The Reunion Mission (30 page)

“Okay, now suppose he doesn’t stop. I want you to fight him off with anything and everything you’ve learned here. Don’t hold back.” Jan gave a nod to him, and Jonah sucked in a deep breath before closing in on Annie again. Bracing. Hoping.

Come on, Annie. Let me have it.

Raising wide, apprehensive eyes, Annie backpedaled. When he grabbed her arm, hauling her into a restrictive hold, she gasped, tensed.

“Fight back, Annie. Joe won’t hurt you, but a real attacker would. You can’t be afraid to inflict some damage yourself.”

Annie struggled some, tried a puny jab or two with her elbows. Jonah tightened his grip and stumbled back a step with her, simulating a kidnapping. “Get in the car,” he grated in a low voice.

Annie’s breathing grew ragged, fast. She was hyperventilating.

Without waiting for Jan’s directive, Jonah released Annie.

After giving Jonah a quizzical look, Jan noticed Annie’s irregular breathing.

“Annie, are you okay? Calm down. You’re safe here. This is just practice, remember. Do you want to sit down and rest a minute while someone else tries?”

Clutching a hand to her chest, Annie shook her head and fought to slow her breathing. “No. I—I have to try again.”

A mix of concern and admiration swirled in Jonah’s gut. He understood her motivation, knew the need that drove her. But the fear that brightened her eyes made her seem fragile, ready to break.

“You’re sure?” Jan asked.

Lifting her chin and inhaling deeply, she nodded. “Just...give me a second. I...” She shook out her hands and closed her eyes, clearly drawing on her inner strength.

A few members of the class clapped and shouted encouragement. “You can do it.”

“Go get ’em, girl.”

“Hang in there.”

When she opened her eyes and faced him, Jonah saw the same doubts and hesitation. The fear.

And he knew he had to do something. He had to make her dig deep into the well of her buried emotions, had to remind her of what was at stake, had to help her past the hurdle of intimidation her husband had heaped on her.

His heart hurt, even as he did what he knew would galvanize her.

“What’s the matter, bitch? Didn’t your old man ever teach you your place?” he growled from behind the protective mask.

Annie’s head snapped up, alarm blanching her face.

“Your kids are gonna grow up without a mommy, ’cause I’m gonna kill you,” he taunted in a dark growl, hating the pain he knew his barbs caused while praying his tactic worked.

From the periphery of his vision, he caught the stunned, querying glance Jan sent him. He was out of line, breaking protocol.

But he didn’t care. Only Annie mattered. She needed to get past her anxiety, and anger was the best way he knew to trump fear. He tapped into her protective rage. The fury of the injustice done to her. The hostility toward her husband that she’d suppressed for years.

The women watching murmured to one another with expressions of dismay and disgust. Annie gaped at him, quivering, her cheeks flushing, her eyes full of confusion, hurt and horror.

Pain squeezed his chest as he stepped closer and stuck his helmeted face close to hers, grating, “Are you going to let your husband win? Are you going to let fear win? As long as you listen to the doubts he put in your head, you give him power. If you want a better life for yourself and your kids, then prove it.”

Tears sparkled in her dark eyes. But he’d reached her. He saw the instant his message penetrated her fear. Like a light switch flipping on the power to her private reserve of energy and guts, Annie’s gaze lit with passion and determination. Her posture shifted. Her muscles tensed. Her expression filled with raw emotion and fire.

“Now hit me, Annie. Fight for your life, damn it. You deserve to live, and you deserve a good life. Now show me you care. Show me you want to be free of your past.”

Jonah grabbed her around the waist, and she reacted instantly, landing a swift knee to his groin. The blow had power behind it, strength and anger.

Thank God for the protective pads.

“That’s it, Annie. Fight back. Don’t give him an inch,” Jan coached.

Jonah made another move to subdue Annie, and she swung her hand up toward the face mask, demonstrating a nose strike. Jonah’s head snapped back from the unexpected force of the blow. The class cheered.

“Great job,” Jan said. “Who wants to be next?”

He shook off the hit and turned toward Annie. Despite Jan’s dismissal, Annie clearly wasn’t finished with him. She had a lethal glare narrowed on him, and she charged. Again she lashed out with a nose strike, then a strike to his throat.

“Annie?” Jan called to her, concern lacing her tone.

Annie didn’t seem to hear. Jonah recognized the intent, the emotion blazing in her eyes. She’d tapped a wellspring of poisonous memories, and the flow of bitter emotion had rushed to the surface.

He held a hand up, stopping Jan when she tried to approach Annie and calm her. Self-defense techniques dissolved into a flurry of unbridled frustration and hurt and anger. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she swung at him, pounding him with tightly clenched fists. Annie’s grunts of exertion and emotion as she pummeled his protective suit ripped through Jonah’s gut. This catharsis was good for her, he told himself, even as his heart broke seeing her unleash her temper, her suppressed bitterness and sense of helplessness.

After several minutes, when Annie’s rage hadn’t cooled, the first whispers of doubt crept in. What had worked for him when Michael had goaded him to release his bottled-up anger in the gym might not have been the best approach for Annie. Who was he to tell her how to heal?

His heart thundered, and worry wrenched his chest as her meltdown continued. She seemed to have blocked out all but the target of her flailing fists and feet. Teeth gritted, Annie sobbed and snarled and lashed at his chest. Even through the protective suit the force of her blows reverberated through him.

“Jonah, stop her. She’s going to hurt herself,” Jan called to him over the buzz of the stunned women who watched.

“Annie, that’s enough.” He tried to catch her swinging hands, but the protective suit made him awkward.

“You animal! How could you do this to me?” she screamed, her eyes unfocused. He hated to think what horrible beating, what demeaning taunts she was reliving. Seeing her anguish clogged Jonah’s throat with regret and sympathy. Shared pain.

His hand came away with a smear of red on his palm. Blood. Annie’s blood.

She’d opened wounds on her knuckles from the force and frequency of her strikes to the padded suit, but she seemed oblivious to the condition of her hands.

Guilt swelled in Jonah. He’d provoked her, he’d goaded her into this rage. He had to do something to stop her, had to talk her down somehow and be there for the aftershock.

Chapter 14

“A
nnie, stop! It’s over!” Jonah yanked the face mask off, so he could see more clearly. So she could see his face and know who was with her. So he could claim responsibility for his part in her breakdown.

He wouldn’t hide from his part in this.

Her lashes kept coming, though she seemed to be running out of steam.

Around them, he was aware that Jan had dismissed the class and ushered the other ladies out of the gym.

Following her violent outburst, her uncontrolled sobs, Annie gasped for breath. Her final swings were devoid of energy.

“Annie! Annie, listen to me. I’m here. You’re safe. It’s over.” He gently swiped a tear from her cheek. “It’s over, honey.”

Stiffening, she jerked her gaze up, blinked at him. Confusion muddied her expression.

He peeled open the top Velcro fastenings of the padded armor and shucked his arms out so that the pads hung from his waist. Sweat plastered his T-shirt to his chest, but, free of the suit, he could at least breathe easier, move without so much bulk.

“Annie? Are you with me? Are you okay?”

Her breathing was still ragged, and her eyes flashed with turbulent emotions.

Jan crossed from the gym door where she’d seen the class out. She brought an ice pack and a clean rag with her, both of which she handed to Jonah. “Want me to stay, to talk to her?”

He shook his head. “No. I’ll take her home when she’s ready. Go on.”

“You’re gonna be okay, friend.” Jan squeezed Annie’s shoulder, and Annie flinched.

Jonah extended a hand, unsure how he’d be received. “Come ’ere, honey. You’re safe now. Take a deep breath.”

* * *

Slowly Annie’s surroundings sharpened into focus through her tears.

The gymnasium at the police station. The self-defense class. But everyone else was gone. She was alone with “Generic Joe.”

She gave her head a clearing shake. The memories had seemed so fresh, so real.

But Walt wasn’t there.

Jonah was.

She narrowed her gaze on him, wondering if he was another illusion.

Jonah was Joe? He’d been the one taunting her, egging her on to vent her rage?

She rubbed her arms. The air-conditioning blowing on her perspiration-damp body left a chill on her skin. Or maybe the iciness came from the remnants of her flashback, the wake of her tantrum.

She’d really lost it. Snapped. The anger, once she’d allowed it to sneak to the surface, had almost consumed her.

Annie shivered, stunned by the power of the fury and loathing that had washed through her. Fresh tears puddled in her eyes. Would she ever feel normal again? Would Walt always taint her life, even from behind bars? Could she ever heal the deep emotional scars he’d gouged in her soul?

“Annie?”

She raised her gaze to Jonah, who studied her with a dark veil of concern shading his expression. A prick of embarrassment jabbed her. What must he think of her after witnessing her meltdown?

She sniffed and wiped the wet tracks from her face. “Sorry, I—”

“Don’t you dare apologize.” His voice trembled, and she’d have sworn he had tears in his eyes. He stretched his hand toward hers, then gently wrapped his hand around her aching fingers. “Gimme...”

He placed an ice pack on her knuckles, and she winced when she saw the raw scrapes. She felt equally chafed and bleeding inside. Shaken.

Her legs buckled, and she no longer had the strength to stay on her feet. With a weary sigh, she crumpled to her knees. Her shoulders sagged, and she stared at the reddened knuckles in disbelief. The hot well of tears, nudged by shame and frustration, tainted with the bitterness of her marriage to Walt, flowed down her cheeks as she quietly sobbed. She’d gotten good in days past at crying without making any noise. So her children didn’t hear her. So Walt wouldn’t know, wouldn’t make an issue of it.

Jonah sank down on the mats beside her. When he tugged her closer, she didn’t have the energy, the willpower to refuse.

Besides, collapsing against the solid strength of his chest, resting in the embrace of his arms held great appeal. He scooted awkwardly closer, the protective Joe suit impeding him somewhat.

Laying her head against his chest, she listened to the drumming of his heart, steady and soothing. Her fingers curled into his damp T-shirt, while his hands rubbed her back the way she calmed Haley after a bad dream.

Annie closed her eyes, inhaling the musky, masculine scent of his overheated skin, tinged with sandalwood and spice. His fingers combed through her hair and stroked her cheek. Every gentle touch and comforting caress lulled her deeper into a time and place where only the two of them existed.

Her tears slowed as she slowly gained her composure. But as the adrenaline and tension that had fueled her tantrum waned, she found a different source for the rapid beating of her heart, the heady swirl of desire that hummed inside her.

After losing herself to her emotions, scaring herself with how easily she’d lost control, Jonah’s embrace was a safe haven. Had she really found this gentle man intimidating before?

His fingers worked their magic, massaging the tension and tightness from her neck muscles, and she relaxed against him. Wrapping her arms around his chest, she clung to his solid strength like a life raft in a turbulent sea.

The last thing she wanted was to fall back into a position of need, dependency and defeatism that had trapped her in her unhappy marriage. Yet in Jonah’s arms, though she leaned on him now for physical and emotional support, she didn’t feel needy or weak. Jonah gave her peace of mind, encouragement, the affection of friendship.

Or was it more than friendship with Jonah?

She pushed aside the ugly dregs of her flashbacks of Walt’s abuse, of Hardin’s murder, of the attempt on her life, and she concentrated on more pleasant memories. The soft kiss Jonah had surprised her with the day Hardin had been killed. The warmth in his eyes when he’d met her children. The sweet quiver of expectation that rippled through her when he’d lock his penetrating green eyes on her. His gaze said he could see straight through her, knew her darkest secrets and blackest fears...but accepted all her flaws without reservation.

“Better?” he murmured.

She nodded.
Much. Thanks to you.

He shifted slightly, and she realized how long she’d subjected him to a rather awkward position, huddled on the dusty floor mats.

Though her anguish had faded, she wasn’t ready to leave the comfort and sweet refuge of Jonah’s arms, his warm touch.

Unwise though it might be to get involved with another man when her life was in such disarray, she wanted to cherish these few moments alone with him. She wanted to block out the reality of cars trying to mow her down. She needed to forget for a moment the vortex sucking her into the shadow of illegal activity at the diner, and the specter of finding her boss murdered.

“Annie,” Jonah said, breaking the still silence. “Forgive me. I shouldn’t have pushed so hard, sweetheart. I’m sorry.”

His voice cracked, and she tipped her chin back to meet his gaze. The sorrow and compassion she found staring back at her arrowed deep, warming her from the inside out.

“The things you said—”

“Were awful,” he interrupted, regret darkening his eyes. “Hurtful. I’m so sorry. I was just trying to get you mad enough to get past your fear and hesitation.”

She lifted a corner of her mouth in a melancholy grin. “It worked.”

“Too well. I shouldn’t have—”

“I’m glad you did. Maybe this was what I needed. You said boxing, working out on the punching bags was cathartic for you.”

“But we’re all different. Maybe you just needed to leave the baggage in the past and move on. Maybe I did more harm than good. Annie, I never want to hurt you or cause you more pain.”

How could the words
hurt
and
pain
ever be associated with Jonah? She’d never met a man so kind and gentle, so understanding and generous. But his comment made her think, made her dig deep for her own understanding of what it would take for her to feel safe again. When would she feel her life was her own again?

Haley and Ben sprang immediately to mind. Everything she did was for her children, their happiness, their future.

“When I know my children are safe, when I can know they’re provided for and will grow up healthy and happy—” She peered up at Jonah. “That’s all I want.”

A deep crease puckered his forehead. “And what about you? What about your happiness?”

She lifted a shoulder in a tired shrug. “Maybe someday...”

Jonah gripped her chin, and his fierce gaze drilled into hers. “Annie, listen to me. You deserve to be happy every bit as much as your children do. You deserve to seize happiness with both hands and hold on to it. It is your right.”

The passion in his tone and intensity of his magnetic gaze burrowed deep inside her, shook her to her core. “I—I know.”

“Do you?”

The air in her lungs stilled. Could she really find the joy for life she’d had when she was younger? She wanted desperately to reclaim the hope and promise, the simple pleasure life offered.

“Promise me you will go after whatever it is you truly want, whatever it is that will make you happy again, Annie.” Jonah stroked his fingers through her hair until his palm cradled the back of her head. “Promise me you will fight for your happiness.”

Staring into his fathomless eyes, how could she refuse? A fist of bittersweet emotion squeezed her throat. “I promise.”

Jonah dipped his head and touched his lips to hers. The warm caress of his lips spun a sweet pleasure through her blood, and she savored a taste of what that happiness might be. She leaned into the kiss, enticed by the tender persuasion of his mouth.

Jonah angled his head and captured her lips more fully, yet his kiss remained infinitely patient, his touch light and careful.

Annie raised a hand to his shoulder to steady herself and curled her fingers into his damp shirt. The tip of his tongue teased the seam of her mouth, and she opened to him. She was shocked to realize the breathy sigh that whispered through the quiet gym was hers. After a moment, she grew impatient with his caution, his restraint.

Hadn’t he just made her promise to go after whatever made her happy? For a few precious moments, she wanted to lose herself in Jonah’s kiss, in the mind-numbing sensations he stirred and the gentle comfort of his caress. Drawing on the boldness he’d encouraged in her and the assurance that
she was safe with this caring man, Annie slid her hand to Jonah’s nape and pulled him closer, drawing hard, more deeply on his lips.

A satisfied moan rumbled from his chest, filling Annie with a heady sense of empowerment. She’d taken the initiative, and she had elicited that husky growl of pleasure from him.

Though Jonah matched her intensity, he never pushed her past the limits she set. The quiver of restraint in his muscles told her he’d surrendered the pace to her. That evidence of his control gave her the confidence to sink against him and explore the hard ridges of his muscled back with her fingers while her tongue darted into his mouth, testing, seeking more.

Finally, Jonah laid her back on the floor, covering her with his wide body and pressing her into the mats with his weight, his heat. Annie’s heart thrashed against her chest like a trapped animal, her blood rushing past her ears with a deafening whoosh.

He paused long enough to gauge her reaction, his eyes dark with desire, his breath lashing her cheeks with hot, ragged puffs. She answered his unspoken query by raising her mouth to his again and tunneling her fingers into his short, cropped hair.

Jonah raked his palm along her thigh, under the skirt of her waitress uniform. His touch skimmed tantalizingly close to the spot where her body wept for his touch, but his fingers skittered away, raising a delicious shiver on her skin. He moved his hand up along her hip to the dent of her waist, then cupped her breast through the ugly fabric of her uniform. Even with the barrier between them, her nerve endings fired, and her nipple beaded, aching for his touch.

She mewled her approval without breaking their kiss. Jonah had offered her a glimpse of the kind of passion and freedom she’d never had before, and she didn’t want to squander any part of it. The press of his body and the heat of his mouth on hers thrilled her, terrified her, tempted her.

Somehow through the dizzying bliss, a tiny voice whispered to her.

What was she doing? How could she give herself to Jonah and not lose her heart, not set herself up for heartache?

Her head spun, and the thrum of pleasure shouted down the voice of caution and doubt in the back of her brain. Here with Jonah, no one was trying to kill her. She didn’t have to face her mountain of unpaid bills, and she could escape the memories of the man who’d started her life on this downward spiral.

When Jonah moved his kiss to the fluttering pulse at her throat, Annie drew a shuddering breath.

“Annie,” he murmured against her skin. His voice rasped with unspent desire. Jonah raised his head and gulped oxygen. “We have to stop. This is...the wrong time. Wrong place.”

His words slashed through the lusty fog she’d lost herself in, and she blinked her surroundings into focus. A ripple of shock shot through her.

Dear God, had she been ready to make love to Jonah in the middle of the police station gymnasium?

Mortified by the total loss of her senses, she bolted upright. The sweet hum of passion fled, doused by the cold wash of reality.

“Annie?” Jonah placed a soothing hand on her arm as she dragged in the stale air of the gym.

Her pulse pounded at her temples. “Yeah...wrong.”

With his fingers, he angled her chin toward him. “No, I said wrong time and place.” He brushed his thumb along her bottom lip, still swollen from his crushing kiss. “Everything else about kissing you was...nirvana.”

The sound of a door closing down the hall echoed through the empty gym. Glancing in the direction of the noise, Jonah shoved to his feet and extended a hand to help her up. “Let me take you home.”

She inhaled, searching for the shreds of her composure, then clasped his hand.