“You look stunning,” Sophie said. “Of course you always do. So where’s Mavis? You said she was arriving before the rest of us.”
Without mentioning Sophie’s weight, or lack thereof, Toots was momentarily at a loss for words. How could she tell one friend that the other looked like Two-Ton Tessie while Sophie looked like a Starving Scrawny Sue?
“She’s waiting in the lounge,” was the best she could come up with.
“I can’t wait to see her; it’s been ages. Thank God for the Internet; otherwise, I’d be completely out of the loop. With Walter on the brink of death, it’s the only link I have to the real world. You would think that old fossil would’ve kicked the bucket by now. But no, he’s too damned ornery to die. Every day I wake up—and I hope
he
doesn’t.”
Toots wanted to tell her that was a terrible thing to say, but she alone knew what Walter had put Sophie through. As far as Toots was concerned, the old fossil had lingered on way too long, but she wasn’t going to voice her opinion at the moment.
“Maybe he’ll perish while you’re gone,” Toots said.
“Perish?”
Sophie laughed. “I want the old poop to
die.
D-I-E,” she spelled the letters out.
“Perish
sounds too good for him.”
“How did Walter react when you told him you were leaving?” Toots had kept her promise and arranged for a nurse to stay with Sophie’s husband twenty-four/seven. Sophie had yet to tell her of Walter’s reaction.
“You really want to know? I didn’t even tell him I was leaving. I figured if he was nervous or scared—if Walter even knows what that feels like—I thought maybe once he discovered I flew the coop, it would speed things up. Like massive heart failure or something.”
Toots couldn’t help but laugh. Walter
was
a mean old man.
“Speaking of heart failure. Mavis is heavier than she’s ever been, so don’t be shocked when you see her. Act normal. I told her she was going on a diet while she’s here. She agreed, but something tells me it isn’t going to be easy for her. I’ve got more things in the works for her, like a good checkup, so don’t say anything about her weight unless she brings it up first. She’s got this adorable yacker of a dog. Focus on the dog.”
Briefly, Toots wondered if she could feed Sophie Mavis’s leftovers. Kill two birds with one stone type of thing. She’d think of something to help Sophie put on a few pounds. Sophie had always been the prettiest of the four. Thick, shiny black hair with almond brown eyes. She’d had a figure to die for, too. Now all she had to do was figure out a tasteful way to get Mavis to
stop
stuffing and a way to get Sophie to
start
stuffing. She smiled at the thought.
They retrieved Sophie’s four suitcases from the luggage carousel. Toots was glad she’d driven the Range Rover instead of the Town Car.
Toots pulled the largest of the two bags behind her while Sophie wrestled with two smaller pieces.
“Here.” Toots directed her gaze to the lounge. “Now, remember, not a word about her weight.”
Toots skillfully maneuvered their way through the throngs of travelers, hearing scattered bits of varied conversations in dozens of languages as they made their way to the lounge. The group of loud men at the bar had been replaced by a group of women who were just as loud, if not more so. Amidst the chatter, Toots led Sophie to the booth where Mavis and Coco waited.
Sophie hid her surprise at Mavis’s appearance, but Mavis didn’t bother to restrain herself.
“Girl, you look like a stick! Do you ever eat?”
They hugged and air-kissed before Sophie answered, “Yes, I do but not enough. I’m so busy taking care of that old goat, I don’t have time to eat.” Sophie raked her gaze over Mavis’s bulk. “From the looks of you, I can see food or lack of is not an issue with you.”
“Sophie!” Toots admonished.
“It’s okay, Toots, I know I’m fat and need to lose all this blubber. Maybe Sophie can teach me a thing or two.”
“I never thought our roles would be reversed. Remember when I went through my fat phase our junior year? I didn’t think I’d ever lose those extra thirty pounds. It’s not easy to lose, especially at our age,” Sophie said as she pulled a chair up to the end of the booth.
“Don’t discourage me, Sophie. I just promised Toots I’d go on a diet. I don’t know if I’m up for this or not, but I sure as hell am going to go for the gusto.” Mavis eyed the next table in front of her as the waitress delivered a heaping plate of french fries with crumbled bacon and melted cheese piled on top. “If it doesn’t work, I’ll just die fat and happy!”
“Like hell you will! Tell me you don’t remember all those nightly jogs we took through the park? If memory serves me correctly, Mavis dear,
you
were the skinny little shit that ran alongside me encouraging me, reminding me that Billy Bledsoe wasn’t worth all those late-night binges,” Sophie recalled.
“I do remember that. I was skinny, too. Well, I don’t know if I’ll ever get as thin as I was back in high school, but I wouldn’t mind losing some of this fat. It’s so uncomfortable at times, I want to take a knife and slice it off!”
“Lose the weight, and I’ll check into reconstructive surgery if you’re healthy enough, that is, if you want it,” Toots volunteered.
Mavis shook her head. “Don’t know that I’d go that far, but it’s something to consider. Just promise me one thing? The both of you.” Mavis looked at Toots, then Sophie.
“Anything,” Toots said.
“Whatever you want,” Sophie added.
“Whatever you do, keep the ice cream, potato chips, cakes, and pies out of the house. I don’t know if I could resist if I saw a pint of Cherry Garcia. Those four things are what got me in this mess.”
“I’ll make sure there’s nothing in the fridge to tempt you. Now”—Toots glanced at her watch again—“I’d better go see if Ida’s flight arrived. She’ll be pissed to the teeth if I’m not there to greet her and roll out the red carpet.” She rummaged through her purse, thrust another twenty on the table, then gave her car keys to Sophie.
“Take these to the valet and wait for us there. Ida and I might need a few minutes alone.”
“I can’t believe she’s still ticked at you for stealing away what’s-his-name after all these years. You two go through this routine every time you meet,” Sophie said.
“Ida expects it. I can’t start disappointing her now,” Toots replied.
“True,” Mavis said.
“Yip, yip!” from the carrier.
“Apparently, Coco agrees. Now just follow the signs to the exit. I’ll meet you both at the car. By the way, it’s a Range Rover in case the valet attendant asks.”
Toots left the women in the lounge, knowing Mavis would tell Sophie she had a surprise for all of them. They’d spend their time waiting trying to figure out exactly what the surprise was. She smiled at the image.
Ten minutes later, when she saw Ida emerge from the plane, Toots almost fainted. Mavis and Sophie had weight issues for sure. Ida on the other hand…what the hell
was
her problem?
Toots observed her friend as Ida carefully made her way through the group of debarking passengers, careful to stay as far away from human contact as possible. Ida was neither fat nor skinny. She was just right. Hair graying nicely though plainly styled. Toots thought her old friend was gorgeous, with her perfectly even features, nothing too large or too small. Every feature was where it was supposed to be. Toots always thought she herself was too tall and her lips too thick, but now wasn’t the time to start tallying up her issues against that of her former rival. More immediate issues were at hand. Like why did Ida have on latex gloves and one of those masks surgeons wear?
Her voice muffled by the mask, Ida asked, “Teresa, is that you?”
“Of course it’s me. Who did you think it was, King Kong? I haven’t changed that much, have I?”
Here I go,
Toots thought,
all those damned insecurities slapping me in the face like a cheating lover caught in the act.
“I’m not sure. Let me take a look at you.”
Toots leaned in to give Ida a hug and allow her a close-up look. Ida almost fell over backward. “Do not touch me!”
“What?” Toots asked, sure she hadn’t heard Ida correctly.
“Let’s get out of here. Did you bring all the supplies Mavis told you I’d need? Don’t tell me she didn’t tell you what’s wrong with me, because she called me right after she hung up talking to you last night.”
Yep, other than the germ factor, Ida was still a snippy bitch. Toots planned on curing her, like real quick.
Toots grabbed Ida by the hand. “Follow me, and don’t you dare tell me not to touch you!”
“B
ernice,” Toots announced, “you’ve outdone yourself again. I don’t know when I’ve enjoyed a meal as much.” With Toots a vegan, Mavis on her new diet, Sophie needing to pile on the pounds, and Ida fearing anything she put in her mouth was laced with germs, Toots had called ahead to warn Bernice about the weird eating requirements of her friends. She’d successfully put together a menu that would satisfy each of their needs. Poached salmon and a watercress salad for Mavis, a thick New York strip steak and mashed potatoes for Sophie, and a plate of boiled vegetables for Ida.
Acting the role of maid, chef, and pot scrubber, Bernice merely nodded, then began clearing their plates from the table. With a smirk on her face, Bernice asked, “Would the Missus care for coffee and dessert now?”
“Of course. We’ll have it outside on the terrace.” Toots saw Bernice roll her eyes. If she wanted to play the roll of indentured servant, Toots was game. “Make sure the coffee is hot, too. And I’ll want Half & Half, no skim milk for me, though I’m sure Mavis will want hers black, and she’ll pass on dessert. Ida? Sophie?”
Mavis was the first to speak up. “I don’t want any coffee, but I would like to take a sniff at whatever you’re offering for dessert. I can’t do this cold turkey.”
“Of course you can’t,” Toots confirmed. “Bernice, slice a plate of fresh fruit for Mavis. In bite-size pieces.”
Toots couldn’t help but smile because she knew under ordinary circumstances Bernice would have told her to “kiss her wrinkled old ass” or flipped her the single-digit salute. For the moment, she was on her best behavior.
Meekly, with her eyes lowered, Bernice replied, “Yes, Missus Toots.”
“Sophie? Ida? Dessert and coffee?” Toots asked the pair seated across from her.
“Hell yes, I want dessert! All I’ve heard since I arrived is how skinny I am,” Sophie said with a grin.
Thank goodness her eating disorder wasn’t self-inflicted, Toots thought. She’d just been too occupied with Walter’s care the last year to take proper care of herself. That was about to change.
“Ida?” Toots inquired.
“Nothing, thank you.”
The minute Ida had stepped foot in the house, she’d asked to go to her room, where she took the germ-zapping light Toots had purchased and proceeded to scan it across every inch of the room. Apparently it had been to her satisfaction, for she hadn’t complained. At least not yet. A small bathroom that Toots herself had scrubbed with Clorox and then with ammonia—even Toots knew better than to mix the two if she wanted to be alive when her friends got there—met her standards as well. Ida needed psychiatric help. Big-time and soon. Toots made a mental note to ask Dr. Pauley for a referral.
While the others familiarized themselves with their rooms, she’d called and arranged for the doctor to stop by later that evening. She’d also spoken with Henry Whitmore. He would fax her the required papers so she could set up an account for Mavis. With those tasks out of the way, all she needed was to hear from Christopher to see if the sale had gone through. She said a prayer that it would. Abby would never have to know she’d purchased
The Informer,
because she’d told Christopher she must remain a “silent owner.” Big businesses did that all the time, she reasoned. Abby would never know her new boss. Toots had big plans for her daughter’s future as a tabloid reporter.
Ten minutes later, they scattered around the long expanse of what Toots always referred to as the terrace even though it was a front porch that stretched around the entire perimeter of her home. Old houses in Charleston were like that. They had sunporches, sunrooms, verandas. Toots simply referred to the area as a terrace, and the name had stuck.
When Toots bought the old plantation house years ago, she hadn’t hired a decorator the way most of her friends had. She’d simply bought pieces she liked, and in doing so created a welcoming, homey atmosphere inside and out. Old wicker chairs and tables were arranged so that one person or a group of twenty could converse comfortably without too much effort. Colorful handcrafted pots purchased from many of Charleston’s local artists held a variety of green plants, ferns, and brightly colored flowers. Discreetly placed outdoor lighting created a soft, warm glow all the way around the long porch. Toots loved the varied scents that permeated the outdoors this time of the day, when the world was settling in for an evening of rest, or should be. She always thought of evenings as a time to reflect on the events of the day, both good and bad. Though today she must focus on her guests and what tomorrow would bring.
Bernice served dessert and coffee with as much aplomb as she had earlier. A chocolate mousse with whipped topping and chocolate shavings and a large array of fruit for Mavis and anyone else who cared to forgo a trip down sugar alley.
“How long has it been since we were all together like this?” Mavis asked, between bites of pineapple.
“Six years ago, when Abby graduated from college. Then, when she up and decided to move to California, you girls came to my rescue, remember?” Toots said. “It was the worst day of my life,” she added, recalling how sad and empty she’d felt after Abby flew the coop. That’s when that damned Leland had stepped into her life, trying to charm the pants off her. Stupid her, she’d let him, then felt guilty and married him. Shit! What
had
she been thinking?
“Toots!” Sophie said none too quietly. “Earth to Toots!”
“I bet she’s planning her next wedding,” Ida offered, more like the old Ida they all knew and loved. Not the germaphobe who wouldn’t hug or kiss them in return.
“Oh, shut up! I was thinking about Abby,” Toots said, explaining her temporary private mental mission.
“You should have asked her to come for a visit. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I haven’t seen my goddaughter nearly enough,” Mavis stated.
“I invited her, but she’s too busy with work. Actually, that’s something I want to talk to you all about. Abby’s boss at
The Informer
has a gambling problem. I’m not clear about all the details, but apparently he’s selling the paper to settle his gambling debts. Abby said a condition of the sale may be that all current employees must go.”
“That’s not fair,” Sophie said, sipping her coffee. “Can’t she sue him? Discrimination, something like that?”
Toots shook her head. “I didn’t ask.” She took a deep breath. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you all about. I know each of us has something going on in her life right now, but I don’t think any one of us has something so important that she can’t put it off for a few weeks or…months.” Toots let the statement hang in the air, allowing the girls a chance to absorb her words, hoping they’d know she was leading them to something bigger and better than what they currently had. Not so much a monetary thing, except for Mavis, of course, but a chance for some real excitement. Toots wanted to add some much-needed excitement to her life and her friends’ lives. With her owning and operating a tabloid, the opportunity for some exhilarating thrills was theirs for the taking.
If
they saw it that way.
If
they would welcome a new challenge in their lives.
If
they were willing to relocate temporarily to California. There were a lot of
ifs.
“I know you too well, Teresa. You’ve got something up your sleeve. You’ve always been such a sneak,” Ida said. “I should know,” she added, referring to the past.
“Oh, get over it, Ida! You only wanted Jerry when you thought Toots wanted him. Face the facts, she got him, you didn’t. From what I gather, you’re the lucky one. So what if he left all his millions to Toots? She deserved it after all those years of his cheapness and lack of sex drive. If you want my opinion”—Sophie held up a slim hand—“and I know you don’t, but I’m going to give it to you anyway. Toots did you a favor by snatching him away. So get over it. And you need to get over this germ thing you’ve got going on. Do you realize there are medications for people like you?”
Toots could barely contain her laughter. Leave it to Sophie to call an ace an ace and a spade a spade.
“Is that what you think?” Ida asked indignantly.
“No, it’s what I
know.
You two have been going at it for years, and I, for one, am damned sick of it. It isn’t like you never married. How many times was it?” Sophie looked to Mavis for an answer.
“I can’t remember. Between her and Toots, I lost count. I think it’s a competition thing between the two of them,” Mavis said.
“Three, if you must know,” Ida shot back.
“Bullshit. More like five. I’m not that old that I don’t remember those two idiots you married from Georgia. The ones you claimed were related to Jimmy Carter. The ones you never wanted to talk about. Weren’t they cousins or something?” Toots said to her former rival with a huge grin plastered on her face. She knew it ticked Ida off when someone reminded her of her not-so-perfect past.
“I’ll have you know I had both marriages annulled. And no, they were not cousins. They were very…
distant
cousins, not close at all. They didn’t even know one another until I came along,” Ida said with an air of haughtiness that was
so Ida.
Snickering, Sophie said, “I wonder if they ever compared notes.”
Ida stood up. “I don’t know why I even bother with you three. All you do is crack jokes about one another and talk about sex.”
“Sit down, Ida. We’re teasing, and you know it. Stop acting like some lily-white puritan. We’re your friends, or have you forgotten that?” Toots asked.
Gingerly, Ida sat back down on the edge of a stool. “You won’t let me. I know we’re friends, but truly when you took Jerry away, well, let’s just say my life hasn’t been the same. I’ve been trying to find a…substitute to replace him if you must know. He really broke my heart. And so did you,” Ida added, tears streaming down her face like two silvery rivers.
Toots thought Ida had missed her calling. She should’ve been an actress. This repeat performance was getting old. Ida needed a new script. If she’d stop caterwauling long enough, Toots was about to offer her,
all of them,
the opportunity of a lifetime.
Toots passed Ida a tissue while Sophie lit a cigarette and Mavis snarfed down the last piece of fruit on the platter.
“I have a proposition I’d like to offer for your consideration. It’s not set in stone yet, but something tells me that’s just a formality.” When Toots saw she had her three best friends’ undivided attention, she continued. “It’s about Abby.” Now she really had their attention. Faultless they were not. Godmothers, they were the best.
“Is she sick?” Ida asked.
“I bet she’s getting married!” Sophie shouted exuberantly.
“Is she a lesbian?” Mavis asked timidly.
“No, no, and no.” Toots looked at Mavis questioningly. “Why would you even ask such a question?”
“I don’t know. Abby’s not getting any younger. I never hear anything about her dating anyone special. I just thought I’d ask. It’s not that big a deal anymore. Not like when we were young. Remember Sheila Finkelstein? She’s a lesbian. I saw her with her partner years ago at the theater in New York when I took my English class there for their senior trip. I always suspected it when we were in high school. There was just something about her, you know, the way she would watch you undress in gym class. I never felt comfortable around her.”
“That’s more than I needed to know,” Toots said. “I do remember her, though. Never thought too much about her sexual preference then, either.”
The four women laughed deep, belly-hurting laughs. Just like old times. Yes, they all had their quirks, but they had the ties of almost fifty years of friendship to bind them.
It would take another fifty to unravel them.