Unable to have him console her and allow her to confront her pain, she dammed the tears back, braced her spine and carried on as if all were right. At night, however, her resolve collapsed. Days passed, and sleep came later and later. When she did succumb to exhaustion, Matsumoto entered her dreams and perpetrated vile and vicious acts on her unguarded body. The longer the days, the more horrific her nightmares became.
From a far corner of the dreams, Sanematsu observed. He talked and laughed with Tsuta while holding a bundle. He turned away and departed without lifting a hand to help as she cried out.
The maid who slept in the alcove beside Aderyn’s room and the guards posted at each side of the outer door witnessed her troubled sleep, overhearing her as she thrashed and called out. Once, the men even entered the chamber, swords bared, to see who was attacking the daimyo’s guest. They found her sleeping. Her maid came to check on her, also, and waved the men away. Disturbed, she sought Sachi.
**
*
Sachi took the maid’s resting place to complete her duty to Sanematsu’s yabanjin. After only one night, Tori’s screams disrupted her sleep; she rushed to her bedside along with the two guards.
Although asleep, Tori shouted in Portuguese, except for the name of their master. Beneath the covers, she struggled with phantoms.
“Tori! Be calm.”
Sachi took her shoulders to keep her from harm. The two men watched, confused with nothing to use their swords against.
“All is well.”
As Tori writhed, her covering fell away to reveal her unclad body, allowing them to see the cut beneath her breast and on her arm. Samurai and lady exchanged perplexed looks. With quick moves, Sachi covered the girl, continuing to speak soothing words.
Tori woke, her eyes clouded with questions.
“Sachi-sama? What are you doing here?”
“You were calling out,” Sachi explained. “I thought you might harm yourself.”
She dismissed the men by waving them out as she spoke. They obeyed. The maid, Kuri, arrived and stood just inside the doorway.
“I’m fine. I’m sorry I woke you. How could I have disturbed you?” She pulled the cover protectively to her chest.
“Kuri was concerned for your welfare. I slept nearby. I do not wish to be impolite, Tori, but I must ask what causes you to be so troubled.”
She pulled the edge of the quilt from the girl’s grip and folded it back to expose the sword cuts. The thin line of open skin beneath Tori’s breast was healing, the tissue pink and healthy. The deep arm wound, however, was infected and red; Tori’s struggling had torn it open to seep fresh blood.
Sachi took care as she removed the fouled bandages and motioned for Kuri to come near. After whispered instructions the girl departed.
“How did you come by these wounds?
“I…do not wish to speak of it.” Tori jerked the cover back over her. She put her back to Sachi and lay on her side.
“Tori, Kuri has told me you do not eat. You do not sleep well. If someone has harmed you, Lord Sanematsu will see they are punished.” She put a hand on Tori’s shoulder and rolled her over onto her back. “I wish to help, not to pry.”
“It is not so…simple. I cannot tell you…or anyone!” Tears snuck out from under her clenched eyelids. Her chin quivered, and she bit her lip as she lost the battle not to cry.
She rose to embrace Sachi and wept. Rocking her as she had her babies, Sachi held her as she sobbed, tears flowing down her face, her nose running in great globs. Her breath came in huge gulps as she clutched Sachi’s over-kosode.
Sachi soothed her until she was quiet. When the sniffling stopped, she moved her away and gave her some paper for her nose and face.
“I did not intend for you to see me like this.” Tori blew her nose several times.
“All women have, at times, the need to cry,” Sachi said to ease her embarrassment.
Kuri returned with a tray.
“Here, let me see to this.” Sachi redressed Aderyn’s wound with a clean bandage. “Sharing your fear would ease that, also,” she commented as she put the last touches to the dressing.
“Sachi-sama, you once explained the search for solitude every Nihonese seeks.” Tori took a deep breath and pushed her hair out of her face. “You also said your people respect the wishes of others in regard to privacy. Another does not see or hear unless it is proper.”
“I recall this.” Sachi smiled. An avid student, Tori complained playfully about her teachings. Her teasing made their conversations all the more interesting.
“In this matter, please, do not ask,” Tori pleaded. She clutched Sachi’s hand so hard she thought her fingers would break, “As my friend, do not see and do not hear!”
Sachi stroked the barbarian’s hand, hoping to relax her grip. Within a few moments, she did ease her hold, and the quiet of the night filled the room. Fear, pain and intimidation registered on the girl’s face, and Sachi had her answer. Samurai were skilled at the art of intimidation.
She feared blooding his katana without honor was not all an unnamed warrior had done. He was, after all, a man, and Tori, even if not Nihonese, was pretty and had been unclothed, if the cut on her chest was an indication. What else had taken place? Sachi longed to know, yet etiquette did not allowed her to pry unless Tori allowed it. She did, however, have one avenue of recourse.
“Tori, I will not inquire further after one question, which you must answer.” She hated the impropriety but had to have knowledge on which to base her actions. “Has anyone take from you that which you were not willing to give?”
“No,” Tori choked out. The light-colored locks swayed as she shook her head.
“I will pry no more. If you should desire to tell me, I will be most honored to listen. I can help.” Sachi pulled her hand from Tori’s and smoothed the girl’s hair over her shoulder. “I am your friend. You must always trust in that.”
“Thank you, Sachi-sama. Thank you.” Tori hugged her.
“I have something to help you sleep.” Sachi came out of the embrace, holding Tori at arm’s length to study her eyes. Dark circles filled her sockets and the skin over her cheeks was drawn. Exhaustion marked her face. Though hours away, dawn would come too soon for someone who could not get the rest they needed.
From the lacquered chest in a corner, she removed a small vial of powder. She sprinkled a scant amount in a bowl of water and stirred it briskly until no trace remained. Coming back to the bedside, she handed the bowl to Tori.
Aderyn made a face after sniffing the contents. “If it smells this bad, how must it taste?”
“It will help you to sleep,” Sachi informed her. “Go ahead. Drink.” She put a hand beneath the bowl and pushed it up toward her mouth. “I would not poison you.” She gave a light laugh.
Aderyn sipped.
“It is awful!” She offered the bowl back.
“Drink.” Sachi pressed it back. “Or must I call Lord Sanematsu? He will see that you do.”
“I bet he would. You have become my mother.” She brought the bowl to her lips, shut her eyes and gulped the sedative.
“Everyone needs a mother.” Sachi took the empty bowl. “Here.” In place of the medicine bowl, she handed her a small sake bowl of honey from Kuri’s tray. Tori licked in a childish manner at the sweet syrup as Sachi put away the medicine. When the sweet treat was gone, she set the second bowl aside then encouraged her to lie back and covered her. Soothing the girl’s hair back off her face, she stroked her cheek with a practiced hand.
“You are a very good friend, Sachi-sama.” Tori’s words slurred as the medicine took effect. Her eyelids drooped.
“Sleep, Tori.” Sachi continued to stroke her hair. “I will stay with you.”
She slipped into sleep. Sachi wondered what karma held for the girl. Why was she so important to Lord Sanematsu? Was she a female plaything? What would her place be when he joined with Tsuta? What would Lord Sanematsu do should he discover someone had harmed his bird? Did he not suspect? Since the night of his feast, he had had many difficulties. Maybe he had not thought of her.
Bound by giri, she had to inform him of Tori’s situation. It saddened her to go against Tori’s wishes, but her duty to her liege lord came before such promises. Nor did she wish to drive Tori away from her, for they needed one another too much. Though she feared Lord Sanematsu’s reaction when he found out, she would tell him in the morning.
CHAPTER TWENTY
You requested this meeting, Sachi-sama, so speak,” Sanematsu said with uncustomary impatience. His temper had worn thin; his nerves set on edge by each encounter. Never before had the politics of his life caused such turmoil that he could not compartmentalize all the details to remain calm and relaxed. No more. There was too much to deal with.
“Yes, my lord. It concerns Tori.”
Sachi would find no reassurance in his presence, and he could not blame her. He was not himself.
“Something harmful has happened to her. She will not tell me what.”
“I did notice cuts on her face.” He settled his agitation.
“She also has a wound on her breast and left arm.”
“And she does not say who did this?” His voice rose, and he felt his face grow hot. “Was that all that was done?”
“She asked that I not press the subject. If anything else happened, she is afraid to tell me. She will not open up to allow me to help her.”
“I will demand she tell me exactly what took place!” His voice rattled the panels, startling a cat lounging on the engawa. He started out the door.
“Sire!” Sachi called as she stood to follow him. “That is exactly what you cannot do!”
“
What?
” He whirled to face her. The cat fled the room, scurrying out the panel he had slid open.
“So sorry, great lord.” Sachi ducked her head, falling back two paces. “Please forgive me, but you must not confront Tori. She asked that I not see her disgrace. I have betrayed her confidence.”
“You have done only your duty to me. She will understand. I must now do mine to her.”
Sanematsu’s rage filled his being. Someone had hurt a person important to him. The pain in his chest spread to his stomach, the acid churning with the knowledge of Tori’s hurt.
“I must discover what happened and who hurt her! I will not have her harmed by anyone!”
“You must leave her alone.” Sachi took her life in her hands to speak so bluntly, even with a man she knew as well as she did her own husband. “Or, at least, do not be direct. You have the story she gave you. She thinks you already know and are avoiding her, since you have not been with her in a number of days. If you treat her as you always have she will explain it to you in due time.”
Sanematsu relaxed and slid the panel back in place. Sachi was wise, seeing things more clearly than he.
“You have made your point, and I am thankful, Sachi-sama. I will wait to learn the truth, but I will see her
now
.”
**
*
The loud roar of the waves crashing on the shore filled Aderyn’s ears as she walked on the beach. Coming to a halt at the water’s edge, she debated whether or not to attempt to wade. Hamasaki and the two other guards kept their distance. He would delight in dragging her out. Maybe she should let him. The man deserved something as revenge for the day of the shark. She would not give him the pleasure today.
She resumed her walk, her head down to search for interesting seashells. Now and then, she knelt to pick one up, cleaning and inspecting the specimen. All too often, she would toss the treasure away, but she continued to search.
Without warning, a man’s feet and legs came into view. Before she could help it, she collided with his chest. In terror, she screamed and turned to run.
“Ko-tori!” Sanematsu gripped her upper arms to keep her from fleeing. Almost immediately, he lessened his hold on her left arm, but kept the right in tight restraint to prevent her from fleeing in panic.
“Oh, Sanematsu-sama!” She stepped back. She did not fight his grasp, but avoided his searching gaze. “I…am…s–s–sorry,” she stuttered. “You…startled me.”
“I did not intend to frighten you.” Bit-by-bit, he released her. “You are well guarded. Do you think Hamasaki-sama would allow anyone dangerous to walk up on you in this manner?”
“I was deep in thought.” She tried to put him off the subject by facing the ocean. She rubbed the injured arm then stopped lest he ask her if she were hurt.
“What could be so interesting to keep you from being aware of someone approaching?”
“Nothing, really.” She shrugged and threw the few shells she held back into the ocean.
“Ko-tori, my country, my ryo-chi, are such that you dare not lose yourself in unawareness. You have no guarantee of safety unless my men or I are at your side.”
**
*
She did not reply, only turned her back to him. She sniffled softly. Touched by her evident pain, he took her shoulders and turned her to face him, then dropped his hands. His greatest desire was to pull her to his chest and enfold her in the safety of his arms, to feel her length along his body.
“I do not think you are being truthful with me.” He watched closely as she looked up at him. Her eyes darted away and back, as if she could not resist his gaze. “And I do not believe you fell.” He grazed the cut highest on her cheek with the tip of one finger.
She took his hand away from her face.
“You know how clumsy I am, sire!”
She tried to laugh, holding his hand an instant too long. He hoped his warmth would enter her cold one.
She walked away. “I would trip over my own bare feet. And these dresses give me such problems.” She flounced the layers of robes. “I wish I had something else to wear.”
Sanematsu watched her wipe her eyes, trying to do it before he saw there were tears.
“You could wear these.” He gestured at the black hakama he wore, choosing to postpone, for the moment, learning what had befallen her. Sooner or later, he would have an answer. “They are for men, but you could wear them because you are--”
“A barbarian!” Her genuine laughter was music to his ears. She faced him, her green eyes sparkling.
“Because you are you, you can be allowed many things.” A sly smile came to his lips. “You wore my hitatare very well once.”
“Those would be preferable to these. I never learned to walk properly for a lady even in European dresses, so my stride is too long for these narrow skirts. Your hakama and hitatare would be perfect if we ever get around to going horseback riding.”
They wandered the sand.
“You once spoke of something called a picnic,” Sanematsu reminded her. The scent of her soap and shampoo drifted across to his nostrils, teasing awake his manly urges. The desire to press his face into the soft swell of her throat filled him.
“You remember the oddest things at the weirdest times.” She stooped to pick up a silvery shell. Dusting and blowing the sand off, she put it in the sleeve of her uchiki. Her pale hand pushed the silk away, revealing the soft underside of her forearm. His passion grew; he wanted to run his lips along the sleek skin.
“You shall prepare such an outing for tomorrow, and we will ride out to the woods. I know of a special place where we can be alone.”
Being alone with the one woman who stirred his blood as no other would be tempting. Could he restrain himself and leave her chaste? He would welcome the temptation.
“Shall we return to the castle?”
The sun began to fade.
“I would rather walk some more,” Tori admitted.
“Very well.” He clasped his hands behind his back to avoid touching her. For a little while longer, they strolled away from Nishikata, the castle and all their burdens.
**
*
Aderyn woke the following morning to the quiet sound of Sachi entering her room. Her friend carried two pieces of clothing--a white hitatare and a pair of black hakama. Aderyn did not ask what man was doing without his clothing. From the size of the pants, it was more likely a boy. By its familiar roominess, the shirt came from Lord Sanematsu.
Dressing in the male attire took almost as long as getting into a female’s. Sachi applied a new kind of ointment to her cuts, wrapped them with new bandages and, in a concession to her womanhood, pulled a hitoe around her. Wrapping her legs as Sanematsu did, she wore the canvas shoes with rope soles. By the time they were finished, she had decided she would wear the comfortable, casual costume all the time. She pulled her long hair back and tied it with a ribbon.
“Ryorishi has prepared the lunch you ordered,” Sachi stated. “You will pick it up then meet Lord Sanematsu at the stables.”
“Good.” A chill ran through her at the mention of the stables. Would she have to enter the building? What would she do? How could she keep her composure? She took a deep breath and tried to forget her anxiety.
Sachi accompanied her to the kitchen, where she received the best picnic lunch she could devise. Many Nihonese dishes lent themselves to packing and being served cold. Ryorishi, the chief cook, explained in minute detail how the foreigner was to serve his creations and all but threatened her life if he learned she strayed from his instructions. The cook assured her that, packed in the basket, the meal would be safe for carrying on the back of a horse.
With mixed excitement and apprehension, Aderyn approached the stables. She hung back, looking around for Matsumoto, afraid to enter. His sneering laughter rang in her ears, and she expected him to step out of the shadows.
Lord Sanematsu, flanked by his men, emerged from the building. The sleek bay stallion followed him. Sachi slipped away from her side.
“Oh, Sanematsu-sama,” Aderyn cooed as she approached the familiar horse. The dark muzzle stretched out, pulling at the reins he held. “Is this one to be mine?”
She could view the horse without the shame and tears that had shielded his beauty from her before. During the rare years she was in Europe she had been introduced to horses. This Nihonese-bred horse, the tallest she had ever seen, was far superior to even the fine Spanish horses. No white markings marred the dark, reddish-brown hide adorned with raven black mane and tail. The velvet nose bobbed up and down to nuzzle Sanematsu’s head and shoulders as he tried to push past his master to reach her.
As his retainers watched in amazement, Sanematsu roared with laughter.
“Hardly! He is my warhorse, a spirited stallion, not trained for a woman.”
He stroked the silky muzzle. The animal whinnied and pressed against the familiar hand, determined to reach his goal. Frustrated, the horse tossed his head high and proud.
“I believe he wishes to meet you. This is Dai-tan.” The name meant “Bold One.”
“He is so beautiful.”
Aderyn went to the animal as Sanematsu and his people watched in awe. Normally, the horse would have stepped away to evade a stranger’s touch. Instead, he approached her like a decrepit carthorse; the regal head dropped, his ears sagging and the battle-bred disposition melting away. Aderyn spoke to him in whispers and he rubbed against her hand in response. His big brown eyes registered his recognition. She sensed an explanation was in order, but she could not explain to Lord Sanematsu what tied her to his horse.
“He is magnificent,” she said instead as she stroked the sleek neck.
“This will be your horse.” Sanematsu signaled for a blaze-faced bay mare to be led out to stand beside Dai-tan. The stallion’s head popped up, instantly alert, and the two horses exchanged breath. “She is his mother and should be excellent for your purposes.”
Did he think her a complete idiot? She did not need an old mare. She could ride--and well, at that.
“What is her name?” She turned her attention to the mare. She, too, was tall and lean. Spirit lit her eyes.
“She is called Koji, ‘one without a parent.’ Her mother was lost shortly after her birth,” Sanematsu told her.
An old man--Uma, the horse master, Aderyn was told--tied the food basket to the saddle then turned to help her up, directing her to the horse’s right side. She wasn’t surprised, as she had seen the samurai mount from the side she would not have dared approach with a European-trained mount.
Lord Sanematsu approached, moving Uma aside.
“I will assist you.” He stepped behind her, placing a hand on either side of her waist. She leaned against him to place her foot in the stirrup. The length of his hard body supported hers. His strength, his chest rising and falling against her, caused her heart to pound and the air in her lungs to become short. She was hot and damp in areas of her body never so afflicted. An electric thrill coursed through her.
Her foot secure, Sanematsu lifted and pushed her up onto the horse’s back. Without his body next to hers, the flow of current was broken. A warm glow remained.