The ambulance droned its way into the parking area, turned, backed into the garage. Presently, it emerged, drove away with its siren silent.
Piaget came out of the garage.
He was an oddly subdued man, indecisive in his walkâshort strides, soft of step. He saw Dasein, approached with an air of diffidence. There was a smear of blood down the right side of his white smock, black grease at the hem, grease on the left arm.
Blood and greaseâthey struck Dasein as an odd combination but things out of which an entire scene could be reconstructed. He shuddered.
“I ⦠I need a cup of coffee,” Piaget said. He closed his eyes briefly, opened them to stare pleadingly at Dasein. “There's a café around the corner. Would you ⦔ He broke off to take a deep, trembling breath. “I brought that boy into the world.” He shook his head. “Just when you think you're the complete doctor, immune to all personal involvement ⦔
Dasein experienced a surge of compassion for Piaget, stepped away from the fence to take the doctor's arm.
“Where's this café? I could use something myself.”
The café was a narrow brick building squeezed between a hardware store and a dark little shop labeled “Bootery.” The screen door banged behind them. The place smelled of steam and the omnipresent Jaspers. One of Scheler's station attendantsâdark green jacket and white hatâsat at a counter on the left staring into a cup of coffee. A man in a leather apron, horn-callused hands, gray hair, was eating a sandwich at the far end of the counter.
Dasein steered Piaget into a booth opposite the counter, sat down across from him.
The station attendant at the counter, turned, glanced at them. Dasein found himself confronted by a face he knew to be another Schelerâthe same set to the blue eyes, the same blocky figure and dark skin. The man looked at Piaget, said: “Hi, Doc. There was a siren.”
Piaget lifted his gaze from the tabletop, looked at the speaker. The glaze left Piaget's eyes. He took two shallow breaths, looked away, back to the man at the counter.
“Harry,” Piaget said, and his voice was a hoarse croak. “I ⦠couldn't ⦔ He broke off.
The man slid off the counter stool. His face was a pale, frozen mask. “I've been sitting here ⦠feeling ⦔ He brushed a hand across his mouth. “It was ⦠Bill!” He whirled, dashed out of the café. The door slammed behind him.
“That's Scheler's other son,” Piaget said.
“He knew,” Dasein said, and he recalled the experience at the lake, the feeling of rapport.
Life exists immersed in a sea of unconsciousness,
he reminded himself.
In the drug, these people gain a view of that sea.
Piaget studied Dasein a moment, then: “Of course he knew. Haven't you ever had a tooth pulled? Couldn't you feel the hole where it had been?”
A slender red-haired woman in a white apron, lines of worry on her face, came up to the booth, stood looking down at Piaget. “I'll bring your coffee,” she said. She started to turn away, hesitated. “I ⦠felt it ⦠and Jim next door came to the back to tell me. I didn't know how to tell Harry. He just
kept sitting there ⦠getting lower and lower ⦠knowing really but refusing to face it. I ⦔ She shrugged. “Anything besides coffee?”
Piaget shook his head. Dasein realized with a sense of shock the man was near tears.
The waitress left, returned with two mugs of coffee, went back to the kitchenâall without speaking. She, too, had sensed Piaget's emotions.
Dasein sighed, lifted his coffee, started to put the mug to his lips, hesitated. There was an odd bitter odor beneath the omnipresent Jaspers tang in the coffee. Dasein put his nose to the mug, sniffed. Bitter. A plume of steam rising from the dark liquid assumed for Dasein the shape of a hooded cobra lifting its fanged head to strike him.
Shakily, he returned the mug to the table, looked up to meet Piaget's questioning gaze.
“There's poison in that coffee,” Dasein rasped.
Piaget looked at his own coffee.
Dasein took the mug from him, sniffed at it. The bitter odor was missing. He touched his tongue to itâheat, the soothing flow of Jaspers ⦠coffee â¦
“Is something wrong?”
Dasein looked up to find the waitress standing over him. “There's poison in my coffee,” he said.
“Nonsense.” She took the mug from Dasein's hand, started to drink.
Piaget stopped her with a hand on her arm. “No, Vinaâthis one.” He handed her the other mug.
She stared at it, smelled it, put it down, dashed for the kitchen. Presently, she returned carrying a small yellow box. Her face was porcelain white, freckles standing out across her cheeks and nose like the marks of some disease.
“Roach powder,” she whispered. “I ⦠the box was spilled on the shelf over the counter. I ⦔ She shook her head.
Dasein looked at Piaget, but the doctor refused to meet his gaze.
“Another accident,” Dasein said, holding his voice even. “Eh, doctor?”
Piaget wet his lips with his tongue.
Dasein slid out of the booth, pushing the waitress aside. He
took the mug of poisoned coffee, poured it deliberately on the floor. “Accidents will happen, won't they ⦠Vina?”
“Please,” she said. “I ⦠didn't ⦔
“Of course you didn't,” Dasein said.
“You don't understand,” Piaget said.
“But I
do
understand,” Dasein said. “What'll it be next time? A gun accident? How about something heavy dropped from a roof? Accidentally, of course.” He turned, strode out of the cafe, stood on the sidewalk to study his surroundings.
It was such a
normal
town. The trees on the parking strip were so normal. The young couple walking down the sidewalk across from himâthey were so normal. The soundsâa truck out on the avenue to his right, the cars there, a pair of jays arguing in the treetops, two women talking on the steps of a house down the street to his leftâsuch an air of normalcy about it all.
The screen door slapped behind him. Piaget came up to stand at Dasein's side. “I know what you're thinking,” he said.
“Do you, really?”
“I know how all this must look to you.”
“Is that so?”
“Believe me,” Piaget said, “all this is just a terrible series of coincidences that ⦔
“Coincidence!” Dasein whirled on him, glaring. “How far can you stretch credulity, doctor? How long can you rationalize before you have to admit ⦔
“Gilbert, I'd cut off my right arm rather than let anything happen to you. I'd break Jenny's heart to ⦔
“You actually don't see it, do you?” Dasein asked, his voice filled with awe. “You don't see it. You refuse to see it.”
“Dr. Dasein?”
The voice came from his right. Dasein turned to find Harryâ“Scheler's other son”âstanding there, hat in hand. He looked younger than he had in the caféâno more than nineteen. There was a sad hesitancy in his manner.
“I wanted to ⦔ He broke off. “My father said to tell you ⦠We know it wasn't your fault that ⦔ He looked into Dasein's eyes, a look that pleaded for help.
Dasein felt a pang of rapport for the young man. There was a basic decency at work here. In the midst of their own grief,
the Schelers had taken time to try to ease Dasein's feelings.
They expected me to feel guilt about this,
Dasein thought. The fact that he'd experienced no such feeling filled Dasein now with an odd questing sensation of remorse.
If I hadn't
⦠He aborted the thought.
If I hadn't what? That accident was meant for me.
“It's all right, Harry,” Piaget said. “We understand.”
“Thanks, Doc.” He looked at Piaget with relief. “Dad said to tell you ⦠the car, Dr. Dasein's truck ⦠The new headlights are in it. That's all we can do. The steering ⦠You'll just have to drive slow unless you replace the whole front end.”
“Already?” Dasein asked.
“It doesn't take long to put in headlights, sir.”
Dasein looked from the youth to Piaget. The doctor returned his stare with an expression that said as clearly as words:
“They want your truck out of there. It's a reminder ⦔
Dasein nodded. Yes. The truck would remind them of the tragedy. This was logical. Without a word, he set off for the garage.
Piaget sped up, matched his pace to Dasein's.
“Gilbert,” he said, “I must insist you come over to the house. Jenny can ⦔
“Insist?”
“You're being very pig-headed, Gilbert.”
Dasein put down a surge of anger, said: “I don't want to hurt Jenny any more than you do. That's why I'm going to direct my own steps. I don't really want you to know what I'm going to do next. I don't want any of you waiting there in my path with one of your ⦠accidents.”
“Gilbert, you
must
put that idea out of your mind! None of us want to hurt you.”
They were on the parking area between the station and the garage now. Dasein stared at the gaping door to the garage, overcome suddenly by the sensation that the door was a mouth with deadly teeth ready to clamp down on him. The door yawned there to swallow him.
Dasein hesitated, slowed, stopped.
“What is it now?” Piaget asked.
“Your truck's just inside,” Harry Scheler said. “You can drive it and ⦔
“What about the bill?” Dasein asked, stalling for time.
“I'll take care of that,” Piaget said. “Go get your truck while I'm settling up. Then we'll go to ⦔
“I want the truck driven out here for me,” Dasein said. He moved to one side, out of the path of anything that might come spewing from that mouth-door.
“I can understand your reluctance to go back in there,” Piaget said, “but really ⦔
“You drive it out for me, Harry,” Dasein said.
The youth stared at Dasein with an oddly trapped look. “Well, I have some ⦔
“Drive the damn' car out for him!” Piaget ordered. “This is nonsense!”
“Sir?” Harry looked at Piaget.
“I said drive the damn' car out here for him!” Piaget repeated. “I've had as much of this as I can stomach!”
Hesitantly, the youth turned toward the garage door. His feet moved with a dragging slowness.
“See here, Gilbert,” Piaget said, “you can't really believe we ⦔
“I believe what I see,” Dasein said.
Piaget threw up his hands, turned away in exasperation.
Dasein listened to the sounds from the garage. They were subdued in there-voices, only a few mechanical noises, the whirring buzz of some machine.
A door slammed. It sounded like the door to the truck. Dasein recognized the grinding of his starter. The engine caught with its characteristic banging, as drowned immediately in a roaring explosion that sent a blast of flame shooting out the garage door.
Piaget leaped back with an oath.
Dasein ran diagonally past him to look into the garage. He glimpsed figures rushing out a door at the far end. His truck stood in the central traffic aisle at the core of a red-orange ball of flame. As he stared at the truck, a burning something emerged from the flames, staggered, fell.
Behind Dasein, someone screamed: “Harry!”
Without consciously willing it, Dasein found himself dashing
through the garage door to grab into the flames and drag the youth to safety. There were sensations of heat, pain. A roaring-crackling sound of fire filled the air around him. The smell of gasoline and char invaded Dasein's nostrils. He saw a river of fire reach toward him along the floor. A blazing beam crashed down where the youth had lain. There were shouts, a great scrambling confusion.
Something white was thrown over the figure he was dragging, engulfed the flames. Hands eased him aside. Dasein realized he was out of the garage, that Piaget was using his white smock to smother the fire on Harry.
Someone appeared to be doing something similar to both Dasein's arms and the front of his jacket, using a coat and a car robe. The coat and robe were pulled away. Dasein stared down at his own armsâblack and red flesh, blisters forming. The sleeves of his shirt and jacket ended at the elbows in jagged edgings of char.
The pain beganâa throbbing agony along the backs of both arms and hands. Through a world hazed by the pain, Dasein saw a station-wagon screech to a rocking stop beside him, saw men carry the smock-shrouded figure of Harry into the back of the wagon. More hands eased Dasein into the seat beside the driver.