Authors: Robert Ludlum
The Road to Omaha (80 page)
“Your point, sir?”
“Considering everything that’s involved, what would be your response if the Court in its wisdom decided against you?”
“Quite simple,” replied Chief Thunder Head. “We would declare war against the United States of America, knowing we’d have the sympathy of our Indian brothers across the land. Many thousands of white men would not survive. We would lose, but so would you.”
“Holy
shit
,” intoned the nasal-twanged Chief Justice Reebock. “I have a house in New Mexico—”
“The land of the warlike Apaches, sir?” asked the Hawk innocently.
“Two and a half miles from the reservation,” answered the justice, swallowing.
“The Apache is our brother in blood. May the Great Spirit grant you a swift and relatively painless death.”
“What about Palm Beach?” asked another member of the Court, his brows arched.
“The Seminoles are our cousins. They boil the blood of the white man to remove its impurities—while the blood is still in the body, of course; it tenderizes the meat.”
“Aspen …?” said yet another, haltingly. “Who’s there?”
“The impetuous Cherokee, sir. They’re even closer cousins, due to the geography. However, we’ve frequently voiced disapproval over their primary method of retribution. They strap their enemies face down over killer anthills.”
“
Augh
!” gasped Jennifer.
“Lake … Lake George?” asked a pale-faced justice on the left, his expression conveying sudden fear. “I have a lovely summer home there.”
“Upper New York State, sir? Need you ask?” MacKenzie lowered his voice, as if to confirm the unspoken terror. “The hunting and
burial
grounds of the Mohawk?”
“Something like that … I imagine.”
“Our tribe is an offspring of the Mohawks, sir, but in all honesty, we felt we had to flee and travel west, away from our closest blood brothers.”
“Why was that?”
“The Mohawk brave is perhaps the most ferocious and daring of us all—but, well, I’m sure you understand.”
“Understand …
what
?”
“When provoked they torch their enemy’s tepees at night, as well as setting fire to all their enemy’s property. It is a scorched earth policy that we found too severe for our branch. Of course, the Mohawks still consider us one with them. The ties of blood are not easily washed away. Without question, they would join our struggle.”
“I think we should
confer
again!” snapped the Chief Justice, as the microphones went silent and the Court, their heads whipping back and forth, whispered among themselves.
“
Mac
!” hissed Redwing. “None of what you said is
true
! The Apaches are from the Athabaskan people and are no part of us, and the Cherokees wouldn’t strap anybody over an anthill, that’s preposterous,
and
the Seminoles are the most peaceful tribe of all the nations!… The Mohawks, well, they like to shoot craps because it brings in money, but they never attacked anyone who didn’t attack or steal from them first, and they certainly would
never
scorch the land because then you can’t grow anything on it!”
“
Please
, daughter of the Wopotamis,” said the Hawk, standing imperiously in his feathered headdress and looking down at Jennifer. “What do the dumb palefaces know?”
“You’re besmirching all the Indian nations!”
“What have these people been doing to us all these years?”
“
Us
?”
The microphones crackled on again, and again the sniffling, nasal voice of the Chief Justice shot out of the speakers. “Let the record show that the Court will recommend to the government of the United States that it will enter into immediate negotiations with the Wopotami nation to seek a reasonable solution for past malfeasances. Without argument, the Court upholds the plaintiff’s case. It will be announced forthwith. We are adjourned
sine die
!” And then, without realizing that the microphone was still operative, the Chief Justice added. “Someone call the White House and tell Subagaloo to shove it! That son of a bitch got us into this mess, he
always
does. He probably had our goddamned air-conditioning shut off, too. I’m sweating right down to the crack in my ass!… Sorry, dear.”
News of the Wopotami triumph reached the lobby and the steps of the Supreme Court in a matter of minutes. Chief Thunder Head, in full regalia, strode down the marble corridor toward the great hall expecting the adulation and the celebration of his people. A celebration was, indeed, in progress, but what the celebration was about appeared somewhat irrelevant to the celebrants. The huge gallery was filled with men and women of all ages, dancing, prancing, from awkward waltzes to hard rock, the participants whirling and wiggling to the recorded sounds of upgraded, speeded-up versions of original Indian chants from enormous speakers. Even the guards, the tourists, and the D.C. police joined partners hither and yon; the revered great hall was the scene of a wild carnival.
“Oh, good
God
!” exclaimed Sunrise Jennifer Redwing as she walked out of the elevator with Sam and Aaron on the first floor.
“It’s a joyous occasion,” said Pinkus. “Your people are rightfully jubilant.”
“
My
people? Those aren’t my people!”
“What do you mean?” asked Devereaux.
“
Look
! Do you see a single Wopotami, a single painted face or Indian skirt dancing or singing or shouting?”
“No, but I see a lot of Wopotamis out on the floor.”
“So do I, but I can’t understand what they’re doing.”
“Well, they seem to be going from group to group encouraging …
oh
, oh, they’re carrying—”
“Paper
cups
! And plastic bottles—it’s what Roman told us. They’re passing out yaw-yaw juice!”
“Slight correction,” said Sam. “They’re selling it.”
“I’ll
murder
that Calfnose!”
“Second suggestion, Jennifer,” said Aaron, chuckling. “Instead, put him on your finance committee.”
EPILOGUEThe New York
DAILY NEWS
WOPS TAKE SAC
Washington, D.C., Friday—In a stunning decision, the Supreme Court has upheld the legitimacy of a suit brought by the Wopotami tribe of Nebraska against the government of the United States. The Court, in a unanimous decision, held that a territory of several hundred square miles in and around Omaha is the rightful property of the Wopotamis, according to a treaty affirmed by the Forty-ninth Congress in 1878. This land includes the headquarters of the Strategic Air Command. The Senate and the House of Representatives have been called back into emergency session, and attorneys from several thousand law firms have expressed interest in the forthcoming negotiations.
IL PROGRESSO ITALIANO
Questo giornale muove obiezone all’insensibilita’ del
Daily News
facendo uno di un’espressione
denigratoria nella tastata di ieri. Noi non siamo dei “pellarossa salvaggi”!
(This newspaper takes great exception to the insensitivity of the
Daily News
by the use of a derogatory ethnic slur in its headline of yesterday. We are not redskinned savages!)
HOLLYWOOD VARIETY
Beverly Hills, Wednesday—Messrs. Robbins and Martin, top execs at the William Morris Agency, have announced that a major deal has been concluded between their clients, known at this juncture only as six terrif actors who’ve been toiling for the government as an antiterrorist unit for the past five years, and Consolidated-Colossal Studios, Emmanuel Greenberg, producer, for a $100,000,000 pic starring their clients who’ll be ’picting themselves. At the press conference held at Merv’s Place, that great legit character actor, Henry Irving Sutton, made an appearance, stating that he was so moved by the property he was coming out of retirement to play a major role. Apparently Greenberg was also mucho moved—he intermittently wept, too choked up to speak. Many at the press outing said it was because he was so proud, but others maintained it was due to the negotiations. Greenberg’s former wife, Lady Cavendish, was also present. She kept smiling.
THE NEW YORK TIMES
CIA DIRECTOR FOUND ALIVE
RESCUED FROM AN ISLAND IN THE DRY
TORTUGAS
Miami, Thursday—A fishing yacht, the
Contessa
, owned by the international industrialist Smythington-Fontini, spotted smoke from a fire on the beach of an uninhabited out island in the Dry Tortugas. As the
Contessa
drew in to shore, the crew and passengers heard loud cries for help both in English
and Spanish and saw three men racing into the water, giving thanks for having been found. One of the three was Vincent F. A. Mangecavallo, director of the Central Intelligence Agency, until this morning presumed lost at sea last week. The presumption was based on the debris of the yacht
Gotcha Baby
, on which Mr. Mangecavallo was a passenger and which was wrecked in a tropical storm. The debris included several personal effects of the director.
The story of survival is one of extraordinary heroism on the part of Mr. Mangecavallo. According to the two Argentinean crew, who’ve been flown back to their families in Rio de Janeiro, the director literally dragged them through shark-infested waters by their holding on to his legs as Mr. Mangecavallo swam to the uninhabited island. Upon hearing the news, the President said, “I knew my old navy buddy would pull through!” As previously noted, the Navy Department had no comment other than to say,
“That’s nice.”
In Brooklyn, New York, one Rocco Sabatini, upon reading the account of the rescue, said to his wife over the breakfast table. “Hey, what the hell’s going on here? Bam-Bam can’t swim.”
THE WALL STREET JOURNAL
RASH OF BANKRUPTCIES
SHOCKS FINANCIAL AMERICA
New York, Friday—Lawyers are scurrying throughout the corridors of corporate America today, rushing in and out of executive suites and board meetings, trying to put scores of conglomerate Humpty Dumpties back together again. The conventional wisdom is that it’s impossible, as massive overextensions of debt incurred in the recent frenzy of buyouts, and block stock purchases have left many of the nation’s industrial giants, both corporate and individual, jointly and severally, with empty pockets,
red faces, and, in a number of cases, a sudden desire to leave the country.
It was reported that at Kennedy International Airport one such company president was heard to shout hysterically, “Anywhere but Cairo! I will not clean urinals!” The significance of the remark is unclear.
STARS AND STRIPES
THE NEWSPAPER OF THE U.S. ARMY
DEFECTORS FROM CUBA COMMISSIONED
Fort Benning, Saturday—In a first for the army, two highly regarded former officers in Castro’s military machine, experts in sabotage, espionage, covert operation, intelligence, and counterintelligence, have been commissioned with the ranks of first lieutenant at this base, announced General Ethelred Brokemichael, chief of Information and Public Affairs.
Desi Romero and his cousin, Desi Gonzalez, who defected from “the intolerable situation in our homeland,” will head up a Special Forces unit being formed at Benning after linguistic indoctrination and orthodontal treatment.
The army welcomes such brave and experienced men who risked their lives to seek freedom and honor. In the words of General Brokemichael, “A great motion picture could be made of their exploits,
we should look into that.”
Summer was fading, lethargy receding, each a prelude to the energized games of autumn. The north winds grew chillier in the mornings, reminding the residents of Nebraska that soon they would become colder, then very cold, finally numbing the skin; another prelude, this, to the winter snows. However, such thoughts were far from the minds of the Wopotami nation, for as the negotiations with the United States Government continued, Washington saw fit to send two hundred and twelve state-of-the-art trailer homes to the reservation, replacing the wigwams and the
ramshackle structures previously used for communal gatherings and shelter for many against the winter snows. Of course, what Washington did not know was that several hundred perfectly adequate cabins had been bulldozed only weeks previously and that the tepees, or wigwams, were previously an unfamiliar sight on the reservation except for a few around the tourists’ gate. MacKenzie Hawkins was not one to overlook either the subtleties or the inconsistencies of observable terrain; no trained military man would. It was all part of the strategy, and no battle was ever won without a plan.
“I still can’t believe it,” said Jennifer, walking hand in hand with Sam down a dirt road on the reservation, the field to their right dotted with huge, extravagant trailers, each with a satellite television dish attached to the roof. “It’s all coming out the way Mac thought it would.”
“The negotiations are going well then?”
“Incredibly. If we frown simply because something’s not clear, they fuss and backtrack and make a better offer. Several times I’ve had to interrupt the government people and explain that the financial aspects were perfectly satisfactory, I just wanted a legal point clarified. One lawyer from the GAO shouted, ‘You don’t like it, don’t worry, it’s
out
!”