Will had a vision that one day it would be. He would work hard and little by little, he would build. Joshua's room resembled a mini-sports bar. The only things missing were the bar and the chicken wings. He had posters of LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Ray Lewis and Manny Ramirez. He also had a computer desk next to his bed. Will pulled out the desk chair and placed it next to his brother.

Before Will became a Christian, he used to listen to a rapper named DMX, and this guy used to have some deep prayers on his albums. Of course, the songs that preceded the prayer set a record for the use of the N-word. Even still, Will felt he could relate to DMX, and when he became a Christian, he vowed to keep his prayers real and honest.

“Lord, keep a watch over all of us. Keep me and my brother from falling because there are many temptations out there, and in the end we're only human. Lord Jesus, we love you and pray that you can give us the strength and courage to live for you in a corrupted world. In Jesus we pray, Amen.”

“Amen,” Joshua followed.

“I love you, bro.” Will kissed his brother on his forehead, and placed the chair back under the computer desk as he made his way toward the door.

“Love you too,” Joshua said as the lights turned off in the room.

Will did not think that he and his brother could become any closer than they were, but it was possible. A year ago, he would not have told his brother he loved him; that was considered sissy talk. He lived in a world where love was implied and not shown. He definitely would not have kissed his brother, either. Such displays of affection would cause someone to question Will's manhood.

Over the past year Will had learned that so many of the myths surrounding manhood were birthed out of insecurities. Life was too short and he understood that better than most. He was going to tell his brother that he loved him because there would come a day when he wouldn't be able to tell him.