The Saint and the Sinner (19 page)

But now he was a man with every breath he drew – a man she loved.

‘Everything is really in the mind,’ Pandora reasoned in her mind, touching the sundial with her fingers.

Some words of Milton came to her and she felt that she longed to say them to the Earl,

‘The
mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a Heaven
of
Hell, a Hell
of
Heaven.’

“It is the mind that counts,” Pandora said aloud, and not always one’s actions.”

Only the Earl would understand her reasoning, and she longed to tell him what she had thought out for herself:

“‘A Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven: That is what I want him to find at Chart – a Heaven where he had previously thought it Hell, in his hatred of everything for which it stands.”

She clasped her hands together and whispered, “I will make him understand – I will make him realise how he can –change the past into a new – future.”

Because she felt she could not wait to see him again, Pandora ran back to the house.

Then as she walked from the Salon into the hall, preparatory to going upstairs, she came to a standstill and felt as if she had turned to stone.

The front door was open and outside she could see a carriage she recognised.

She had been expecting her uncle, but now that he was here she was desperately afraid.

She felt like a child who had been caught out in doing something incredibly naughty and knew there was no escape from the punishment it entailed.

Feeling that she must have gone very pale, her fingers were cold, Pandora waited.

Then, to her astonishment, instead of seeing her uncle’s tall, gaunt figure coming up the steps, Burrows, who had gone to the door of the carriage, returned alone, holding something in his hand.

He took a silver salver from where it was standing on a side-table and came towards Pandora.

“A note for you, Miss.”

For a moment it was difficult for Pandora to move, then with an effort she took the note from the salver and went back into the Salon.

It was such a relief not to see her uncle, to know that he had not come in person as she had expected, that it was hard to think of anything else.

She could only stare at what she held in her hand, recognising the strong, upright writing in which he had inscribed her name, and thinking at the eleventh hour she had escaped being decapitated.

She opened the envelope.

The writing danced in front of her eyes, then she forced herself to read what was written there.

My Dear Niece,

Your Aunt and I have returned from London to learn from Mr. Prosper Witheridge of your outrageous and unforgiveable behaviour as soon as our backs were turned.

I cannot credit that any decently brought up girl should act in such an unconventional and deceitful manner which could only bring deserved retribution in its train.

Your Aunt and I have discussed your behaviour, which has given us deep distress, and we have decided regretfully that in the circumstances we cannot invite you to return here to us at the Palace.

My Chaplain informs me that your behaviour is already being talked about in Lindchester, and to condone such behaviour would involve me personally and certainly your Aunt in a situation I can only describe as extremely unpleasant.

I can therefore only hope that your Chart relations are prepared to offer you a home and see to your welfare, as we have attempted to do.

It is with a feeling both of distress and of personal failure that I leave you to your conscience and to the mercy of God.

Pandora read the letter wide-eyed. Then, as if she could hardly believe the information she had received, she read it again.

She was free! Her uncle had relinquished his hold over her and abandoned her to her fate!

It was what she had wanted, and yet somehow she felt a little frightened now that it had actually happened.

Now she was alone, completely alone, in a manner in which she had never before been alone in the whole of her life.

Then she saw that there was something else included in the letter. It was a piece of paper and when she opened it she saw that it was a cheque.

She stared in surprise until she realised that it was made out for forty-two pounds and must be exactly what was left of her father and mother’s money.

She realised that the Bishop had deducted all expenses for the funeral and she was sure a certain sum for her keep since she had been at the Palace.

But at least she was not entirely penniless. Holding the letter and cheque in her hand, she left the Salon and walked slowly up the stairs.

Mrs. Meadowfield was ready to leave the Earl as soon as Pandora appeared.

She came out into the passage to say,

“I thought you’d like to know, Miss, that the ladies who were staying here asked the maids to include all sorts of things in their luggage which was not theirs.”

“I rather expected that, Mrs. Meadowfield,” Pandora said gravely.

“Like magpies, they were,” Mrs. Meadowfield said scathingly. “Cushion-covers, lace face-towels, and ornaments off the dressing-tables what have been here for years – all would have been removed if they’d had their way.”

She paused before going on indignantly,

“And that Miss King had even secreted in her handbag three of the miniatures from the Countess’s room.”

“She was not allowed to take them, Mrs. Meadowfield?” Pandora asked in alarm.

“No, Miss. Fortunately, she leaved her handbag behind when she went to another lady’s room, and I’ve put them back on the wall where they belong.”

Oh, thank you, thank you,” Pandora said. “I knew you would understand when I mentioned the snuff-boxes.”

“Miss King asked me where they were,” Mrs. Meadowfield said, “and I told her they had all gone to be repaired. There was nothing she could do about them then.”

“No, indeed,” Pandora agreed.

However much the Earl might think it was interfering, she was glad that she had saved the treasures of Chart Hall.

She was also certain that Mr. Farrow, once he reached London, would prevent anything from being stolen from Chart House.

“Those women are as unscrupulous and dishonest as Dalton and Mr. Anstey!” she told herself as she went to the Earl’s bedroom.

She wished that she could tell him what had happened, but she knew it would be wiser if she said nothing.

He might resent her interference, and if it suited him he would be quite prepared to say that he wished to give Kitty and the other women anything they wanted to have.

She could still hear him saying that he would leave nothing but the bare walls for his successors.

It struck her that if he was so ready to dispose of the contents of Chart Hall, he would be even more ready to dispose of her.

For a moment she had thought his hatred of the family had evaporated because of what she had told him about her mother’s desire to help. Yet, she could be sure of nothing –least of all what he felt about her. Once again she went to kneel at his side.

Because he was so still and silent she had a sudden, terrifying fear that he might have died without her being aware of it.

Frightened, she put out her hand and slipped it through his nightshirt to feel his heart.

It was beating; then, as she felt it throb against the palm of her hand, she felt a thrill run through her which was even more intense than it had been before.

“I love you – and I – belong to you!” she said beneath her breath.

“I belong to you whether you wish it or not – and I shall never love – anyone else! Because you are you – you fill my – whole life, now and forever.

It was almost in the nature of a vow, and as her words died away in the silence of the bed-room Pandora knew they were true.

She had laid herself completely and absolutely at his feet and nothing he could say or do could ever alter that.

Chapter Seven

“Thank you, Farrow, I will see you tomorrow,” the Earl said. “I hope to be up by then.”

“I hope so too, M’Lord,” Michael Farrow replied. He picked up from the bed the papers they had been discussing, bowed, and left.

As soon as the door closed behind him the Earl looked into the far corner of the room and clicked his fingers.

Instantly something small, swift, and agile jumped onto the bed to lie beside him, licking his hand and ingratiating herself with every movement of her body.

The Earl fondled the soft ears of the spaniel.

“I suppose you know you are going to get into a lot of trouble for being on the satin cover.”

His voice only seemed to excite the dog further and she licked the Earl’s hand in a fervour of admiration.

It was the first thing the Earl had known on coming back to consciousness from what he learnt afterwards was three days of delirium.

Hazily he had wondered who could be kissing his hand. Then, looking down, he saw the brown eyes of a small black and white spaniel.

“Her name is Juno,” a quiet voice said, and he saw Pandora rise from where she had been sitting by the window.

“Who said I wanted a dog?” the Earl enquired drowsily, but as he asked the question he knew the answer.

It was another chain to link him to Chart. Pandora did not reply. She stood looking down at him and he thought she had the same expression in her eyes as Juno did.

She had in fact called on every Keeper on the Estate before she found a dog which she thought would suit the Earl.

She had known from the moment she took Juno into the sick-room that her choice had been a wise one.

The bitch seemed to understand exactly what was expected of her. She settled herself down beside the bed as if she knew she was waiting for her master to awaken.

Almost despite himself, the Earl in the last few days had found it impossible to resist her blandishments, and despite all Pandora’s admonishing Juno would jump onto the bed when there was no-one else in the room.

Now, with a hearing that was more acute than the Earl’s, she slipped back onto the floor and into the comer from where she had come a second before the door opened.

Pandora came in, carrying in her hands a tall vase of Madonna lilies.

“I was waiting for Michael Farrow to go,” she said, “to bring you these. They are so lovely and smell divine.”

“And are therefore most inappropriate for a sinner like myself,” the Earl said mockingly. “You should keep them in your own room, Pandora. I have always been told they are the emblem of saintliness.”

Ever since he had been well enough to do so he had teased her, and they duelled with words as they had before.

As Pandora set the lilies down on one of the inlaid chest of drawers he went on,

“Farrow has been telling me how busy you have been since I was laid up.”

Pandora stiffened a little nervously.

She had not told him anything she had done after the duel, reasoning to herself that it was because she did not wish him to be troubled.

But if she was honest she knew that it was because she was afraid he would think she was interfering.

“You sent old Farrow to close the London house,” the Earl said, and she thought his voice was accusing.

It was the – end of the Season,” Pandora answered in a low voice, “and I thought it was – unnecessary for you to employ so – many servants when you were – unlikely to go there until it is – cooler.”

“The Theatres are still open in London.”

The Earl spoke the words deliberately and watched Pandora’s face.

He saw the colour rise in her cheeks, but she turned away so that all he could see was the back of her head as she walked towards the window.

“It will be quite – easy to – reopen the house.”

“You arranged for someone called Winslow to make an inventory, so Farrow tells me. He has marked in items that are missing. I expect you would like to see it.”

“It – it is not my – business,” Pandora replied.

“No?” the Earl questioned. “I thought you would be concerned.”

She did not speak, and after a moment he went on,

“Farrow was also telling me how difficult it was to find the money which Kitty required before she left. He even had to borrow ten pounds of it from the Vicar.”

He laughed as he added,

“That was certainly a case of the Church providing the damned with more than a drop of water.”

Pandora turned round.

“Please, do not – talk like – that,” she pleaded.

“You may have – thought it wrong of me – but otherwise she would – have refused to go, and it was – essential that you should not be – disturbed.”

“And, as you so rightly thought, she was a disturbing influence.”

Again the Earl’s voice was mocking.

“I am – sorry if anything I did was – wrong,” Pandora murmured. “I knew I should not intrude – but in the – circumstances I thought I was – doing what was – best.”

“From your point of view – or mine?” the Earl enquired.

“From yours, of course,” Pandora answered. “It had nothing to do with me.”

“Chart had nothing to do with you?” the Earl queried. “Now really, Saint Pandora, what you are saying comes perilously near to being a lie.”

Pandora clasped her hands together.

“I love Chart, you know I – love it!” she said. “But it is yours, your house, your Estate – your Kingdom!”

The Earl smiled.

“My Milton is coming back to me. What you are saying is: I am ‘
as he who seeking asses, found a kingdom
.’”

“Have you found it?” Pandora enquired.

She spoke with an intensity that surprised herself. Then she knew it was the question she had been longing to ask him ever since he had been well enough to take an interest in what was happening round him, to see Farrow, and to give orders.

The Earl held out his hand.

“Come here, Pandora,” he said. “I want to talk to you.”

Almost as if she was reluctant and nervous, she moved very slowly a few steps towards him before she said,

“If you are – well enough, I want to – talk to you.