The Scent (The Bryn and Sinjin Series Book 2) (9 page)

“Breeders are only women?” I managed to ask, my tone of voice simmering.

“Yes.”

“And they don’t assign certain men to the women?”

“No,” Gus answered as he shook his head. “Not only did Luce and Nairn notice that the tribe wasn’t being populated quickly enough, or broadly enough, they also noticed that many of the male Elementals and Daywalkers were becoming increasingly … anxious.” He offered me a knowing smile like he was among this noble group. “Thus, the breeders solved both dilemmas.”

“So Luce has basically created a whorehouse within the tribe?” I asked, unable to retain my anger any longer.

But Gus didn’t seem to notice. Instead, he considered my question seriously and took a few moments to answer it. “Maybe somewhat similar, although no one benefits financially.”

“No one benefits, period,” I snapped as all of his information began to sink into my head. The more it sunk in, the more angry I became. Suddenly, I felt like I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs, like I was ready to pass out.

“As you can imagine, being relegated to the class of the breeder is the ultimate slap in the face,” Gus continued. “It means your only service to the tribe is based on your body’s natural ability to create offspring,” he finished, and then started to laugh as if all of it was hysterically funny. “And now you can pride yourself to be among that prestigious lot.”

“Over my dead body,” I spat back at him, shaking my head all the while. The mortification and dumbfounded anger I felt echoed in my voice. There was no way in hell that I would willingly allow myself to be used for some man’s … pleasure.

“Everything isn’t quite so funny now, is it?” Gus teased, glaring at me, all the while appearing pleased with himself.

“This can’t be happening,” I mumbled, shaking my head because it didn’t make any sense to me. I needed to hear it again if only to make sure I heard Gus right the first time around. Because I wasn’t fully convinced that I hadn’t just made the last few minutes of my life completely up. Maybe I was just in the middle of a very vivid but terrible dream.

“Oh, it’s definitely happening,” Gus replied, that horrid smile of his in attendance.

“I’ve been assigned to the breeding class?” I asked again, shaking my head because I failed to understand how this could be. Yes, I’d screwed up in Luce’s eyes by protecting my sister, but that didn’t automatically obliterate my skills and gifts as a warrior. Luce was more than aware that I was among the best in my tribe. Certainly, I was the most capable woman. No one would doubt that …

“I’m not sure how else I can put it,” Gus persisted, adopting the same pedantic stance I’d assumed earlier. “You will be one of the bearers of our future tribespeople,” he continued. “It will be your responsibility to produce healthy offspring and contribute to the perpetuation of the tribe.”

I was suddenly overcome with humiliation, indignity and anger. My cheeks grew hot with rage as my hands fisted at my sides and my breathing escalated. This was the biggest blow Luce could have struck. Going from a revered warrior to a whore was … a heinous offense to say the least. “Is this some kind of joke?” I demanded, eyeing Gus pointedly.

“No, it’s not a joke,” he answered, taking a few steps toward me. I immediately backed up, pushing my chair behind me so hard that it fell over. But I wasn’t concerned. Instead, I assumed my fighting stance, placing both of my feet shoulder-width apart as I stared Gus down and tried to anticipate his actions.

“Why are you the one telling me this?” I demanded angrily.

Gus smiled again. “Luce informed me of your plight and then he said I was to be your first visitor.” He smiled widely, revealing all of his crooked teeth. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. “It is my responsibility to be the first male to impregnate you.”

Imagining my first sexual experience could be with Gus immersed me with a fury the likes of which I’d never before felt. I immediately shook my head.

There is no way in hell I will ever allow Gus to know me intimately
, I promised myself.
I would sooner die.

“If you think I’ll let you touch me,” I started, my chest rising as anger boiled over inside of me.

“I
am
going to touch you,” he interrupted with another ugly grin. “Because I’ve been ordered to.” Then he looked me up and down, his gaze landing on my bust. “But I bet I’ll enjoy every second of it.” He took another few steps toward me, still wearing that obscene smile. “And I’ll let you know now that a long line of men are vying to be with you,” he continued as my stomach dropped to my feet. “As soon as Luce announced you were the newest breeding recruit, you’ve been at the center of every man’s thoughts,” he persisted as his eyes traveled the length of me again. “Luckily for me, I get to break you in.”

“I’m going to warn you once,” I seethed, refusing to even consider the idea of Gus having sex with me. I would fight to the death. “Don’t come near me.”

He chuckled while shaking his head, like I just didn’t get it. But he didn’t say anything. Of course, he didn’t really need to. His body language was warning enough. It was now very obvious that Gus didn’t intend to give up. That meant I was about to have a fight on my hands even though I’d hoped otherwise. Gus wouldn’t be easily defeated—he was much larger than I was, and he was an extremely capable Elemental.

Of course, my other choice was simply giving in and letting him have his way with me … And there was no way that was going to happen. No, I’d already promised myself that I wouldn’t go down without a fight. No pun intended.

I raised my hands up and angled my body away from him, my feet still shoulder-width apart. I bent my knees slightly to ensure better balance. The last thing I wanted was to get knocked down. If Gus was able to get me on my back, it would be that much more difficult to fight him off. I held my hands up in front of my face to protect it, just like any good boxer would do.

“You’re going to fight me?” Gus asked with a laugh. He shook his head to let me know I was wasting my time.

“That’s a stupid question,” I replied before shutting my mouth tightly. A well-placed jab to an open mouth could easily break my jaw.

He continued to shake his head. “What a shame, Bryn,” he started. “I thought we could take things slow. I was going to be gentle with you.” Then his eyebrows reached for the ceiling. “That is, of course, if you’re still a virgin?” Narrowing his eyes as he studied me, his face contorted into an angry, hostile expression as humiliation burned inside of me that he was even discussing my sexual status. “But I’m betting you’re not. I’m betting you’ve had all sorts of filth inside you.”

I chose to ignore him and, instead, paid attention to his body language. Without budging from my fighting stance, I held my ground. I planned to wait for Gus to either strike me, or otherwise touch me. Then it would be on. In the meantime, I had to wait it out. I knew Gus was right-handed, which meant he would probably attempt to strike me in the head with his right hand. Ninety-five percent of the time, people aimed directly for the face.

But Gus didn’t go for my face. Instead, he came at me like a football player, ready to knock me over. As soon as I realized what he was doing, I simply sidestepped, and jumped over the already overturned chair in the process. Then, before he could figure out what to do next, I turned on him and took advantage of his momentary surprise.

Turning my body to the side, I lashed out with my foot, kicking him right in the side of his left femur. He immediately shrieked since my kick was well placed. But rather than tending to his aching leg, he knew better and, instead, speared me with an angry expression.

“You’re going to,” he started, but I didn’t give him a chance to finish his threat. Instead, I was preparing blow number two, which I planned to direct at his face. In general, one had to be careful when hitting someone in the face. There was always a chance I could easily break the small bones in my hands or wrist, or even collapse my knuckles. So, I aimed for his nose and lips to minimize any risk to my hand. Planting my fist in his nose, I felt the bones and cartilage instantly breaking beneath my knuckles. Seconds later, my hand was covered with hot, viscous blood.

A perfectly delivered punch!
I congratulated myself.

“You bitch!” Gus screamed as he wailed helplessly and brought his hands to his face, cupping his nose. “You broke my fucking nose!”

“I warned you!” I yelled at him with no amount of apology. I braced myself in case he decided to come at me again, because this time, his attack would surely be fueled by anger and humiliation which meant it would be that much stronger.

But he didn’t come at me. Instead, he stood up straight while still cupping his nose, which continued to leak blood like a sieve. He started for the door and unlocked it with his free hand. Then he turned to face me, his nose and eyes already looking like they were swelling. I started to smile. I just couldn’t help it.

“You’re going to regret that,” he said.

“Hmm, somehow I doubt that very much,” I responded and watched him disappear through the door as he slammed it shut behind him.

When he was gone, I exhaled and shook my hand out, feeling the pain in my knuckles. I inspected them, but didn’t see any permanent damage. They were just sore from the power I’d packed behind my punch.

I stretched my neck to the left and then to the right and thought about everything that had just happened. Although I was obviously victorious in this fight, I didn’t feel especially triumphant. Nope. That was because there was an assuredness within me that it was simply a matter of time before Luce would get his way, and my public humiliation would be complete.

SIX

My temporary reprieve from Gus didn’t last very long. He returned the next evening (sporting two black eyes and a bandaged nose) with another seasoned Elemental soldier, Will Hunter. While I hadn’t had much interaction with Gus in my past, Will and I had been sparring partners on more than one occasion. At one point, I’d even considered him a friend …

How wrong I’d been.

Although I put up a good fight, in the end, I just couldn’t protect myself from both of them. It came down to the simple fact that I was physically unable to take on two men who were much larger and stronger than I was. And it wasn’t as though I could have relied on my magical abilities (which were far greater than Gus’s or Will’s combined) either. By installing a series of magical wards throughout my prison, Luce had done a damn good job of ensuring that my magic was totally impotent.

So without my magical powers, and being physically unable to match Gus’s and Will’s brawn, I couldn’t fight the inevitable. Even though it was an outcome I’d mentally prepared myself for, I couldn’t say that fact made it any easier to endure.

But though they forced themselves on me, I refused to allow them to think they’d won. I didn’t scream, or cry, or let them know they were hurting me. Instead, I walled off my emotions. I pulled a poker face and pretended like my pride and inner strength weren’t suffering with every crude remark or painful thrust. I didn’t know how it was possible, but after a while, I managed to disassociate myself from everything that was happening. I traveled to a place in my head that I hadn’t known existed, but it provided a safe haven all the same.

I wasn’t sure how long the deed lasted. It could have been mere minutes, or an hour. After they finished, I was vaguely aware of them dressing before lauding one another on a “job well done.” Had I been in the right frame of mind, I might have found it interesting, or offensive, or even a relief that neither one of them would look at me. Maybe it was just as well because I couldn’t look at them.

After being abandoned to my solitude, I retreated from the bedroom and pulled the door closed behind me as hard as I could. I felt the doorknob vibrate in my palm as the door met the jamb.

I will never sleep or even go into this room again
, I promised myself, closing my eyes against the memory of the injustice that had occurred on the opposite side of the door. Feeling the immediate need to cleanse myself, I started for the bathroom. I needed to take a shower to scrub away the residue of everything I’d just endured. I had to sanitize every last unwanted touch, each cruel smirk and licentious comment from my body.

I wasn’t sure how long I stayed in the shower, but by the time I began to feel slightly clean, the windows were so fogged up, I couldn’t see through them and I also couldn’t detect my reflection in the mirror. The steam hung in the air like white smoke, vacillating from side to side like ghosts.

Stepping out of the shower, I glanced down at myself and noticed my skin was a bright cherry red. The redness was courtesy of both the unbearably hot water and the scouring I’d done on myself with a washrag. Every inch of me stung, but I forced myself to ignore the pain. Instead, I changed into the extra set of clothing Betta had procured for me a day or so earlier.

I’d been surprised when Betta had offered me the change of clothing because she wasn’t supposed to bring me anything except my meals. Regardless, I’d had little interest in wearing the baggy, hospital-issued-looking blue pants or the white T-shirt, so they’d just sat in the cabinet. Instead, I’d continued wearing the outfit I was dressed in when Luce abducted me—my maid of honor gown. As to the issue of keeping it clean, I simply washed it in the shower every evening which had done a great job of destroying the fabric, but I couldn’t say I cared. I just preferred to wear something that reminded me of being back at Kinloch Kirk where I felt safe, and most of all … loved.

But I couldn’t put that dress back on now. Not when I could still remember Gus tearing it off me while Will unzipped his pants. Truth be told, it pained me even to look at it now, lying in a crumpled heap in the corner of the bathroom, as if it, too, had been treated as irreverently as I had. Reaching for the extra change of clothing where it sat in the cabinet, I dressed in the ugly pants and baggy shirt. Then I found myself walking back into the living room like a zombie.

I stood there for a few seconds and stared at the nondescript furniture, the washed-out colors of which seemed to fade into the boring carpeting and dreary beige walls. I continued forward, my feet shuffling over the cheap carpet, providing the only sound in the otherwise pristine silence. But, if anything, I was grateful for the silence. I was glad I didn’t have to hear the sounds of the bed creaking below me or the cacophony of heavy male breathing and grunting.

I backed myself into the far corner of the living room, which was also the darkest area of the room. Leaning against the wall before sliding down to the ground, I rolled myself into a protective ball by pulling my legs into my chest. And then I just sat there. Doing nothing, looking at nothing and thinking about … nothing.

I didn’t know how long I rocked back and forth, feeling like I was lost in a heavy fog, a murky haze that numbed the pain in my body as well as my heart. I felt nothing at all. And I wondered why I didn’t feel anything—not anger, sorrow, indignation—nothing. There was just a void inside my head that was now absorbing my entire body—like a vacuum, into a weighty emptiness.

Although I’d initially considered the numbness a positive because it allowed me to separate myself from the situation at the time it was happening, I wasn’t sure if it was such a positive now. Why? Because it never went away …

Over the course of the next two weeks, I went through the motions of living, but I wasn’t really living. Yes, I was aware that Betta came and visited me, bringing my breakfast, lunch and dinner, most of which I didn’t bother eating. But I couldn’t focus on her or her conversations. The void inside my head was like watching my life through a dirty window—I couldn’t quite delineate anything around me, but I knew it was there, just the same.

As the visits from the various men of the tribe continued during all hours of the day and night, I became increasingly grateful for the void. It allowed me to escape the grim reality of what was happening to me. Without the void, I wasn’t sure how I would have survived without going completely crazy. But then I had to wonder if maybe it would have been better to sacrifice my sanity, to live within the depths of my imagination and never come out.

“I’ve come to check on you,” Luce announced cheerily. It was during one of his regularly scheduled visits, which occurred every day. It was always the same: he would enter my prison, and even though I wouldn’t say one word to him, he’d prattle on about this and that as if we were old friends discussing the weather. Then he’d ask me how I was feeling despite knowing that I had nothing to say to him and, therefore, wouldn’t bother answering. Before leaving, he’d approach me and hold his hand on top of my stomach, using his magic to ascertain whether or not I was pregnant.

And at the very idea that I could be pregnant, the nothingness inside of me would reassert itself full-bore. It would flood my body with a tranquility and calm that prevented me from pondering the subject for long. Armed with the relative safety of the abysmal void, I could put up with Luce and all of his ministrations. I could just sit or stand there, staring straight ahead, unable to see or feel anything.

“Hmm,” he muttered, just like the last handful of times he’d done this. He moved his hand around my stomach, as if he might get a better reading from a different angle. Then he sighed with visible disappointment, before saying, “Negative.”

That was the only word that sprang me from the nothingness for a brief second—the only word that allowed my soul to rise up in absolute triumph. That word allowed me to laugh in the faces of all the Guses and Wills, and myriad other men who ruthlessly used me for their own pleasure. “Negative” was the only word that made me laugh in Luce’s face, despite all the physical and emotional pain he put me through.

I could take comfort in the fact that despite everything, Luce hadn’t triumphed. My body was not and would not surrender to him.

“I do not understand it,” Luce said, shaking his head as he studied me from narrowed, angry eyes. “I imbued each of them with increased potency,” he explained, talking out loud even though it was clear he was addressing himself. I could only imagine he meant he must’ve magicked all the men who visited/assaulted me with some form of fertility charm to ensure their success in impregnating me. As to why Luce was so hell-bent on this mission, I didn’t know and, furthermore, didn’t want to know.

All that mattered to me was that no one had achieved the goal. Truly, no one had bested me.

And just like that, the numbness that had formerly reigned over me for the last two weeks suddenly shattered like a hallway full of mirrors during an earthquake. I was suddenly wide awake, aware. I felt like I’d just awoken from an incredibly long, oblivious slumber, only to be thrust into the stark light of reality.

How completely absurd, ludicrous, and comical that after everything Luce had put me through, all the emotional and physical rape, he hadn’t won. Throwing my head back, I started to laugh. My voice grew increasingly louder as my laughter continued to bubble from my lips, now uncontrollably.

At the sound of my irrepressible laughter, Luce immediately backed away from me and scowled until his angry, little face resembled a white prune. He glared at me for a few more seconds as I continued to belittle his powers with my raucous laughter. Then, apparently unable to take any more, he started for the door. Before he walked out, he turned back to face me. His eyes fuming, he said, “We will just have to ramp up our efforts; that is all,” before slamming the door behind him.

As soon as he left, the laughter died on my lips. Again, I had nothing to embrace but the silence and solitude that surrounded me. That, and the sad realization that even if my body wasn’t playing by Luce’s rules, I still had to. I had to because I remained a prisoner to my entire tribe, and I was, therefore, at their mercy. Mercy that, quite clearly, was lacking.

Sadly, if given the choice, I would have preferred death over living this way. I collapsed against the wall in the kitchen and pressed my back against it, sliding down until my butt met the cold floor. Then I did something I hadn’t done or felt like doing in a very long time.

I cried.

Actually, it would have been more truthful to say I bawled. Tears gushed from my eyes like raindrops during a violent storm, and I started to hyperventilate. But nothing could stop the tears. I cried until my eyes grew sore and tired, and my cheeks stung. And when I thought I couldn’t possibly shed another single tear, I started to weep again.

I wasn’t just crying over my own miserable situation. I cried because I missed my sister and Kinloch Kirk. And because I didn’t know what had happened to Rand and the rest of Jolie’s people after Luce attacked them at her wedding. Yes, of course, I considered reaching out to Jolie via our telepathic connection, but it was way too dangerous. I was convinced that Luce had magical wards placed all around my prison with the intent to spy on any telepathic conversations I might attempt. Not to mention the fact that my powers didn’t appear to work within my confines anyway …

With no way to reach out to Jolie, I reassured myself that my sister and Rand were safe. I tried to imagine the two of them playing with their beautiful baby girl, my niece. And somehow, that was enough. Somehow, I managed to teleport myself to a place far away, to a much more happy reality, far different from the one I now was experiencing.

As usual, thoughts of my sister and Kinloch Kirk branched out to thoughts about Sinjin, and I immediately pictured his piercing blue eyes. I could easily recall the way his left eyebrow arched up whenever I said or did something he found amusing. The truth was that I was so scared about the prospect of forgetting Sinjin—forgetting his perfect, masculine beauty—that I purposely envisioned every angle of his face, every one of his boyish smirks.

Of course, there was a part of me that secretly hoped Sinjin would search for me and save me from the agony I now endured every day and night. But as soon as those thoughts surfaced, I had to banish them. I was more than aware that thoughts like that were not only a waste of time, but they were also dangerous. They were dangerous because they bred hope, and hope couldn’t exist in a place like this. Hope had no business here because it was nothing but the treasure at the end of the rainbow. Hope wasn’t real.