“Home,” Lillian echoed. “Do you mean that?”
“I certainly do.” She put the spoon down and took a deep breath. “I can’t take Emmey by myself. I don’t even know if I can ride. I don’t have a horse, for that matter. Or coin. I need your help. With everything.” The enormity of what lay ahead overwhelmed her. She motioned for Lillian to take the tray and covered her eyes with her hand. When Lillian sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Maddy toward her, Maddy didn’t protest.
“We’re in this together,” Lillian murmured, rubbing Maddy’s back. “I’ll be here to push and cheer you along, whether you like it or not.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Maddy’s eyes slid shut. She drifted off to sleep in Lillian’s arms.
“H
ere you are,” Lillian said, bustling in with a short shift, a shirt, a riding skirt, and a pair of sandals. “Arthur gave me these.”
Wrapped in a blanket and perched on the edge of the bed, Maddy lifted her head. “I thought you said you’d brought me clothes from Merrin.”
“Just a robe and a shift.”
“I’m a sister. I should be robed.” But all those buttons! “Will you robe me? I can try the buttons, but we’ll be here all day. I think I can handle the shift on my own, though. I’ll wear that one.”
“You can’t ride in your robe. Put these on for now. I’ll robe you when we go out for a walk later.”
“To look for Emmey?”
Lillian nodded and dropped the clothes onto the bed.
“All right.” Acutely aware that Lillian was watching, Maddy stood. Since the shift didn’t have buttons, she expected it to be easy, but she was mistaken. Her stump only mildly complained when Lillian helped guide it into a sleeve. Lillian had stopped applying the poultice days ago, so the bandages covering it were dry.
Maddy no longer turned away when Lillian changed the dressing. By the time she’d finally forced herself to look, her stump couldn’t live up to the hideous monstrosity her imagination had created. Impatience was now her primary adversary. She wanted to learn how to do everything herself—right now!
Next, the riding skirt. It took Maddy less than a minute to drop it onto the floor, step into it, and pull it to her waist over the shift. She turned her attention to the shirt, eyeing its buttons with trepidation. “No!” she snapped when Lillian reached for the first button. “Let me try.” Five minutes later, she was still struggling to fasten the button. “Every time I’m just about to thread it in, it slips!” she said with exasperation.
“Do you want me to do it?” Lillian had already stepped toward her several times.
“I have to do at least one.” She tried a new tack, pushing the buttonhole toward the button. “Ugh! That’s worse than before.”
“It might be easier if it fit you better.”
Maddy nodded. A moment later she raised her arms to clap when the button finally went through the buttonhole and stayed. At the last moment, she lifted her left hand above her head.
“What was that?” Lillian asked, amused.
“A half-cheer. I was going to clap,” Maddy said wryly, then sighed. “You might as well do the rest.” She’d dress herself, in time.
Lillian made fast work of the buttons, then wrapped her travelling cloak around Maddy’s shoulders and buttoned its collar. “You need it more than I do. Are you feeling all right?”
“Not perfect, but better than I have in a long time.” She slipped into the pair of sandals; they were a bit big for her.
Lillian studied her. “You’ve put on a bit of weight, but your robe will probably dwarf you.” She smiled. “We’ll see how it looks. Are you ready?”
More than ready. Glad to leave the room behind, Maddy didn’t stop for one last look around.
Arthur and Barnabus were waiting in the hall. “The horses are ready. You’ll ride Griffin,” Barnabus said to Maddy. “I’ll lead him.”
“What about you?”
“It’s only an hour’s walk to Reedwick, Sister.”
“One of my friends has agreed to lend you a mare to get you to Garryglen,” Arthur said to Maddy.
“Thank you, again,” Barnabus said. “I promise we’ll leave her with the guardsman you mentioned.”
“It’s the least I can do.” Arthur turned to Lillian. “May I have a word with Sister Maddy alone? I can walk her to the horses.”
“We’ll meet you outside, then.” Lillian strolled away with Barnabus.
“Reckon you’ll be wanting this.” Arthur led Maddy into the room across the hall from her former sickroom and pulled open a desk drawer. He handed her the letter to Lillian she’d entrusted to him. “I was under the impression it was meant to be given because you’d gone to Salbine. Since you didn’t, I thought I’d hang onto it, let you deliver it yourself.”
“Thank you. You did right.” The sappy sentiments it contained would probably have Lillian kicking Baxter into a gallop so she could get away from Maddy as quickly as possible!
Arthur motioned for her to leave his office before him. “It’ll be odd, not having you here, but I’m glad to see you go. It was a disgrace having you here in the first place, and it cost you dearly. I can’t say how sorry I am.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Arthur. You didn’t send me here.”
“If another sister ever passes through this prison’s gates, I’ll protest loudly.”
Every other sister could demonstrate her connection to Salbine. And deterred by the risk to himself and his family, Arthur would probably handle the situation in the same manner, should a sister find her way here regardless. She couldn’t blame him. “I might pass through these gates again, as a visitor.” The prison was only a couple of days’ detour from the route to Heath. “I hope you’ll receive me warmly, if I do.”
“I’d welcome a visit from you, Sister.” They stepped into the morning sun. “Can you let me know if you find Emmey?”
“I’ll send a message through the guard.”
“It’ll put my mind at ease, knowing the lass is all right.”
Hers too. They joined Lillian and Barnabus. Maddy nodded to Arthur. “Good-bye, Arthur.”
“Good-bye, Sister.” His Adam’s apple bobbed. He blinked, then dropped to one knee.
After a brief moment of confusion, Maddy rested her hand on his head. She hadn’t thought of blessing him. For her, their recent caretaker-and-patient relationship hadn’t erased their initial one as governor and prisoner, but she didn’t resent him and wished him well. “May Salbine guide you. May Salbine provide for you. May Salbine keep you.”
He lifted his head. “Thank you, Sister.”
Barnabus boosted her onto Griffin as Lillian mounted Baxter. From the hill where the prison rested, Maddy could see Reedwick below them. She watched its details gradually emerge as they walked down the dirt path.
“Can you slow down a bit?” she said to Barnabus when they passed a group of children playing among the travellers’ tents lining the road into town. No sign of Emmey. Alert for any sign of her young friend, Maddy glanced up every alleyway and checked every doorway, until they stopped in front of a two-storey stone house not far from the market.
“A bit noisy, but it was the best I could do on short notice,” Barnabus said as he reached for Maddy.
“I think I can dismount myself.” She almost managed it, but lost her balance when she tried to steady herself with a right hand that wasn’t there. Barnabus caught her and didn’t let go until both her feet were planted firmly on the ground. “The things I do without thinking are the things that give me the most trouble,” Maddy murmured, more to herself than anyone else.
“You’ll have to change the way you automatically do them,” Lillian said as she glanced around.
“We have to use the stables of a nearby inn, Mistress. I’ve already arranged it with the innkeeper. I thought we’d drop you here, so Sister Maddy can rest.” Barnabus took Baxter’s reins from Lillian. “I’ll take the horses over.”
“I don’t want to rest, I want to look for Emmey,” Maddy said.
Lillian frowned. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” she insisted, unwilling to admit that she did indeed need a nap.
“All right, then.” Lillian unhooked a bag from Ticky’s saddle, accepted a key from Barnabus, and unlocked the door. “I would have preferred no steps,” she said over her shoulder as they entered the common room, “but since we needed somewhere on such short notice, we couldn’t be choosy. At least it’s furnished.”
Maddy eyed the staircase rising to the second floor with dismay. If she climbed those steps to the bedchamber, she’d definitely need a lie-down. “Why don’t you robe me here?”
Lillian set the bag on a table, then opened it and pulled out a deep red robe with billowy sleeves. “It’s a bit creased, but it’ll smooth out.”
“Undoing buttons is much easier than doing them up,” Maddy said as she unbuttoned the shirt. She stepped into the robe and let Lillian lift it to her shoulders. This time she didn’t need help with the sleeves, and stood patiently while Lillian fastened the robe’s buttons.
Lillian stood back. A smile spread across her face. “It’s a bit big on you now, but you look wonderful. A Salbine robe suits you.”
Maddy looked down at herself. A lump formed in her throat. “I’ll grow into it again.”
“I’m sure you will,” Lillian said quietly. She tossed a pair of sandals to the floor. “These are yours, so they’ll fit you better.”
Maddy stepped into them, tutting when the movement made the robe’s right sleeve flop. It looked silly. “Can we pin the sleeve to the robe?”
Lillian grimaced. “If we do, you won’t be able to move your right arm very much.”
“Can we pin it up?”
“Let me put a quick stitch in it,” Lillian said, turning to rummage in the bag. She shook her head. “The needle and thread are in another bag. So are the pins.”
“We’ll do it later, then,” Maddy said, anxious to continue her search for Emmey. “Let’s go.”
“We have to wait for Barnabus. He won’t be long.” Lillian slipped her arm around Maddy’s shoulders and squeezed her. “And don’t overdo it. I know you want to find this girl, but you won’t be much use to her if you make yourself ill.”
Unfortunately Lillian was to Maddy’s right. Maddy tentatively pressed her arm against Lillian’s lower back. “Can you feel that?”
“Of course I can. Most of your arm’s still there.”
True. They’d cut below her elbow. “If you want to hold my hand, you’ll have to make sure you’re on my left.”
“This is fine,” Lillian said firmly. “More than fine.”
They dropped their arms when Barnabus walked in with their remaining bags. Maddy barely gave him enough time to set the bags next to the door before she urged him and Lillian out onto the road. An hour later, discouraged and tired, she reluctantly agreed to return to the house.
“Everyone nearby is looking out for her now,” Lillian said.
“But she could be anywhere,” Maddy said, grateful for Lillian’s steadying hand as she slowly climbed the steps. She sighed. “I suppose it was stupid of me to expect to spot her the moment I rode into Reedwick.” Now she worried they’d never find Emmey at all.
“You’re tired. You’ll feel more optimistic after a rest.”
Lillian lowered Maddy into a chair in the upstairs hallway before popping into all the rooms. “Four bedchambers,” she declared. “Barnabus outdid himself. Here, we’ll put you into the nearest one.”
Exhausted, Maddy lay on the bed without disrobing. “There’s enough room here for you,” she said to Lillian. “Why don’t you have a nap with me?”
“I’m not really tired, but I’ll lie with you for a bit.”
Eyes closed, Maddy heard the door shut. She opened them when the bed creaked to see Lillian staring at the ceiling. The empty inches between them worried her. “If a bard was telling our tale, we’d share a passionate afternoon together now,” she said, hoping to break the tension.
Lillian grinned. “If a bard was telling our tale, we would have been rolling around while your arm was still bandaged with the poultice.”
Maddy burst into laughter, and couldn’t stop. Lillian laughed along with her, both women clutching their stomachs. When she’d calmed down and wiped the tears from her eyes, Maddy turned to Lillian. “I hope there’s a passionate afternoon or evening in our future, when I’m feeling more myself,” she said softly.
Lillian drew back in mock astonishment. “Only one?” She eyed Maddy’s arm, then inched toward it and leaned gently in to Maddy. “That doesn’t hurt, does it?”
“No. I like you on that side, too. My hand’s free.”
“Oh, yes, your left hand.” Lillian’s eyes glinted mischievously. “It’ll have to learn to do what your right hand used to do in the bedchamber. I’m looking forward to that. I want you to know that, when you’re ready, I’ll make myself available so you can practice. It’s the least I can do.”
“You will, will you?” Maddy playfully slapped Lillian’s shoulder. “So you’ll be there to cheer me on when I light the lamp, and make the bed, and stoke the fire?”
Lillian arched an eyebrow.
“I know there are four bedchambers, but why don’t we share this one? I’m sure Barnabus won’t be scandalized.”
“Barnabus?” Lillian snorted. “Of course he won’t. He’s been a defender too many years to be scandalized. He probably knew about us not long after we did.”
Us. Maddy liked the sound of that.
“And I’m sure he knows much more than we’d ever want to know about the nocturnal comings and goings at the monastery.”
“It’s settled, then.” She met Lillian’s eyes. “I’m feeling stronger every day. I’ll soon be myself.”
Lillian brushed Maddy’s lips with hers. “Don’t push yourself on my account. We have plenty of time.” She swallowed. “I hope?”
Maddy smiled. “We do.”
Lillian returned her smile, then lay back. Maddy carefully rolled onto her right arm and snuggled into her. She drifted off, content to be with Lillian but worried about Emmey.
*****
“I think we should go back,” Lillian said, noting Maddy’s drawn face and the perspiration on her brow. The increasing weight Maddy put on Lillian’s supporting right arm over the last fifteen minutes had tipped her off.
A child ran up and smiled at Barnabus. He reached into his purse and handed her a coin.
Maddy shook her head. “No.”
Lillian inwardly sighed. Barnabus had come up with the idea of handing coins to children. Word had quickly spread about the kind man with the two sisters, and children now approached them wherever they went. But no Emmey, despite searching for over a week and losing count of the number of children who’d raced away with coins clutched in their dirty fists.