The Right Places (37 page)

6. Pay for the photographs that come to you in the mail unsolicited. Increasingly, at social gatherings—openings, benefits, private parties—photographers roam about the premises, shutters clicking. The pictures, when they arrive—often handsomely displayed in leather frames—can become a costly item (the bill enclosed with the pictures always urges you to return them, and no hard feelings). But the photographers feed society columns, and if you don't buy their wares they have ways of taking their revenge. “They get very skillful at taking your picture while you're scratching yourself,” one woman has said.

7. If you're a woman, lunch out selectively—both as to restaurant and as to luncheon companion. It's not a bad idea, for instance, to lunch with a man other than your husband. This helps create talk, and might even become a column item. If you go to the “in” restaurants, be sure to tip your captain, as well as your waiter, handsomely, until you have successfully worked your way up to the best tables and are greeted, when you come in, by name. Be willing to withstand the humiliation of rebuffs, blank stares, and placement in “Siberia” as you progress toward your goal. In New York, the five most “in” restaurants are La Grenouille, La Côte Basque, La Caravelle, Le Pavilion,
and Lafayette, in more or less that order. But even more “in” than lunching at one of the above, which are all French, is having a corned beef sandwich in the workroom of a pet designer, such as Halston, so there you are. Perhaps this is why several of the formerly “in” restaurants—Chauveron, the Colony—have closed, for lack of interest.

8. Knock, for all they're worth, all the old traditional society institutions—the Colony Club, Newport, coming-out parties, the Junior League, fox-hunting, Foxcroft, beagling, billiards, the
Social Register
. These institutions are hopelessly out of date, at least as topics of conversation. This does not mean that if asked to go to something involving one of them you should not treat the invitation seriously.

9. Become involved with Art. Art has become one of the most effective avenues and the most rewarding for the social climber. Also, as far as Art goes, anything goes for Art these days, which makes it all the easier. Go to gallery openings. You do not even need an invitation to most of these, where gate-crashers are expected. Sign the guest book, and the gallery concerned will promptly invite you to its next opening. An evening's roam of galleries can be, according to one art expert, “the easiest free drunk in town”—that is, if you like the least expensive brands of domestic champagne. Start a collection of art. Give your art away to museums or send it on tour. Get on the board of directors of a major art museum, and you will have arrived.

Aside from the importance of art, how you decorate your house matters less today than ever before. It is not considered smart to admit to using an interior decorator (interior decorators today try to be called “designers,” but the old label sticks.) In your house, order an atmosphere of cultivated clutter and, as soon as the decorator is out of earshot, claim to have done it all yourself.

10. When you entertain, serve good food. Remember that not just women but men too have a say in which invitations are accepted and which are not. His wife may call you “that silly little climber,” but if he knows that you will reward him with a spectacular meal at your table, they will more than likely both show up. (Superb food is, after all, available in only a handful of restaurants and clubs in the world.) In most cities, the most fashionable night to entertain is Monday. Next comes Thursday. No one knows why. Friday and Saturday nights are
for entertaining in the country. Sunday is for cocktail parties. Think twice before giving a cocktail party.

Go, if you must, to charity balls—but go selectively, favoring only the best ones, that is, those for the best charities. Go to these by making up a table, which, being a climber, you'll want to be ringside, up front. Go, and don't be too surprised if you spot, at the ringside table next to yours, a few of the old crowd from Brooklyn. After all, it's a fact of life that social climbers meet mostly other social climbers. You will also see, at other nearby tables, numberless nameless faces, which is because these tables have been purchased by large corporations and filled up with their employees and friends.

Where, then, are real society, the Old Guard, the founding families of our cities, the great names to conjure with? Well, some of them have moved out of town—to Arizona, to a ranch in Wyoming, or just to Manhasset. Others have simply tired of the sort of thing you're having so much fun doing, and you'd find them very boring. The rest have simply died.

But don't worry. Now that you've been climbing, and have made it up so far, you've undergone certain important changes. Social climbing is supposed to be self-improving, and the new you is much more happy than the old. And if you take another look at that old Brooklyn crowd, they're looking better too.

Not long ago, New York's famous old El Morocco—which had fallen upon sorry days under a series of different managers—was reopened as a strictly private, members-only club by that prince (real Russian title and all) of publicists, Serge Obolensky. Everyone from the Onassises on down turned out for the opening, and the club has been a huge popular success with what passes for society in New York today. Exclusivity has been the club's keynote and touted cornerstone. In addition to the ability to pay five hundred dollars a month dues, new members must be sponsored by at least two older members, plus two members of the august Board of Governors. When, the other day, a public relations man had a client who wanted to join El Morocco, he spent an hour or so on the telephone calling members and governors, asking them to sponsor his client. By the end of the afternoon, the client had all the sponsorship he needed. Not one of the sponsors knew,
or had even heard of, the prospective member before that afternoon. One sponsor even let the prospective member sign the sponsor's name on the application; it seemed like too much trouble to send the application over to his office. The new member went sailing in.

And so, having mastered the simple rules of modern social climbing, you must ask yourself: Was it worth the candle? Or wasn't there some point you missed? Wasn't the point that today's society, where the right people get together in the right places, is everywhere and everyone? Perhaps, without knowing it, you are
there
already. Mr. Fitzgerald might have found the present-day situation confusing, or even disappointing. But now that the rich
are
you and me, there are really no more places that are closed to life on earth.

Index

“Absolution” (Fitzgerald),
5

Acapulco, Mexico,
131
,
132
,
138
,
142

Acorn Club, Philadelphia,
231

Action for Appalachian Youth,
65

Adams, Kenneth S. (“Boots”),
49

Adenauer, Konrad,
86

Albee, Mrs. Reed,
256

Albert, Prince,
216

Aldrich, Winthrop,
234
,
236

Aldrich, Mrs. Winthrop,
236

Alpine Set,
85–93

Alsop, Joseph,
234

Alswang, Ralph,
100

Altamont pass, California,
28

Ambrose Lightship,
220

America
(yacht),
217
; replica of,
221–222

America's Cup,
215
,
216
,
217
,
221

America's Cup Race,
215
,
216
; origin of,
216–217
; first victory in,
217
; challengers in,
218–219
; low point in history of,
219
; formula restricting entries in,
219–220
; cost of,
220–221
; 1970 race,
222–223

American Embassy, London,
197–200
,
206
,
208

American Program Bureau Inc., Boston,
177
,
180–181
,
182

American Yacht Club,
228

Ames, Harriet (Annenberg),
205

Annenberg, “Aye” (Mrs. Leo Simon),
202–203

Annenberg, Max,
204

Annenberg, Moses L. (“Moe”),
203–204
,
205

Annenberg, Mrs. Moses L.,
204

Annenberg, Wallis (Mrs. Seth Weingarten),
200

Annenberg, Walter H.,
197–211

Annenberg, Mrs. Walter H. (Leonore),
201–202
,
203

Annenberg family,
202–206
,
208
,
210

Annenberg Library,
207

Annenberg School of Communications, University of Pennsylvania,
207

Apawamis Club, Westchester County,
233

Appalachia,
55

Arcaro, Eddie,
43

Arden, Elizabeth,
240
,
248
,
250

Ardsley-on-Hudson, New York,
230

Armour family,
21

Arnaz, Desi,
134

Arpels, Mme. Louis,
239

Arrouge, Marti,
117

Ashbury, James,
218

Ashe, Arthur,
177–178

Astor, Mrs. John Jacob III,
230
,
234

Austrian ambassador to U.S., wife of,
118

Baez, Joan,
146

Bahia Mar marina, Fort Lauderdale,
49

Baja California, Mexico,
132

Bakersfield, California,
5
,
25
,
27
,
32–33

Baldy Mountain, Sun Valley,
115
,
116
,
121
,
123
,
125
,
126
,
127

Balsa Hotels, Mexico,
135

Bandine, Miss Liberty,
161

Barrens, Pinehurst,
78

Barstow School, Kansas City,
21

Baruch, Bernard,
86

Basso, Hamilton,
100

Bedford, Duke and Duchess of,
176–177

Bedford, Ruth,
105

Bedford family,
80

“Bee” chain of newspapers, California,
39

Behan, Brendan,
147

Bellamy, Ralph,
122

Bennett, Joan,
192

Bergdorf Goodman,
5
,
159–173
,
224
; “Apartment” at,
160
,
163–164
,
169
; origins of,
162
; changes at,
163
,
169
,
172–173
; move to present site,
163–164
; “non-customers” at,
172

Bergdorf, Herman,
160

Bergen County, New Jersey,
95–96

Berlinger, Mr. and Mrs. George,
168

Bernstein, Leonard,
105
,
118
,
123

Bernstein, Mrs. Leonard,
105
,
118

Bich, Baron Marcel,
222–223

Biddle family,
187

Bidwell, General John,
37

Bidwell Park,
37

Birch, John, Society,
47

Blass, Bill,
244

Bloomingdale's,
171

Blough, Roger M.,
234

Boat Basin, Seventy-ninth Street, New York,
192

Bohemian Club, San Francisco,
27

Bonwit Teller,
66
,
161

Boodle's (club), London,
237

Boone County, West Virginia,
68

Boyd, Mr. and Mrs. James,
76

Boys in the Band, The
,
47

Bremer, Lucille (Sra. Abelardo Rodríguez),
132

Bridgeport, Connecticut,
96
,
105

Broadway-Hale department store chain,
159
,
167
,
173

Bronfman, Mr. and Mrs. Edgar,
165
,
189–190

Brook Club, New York,
234

Brown, Holmes,
236

Brown, John Mason,
178

Brown, Skipper (Richard) of
America
,
217

Brown family, California,
26

Bruce, David K. E.,
201–202
,
209
,
210
,
234

Bruce, Mrs. David K. E.,
201–202
,
209
,
210

Bryan, Joe,
82

Brynner, Yul,
90

Buchanan, Mr. and Mrs. Wiley T.,
190

Bucharest, Rumania,
248

Buchwald, Art,
176
,
183

Bunker, Mrs. George,
189

Burton, Richard,
90
,
136–137
,
193
,
205

Burton, Mrs. Richard.
See
Taylor, Elizabeth

Butler, Michael,
151
,
152

Caen, Herb,
25

Cafritz, Gwen (Mrs. Morris),
256

California, Central Valley of.
See
Central Valley

California, Delta region of,
31
,
37
,
39

California, Gulf of,
132
; ferry across,
135

Callas, Maria,
17

Cambria
(schooner),
218

Cannon family,
82

Capote, Truman,
191

Carlisle, Kitty,
176

Carlyle, Thomas, quoted,
207

Carolina Hotel, Pinehurst,
75
,
79
,
80

Carson, Johnny,
48

Carson, Mr. and Mrs. “Kit,”
48

Carswell, G. Harrold,
228

Cartier's,
205

Castro, Bernard,
44
,
47