The Ruby Kiss (26 page)

Ruby’s breath stuttered in and out of her lungs. She longed to share the intimacy of this bond with someone she loved, but it wasn’t fair to take Nightshade’s Magic Knot without first telling him about her infertility.

When she didn’t hold out her hand to immediately accept his stones, his brows drew down and his fist closed around them. Ruby shut her eyes for a moment, digging deep to find the courage to dash his hopes or her own.

“I love you, Nightshade.”

A kaleidoscope of emotion crossed his face. “I sense a ‘but’ coming.”

“I want to accept your Magic Knot and bond with you.”

“But . . . ?”

“I don’t think I can have children.”

He blinked. Then: “Stay here with me. Spend time with Rhys. I’m sure you’ll change your mind.”

“No. That’s not what I mean, Nightshade. I’m
not able
to have children. I’m . . .” Her heart pounded at the look of dawning understanding on his face. “Infertile,” she finished, the word slipping out in an apologetic whisper.

For long moments he didn’t move, his face frozen in a mask of horrified disbelief. Then he climbed from the bed, pulled on his jeans, and, without another word, left the room. A burning wave of sorrow flooded her. Was that it? Had she lost him? Did he want a baby more than he wanted her? Ruby curled into a fetal position, pressed the bunched sheet to her face, and sobbed.

* * *

Nightshade stood at the nursery door, yet he didn’t remember getting there. He stared at the four tiny beds, Niall and Rose’s two boys beside one wall, Rhys by the opposite, and the smallest cot beneath the window for Michael and Cordelia’s baby girl, Cherry. He wandered across to Rhys’s cot and stared down at the peaceful little boy. He loved his brother like a son. Still, he longed for his own child. In his imagination, he’d watched Ruby birth their babe, and seen their boisterous happy toddler asleep next to Rhys here in the nursery.

He’d always felt different, as though he didn’t belong. Even now that Rose and Niall were king and queen and he was accepted among the piskies, a part of him remained on guard, waiting for the time they would turn on him and throw him out as the piskies had when he was a boy. But if he had his own family it wouldn’t matter what happened; he would have someone to need him, someone to love. He had done bad
things in his life, nearly allowed a druid to destroy the pisky troop out of revenge. But he’d seen the light, helped put right what he’d done. He’d suffered pain, and heartbreak over his father’s abandonment and later cruelty, but he’d always clung to the belief he was strong. Now he realized his strength was an illusion. One softly spoken word from Ruby had cracked his brittle hopes and dreams, and everything inside him had shattered. He had to choose between Ruby and the son he longed for. How?

“Nightshade?”

The gentle inquiry dragged him back from the edge of the deep dark abyss threatening to swallow him. The leprechaun Ana sat in the shadowy corner to the right of Cherry’s cot. She was aunt by blood to Niall and Michael’s children, and aunt by choice to Rhys. She adored children and had a special way with them. Nightshade almost felt she had become his aunt as well.

“Ana.” His voice cracked.

“What’s the matter, lad?”

He pressed his fingers to his temples and closed his eyes. He struggled to get the heartbreaking words out of his mouth. “Ruby can’t have children.”

“Come sit beside me,” she said.

His feet took him to the other wing chair and he sat. He leaned forward and dropped his head into his hands.

“How can your woman be barren?” the leprechaun asked. “She’s the Mistress of the Beasts.”

Nightshade just shook his head.

“The Mistress wields the power of life and death. ’Tis not possible that she’s unable to bring forth life herself . . .”

Hope flared like a candle in the darkness, and he raised his head. “Then why has she told me she’s infertile?”

Ana rocked back and forth, chewing her lips, her wrinkled
face scrunched in thought. “’Tis a mystery to be sure. Her power should let her see the strength and weakness in the life force of all living things.”

“She hasn’t learned how to do that yet.”

“’Tis not a thing that needs learning, lad. It should come to her naturally.”

Nightshade frowned. “She couldn’t see what was wrong with me.”

“You look much better, lad. Did Cordelia heal you?”

“Blood was all I needed. I was suffering withdrawal symptoms after biting Troy.”

Ana chuckled softly into her hand. “You boys and your naughty appetites. I sensed Troy here earlier. Did he give you more?”

“He would have, but I told him I want to be with Ruby.”

Ana tapped the arm of her chair. “Can you call Troy back? He’ll help you solve the mystery of Ruby’s missing power.”

That answer gave him an idea. Nightshade’s mood lifted. He leaned forward and squeezed Ana’s small wrinkly hand. “Thank you. I’m lucky my feet brought me to the nursery and your sage advice. Will you speak with Ruby? I’d rather not call Troy back unless I have to. Ruby doesn’t seem to like him.”

Ana smiled to herself, slipped off the chair, and smoothed down her flowery dress. “Of course, Nightshade, if you trust me with such an important matter. I haven’t had a chance to talk to the lass yet.”

They headed back to his bedroom. The door stood ajar. He half expected to find Ruby had gone back to her own quarters, but the lamp illuminated a form wrapped in a sheet on the bed.

A soft sob came from the bump under the sheet, and Nightshade stumbled to a halt. He’d been so lost in his own distress he hadn’t considered how Ruby felt. After their
wonderful mating, it must have been difficult for her to tell him she couldn’t have children. Then he’d walked out on her without saying a word. Guilt burned through him at Ana’s questioning look. He didn’t deserve his own woman and child when he still thought of himself first.

Gesturing to Ana to wait, he padded silently inside, across to the bed where he sat on the edge. “Ruby.” He tugged at the sheet covering her face, but she hung on to it.

“Give me a minute and I’ll go back to my room,” she whispered thickly.

He leaned down and kissed her hair. “I’m sorry, love,” he said. “I was shocked, not thinking straight. Please stay.”

* * *

Ruby couldn’t believe she’d heard Nightshade right. “You want me to stay even though I can’t give you a child?”

Her thundering heart filled the few beats of silence before he answered. “I want you to stay.”

She wiped her eyes on the sheet. Nightshade tugged on it again, and she let go.

“Ye gods, Ruby. I’m sorry I walked out. I’m a selfish bastard.”

Nightshade hugged her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, so relieved he still wanted her that her tears started again. After a few minutes, she rubbed a fist over her eyes and pushed him away with a thump on the shoulder.

“You could have said something before you climbed out of bed and stalked off!”

“Males act first and think later.”

The soft feminine voice made Ruby start. A small leprechaun woman stepped out of the shadows. Ana, Ruby remembered. Ruby sniffed and wiped her eyes again.

“Don’t mind me, lass. I’ve seen it all in me time.”

“Yes, I’m sorry, I . . .” She was acutely aware that she was lying naked in Nightshade’s bed.

Nightshade lifted a chair across to the bed for Ana. She levered herself up onto the seat, and sat like a child, swinging her legs. She tilted her head, her small button nose wrinkling. “Tell me about your power, Mistress.”

Ruby wasn’t sure what she’d expected Ana to say next, but it wasn’t that. “Haven’t you heard the details from Devin and Nightshade?”

“I want to hear in your own words.”

“Well . . . it’s been a nonevent really. Twister made such a big deal about my power that I thought I’d learn magical things from the Bride of Light. All I really learned was how to stop the power leaking. Aila can do amazing things; create stuff out of energy. I can only see the pattern of people’s life force if I look in a special way, but nothing more. Not really.”

Ana nodded with encouragement as Ruby talked. Her size made her look young, yet the gentle intelligence in her eyes made her seem more like a kindhearted grandmother.

“You changed Fenrir from wolf to man,” the leprechaun pointed out.

“It was change him or be eaten.”

Ana tapped her fingers on her lap, her deeply lined forehead scrunching up. “You’re only able to draw on your power unconsciously in moments of desperation. Something isn’t right here. The Mistress of the Beasts has vast power. There must be a reason why you aren’t able to access your gift properly. Did anyone cast a binding spell on your magic when you were a child?”

Ruby adjusted the pillow and leaned back, feeling inestimably better now someone was helping her understand her power. Aila had explained a lot about her power and told
her to practice using it, but she just couldn’t access the energy as Aila had assumed. “I’ve no idea.”

“Kade told us he visited you when you were a child,” Nightshade spoke up.

“If me memory serves, that’ll be the old Mistress’s son. Your father,” Ana remarked. At Ruby’s nod she continued. “Could he have put a binding spell on you?”

“He’d do anything to control her.” Nightshade scowled. “He’s despicable. He took her Magic Knot when she was a babe and refused to return it when she went to the Seelie Court.”

Ana stopped swinging her legs and stilled. “Without your stones, you’re incomplete.”

Ruby snorted. “So everyone keeps telling me. Although I didn’t even know I had a Magic Knot until a few days ago.”

Ana clapped her hands. “There’s your answer, lass. You need your stones to gain full control of your power. I’m thinking that explains your fertility problem, too.”

Ruby gawked. Could her Magic Knot really be that vital?

Nightshade’s breath hissed in, and he gripped her hand. “Kade must be stunting your development to control you!”

“How can three small stone rings have such an effect?”

“Don’t be fooled by their appearance.” Ana motioned to Nightshade, who dug his Magic Knot out of his jeans’ pocket and held it on his palm. “Look at the stones properly. With your
power.
”

Ruby narrowed her eyes and slipped into her artist’s vision. Shiny tendrils of energy radiated from the stones, forming a matrix of pulsing light around Nightshade. The tendrils trailed off in all directions, some disappearing up through the ceiling, some down through the floor, others winding around Ana and herself. She spread her palm, and fine threads of Nightshade’s life force danced around her hand, yet she couldn’t feel them.

“Amazing,” she whispered.

“What do you see?” Ana asked.

“Shiny spaghetti.” Ruby reached for Nightshade’s hand. Numerous fine streamers of energy shot from him toward her. When they touched, the shiny threads knitted into a matrix around their joined hands. “Amazing spaghetti.”

“Didn’t you see the same thing with Twister’s Magic Knot?” Nightshade asked.

Her mind had been on other things when she’d seen Twister’s stones. “What does it look like when two people are bonded?” she asked.

Ana chuckled. “You’ll have to tell us. I don’t know anyone else who can see the energy of the Magic Knot. Not even Troy.”

Childish satisfaction blossomed at the thought she could do something that Mr. Luminous Psycho couldn’t. Then the reason for the conversation came back to her and Ruby’s pleasure faded. “The doctors said I had an ovulation problem, and the chances of me having a baby were slim. I need to get my Magic Knot from Kade to find out if it helps.”

“I’ll come with you to face him,” Nightshade said.

Their last disastrous visit to the Seelie Court played back through Ruby’s mind. “I can’t see how we’re going to make him hand it over.”

Nightshade’s jaw muscles tensed and his nostrils flared. “We need help.”

“We can’t take Devin again. Not after last time,” Ruby said, remembering how both Devin and Aila had suffered.

“I know of only one person who’ll intimidate Kade,” Nightshade said.

Ruby’s heart jolted and then dropped like a lump of lead.

Not bloody Troy again.

Nightshade had summoned Troy before Ruby even had a chance to dress. The psycho must have been hanging around, because he appeared immediately, glowing and glittering with an ostentatious hair ornament and sparkly buttons like a fairy from the top of a Christmas tree. A smile flashed over Ruby’s face at the thought of a spiky evergreen wedged up Troy’s behind.

As she was naked underneath the bedcovers, she couldn’t get up. “You could have given me a moment to get my togs on,” she whispered to Nightshade.

Troy’s gelid blue gaze settled on her. “Don’t trouble yourself on my account. I’ve seen all there is to see many times over.”

“Wow,” Ruby replied. “I feel so much better knowing I’m nearly naked in the presence of the world’s oldest Peeping Tom.”

His expression didn’t change, but the room temperature dropped about ten degrees.

“You’re playing with fire, Ruby,” Nightshade whispered out of the corner of his mouth.