Authors: Stephen; Birmingham
6. Pay for the photographs that come to you in the mail unsolicited. Increasingly, at social gatheringsâopenings, benefits, private partiesâphotographers roam about the premises, shutters clicking. The pictures, when they arriveâoften handsomely displayed in leather framesâcan become a costly item (the bill enclosed with the pictures always urges you to return them, and no hard feelings). But the photographers feed society columns, and if you don't buy their wares they have ways of taking their revenge. “They get very skillful at taking your picture while you're scratching yourself,” one woman has said.
7. If you're a woman, lunch out selectivelyâboth as to restaurant and as to luncheon companion. It's not a bad idea, for instance, to lunch with a man other than your husband. This helps create talk, and might even become a column item. If you go to the “in” restaurants, be sure to tip your captain, as well as your waiter, handsomely, until you have successfully worked your way up to the best tables and are greeted, when you come in, by name. Be willing to withstand the humiliation of rebuffs, blank stares, and placement in “Siberia” as you progress toward your goal. In New York, the five most “in” restaurants are La Grenouille, La Côte Basque, La Caravelle, Le Pavilion,
and Lafayette, in more or less that order. But even more “in” than lunching at one of the above, which are all French, is having a corned beef sandwich in the workroom of a pet designer, such as Halston, so there you are. Perhaps this is why several of the formerly “in” restaurantsâChauveron, the Colonyâhave closed, for lack of interest.
8. Knock, for all they're worth, all the old traditional society institutionsâthe Colony Club, Newport, coming-out parties, the Junior League, fox-hunting, Foxcroft, beagling, billiards, the
Social Register
. These institutions are hopelessly out of date, at least as topics of conversation. This does not mean that if asked to go to something involving one of them you should not treat the invitation seriously.
9. Become involved with Art. Art has become one of the most effective avenues and the most rewarding for the social climber. Also, as far as Art goes, anything goes for Art these days, which makes it all the easier. Go to gallery openings. You do not even need an invitation to most of these, where gate-crashers are expected. Sign the guest book, and the gallery concerned will promptly invite you to its next opening. An evening's roam of galleries can be, according to one art expert, “the easiest free drunk in town”âthat is, if you like the least expensive brands of domestic champagne. Start a collection of art. Give your art away to museums or send it on tour. Get on the board of directors of a major art museum, and you will have arrived.
Aside from the importance of art, how you decorate your house matters less today than ever before. It is not considered smart to admit to using an interior decorator (interior decorators today try to be called “designers,” but the old label sticks.) In your house, order an atmosphere of cultivated clutter and, as soon as the decorator is out of earshot, claim to have done it all yourself.
10. When you entertain, serve good food. Remember that not just women but men too have a say in which invitations are accepted and which are not. His wife may call you “that silly little climber,” but if he knows that you will reward him with a spectacular meal at your table, they will more than likely both show up. (Superb food is, after all, available in only a handful of restaurants and clubs in the world.) In most cities, the most fashionable night to entertain is Monday. Next comes Thursday. No one knows why. Friday and Saturday nights are
for entertaining in the country. Sunday is for cocktail parties. Think twice before giving a cocktail party.
Go, if you must, to charity ballsâbut go selectively, favoring only the best ones, that is, those for the best charities. Go to these by making up a table, which, being a climber, you'll want to be ringside, up front. Go, and don't be too surprised if you spot, at the ringside table next to yours, a few of the old crowd from Brooklyn. After all, it's a fact of life that social climbers meet mostly other social climbers. You will also see, at other nearby tables, numberless nameless faces, which is because these tables have been purchased by large corporations and filled up with their employees and friends.
Where, then, are real society, the Old Guard, the founding families of our cities, the great names to conjure with? Well, some of them have moved out of townâto Arizona, to a ranch in Wyoming, or just to Manhasset. Others have simply tired of the sort of thing you're having so much fun doing, and you'd find them very boring. The rest have simply died.
But don't worry. Now that you've been climbing, and have made it up so far, you've undergone certain important changes. Social climbing is supposed to be self-improving, and the new you is much more happy than the old. And if you take another look at that old Brooklyn crowd, they're looking better too.
Not long ago, New York's famous old El Moroccoâwhich had fallen upon sorry days under a series of different managersâwas reopened as a strictly private, members-only club by that prince (real Russian title and all) of publicists, Serge Obolensky. Everyone from the Onassises on down turned out for the opening, and the club has been a huge popular success with what passes for society in New York today. Exclusivity has been the club's keynote and touted cornerstone. In addition to the ability to pay five hundred dollars a month dues, new members must be sponsored by at least two older members, plus two members of the august Board of Governors. When, the other day, a public relations man had a client who wanted to join El Morocco, he spent an hour or so on the telephone calling members and governors, asking them to sponsor his client. By the end of the afternoon, the client had all the sponsorship he needed. Not one of the sponsors knew,
or had even heard of, the prospective member before that afternoon. One sponsor even let the prospective member sign the sponsor's name on the application; it seemed like too much trouble to send the application over to his office. The new member went sailing in.
And so, having mastered the simple rules of modern social climbing, you must ask yourself: Was it worth the candle? Or wasn't there some point you missed? Wasn't the point that today's society, where the right people get together in the right places, is everywhere and everyone? Perhaps, without knowing it, you are
there
already. Mr. Fitzgerald might have found the present-day situation confusing, or even disappointing. But now that the rich
are
you and me, there are really no more places that are closed to life on earth.
Index
“Absolution” (Fitzgerald),
5
Acapulco, Mexico,
131
,
132
,
138
,
142
Acorn Club, Philadelphia,
231
Action for Appalachian Youth,
65
Adams, Kenneth S. (“Boots”),
49
Adenauer, Konrad,
86
Albee, Mrs. Reed,
256
Albert, Prince,
216
Aldrich, Mrs. Winthrop,
236
Alpine Set,
85â93
Alsop, Joseph,
234
Alswang, Ralph,
100
Altamont pass, California,
28
Ambrose Lightship,
220
America
(yacht),
217
; replica of,
221â222
America's Cup Race,
215
,
216
; origin of,
216â217
; first victory in,
217
; challengers in,
218â219
; low point in history of,
219
; formula restricting entries in,
219â220
; cost of,
220â221
; 1970 race,
222â223
American Embassy, London,
197â200
,
206
,
208
American Program Bureau Inc., Boston,
177
,
180â181
,
182
American Yacht Club,
228
Ames, Harriet (Annenberg),
205
Annenberg, “Aye” (Mrs. Leo Simon),
202â203
Annenberg, Max,
204
Annenberg, Moses L. (“Moe”),
203â204
,
205
Annenberg, Mrs. Moses L.,
204
Annenberg, Wallis (Mrs. Seth Weingarten),
200
Annenberg, Walter H.,
197â211
Annenberg, Mrs. Walter H. (Leonore),
201â202
,
203
Annenberg family,
202â206
,
208
,
210
Annenberg Library,
207
Annenberg School of Communications, University of Pennsylvania,
207
Apawamis Club, Westchester County,
233
Appalachia,
55
Arcaro, Eddie,
43
Ardsley-on-Hudson, New York,
230
Armour family,
21
Arnaz, Desi,
134
Arpels, Mme. Louis,
239
Arrouge, Marti,
117
Ashbury, James,
218
Ashe, Arthur,
177â178
Astor, Mrs. John Jacob III,
230
,
234
Austrian ambassador to U.S., wife of,
118
Baez, Joan,
146
Bahia Mar marina, Fort Lauderdale,
49
Baja California, Mexico,
132
Bakersfield, California,
5
,
25
,
27
,
32â33
Baldy Mountain, Sun Valley,
115
,
116
,
121
,
123
,
125
,
126
,
127
Balsa Hotels, Mexico,
135
Bandine, Miss Liberty,
161
Barrens, Pinehurst,
78
Barstow School, Kansas City,
21
Baruch, Bernard,
86
Basso, Hamilton,
100
Bedford, Duke and Duchess of,
176â177
Bedford, Ruth,
105
Bedford family,
80
“Bee” chain of newspapers, California,
39
Behan, Brendan,
147
Bellamy, Ralph,
122
Bennett, Joan,
192
Bergdorf Goodman,
5
,
159â173
,
224
; “Apartment” at,
160
,
163â164
,
169
; origins of,
162
; changes at,
163
,
169
,
172â173
; move to present site,
163â164
; “non-customers” at,
172
Bergdorf, Herman,
160
Bergen County, New Jersey,
95â96
Berlinger, Mr. and Mrs. George,
168
Bernstein, Leonard,
105
,
118
,
123
Bernstein, Mrs. Leonard,
105
,
118
Bich, Baron Marcel,
222â223
Biddle family,
187
Bidwell, General John,
37
Bidwell Park,
37
Birch, John, Society,
47
Blass, Bill,
244
Bloomingdale's,
171
Blough, Roger M.,
234
Boat Basin, Seventy-ninth Street, New York,
192
Bohemian Club, San Francisco,
27
Boodle's (club), London,
237
Boone County, West Virginia,
68
Boyd, Mr. and Mrs. James,
76
Boys in the Band, The
,
47
Bremer, Lucille (Sra. Abelardo RodrÃguez),
132
Bridgeport, Connecticut,
96
,
105
Broadway-Hale department store chain,
159
,
167
,
173
Bronfman, Mr. and Mrs. Edgar,
165
,
189â190
Brook Club, New York,
234
Brown, Holmes,
236
Brown, John Mason,
178
Brown, Skipper (Richard) of
America
,
217
Brown family, California,
26
Bruce, David K. E.,
201â202
,
209
,
210
,
234
Bruce, Mrs. David K. E.,
201â202
,
209
,
210
Bryan, Joe,
82
Brynner, Yul,
90
Buchanan, Mr. and Mrs. Wiley T.,
190
Bucharest, Rumania,
248
Bunker, Mrs. George,
189
Burton, Richard,
90
,
136â137
,
193
,
205
Burton, Mrs. Richard.
See
Taylor, Elizabeth
Caen, Herb,
25
Cafritz, Gwen (Mrs. Morris),
256
California, Central Valley of.
See
Central Valley
California, Delta region of,
31
,
37
,
39
California, Gulf of,
132
; ferry across,
135
Callas, Maria,
17
Cambria
(schooner),
218
Cannon family,
82
Capote, Truman,
191
Carlisle, Kitty,
176
Carlyle, Thomas, quoted,
207
Carolina Hotel, Pinehurst,
75
,
79
,
80
Carson, Johnny,
48
Carson, Mr. and Mrs. “Kit,”
48
Carswell, G. Harrold,
228
Cartier's,
205