The Revenge of Dr Von Burpinburger (8 page)

When Eric woke the next morning, his parents had already gone off to work, as usual. What did they care?

‘I sometimes think they wouldn't even notice if I disappeared,' he said to Einstein as they fed the pigeons on the terrace.

‘That's not true,' Einstein replied. ‘They're just very busy.'

‘Yeah,' Eric half-laughed. ‘
Too
busy.' He threw out some cereal to the birds. ‘What about school? We can still skip it if you want.'

They'd talked it over and over in bed the night before, and had decided in the end that they had no choice. Everyone was counting on them: Eric's parents, Mr Growlworthy, Miss Graymouth, the whole school. Everyone.

‘No, we have to go,' Einstein replied. ‘We'd be letting everyone down if we didn't. Anyway, I'm probably wrong.'

‘And if you're not?'

‘We'll just have a real fight on our hands,' Einstein shrugged. ‘We've won them all so far.' He leapt up and began boxing at the air. ‘Don't rouse on this mouse!' He punched at a few pigeons. ‘Don't scrap with this chap. Take that. And that. And that.'

Eric laughed at Einstein's antics. But he also knew that the mouse wasn't nearly as sure of himself as he pretended.

‘Come on, then,' he said, gathering Einstein into his hand. ‘Into battle, brave mouse.'

The pigeons cooed as if they'd been listening to every word.

When Eric arrived at school there were lots of students waiting to greet him. Word had got around that he was to play a special part in the film. He was a star. Some of the bigger boys shook his hand or patted him on the back, and quite a few girls asked for his autograph.

Mr Growlworthy was waiting for him too. ‘Are you ready, Wimpleby?'

‘I guess so, sir.'

‘Just remember: you're an ambassador for the school.' He led Eric across to a small room near the library. ‘Do us proud, lad, and show them what you're made of.'

‘I'll try, sir.'

As they approached the room where the interview would take place, Eric saw the film director and his cameraman waiting. He looked at them carefully, trying to decide if they could really be the doctor and his assistant in disguise. It was impossible to say.

Eric glanced down at Einstein. He was peering at the two men as well. Soon they'd know, one way or the other.

‘Nervous, Wimpleby?' Mr Growlworthy asked.

‘A little, sir,' Eric replied. ‘Actually, a lot,' he added.

‘Don't worry,' the headmaster said. ‘You won't be alone.'

‘Really?' Eric immediately felt a whole lot better.

‘I've arranged for
several
boys to be present,' Mr Growlworthy reassured him.

‘That's great!' Eric whooped. And Einstein definitely grinned.

Then Eric saw who the boys were.

‘In fact, it was all Mr Spoolburg's idea,' the headmaster explained as Nathan Sharp and two of his mates appeared from behind the film director. ‘He even chose the boys himself.'

Eric tried to say something but Mr Growlworthy urged them all into the room.

‘I'm sure it will be a huge success,' he said as he pulled the door shut. ‘And just remember, Mr Spoolburg, that when you finish we have the school assembly in the main hall. I think that would be a fitting end to your documentary. Don't you agree?'

‘Absolutely, Headmaster,' the film director snickered. ‘Absolutely.'

The door closed and the film director burped. Eric knew then that he and his mouse mate were in big, big trouble …

Mouse mate?

What mouse mate?

Eric looked down at his top pocket, expecting to see Einstein shaking and shivering with fear. But he wasn't anywhere to be seen.

Where are you?
' Eric asked using thought-talk. But there was no reply – and in the next moment the film director and his cameraman were standing right in front of him.

‘Got you at last!' The director tore off his wig and coat, and tossed his dark glasses aside. The cameraman did the same.

‘So it
is
you,' Eric cried. ‘Dr von Burpinburger.'

‘At your service, Wimplebottom.'

‘My name's Wimpleby.' Eric might have been frightened, but he was also angry.
This creep is
messing up my life, and he can't even get my name right.
‘Wimpleby, OK?'

‘Who cares what your name is?' the doctor scoffed. ‘Just hand over the mouse and save yourself a lot of trouble.'

‘What mouse?'

‘The one hiding in your top …' The doctor pulled open Eric's pocket and peered in. ‘Where is he? He's always there!'

‘I don't know what you're talking about.'

‘My mouse! Give me my mouse!' The doctor jumped up and down on the spot, burping furiously.

‘Sorry, Dr Burpalot, but I don't have your mouse. He must have escaped.'

The doctor turned to Nathan Sharp and his mates. ‘Search him! And don't bother to be gentle.'

‘With pleasure,' Nathan grinned, and he and his mates grabbed Eric.

But they didn't hold on for long.

There was a squeaky whistle, then the mouse appeared, standing on Nathan's head and poking his tongue out at Nathan's mates. They immediately lunged at the rodent, but Einstein was gone in an instant, and the boys only succeeded in knocking Nathan to the ground.

‘What'd you do that for?' he snarled and punched them both. In a matter of seconds a full-on scuffle had broken out.

This was just what Einstein wanted. As the boys tussled, he popped up in all sorts of places – peeping out of Nathan's pocket, standing on one mate's head, then on the other's shoulder, always vanishing in a flash before anyone could grab him.

‘Good work,' Eric called to his mouse mate. ‘You show 'em!'

Soon Nathan and his mates were tangled in a terrible brawl, punching and kicking and calling each other names. Dr von Burpinburger was beside himself.

‘Do something, Brique!' he commanded.

The doctor's assistant waded in among the boys and began hauling them apart. He was holding up two of the boys, one in each hand, when he suddenly stopped and stood completely still. His
eyes widened, his mouth burst open and he let out an almighty yelp.

‘Ouch!' he yowled. ‘Yow! Yipes! Yikes!' He squirmed sideways and lashed out with his arms and fists as though fighting an invisible enemy. ‘Stop it! Leave me alone!'

Einstein was inside Brique's clothes, biting and scratching him like a hyper viper. Brique leapt into the air and began dancing about as if a whole nest of Bulgonian bull ants was attacking him.

‘Help, Master,' he howled. ‘An evil demon has come among us!'

‘That'll teach you to mess with us,' laughed Eric.

‘You keep out of this,' the doctor shouted as he grabbed at Brique, trying to control him.

But Brique spun out of his grasp, twisting and kicking wildly. The doctor tried to get out of the way, but caught a boot straight up the backside. And a second boot. He turned and ran, but Brique followed.

Round and round the room the assistant chased his master, the doctor burping all the way, Brique spluttering apologies.

‘Sorry, Master. No control.'

Burp, burp!

‘Demon in my underpants!'

Burp, burp, burp!

Eventually they fell in a heap, exhausted, and lay there panting for several moments. When Dr von Burpinburger finally caught his breath, he looked up to see Einstein standing right on top of Brique's head. The mouse was wiggling his paws in his ears and blowing raspberries at the doctor.

‘Come here, you little rat,' the doctor cursed, scrambling to his feet.

But Einstein sprang from Brique's head onto Nathan's shoulder, where he did a little jig before sliding down the boy's back and racing over to the
bookshelf. There he weaved in and out of the books, appearing on one shelf then another, whistling to his pursuers. Finally he scampered across to the door, slipping under it and out into the playground.

‘After him!' the doctor yelled. ‘A thousand-dollar reward!'

There was a mad scramble across the room, and a wild tussle at the door as Nathan and his mates fell over Brique and the doctor to get at the megabuck mouse.

When they did eventually emerge from the room, Einstein was waving to them from the doors of the assembly hall.