The Sacrifice (The Alexandra Denton Chronicles Book 4) (6 page)

              “Matt…” I whispered cautiously but a tremble shook through him and he sunk to the ground, unconscious. 

              “Shit,” I said as I moved toward him and knelt beside him worried that he’d had a heart attack.  His breaths rose and fell steadily and I breathed in relief.  It had all been too much for him.  He’d just passed out.

              I pulled my phone out and tried to call Ky but he didn’t answer.  I cursed at the phone.  He was probably still angry at me even though he didn’t really have a reason to be.  I called everyone but Daniel but they didn’t answer their phone.  Finally, I closed my eyes.  Ky could be mad even though he wouldn’t have a right to be.  I had tried to call him. 

              Finally, I touched Daniel’s name on the screen and watched as it began to ring.  I put the phone to my ear just as he answered. 

              “I need your help,” I said but he was there before I had even finished the sentence.  His gift really did come in handy. 

              “What happened?” He asked as he saw my brother lying on the ground. 

              “I used my gift to tell him everything and he didn’t take it well,” I said with a sigh before facing Daniel again, “I need to get him back to the car.”

              Daniel nodded as he grabbed my hand and put his hand on Matt’s chest.  A second later we were in my car.  Matt’s eyes fluttered and finally opened as he glanced around confused. 

              His breathing quickened, “Was that real?” He asked, frowning, “Or did I fall asleep?  Please tell me that was a dream.” 

              I winced, “I can’t tell you that.  I can only tell you that it was real,” I said as guilt slid through me.  I put my hands out, “Just don’t pass out again.”

              Matt nodded as he glanced back at Daniel and jumped, “I guess he got here with his gift?” He asked with wide eyes as he remembered everything that I had shown him.

              “He got us back to the car with his gift too,” I said with a shrug, “It was the only way.”

              Matt nodded and I waited with baited breathe to see if he was going to pass out again.  After a moment, he met my eyes. 

              “I need to talk to Dad,” He said, pleading, “I need to talk to him now.” 

              I nodded as I pulled out my phone again, “I’ll call him until he answers,” I said, smiling, “You’ll talk to him before you go home.  I promise.”

              I began to dial my father as I watched Matt closely.  I suppose one good thing had come from Lucifer’s attack.  Matt seemed as if he had forgiven our father.

              I shifted uncomfortably as my father’s car pulled into the parking lot of the park.  I raised my brows as he hesitated and glanced at us warily before getting out of the car.  His eyes rested on Matt and he winced.  Finally, he walked over to us with a slow gait and his head down. 

              When he finally reached us, I sighed, “Daddy, Matt knows everything now,” I said, swallowing hard as I waited for him to raise his head and meet my eyes.  I gave him a small reassuring smile and continued, “He understands why you had such a hard time.  He realizes why you were gone from his life so long.” 

              His eyes rested on Matt and he frowned as he took in his expression.  Matt still shook slightly and he had paled considerably but at least he was conscious, “How did you take it?” He asked, narrowing his eyes as he scrutinized his son. 

              “Well, Alex used that misty thing on me that shows her memories,” he said with wide eyes as he shook himself, “That shocked me enough that I passed out.  I had hoped it was a dream but it wasn’t.”

              My father’s eyes swung to meet mine, “Alex, you couldn’t have told him in a different way?  Did you even try to speak it before doing that thing you do?”

              “Do you think he would have believed me?” I asked and then, gave a short laugh, “Daddy, you have too much faith in my ability to explain things.  I rely on that gift so much more than you think…Besides, it’s quicker and
you
told me to use that gift on him.”

              “He could have hurt himself when he fell,” my dad scolded and I sighed, heavily. 

              “But he didn’t,” I said, narrowing my eyes, “Maybe
you
should have told him.  At least that way I wouldn’t have had my methods critiqued.  You know…You said that I was the only one who could tell him without thinking that we were crazy because of my gift.”

              My father nodded his head, “You’re right,” he said and then, patted my shoulder before turning back to Matt.

              I pursed my lips.  That was as close to an apology as I was going to get.  My dad didn’t believe in saying he was sorry.  Instead, he ignored that he was ever wrong.

              “Anyway, Matt wanted to talk to you,” I said, rolling my eyes, “I thought we owed him that after what he’d just been through.” 

              Our father turned back to him and then, nodded as they walked away so they could speak in private, leaving me alone with Daniel.  An awkward silence fell around us as we glanced anywhere but at each other. 

              Finally, Daniel gazed at me until I turned to him, “Alex, we’re friends, right?” He asked, frowning as he searched my face.

              I nodded as guilt moved through me once again, “Of course we are,” I said, shifting beneath his gaze, “It’s just…hard.”

              It was silent again for a while as he stared at my dad and Matt.  His brown eyes darkened in sadness.  Finally, he turned back to me. 

“Is it because of what I did?” He asked and then, his shoulders slumped forward as he sighed, heavily, “I will always be sorry for that.  I hope you know that.”

              I gave him a small smile and then, shook my head, “It’s not that…At least not anymore,” I said, shifting again, “I’m over it.  You sacrificed yourself to save me.  I think that makes us even.”

              He frowned as he stared into my face.  His chest rose and fell slowly before he spoke again, “I’m not trying to cause problems between you and Ky.  I care about you too much for that…I love you too much for that.  I want you to be happy.”

              “You’re in love with me too and Ky sees it,” I said, swallowing, “But that’s not the problem either.  The problem lies with how I feel about you.  Ky knows and that makes it worse.”

              “You still love me,” he stated before he sighed and ran his hand through his hair, “But you are with Ky and neither of us would act on it.  He has to know that.”

              “You’re right,” I said, glancing toward where my father and Matt spoke, “We wouldn’t act on it but he’s still jealous.”

              He gave me a small smile, “I am happy with being just your friend.  I know I messed up.  I’m happy that you still want to speak to me.  I don’t deserve even that.  So, I’m thankful.”

              “I know,” I said with a sigh, “Honestly, it’s not your fault.  He’s so jealous that it is tearing me a part.  He won’t let it go.  He’s upset that he wasn’t the one to sacrifice himself for me.  He’s upset that I can’t just throw away feelings we’ve had since we were little.”

              I glanced up to see Daniel’s face contort in pain, “I’m so sorry,” he said, “I never mean to cause you pain.  If there is anything that I can do to help, let me know.”

              I shook my head and then, shrugged my shoulders, “Honestly, I’m not sure there is any way to help,” I said, sorrowfully, “But thank you for offering.” 

I gazed back toward my father and Matt as a great sense of depression washed over me.  Worse, I realized that once Ky heard that I’d called Daniel, it would get worse.

**********

              Ky was waiting for me when I got home.  Though his eyes swept over me in concern, they were still hazed from anger because I chose to speak to Matt without him.  I narrowed my eyes at him because he didn’t have a right to be angry.  However, I did. 

              I walked to my deck without speaking to him but I realized that he followed.  When I reached the railing I turned, allowing him to see the anger upon my face, “I called you,” I said as my breath quickened with the heat of my anger, “You didn’t answer.”

              He shrugged as if it shouldn’t matter, “You said you didn’t need me so I figured that you were okay,” He said, giving the real reason of why he was angry.  I rolled my eyes at how ridiculous he was being.

              I raised my chin, determined to make him understand, “My brother passed out once I used my gift on him.  I did need you in that moment,” I said through clenched teeth, “You weren’t there.”

              He shrugged again with a look of infuriating indifference upon his face, “So, call you dad,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest, “I’m sure he would run to help you.” 

              “I did,” I said, raising my brow and he grinned until I continued, “But he didn’t answer and I tried every other member of the Appointed.  Daniel is the one who came when I called.”

              His face turned completely red as he faced me in shock and he nearly shouted, “You called him?”

              “You didn’t give me much choice,” I said and then, shook my head, “And you are still mad even though it was your fault that I had to call him.”

              His eyes narrowed, “You have no idea what it’s like to go out with you…Sometimes, it’s just…too much.”

              I blinked as his words sunk in.  Suddenly, my anger was gone and all that was left was the guilt and sadness.  I stared into Ky’s face and I watched as he realized what he’d said. 

              “Alex, I didn’t mean it,” he said, paling as he studied me but it was too late.  He’d said what I had suspected all along and the damage was done. 

              “Yes, you did,” I said as my heart broke into.  A tear rolled slowly down my cheek as he took a step toward me.  

              “I love you, Alex,” he said as his eyes widened and I realized he was trying to take away everything he’d said but it was still there.  It was still hanging over us. 

              “I know you do,” I said as I swallowed over a lump in my throat and I whispered the rest of my suspicions that I now knew were true, “But you don’t want to.” 

              “Alex, don’t…” He pleaded, trying to reach for me but I moved away from him as he cried, “Don’t ruin us.”

              Another tear fell as I met his eyes, “Ky, no matter how much I love you or you love me, it’s already ruined.  I can’t do this anymore.”

              I backed away from him as he shook his head in denial.  He ran his hand through his hair, “No…” he whispered. 

              I moved further away from him toward the door, “I’m so sorry that I’ve hurt you,” I said through a sob, “But it’s going to continue until I know who I’m supposed to be with.  Until then, I’ve got to let you go.  I’m done hurting people.”

              I heard him inhale sharply as I turned and walked away from someone I loved more than myself but it was still not enough.  My heart was broken and so was I as I walked away feeling the weight of everything I had caused falling down on me.

              My body shook as the tears fell down my face and into the pillow as I sobbed harder than I ever had before.  I couldn’t take a deep breath instead I gasped as the pain in my chest grew larger and larger until that was all that I was…pain.  I closed my eyes as I thought of my life and the mess it had become.  I realized it was my fault…All my fault.  I was determined to fix it.  I just didn’t know how.

              “Alex,” Kelly whispered with worry drenching every word, “What happened?”

              I breathed out slowly as I gazed up at her unsure if I could speak.  I swallowed as I realized that my brothers stood in the doorway with concern marked clearly on their faces.  Kelly sat on her bed staring at me in horror as tears rested in her eyes.  Jonathon crossed the room and sat on the bed, pulling me into his arms and hugging me in a way that only a brother could.  He was silent for a while, rocking me back and forth as he allowed me to cry.  When the tears finally faded, he kissed the top of my head.

              “Do I need to kick someone’s ass?” He asked, causing my chest to loosen and the pain to fade a bit.  I couldn’t help but to laugh as I raised my eyes to his and shook my head.

              “No,” I said, sniffling and wiping my tears with the back of my hand, “This is my fault.  If you were going to kick anyone’s ass, it would have to be mine.”

              He raised his brow, “Well, I don’t want to do that,” he said and then frowned as he studied my face and tried to decipher what had happened, “What exactly is your fault?”  

              “I broke up with Ky,” I said as I took a shaky breath and clasped my hands in front of me. 

              Jeremy blinked in surprise, “It doesn’t look like you wanted to, Alex,” he said, confused as he took a step forward, “Why would you do it, if you didn’t want to?’

              I rubbed my temples as a dull headache began and then, gazed up at Jeremy, “I was hurting him,” I said swallowing over the bitter, metallic lump in my throat, “How could I not be?  I’m in love with three people.  It would have to be torture for him.”

              Jonathon nodded, understanding immediately, “Ky, Daniel and Semarias, right?”

              I glanced up at him, “Yes,” I whispered as I clutched my chest with the pain of it, “It makes me a horrible person, doesn’t it?”

              “No,” Jonathon said, giving me a small smile, “You didn’t cheat on Ky.  You tried.  You even broke up with him because it was best for him.  You’re not horrible, Alex.  You’re doing what you need to for him…For all of them.  It sounds pretty selfless actually.”

              Jeremy tilted his head as he studied my face, “What are you going to do now?”

              “I’m going to figure out who I really love,” I said with a sigh, “If it’s Semarias, I can’t be with him so I’d stay single but if it’s Daniel or Ky, that’s who I’ll be with.  I’ll figure it out but I won’t be with anyone until I do.  I’m not going to hurt anyone else by making them watch me struggle with loving someone else and dating them.”

              Jonathon gave me a hug, “That’s a good idea,” he said and then, smiled as he rubbed his thumb across my cheek to wipe the remainder of my tears away.

              I nodded suddenly very tired, “I think I need to focus on the Appointed right now,” I said, glancing at my pillow, “I think I need to get some sleep and hopefully have a vision that will get us out of this mess.  Then, I’ll focus on what I’m supposed to do about my love life.”

              “We’ll stay with you until you fall asleep, Little Big Sister,” Jonathon said with a grin. 

              I smiled, “Thank you, Big Little Brother,” I said, laying back onto my pillow.  Kelly tucked me in.  Their presence calmed me and within minutes I fell quickly into the black abyss of sleep.

**********

              Even before I opened my eyes, I sensed his presence.  On some level, I realized even as I fell asleep that he would take advantage of my pain and visit me.  My eyes narrowed as I faced Lucifer. 

His gaze swept over me taking in my tear-drenched face and then, he grinned.  His eyes were dark red and I would have had the need to shrink away from him if I wasn’t so miserable. 

              “Too many loves for Alex?’ He asked narrowing his eyes.  For a moment, his eyes lost the red glow but it quickly returned as he stepped toward me, “There is a way out and the beauty of it is that you wouldn’t have to choose one of them.  You’d die and they would all know that you loved them.”

              I raised my brow as I faced Lucifer.  After everything I’d been through I found it easy to meet his gaze.  I nearly laughed at that realization, “I’m not interested in your way out,” I said and rolled my eyes, “I’m not running away from my life.”

              He chuckled because he saw the temptation there, “Are you sure?”

              I pursed my lips at his insistence, “I’m sure,” I said and then, sighed, annoyed, “What do you want, Lucifer?”

              “You but you keep refusing,” he said, stepping closer.  When I didn’t tense or flinch away from him, he paused surprised.  He raised a brow as he gazed into my face.  All the red faded from his eyes. 

              He frowned and for a moment, he seemed concerned that he wasn’t able to frighten me.  I met his gaze steadily and raised a brow as I spoke, “I’ll continue to refuse.”

              He scoffed as he moved even closer to me, “Even though you’re hurting, Alex,” he asked stepping around my body and stopping to lean close to my ear.  His breath caressed my cheek, “I’m sure I could convince you.”

              I shook my head and laughed, “I would tell you to go to hell but you’re already there,” I said and then, shrugged, “So, go fuck yourself, Lucifer.”

              His eyes began to glow once more, “I’ve been nice so far, Alex.”

              I laughed, “Nice…You want me or one of the Appointed to sacrifice our lives just so that you can be happy that you took someone we love and care about more than our own selves.  You’ve threatened us numerous times and sent your demons to kill us and our descendants.  Not to mention that you sent Asmodis to possess Drake for a whole decade or that you allowed Jezebel to make everyone think I was suicidal.  That’s nice?”

              His eyes narrowed, “That was nice,” he said as the color heightened in his cheeks and he faced me, “I supposed I’ll have to show you what being mean is.  Maybe then you’ll have some respect for me.”

              “I will never respect you, Lucifer,” I said, raising my chin, “I never have and I never will.”

              He grabbed me.  Finally, the fear kicked in and I tried to move back from his too hot embrace as he hissed, “I’ve always wanted your blood, Alex but since I can’t shed it here, I’ll take what I can get.”

              My breath hitched in my throat as I heard a voice, “Alex, wake up!” 

              “Daniel,” I whispered and instantly darkness surrounded me.  Lucifer’s roar echoed around me as he lost his grip on me and his hands ghosted through me.  I closed my eyes and blocked Lucifer from my vision as I woke from the dream.

**********

              “Alex, wake up!”  I blinked my eyes, terrified as I moved back until I was sitting up against the headboard. I trembled uncontrollably as I realized how close I had come to being raped by Lucifer.  Tears burned my eyes and scalded my cheeks as I finally took a breath that I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.  Finally, I glanced around my room, allowing my gaze to fall upon the one who’d saved me from that fate when he woke me.

              “Daniel,” I said almost breathlessly.  Tears fell down my cheeks as I shook even more.  My trembling hand moved upward and brushed my hair from my cheeks, trying to wipe my tears as I did before facing him again, “What are you doing here?”

              He shifted as guilt clouded his eyes and then, sighed, “I heard what happened between you and Ky from Jonathon and I wanted to make sure you were okay.  I swear I was just going to check on you and leave.  I wasn’t even going to wake you but you were having a nightmare.  It looked like a really bad one too.  I couldn’t leave you like that.”

              I sighed in relief, “I won’t tell you how stalker-like that is,” I said putting my hand to my heart and feeling the hard pounds beneath my fingertips, “However, I’m really glad you were here.  So, I forgive you.”

              He smiled but concern still blanketed his face, “I don’t want to be your stalker,” he said with a shrug, “I was trying to be your friend.  I wasn’t expecting anything else.  I really just wanted to make sure you were okay.  I understand that breaking up with Ky had to be hard.”

              “You don’t have to explain, Daniel,” I said and then, bit my lip, “I appreciate that you aren’t expecting anything though.  I couldn’t give it to you even if you were.”

              “You’re trying to figure out everything?” He asked, tilting his head as he studied me. 

              I nodded before I shrugged, “I don’t want people to hurt because of me anymore.  I hurt Ky because I love you and Semarias too.  Not cheating on Ky wasn’t enough.  It wouldn’t be enough for you either.”

              He nodded his head and then, shrugged, “No,” he said and gave a short laugh, “If you ever wanted to be with me again, I would hope that it was because you were in love with me and only me.  I wouldn’t want to share you with anyone else.”

              “I know I’ve hurt you, Daniel,” I said, frowning as I gazed into his eyes, “I’m so sorry.  I really didn’t want to.  All of this just happened.”

              Daniel’s brows raised, “I think that’s my fault,” he said as he pursed his lips, “If I had never chosen Renee, this wouldn’t have happened.  I had your devotion and ruined it.  That’s my fault.  Everything that you are going through wouldn’t have happened if I’d been loyal.  You have no idea how much it hurts to realize that I screwed up but that’s on me…Not you.  Now, I realize you’re still going through the pain I caused.  Whether you realize it or not, this is on me too.  You may have all of those feelings but I truly believe that they wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for me being disloyal to you.”

              His willingness to take the blame for me touched me, “I do love you, Daniel,” I said with a sad smile.  I knew it didn’t mean much in that moment but I wanted him to know.

              “I know you do,” he said, “And I love you too, Alex.  I love you enough to wait and I love you enough to let you go if that is what you want,” he said.  I nodded.  I didn’t know what to say but I really didn’t have to because he graciously changed the subject, “So, what was the dream about?”  He asked, studying my face closely.

              “Lucifer,” I said, shaking, “He wasn’t happy with the usual threats this time.  I think he was about to rape me when you woke me up.”

              Daniel inhaled sharply.  His nostrils flared as anger covered his face, “I’m glad I woke you up,” he said through clenched teeth.

              “Me too,” I said, wincing as my mind offered images of what Lucifer could have done.  I wondered briefly what would have happened had Daniel been there to witness it and then, my eyes widened as I thought of who
might
have been there, “I think I should call Leighton and make sure that he stays in my dreams for the rest of the night and also to see if he saw what happened.  If he did, then he’s probably freaking out.”

              “That’s a good idea,” Daniel said, uncertainly before exhaling in a long rush, “I guess I’ll go.”

              “I would rather you stay until I go back to sleep,” I said, softly.  I was much more comfortable since I knew that Daniel wouldn’t ask anything of me but friendship for the time being. 

              He nodded as he sat on the edge of the bed.  I called Leighton and told him what had happened and I was thankful that he hadn’t witnessed the exchange between me and Lucifer.  He promised he would be in my dreams for the rest of the night.  With that done, I laid down and the last thing I remembered before going to sleep was Daniel pushing a lock of my hair away from my face.