The Scarlet Kimono (Choc Lit) (32 page)

It was impossible to decide which of the fish was the most beautiful, since there were so many colour combinations. Black, orange, white, gold and silver – the choice was endless. Hannah spotted a huge orange beast with black markings and thought with a smile that he must be the grandfather. Then her gaze was caught by a magnificent fish whose scales were a gorgeous golden shade with a white head and a white stripe down the length of its back, and suddenly she had made her choice.

‘You’re the handsomest, no doubt about it,’ she told him, as he opened his mouth forlornly in the vain hope of food and fanned the water slowly with his front fins. ‘But I don’t suppose you care, as long as no one eats you.’

That settled, Hannah closed her eyes once again. She had a much more difficult decision to make and, although it wasn’t easy, it had to be done.

Taro found her there, the red hair ablaze with sunlight, mirroring the colour of some his fish. He stood for a long time staring at the pretty picture, storing it in his memory for the future. He knew now that he couldn’t keep her for ever, much as he would have liked to.

‘
Akai
,’ he said softly so as not to startle her. He knew she was still fragile after her ordeal. She opened her eyes and smiled at him in welcome, and he sat down beside her on the warm stones. ‘Are you well this morning?’

‘Yes, thank you, my body is healing fast. And you?’ She studied his face and a small frown creased her brow. ‘You look troubled. Is something the matter?’

He sighed. ‘Yes, I’m afraid I have some news for you.’

‘About the abductors, you mean? Or Lady Reiko?’

‘What? No, no.’ He had almost forgotten about them. ‘It’s something entirely different.’ He took one of her hands and held it between his own. ‘Hannah, you know we agreed that you would go back to your own people in the spring?’

Her frown deepened. ‘Yes. Why? You want to be rid of me now? I thought you said …’ She turned away and tried to pull her hand out of his grasp, but he wouldn’t let her. ‘Well, no matter. To tell you the truth, I’ve been thinking it would be best if I leave sooner rather than later. I was just about to discuss it with you.’ She wouldn’t look at him so he couldn’t read her expression.

‘What would you say if I told you your husband has come to take you back?’

‘Rydon is here? How can that be? How did he find me?’ Her eyes flew to his, startled.

He shrugged. ‘I don’t know, but someone informed him of your whereabouts. Reiko perhaps? It would be entirely in character.’

‘And he’s asked for my return?’

‘Yes. He is adamant. I asked if he would consider divorcing you in lieu of compensation, but he refused.’ He couldn’t help adding in a slightly accusing tone of voice, ‘The interpreter tells me divorce is not possible in your country. I thought you told me you were free of the man? He has shown me a document which proves he is your husband still.’

‘I … he has? But …’ Hannah looked first bewildered, then angry. Taro had hoped she might tell him there was some mistake and the other foreigners were wrong, but she didn’t. ‘You offered him payment for me?’ she asked instead, frowning.

‘Yes, but he didn’t want it.’

‘I’ll have you know I’m not a possession to be bought and sold.’ Her sapphire eyes flashed with annoyance.

‘I never assumed you were, but I did think it might sway Rydon-
san
.’ Taro stifled a sigh. ‘In any case, he has brought your brother who is, I think, more concerned about your welfare.’ He tried to keep his emotions under control, not show her what it cost him to speak about this so matter-of-factly.

‘Jacob is here too? Oh, dear. Well, that explains it then.’ Hannah hung her head, then looked up. ‘I’m sorry to have caused problems for you. Please forgive me.’

‘Yanagihara-
san
assures me it was meant to be, so who am I to argue with the gods? Besides, I brought this on myself by abducting you.’ He stood up, unable to bear sitting so close to her any longer and not pull her into his arms. He wanted to hold on to her, but it wouldn’t be right. ‘I’m grateful for our time together, I have learned a lot,’ he said formally. ‘Thank you. Now I will inform your husband and brother that you’ll be ready to leave tomorrow at dawn.’

‘So soon?’ Hannah turned those wonderful blue eyes up to his and he could see tears hovering on her lashes. She stretched out a hand towards him. ‘Taro, I …’

‘Yes?’

‘Will you come to the bath house tonight? For the last time?’

He hesitated for a moment, then nodded. One more night she would be his, where was the harm in that after all the time they’d already spent together? Her husband would have her for the rest of his life.

Hannah watched Taro walk away and choked back the tears. She could have told him she didn’t want to leave, but what was the use? She didn’t have the letter Rydon had signed as proof of the impending annulment and she was sure that soon Taro would want her gone anyway. She’d heard that men always tired of concubines and consorts and since there was nothing to bind them together, she would end up being discarded. Then what would become of her? No, it was better if she left now while she still had a chance to go back to England. And she had promised God she would atone for her sins, if only he saved her from dying.

She had to keep her part of the bargain.

Whether she was to remain married or not, she had sinned. Leaving Taro was her punishment.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

When Hannah came out into the courtyard the following morning, she was greeted by her husband, her brother and Hoji. She was happy to see two out of the three, and rushed over to clasp the hands of Jacob and Hoji, ignoring Rydon.

‘Jacob! Hoji-
san
! I thought I would never see you again. How are you both?’

‘We’re all well, but how about you?’ Jacob studied her intently as if he was searching for signs of mistreatment. ‘Have you been harmed? We were told you’d had an accident of some sort? What did they do to you?’

‘Nothing really. It’s a long story, I’ll tell you later. I’m fine now, honestly. Hoji-
san
?’ She turned to her old friend and addressed him in Japanese, eager to change the subject. ‘What about you?’

‘Never better, Hannah-
chan
, and so relieved to see you. I had started to fear the worst.’ He hung his head. ‘Can you ever forgive me?’

‘Forgive you? For what?’

‘For not providing you with adequate guards. Those imbeciles I hired obviously weren’t protection enough for anyone. I should have made sure before I left for Edo.’

‘No, no, it’s not your fault. The
ninja
would have made short work of anyone, there was no withstanding their assault, I’m sure. There’s nothing to forgive.’

‘You’re too kind.’

Rydon interrupted their conversation rudely. ‘If you have quite finished with your jibberish, perhaps you could greet all your rescuers properly?’ he sneered.

‘Certainly.’ She curtseyed to him and eyed him coldly. ‘Good morning to you.’

‘Is that all you have to say? Not “thank you for saving me from these barbarians”? Or “it’s so good to see you at last”?’

‘They are not barbarians and there was no need to rescue me. I would have been returned before spring anyway.’

‘Gracious as always.’

‘Well, I don’t know why you cared,’ Hannah shot back. ‘I would have thought you’d be glad to be rid of me.’

‘That’s as may be,’ Rydon said, ‘but I haven’t come all this way and risked my life to leave empty-handed. We’ve travelled for days on end, never knowing from one day to the next whether we’d have our throats slit by these heathens, only to be greeted by some haughty lord who thinks he can buy whatever he wants. He offered us money for you, you know. For an Englishwoman! Damned impudence …’

‘Perhaps you should have accepted.’ Hannah gritted her teeth. She knew it was preposterous to be bought and sold like a slave, but the way she felt at the moment she wouldn’t have cared if it meant she could stay.

‘Not bloody likely. You don’t belong here. You’re coming with us.’ Rydon turned away in disgust, but Jacob stretched out his hand.

‘Come, let us not quarrel. Hannah, I’m so pleased to see you and relieved to find you unhurt. We parted on somewhat, shall we say, strained terms. Can we put our arguments in the past where they belong? I’ve been very worried about you.’

She remembered how she had squandered her chance to heal the rift between them once before and didn’t hesitate to take his hand. ‘Gladly, but please understand that I’ll never become reconciled to my so called marriage. It’s to be annulled the moment we reach England, Rydon agreed to it in writing.’

Jacob threw a glance at Rydon, who had now moved away and was out of earshot. He nodded. ‘Very well. We can discuss the matter later. I’m sure you have much to tell me.’

Hannah had to be satisfied with this answer for now. He was right, this was neither the time nor the place to talk about it. ‘Indeed.’

Taro came forward at this point and bowed politely. He turned to Hannah and said, ‘
Sayonara
. I wish you a safe journey. I am sending an escort of a hundred men to guard you until you reach the coast.’

His expression was neutral and Hannah saw nothing of the passionate man she had spent the night with. The man she had clung to one last time before leaving the bath house only a short time before. She came to the conclusion that he must be glad to be rid of her. He’d only been too polite to say so.

She schooled her own features and smiled before bowing back. ‘
Sayonara
, my lord. Thank you for everything. This has been a … most enjoyable stay.’

He nodded and withdrew a small packet from his capacious sleeve. ‘Please accept this small gift.’

‘Oh, but that’s not necessary.’

‘It is the custom.’

She took it from him and her fingers brushed his for the last time, causing her to draw in her breath sharply. The pain in her heart was so intense it was as if someone was stabbing it with a red-hot poker.
Oh, God, help me to stand this, help me to get through this …
She gritted her teeth.

‘Thank you.’ She bowed again. ‘I shall treasure it always, whatever it is.’

‘Come, Hannah, it’s time to leave.’ Jacob put a hand at the small of her back and guided her towards the palanquin where Sakura waited patiently, her face a picture of misery. The little maid had enjoyed the luxurious life in the castle and was upset at having to leave. Hannah was too miserable herself to console the girl. She climbed in and sank onto the soft cushions, clutching the small parcel as if it were a lifeline. She mustn’t cry now, she would lose face. Taro would think less of her. She wouldn’t cry …

Their departure was a blur and Hannah sank back into the shadows as they left the courtyard. When the cavalcade reached the top of the hill and crested it so that the castle was no longer visible, Hannah gave way at last and let the tears fall. She didn’t care what anyone thought. Her heart was broken and she knew it would never heal again.

The foreigners had travelled up to Shiroi Castle along the
Oshu Kaido
highway from Edo, but since they were returning straight to Hirado, Taro’s men took them back along a different route. Hoji told Hannah the
daimyo
was allowing them the use of a ship. Since she recognised some of the landmarks, Hannah realised they were going back the way she had come all those months ago, which made her want to cry again.

The journey seemed endless, and the only saving grace was Hoji. Hannah was very pleased to be with him again and they spent many hours together talking. Whenever they stopped to eat, the two of them made sure they sat apart from the others so no one was within earshot. During those breaks in the travelling she told him the truth. ‘For I have to tell someone, or I will expire,’ she explained. ‘I hope you don’t mind?’

‘Of course not. I had guessed anyway,’ Hoji replied. ‘Lord Kumashiro said there was some man who wanted you as his consort, but I had a feeling he was speaking on his own behalf. He was the only man there of high enough rank to have more than just a wife.’ He hesitated before asking, ‘Would you have agreed?’

‘To be his consort? Yes. I already am. I mean was.’

‘I see. And is there going to be a child?’

‘A child?’ Hannah stared at Hoji and blinked as it dawned on her that she hadn’t even considered this possibility. ‘I … I don’t know. Really, I haven’t thought …’ She counted in her mind, trying to think back to her last monthly flow and frowned. She had never been very regular in that respect, but she realised now it had been many months ago, far too many in fact. And although she hadn’t felt ill, she had noticed that her breasts had been very tender of late. ‘Oh, dear, how could I have been so stupid?’

The full implication of this struck her suddenly. ‘Hoji, how can I ever obtain an annulment of my marriage now? Rydon was to swear I was untouched, but that will be a blatant lie if there is a child. He’ll never do it now. He can’t possibly. Oh, dear Lord …’

Hoji shook his head, but didn’t comment. There was, after all, nothing he could say.

‘But I can’t go back either,’ Hannah continued. ‘What would Taro say? Surely he wouldn’t want a child that’s such a strange mixture.’

A child. Taro’s child. Hannah couldn’t help it, a warm feeling spread inside her. She would have something to remember him by after all. But she’d be a fallen woman with a foreign-looking bastard to raise on her own. How would she cope? How would the child fare? ‘Oh, dear,’ she said again. ‘Rydon most certainly won’t want the child either. Hoji, what shall I do?’

‘Wait and see. Sometimes these things sort themselves out.’ Hoji sounded like his usual unflappable self, but Hannah could see signs of anxiety in his eyes. Tactfully, he changed the subject. ‘What did Lord Kumashiro give you as a leaving gift?’

‘What? Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t opened it yet. I couldn’t face it, but perhaps it’s time.’

As soon as Hannah returned to the palanquin she retrieved the small packet from inside her sleeve where she had kept it hidden. She was alone, thankfully, as Sakura hadn’t returned from her meal yet. With fingers that suddenly shook, Hannah opened the parcel.

It was a small lacquer box, exquisitely inlaid with gold leaf, enamel and mother-of-pearl. On the lid was a picture of an orange-red flower, the same kind as in Taro’s clan motif. Holding it in his large paws was a white bear. Hannah gasped.

‘Heavens!’

What did this mean? That Kumashiro, the white bear, had wanted to hold onto her, his red flower? Or was that just wishful thinking? No, she could see no other way of looking at it. He must have commissioned it specially and hoped she would understand.

She lifted the lid. Inside was a small note and on a separate piece of paper a
haiku
poem with his seal at the bottom. He’d tried to write the Japanese words phonetically in her alphabet, as well as in
kana
, which was thoughtful of him. Although this looked strange, at least she understood them when she read them out slowly to herself.

The note said ‘
Hannah-chan, I had this box made for you and was going to give it to you when you recovered from the abduction. I thought perhaps it would now make a fitting leaving gift instead.
’

It was signed simply
Taro
.

The poem was even shorter. It read,

Leave not my garden

Keep your fiery red petals

Open just for me

‘Oh, Taro, does this mean what I think it means?’ she whispered.

She clutched the little box and tried to think. Images swirled round and round inside her brain, of her wedding night with Rydon, of her first night in the bath house with Taro, and the many wonderful moments since. She thought of the way Rydon had greeted her in the courtyard, obviously no more pleased to see her than she was to be reunited with him. He couldn’t wait for the marriage to be annulled, but it never would be now. The sentence ‘Till death do us part’ suddenly echoed round her brain and a firebrand of agony shot through her.

How would she bear it?

She stuffed the little box into her sleeve and went back outside in search of Hoji, her steps as heavy as her heart. Fortunately, he wasn’t far away and without speaking, they walked a little way away from the others so they could talk freely.

‘What’s the matter? You have opened the gift?’ He scanned her face with anxious eyes.

‘Yes, and it’s a sign. He wants me to stay. I’m sure of it. But I can’t, Jacob will never let me go back.’ She knew her brother considered himself responsible for her and there was no way he would leave her behind in Japan.

‘Well, it was quite clear that he wanted to keep you.’

‘No, not just keep me as if I was a curiosity, he wants me, for myself. I think he loves me, although he doesn’t realise it.’ She had said the last sentence in English, since she knew of no word for ‘love’ in Japanese.

‘Love? There is no such thing. Desire for a person, a wish to be with them, feeling comfortable with each other, yes, but …’

‘No, it’s not like that. Love is when you just can’t live without another person, when you don’t want to. That’s how I feel about him, and I think he feels the same.’

‘All this you gathered from a gift? What was it?’