The Riches of Mercy (37 page)

"Public access?" Meredith asked.

"I don't see a mansion. I guess so." She tugged Meredith's hand.

Meredith walked with her, trading her hand for her elbow to lean into her shoulder. At the gate onto the dock, Natalie glanced around nervously, but no one appeared to chase them away. No creature stirred.

In the gazebo, Meredith could take in the sight of their cabin, diagonal and close by. And the sky sending orange light to the water's surface, and the trees, and the grasslands. She inhaled, and just as she reached for Natalie, Natalie was there, wrapping herself around Meredith from behind. Meredith covered her hands, feeling secure. She tried to take in the whole universe.

"Merry," Natalie said, close to her ear.

Meredith leaned back.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Meredith turned in Natalie's arms and hugged her again, kissing her, letting it linger, opening her mouth and when Natalie's tongue didn't enter right away, she sought it out, invading, tasting. This is where she wanted to be.

"I want to feel like everything will go wrong," Meredith said, drawing back. "But I can't."

"I don't care if I have to wait two months or two years."

"What if we don't get along?"

"We already know we get along."

"Only when you're crippled."

"Hobble me all you want."

Meredith just pulled her close, tucking her head against Natalie's shoulder. She waited to see if she would cry. She didn't.

Natalie sniffled. Meredith stroked her back. Natalie sniffled again. Then she shook with full-blown sobs, quaking in Meredith's arms, sagging until they sat together on the bench, Meredith rocking her, trying to figure out what to say to her besides, "Hey, hey, it's okay, honey."

Natalie squeezed her eyes shut, breathing hard, but the shaking subsided. "I don't think I'm as strong as you."

"Why?"

"I don't want to let you go. I don't want to wait. I hate all the empty spaces where you should be. I hate them."

Meredith shivered, but she cupped Natalie's cheek. "It's going to be all right."

Natalie nodded.

Meredith stroked her cheek.

"I'm glad you're here," Natalie said.

"You are?"

"Of course."

"Show me."

Natalie kissed Meredith, then brushed away her tears, and tried to get up. "Ow."

"Stiff?"

"Yeah. My butt hasn't been on anything that wooden in a long time."

Meredith chuckled as she slipped an arm around Natalie's waist. Natalie leaned heavily into her. Natalie's leg and side had nearly been crushed, and despite the pins and the surgeries, she would never be the same again. Always misshapen, always close to pain. Meredith was glad Natalie was a lawyer, and not anything else. If she deteriorated, she could still be that.

If Natalie--who Meredith knew, was supposed to be using a cane, but wouldn't, who trained herself not to walk with a limp even though it hurt--had to use a wheelchair, had to let the kids take care of her, hand and foot, Meredith would want to spend every minute with her.

"Nat. I'm not afraid."

"Of what?"

"Of anything."

"Yeah, well, you've been to prison. It hardens a woman."

Meredith laughed. "But you have it worse. I remember what Tarpley was like, alone. Having everyone know what I did. All those people staring."

"Every time I leave the house."

"People in prison are, uh."

"Please don't tell me 'nice.'"

"Not nice, but no one casts the first stone."

Natalie nodded.

They went onto the porch and into the cabin together. Natalie freed herself and hobbled to the bedroom. "Time for your presents."

"Should I wait here?"

"No. Come on in."

Meredith went into the bedroom. Natalie sat on the bed. She held out two child-sized tee shirts. "The boys wore these today, until I left the house. And slept in them."

Meredith took them and pressed them to her face. Her boys. She inhaled deeply. Their smell consumed her. It was all she sensed for long moments. She breathed in.

"They'll be so happy. I told them mommy would be cradling them close tonight."

Meredith held the shirts to her chest. "I wish I could have these on the inside."

"I know. Stupid regulations."

"They just don't want to deal with all the clutter." Meredith rubbed her cheek against soft fabric. "So are these my two presents?"

"No." Natalie scooted back on the bed until she was against the headboard. She picked up a box from the beside table.

"Are those what I think they are?"

Natalie beckoned with the box.

Meredith kicked off her shoes, then leaned over and took off her socks, before crawling up on the bed. "Give me."

Natalie opened the box, revealing six chocolate bonbons.

"Chocolate." Meredith moaned.

"Speaking of things it sucks not to have in prison."

"Whoever enacted that 'public health' law, you have a duty to vote against him."

Natalie groaned. "Please don't talk about the local elections."

Meredith picked up a chocolate, her eyes widening.

"Sorry. It's just Daniel. And Erica. All they care about."

"They're such boring people," Meredith said.

"At least Daniel's watching the kids."

"Can we call later?"

"Absolutely. It's on my itinerary."

"After chocolate?"

"And..."

Meredith grinned. She bit off half and then offered the rest to Natalie. Gooey, dark chocolate filled her mouth. She chewed, letting it coat her mouth, and swallowed, barely noticing Natalie licking her fingers.

Chocolate.

She took another piece. "You brought me chocolate."

Natalie grinned.

"Because you love me."

"Very much."

She bit into the chocolate. Peanuts, this time. She pressed it to Natalie's lips, moving closer. Natalie accepted.

"Thank you," Meredith said.

"Another?"

"One more."

"And then what?"

Meredith rubbed Natalie's stomach. "Then."

Natalie tensed.

"You take some Advil for your leg."

"All right."

Meredith picked a chocolate and nibbled. "Should we take showers?"

"No."

"No?"

Natalie turned, careful not to dislodge Meredith's chocolate, and wrapped herself around Meredith. "Not on your life."

Meredith popped the bonbon into her mouth.

"Hey. Where's my half?"

Meredith chewed, then slid lower on the bed, beckoning.

Natalie leaned over her and kissed her, then let Meredith finish chewing, and swallowing, before pulling her down for another kiss. Natalie settled against her. And winced.

"Advil," Meredith said.

"It takes a long time to kick in."

"Then you'd better get started."

Natalie grumbled and got off the bed, going to her bag. Meredith pulled down the sheets and arranged pillows. Outside, it was gray. Early. But they'd wasted too much time already. She was not willing to be anywhere else.

Natalie kicked off her shoes, and then took off her watch.

"How do you feel?" Meredith asked.

"All right."

"Does driving hurt?"

Natalie glanced away.

"Natalie, I won't make you stop coming."

"I have a process. Going up there I can't wait to see you. And coming back, well, I'm driving on air."

Meredith chuckled.

Natalie stretched back, settling onto the pillows. "Is this where you want me?"

"Yes."

Natalie lowered her eyelashes. "So you can do what to me?"

"What are my choices?"

"Anything you want."

Meredith slouched down onto her elbow, settling her hand on Natalie's stomach for balance. "I could think of a few things."

"Do share."

"When we're home, maybe."

Natalie raised her eyebrows.

"When I've drunk a little more wine."

Natalie grinned.

Meredith kissed her, and it felt so good she moved over Natalie, keeping contact with Natalie's lips, which tugged at hers, opened to her, inviting her into the heat. And then Natalie's arms were around her, holding her close. Meredith wriggled, reveling in the feeling. She found Natalie's tongue and stayed, tracing and tasting, drawn by scent and touch and desire.

She moved to Natalie's jaw, and then to her neck. Her leg moved between Natalie's until her knee found the bed, anchoring her. Linking them together, almost completely, as Natalie took hold of her hips, shifting until they slid together.

"Natalie," Meredith said, as Natalie's hand traced her hip.

"This feels really good."

"Don't stop."

"I don't intend to."

Natalie raised her knees, pressing firmly into Meredith. They moved together, slowly but with purpose. Hips grinding. Arms reaching. Meredith knelt and kissed Natalie again. This kiss was hungry and Natalie cupped the back of her head, intensifying it. Meredith rocked down. And then she was so close. She twisted, sliding to the side, onto the bed again.

"Whoa," Natalie said.

"I just need a minute to catch my breath." Meredith held herself still until she was sure she wasn't going to explode on contact, and then covered Natalie's heart with her hand. "I don't want it to be over too soon."

"You know, we can do it again."

"Oh, we will."

"Merry."

"I'm here." Meredith traced her breast.

"I have an idea."

"Yeah?"

Natalie captured Meredith's hand, stilling it. "Maybe we should get undressed."

"That's a great idea." Meredith sat up. "I'll go first."

"All right."

"And then I'll help."

Natalie grinned. "Whatever you say."

Meredith pulled her shirt over her head.

Natalie's bravado fled. She stared, open-mouthed, as Meredith reached behind her for the bra.

"Let me," Natalie said.

"You're supposed to be lying right there."

"Just turn around."

Meredith turned around and leaned back. Natalie stroked her shoulders before unfastening her bra, and then letting Meredith pull it off. Natalie urged her back, so Meredith was lying face-up across Natalie's torso, with Natalie's arms around her.

"This is nice," Natalie murmured.

"Yeah."

Natalie's hands moved over her stomach, down her sides, and then over her chest, stroking and circling, until Meredith groaned. Natalie's hand hovered against the side of a breast. "Merry?"

"Please."

"Please what?"

Meredith took her hands and placed them against her breasts. "Please don't torture me anymore."

Natalie squeezed.

Meredith groaned again, consumed with the sensations going all the way through her.

"Is this all right?" Natalie asked.

"If it's with you."

Natalie tugged on her nipples, bringing them more prominently into the room, before covering them with her hands and squeezing.

"This is a good position," Natalie said.

"It is?"

"Because if I could really reach." Natalie's fingers danced down Meredith's stomach to the button of her jeans. "We'd be done by now."

"That'd be no fun."

Natalie kissed her shoulder. "No. Is it my turn?"

Meredith turned over, until her bare breasts pressed Natalie's clothed ones as she leaned down for a kiss. Natalie sighed, lifting herself against Meredith's mouth. Meredith pressed closer. "I can do anything?"

"Yes."

"Any requests?"

"Take off my shirt. Please."

Meredith untucked it from Natalie's pants and helped push it over Natalie's head. Then she plucked at a bra strop.

"I can--" Natalie started.

"No, let me."

Natalie stilled as Meredith drew the straps down and then pressed kisses along Natalie's bare shoulder.

"I thought we promised no torture."

"I made you promise." Meredith kissed the hollow between her breasts.

"Merry."

Meredith worked her hands under Natalie's back, undid the clasp, and sat up, pulling the fabric.

"Thank you," Natalie said, closing her eyes.

"Mmhm. My pleasure," Meredith said.

Natalie arched her back. Meredith took that as an invitation. She kissed Natalie's chest, following the slope of a breast to its point, kissing lightly before moving to the next one. Up and down. She wanted to get used to the taste again. She swiped with her tongue. Natalie's responses encouraged her. The hardening of her nipple, the shivering of her torso, the redness of her neck. She spread wet, wide-mouthed kisses across bare skin. She felt powerful, calling forth this energy in Natalie.

Her own nipples, grazing Natalie's side, echoed her own desire and Natalie's. She kissed Natalie's side, and then encountered jeans.

"Wait." Natalie said as Meredith touched her fly.

Meredith paused.

"The place you were in a while ago," Natalie said, panting.

"I remember."

"I'm, uh, there now."

Meredith knelt, moving back, until she could stand by the bed.

"What are you doing?" Natalie asked.

Meredith undid her own pants. "Nothing."

Natalie swallowed.

Meredith looped her fingers in the waistline. "If this is too much, I could turn around."

"You're fine."

"You sure?"

Natalie nodded, not moving any other part of her but her chin.

Meredith pushed her pants and panties down and then stepped out of them. She stood naked before Natalie, who was still immobile but looked serene. Meredith wanted to be in her arms. She didn't want to cover up. She wanted to see Natalie, too.

Natalie reached down and unzipped her own fly. That was almost enough to send Meredith into convulsions. She bit her lip. Natalie saw her expression.

"Help me," Natalie said.

Meredith took hold of the jeans, tugging as Natalie lifted, and they slid off her like a sheath. Natalie was as naked as she was, and there was no reason not to go to her, to slide along an expanse of skin, of heat, of love, while Natalie laughed and pulled the blankets over them. Meredith pressed her nose to Natalie's neck, smelling the faint oil in her hair, the sweat clinging to her arms. She wanted to follow the sheen under Natalie's breasts, and lower, to where the earthiness of the lake walk gave way to something muskier, something only for her. She kissed Natalie's chest, over her heart, and then her belly button.