“Uh…yeah,” I replied nervously.
And then again,
“Blake.”
The voice was breathy and low and a little gravelly. It was
Frank. I heard him and I just knew it. He had been dead several months, but I
guess he just wasn’t ready to go. I understand that now, but back then, at
eleven years old, the Ouiji board had come to life.
Me, Kathleen and Vivi jumped up, scared out of our wits, and
went screaming and running out of the basement at full speed. We ran out of the
house, jumped the hedges and kept going three houses down all the way to the
playground.
Later, Vivi and I would laugh about that day, but underneath,
we knew what we had heard. I laughed out loud as I sat there in the hall, and I
heard my own laughter echo through the empty house. I sat still, listening for
ghosts that night.
But the house was silent. Chillingly silent. I kept sifting
through the box. Beneath the pictures, I pulled out a pack of tattered envelopes
held together by a rubber band. I had read these so many times growing up.
Meridee used to show these to me proudly with such a sweetness in her eyes and
voice. They were her love letters from Frank. Some of them dated back to the
thirties, and they were always signed,
Your Lover,
Frank.
They were so romantic and sexy and gave me such an insight into
Meridee as a young woman. She was alive and passionate and so in love. I loved
reading these old letters, especially with Meridee. I loved hearing her voice,
now shaky with age, repeat the words of her former self and her “Lover” from
decades ago. For myself as a young child, it was like hearing about people I’d
never met, even though I understood that this was the story of my grandparents.
It was a soul-hugging treat. And it made me love her even more, just watching
her face flush with passion and her eyes spill over with tears as she read.
After skimming over a few, I put the letters back, shoving them
into their place underneath the pictures, when my hand brushed another rubber
band.
Another bundle of letters?
I pulled it out and
realized I had never seen them before. The handwriting was certainly different.
I searched the envelopes for a return address, but none of them had one. I
looked at the dates and postmarks. They were much more recent than the thirties.
They were all stacked in order…starting about six years ago. That was the year
that Lewis and Harry split the Heart family in half. Broken and bloodied
forever, it had never healed and probably never would. I kept studying the
bundle. All had the same handwriting. All had no return address. The author of
these letters had purposely left it off.
But why?
I
wondered. I felt that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I sat there unsure of my next move. Did I intrude into my
grandmother’s privacy? She had never shown me these letters before. Maybe that
had been on purpose—maybe she didn’t want me to know. My natural curiosity—or
nosiness—was wrenching at me, squeezing my breath away. Maybe there was a reason
she didn’t want me to know. Maybe this information would hurt me or change my
life. My heart raced, my mouth felt dry and sticky.
I sifted through the letters and looked at the postmarks again.
They were from out of town. Birmingham, Atlanta, even South America. My stomach
clenched tighter and a lump formed in my throat. I thumbed the envelopes like a
deck of cards. I felt flushed and hot. I fanned myself with the stack. Then, the
rubber band broke.
I sat still, staring at the scattered letters on the floor
around me. No one would know if I peeked. No one but me….
13
November 30, 2006
Dear Meridee,
Thank you for the other night—the warm bed, the hot black coffee
and the offer you made me. The Heart stories of you are true. You are the saint
and savior of us. That’s what Grandad always said.
I know you said you owed us after Granddad helped Frank years
ago, but you really went over the top with your generous offer to help me. That
amount should be enough for now. If I need the additional, I will let you
know.
Meridee, your faith in me is overwhelming. You are the only
one who has faith in me at this point. I won’t let you down.
In your debt,
Lewis
I felt as though I had the wind knocked out of me, as
though I had fallen ten stories into a pool of dark water. My mind worked in a
fury.
What the hell had I found? Meridee helped Lewis all
those years ago? Why would she? Why would he even go to her?
I
thought about it for a minute and I knew why. Meridee never turned anyone away.
She took in anyone who needed her. That’s why her house became the headquarters
to everyone and anyone. It was our Mission Control. Meridee could fix anything.
Her kitchen always held comfort food and hot coffee…with a shot of good booze if
needed. There were lots of empty beds, too, since everyone had grown up and
moved away. And Meridee had a way of consoling even the most damaged broken
soul. Just her presence meant all would be okay.
But why did he go to her after the big blowup with Harry? She
was my grandmother, after all, not Lewis’s or Harry’s. I knew I shouldn’t read
another word. I’d promised myself I’d only read one letter.
But this is evidence now,
I reasoned.
This
could lead us to Lewis.
I checked my watch. 8:10 p.m. Sonny had
mentioned it would be at least 10:00 p.m. before they knew anything. I shuffled
through to the next letter.
December 5, 2006
Hey Meridee,
I know you said on the phone last night that you had arranged to
have all the money wired through. I really appreciate that. But I met with my
attorney this morning in Birmingham. I need to get them a retainer. It looks
like my new address might be a 6x12—you know, prison—at least for a little
while. It’s okay—I won’t be in with the murderers and gangsters. I’ll probably
get sent to a white-collar place in Atlanta for the FCC violations and fraud
with the advertising. Some stuff I don’t totally get but the lawyers here are
the best. Anyway, I’ve gotta get them some money pretty soon.
Harry and Blake still haven’t spoken to me since all this came
down. Maybe you could talk to Blake? Maybe you could get her to talk to
Harry?
Meridee, I’ve asked you for so much. I know you’ve said this
is a long overdue gift, but I swear, one day, I’ll be here for you just when you
need me. Let me know about the bank transfers. I left you all my info the other
night.
You are an angel!
Lewis
December 26, 2006
Saint Meridee,
The transfers all made it and to all the different accounts. That
was a brilliant idea to split them up so nobody gets too crazy. It looks like I
may need that extra we talked about before it’s over. I have to help get Mother
resituated.
Harry is trying to do it on his own with his share of the
inheritance but Mother has become completely immobile. The crippling arthritis
has hit her legs and the whole house has to be redone for her. Harry can’t do it
without the share that I blew, and the Birmingham lawyers took a huge retainer.
So if there’s any way, that extra money would really sew it all up.
Either way, you are definitely a saint, just like Granddad
always said.
Hey, Merry Christmas! I still plan on making all this up to
you some day. Thanks for still believing me.
Love,
Lewis
January 22, 2007
Dear Meridee,
I’m glad we decided to communicate this way and not get anyone
else involved. As you said, it’s no damn body’s business anyway. You are the
most courageous woman I have ever met. All the final transfers arrived safe and
secure. Thanks so much for the additional. The expense of this whole case is
killer.
My arraignment for the FCC violations is next week. My lawyers
are telling me to plead guilty. It will be the quickest, least expensive way. I
will get some fines and maybe a little slammer time. They say it won’t hurt my
career. Hey, who knows? Didn’t that dude in Birmingham go to jail for a while?
He did okay after that, I think.
Maybe I’ll do the Grand Return…after a leave of absence.
Anyway, Meridee, you have been my lifeline. Hell, I’m not even drinking anymore.
You tend to bring out the best in people just by believing the best is there in
them, even when we can’t see it ourselves. Harry could benefit from having that
kind of attitude. He is just the opposite, especially when it comes to me. You
make me believe I’m not all that bad.
I have transferred some of the money to Mother. Now she’s
getting what she needs and I have repaid the money I lost of hers and paid the
lawyers. If I have to go to jail, I will. I’ll come out ready to make it all
right.
Meridee, I never told anybody else, but you know I’ve been
seeing Vivi on and off for years. I think…I think I love her. This is a strange
feeling for me, but in case anything happens, just let her know for me,
okay?
I’ll keep you posted.
Love,
Lewis
I felt breathless. Like the feeling you get at a white-knuckle,
edge-of-your-seat movie or on a massive roller-coaster ride at an amusement
park. I felt sad and full of love and filled with so much guilt for both Meridee
and Lewis. I felt guilty for the ways I had thought about Lewis. I had taken
Harry’s view of him as my own, always ready to shake my head in disappointment
or disgust when anyone mentioned his name. When I’d heard about him and Vivi
getting involved, I’d been full of snobbery and disapproval and always thought
Vivi could do better. Truth was, I’d never developed my own opinions—I just
followed in Harry’s footsteps.
I was ashamed. I spent my days clicking my Jimmy Choos as if I
was all that, but I hadn’t even bothered to think for myself.
How could I be a successful attorney,
I wondered now,
if I let Harry do all my thinking?
I stopped reading and sat still, wondering what in the world I
had become. I don’t think I was ever more ashamed of myself as I was in that
moment sitting there in the dark, damp hallway of Meridee’s house. How long had
it been, I wondered, since I had thought for myself? Since I had made my own
decisions? I had spent the past ten years trying to become what Harry needed.
What Harry wanted me to be. I wasn’t myself anymore.
I felt awful for poor Lewis. He’d never had a chance with me
because Harry had decided he was unredeemable. And, worst of all, what kind of
friend had I been to Vivi, loathing and detesting the man she loved without ever
looking at him through her eyes? But she’d never ever said anything to me, even
knowing I had behaved like a royal jerk. A pompous ass, as full of myself as
Dallas has accused me of being for so many years.
I started to cry in the silence of the hall. I knew I could be
better. I was sad for what I did to Lewis all those years ago. Not speaking to
him and not giving him a chance, while there was Meridee, my own dear
grandmother, helping him and believing in him. He was asking, nearly begging for
her to get through to me. He’d lost his family and had been trying to prove
himself to everyone, but no one gave him even the benefit of the doubt.
I was not only sad for Lewis, I was sad that I had blocked
myself from
myself,
from my own thoughts and
feelings and decisions. I had let my soul go on autopilot and had become lazy.
The Crimson Tide wasn’t the only thing that had lost its voice lately. It seemed
I had voluntarily lost my own voice over the years. No wonder everyone came to
Meridee in a crisis. She was the one who was
all
that.
She never seemed to judge anyone, and it wasn’t because she was
a softie, it was because she was Hercules in an apron.
I pulled myself together. Sitting there in my sweats in
Meridee’s hallway, I vowed to never let anyone do my thinking again. I would
never be afraid to go against anyone if I felt my judgment was right. I stopped
crying and knew I had to be stronger. Be better. For Lewis and for Vivi. And for
myself.
I was totally confused. A traffic jam of emotions swirled
inside me, and I still had a lot of questions. At the top of the list was
whether any of the information I’d learned from Lewis’s letters to Meridee had
anything to do with his disappearance. Those letters about the money were from
so long ago that I wasn’t sure how they could connect to what was happening now.
I checked my watch. 8:50 p.m. I had to finish the letters before ten. Harry
would be calling.
* * *
February 12, 2009
Hey Meridee,
I’m sure you’ve seen the papers. I’ve enclosed the one I have with
the headline, “The Voice of the Tide goes to Jail.” The news is everywhere.
Six months in the slammer and pretty much what was left of the
“gifts” from you are all gone. But after the last few years with all the
depositions and crap, this time away might seem like a vacation! It has taken my
lawyers the past three years to catch a break, but I’ll only be in six months,
which is a big improvement. I think I can make it—I owe that much at least.
I am glad we are able to stay in touch by phone for a while.
It’s always good to hear you. For now, we will have to go back to the letters.
I’m sure Blake and Harry know I’m in jail, but I never hear from them. I guess
we’ve done all we can do on that front.
The project we spoke of should be in the works now. Nothing
like being down and at rock bottom to fire you up to say,
Never again!
I will make you proud of me, Meridee! Do not worry. I
will be fine. Out by the end of summer, just in time for kickoff.
Love,
Lewis
April 10, 2009
Hi Meridee,
Thanks for all the kind words and prayers. If only Granddad or Dad
was alive today, I know they wouldn’t be surprised by your generosity. You are
helping me help Mother. They all still don’t know where I got the money to help
pay for her care, but at least the work goes on at Belle Garden to accommodate
her. She’s in a wheelchair now, I hear.
Harry still hasn’t spoken to me. Can you believe that? Not
even a “Go to hell” since that Thanksgiving! What a guy! He always looked down
on me. I’m not a lawyer, but it was never in me. Seemed the Hearts had that one
covered. Maybe you get me ’cause Frank was a play-by-play announcer for the
Tide, too. I know it was only part-time for him, but I have a feeling it might
have been his passion. Anyway, he was a special guy. Thanks for telling me about
the details of Granddad helping him years ago. I never knew, but now I
understand. Granddad saved Frank’s reputation as well as their practice. But you
sure don’t owe
me
for that. You do not need to go to
any more stocks. You have been my angel. Three more months to go. Thanks for
believing in this with me. It will all come back to you. Promise.
Yours,
Lewis
What the hell?
It seemed that not
only did she bail him out but she also invested in something else with him. What
had Meridee done with our family fortune? I knew that all the answers might not
be here in these letters, but I would have to look into this. I would have to
tell Meridee that I read these letters and hopefully she would fill in the
blanks for me. I knew she could refuse to divulge the secrets she held for
Lewis. She would also know that I’d broken into her private things. But it was
too late now to have regrets about reading those letters. I couldn’t stop
thinking about what I had just learned. With that, I opened the last letter in
the stack.
September 28, 2009
Cartagena, South America
Meridee!
I am a free man! I know you heard. It’s all over the media. I did
my big comeback interview on the steps of Denny Chimes. All the publicity has
been great for the radio station. “He’s back!” the papers have been shouting.
All the media has been so positive for me. Did you pull something with your
friends at the papers? What a turnaround. I am motivated beyond my own
craziness.
Now I’m taking a little trip out of the country to lay the
foundation on that deal we talked about. It’s a sure thing. The money is coming
from down here. These investors are great just like you said. These people are
in it for us and I am so glad they share our vision! I know you believe in it,
too. I’ll tell you all about it when I see you. I will be able to pay back
everything soon. I am doing everything right this time.
I’ll see you next week after my trip.
Lewis
P.S.
If you see my wild little redhead, tell her I miss her,
okay?
The back door slammed. I checked my watch. 9:45 p.m. I wondered
if Harry had gotten the DNA results and had decided to come tell me in
person.
“Blake!”
That was Sonny’s voice. But he was supposed to be with Harry. I
quickly gathered all the letters and shoved them into the pile of towels. I
wiped my face with the soft sleeves of my sweatshirt, pushed my bangs from my
forehead and stood up. My damn foot was asleep from sitting on the floor for so
long. I shook and shook it but the pins and needles would not stop. I limped up
the hall to the back door.
“Sonny?” I entered the dimly lit kitchen.
“Hey,” Sonny said. “I thought I’d find you here.” With the
emotional roller coaster I had been on all night, the sight of him was like a
deep breath, freshly exhaled.
“Are you looking for me?” I asked, rather puzzled and still
shaking my foot. “Where’s Harry?”