The Secret Catamite Bk 1, The Book of Daniel (35 page)

"Here we are, Mum," said
Daniel.

"I don't know what to say, to
either of you," said Mrs Gray. "You were both naked? I don't
understand."

"Oh Mum," said Louise,
despairingly. "They've been at it for years."

"What!" said Daniel, turning to
his sister. For once, Daniel was lost for words.

"Well, look at you, it's obvious
you two are in love, and knowing boys, the rest was pretty obvious
too."

Simon flushed red and shook,
looking down at the floor. But Daniel continued to hold his hand
tightly.

"You mean Daniel's a … and Simon
too?" Mrs Gray said, but looking at her son, standing quietly and
defiantly before her. "What will your father say?"

"If he doesn't know now, don't
tell him," suggested Louise, pragmatically. "And Simon goes north
tomorrow, so what's the point?"

"Is there anybody else?" Mrs
Gray abruptly demanded of Daniel. "Now or in the past? Am I going
to get more surprises?"

"No," said Daniel. "Simon has
only ever been the one, and only ever will be. He's so
special."

"That's what you call it,
special. I think it's…" and then Mrs Gray stopped, unable to say
how she felt; to voice the feelings would be to commit, and she
didn't want to commit. "Simon, have you anything to say?"

But Daniel spoke first. "Mum,
leave Simon out of it. It's not his fault and anyway, as Louise
says, what's the point now?"

"I'm sorry … "began Simon,
unable to meet Mrs Gray's eyes, but Daniel cut in.

"Simon, don't be sorry," he said
turning to his friend. "You've nothing to be sorry about and I'm
not sorry," he finished with emphasis, turning back to his mother
and sister.

"I just don't feel I can just
leave it at that, Daniel. We need to sort this out. We have to
talk," said Mrs Gray.

"Not now, Mum. Not tonight of
all nights. Tomorrow. Please," Daniel pleaded.

Mrs Gray hesitated, looked at
Louise who was nodding.

"Very well, but I think it's
time for Simon to leave."

"Come on," said Daniel, drawing
Simon away.

"Good bye," said Simon, "Thank
…" He was going automatically to say 'Thank you for having me', but
somehow, he just could not.

"Come on," said Daniel again,
and the two went out into the hallway.

"Simon!" Mrs Gray was calling
after him. "I hope it works out for you all up there." Simon turned
and just nodded. Louise was smiling and nodding also. Then they
turned and closed the sitting room door, leaving the two alone in
the hall.

"Your jacket," said Daniel,
helping Simon on with it.

"Why did it have to end like
this?" said Simon, bitterly.

"What did you want? 'They all
lived happily ever after'? You're such an idiot," said Daniel,
smiling through the tears in his eyes. "Louise is right. I love
you. I have loved you for as many years as I can remember. I don't
regret a single thing and I never will. Remember that Doris Day
song?

Once I had a secret love

That lived within the heart of
me

Maybe one day this bloody
country will wake up to the truth."

Simon looked at Daniel, waves of
emotion released. "Oh God. I love you too. I don't regret it
either. I'm going to miss you. I love you so much."

"We'll meet again."

"In all the old familiar
places?"

"Different song, idiot. But I
expect so," said Daniel, managing a smile, "just don't know where,
don't know when."

"Promise? Scout's Honour?"

"Promise. Scout's Honour."

In that hallway, the two hugged
tightly and kissed, a kiss that summed up all the years of
closeness, of shared childhood and youth, of sexual exploration,
passion and deep, abiding love. They drew apart, and Daniel opened
the front door to the cold, wet late November night.

"Write," said Simon. Daniel
nodded. And Simon left, stopping at the gate to look back at
Daniel, silhouetted against the light from the hallway. Then he
turned and ran home.

He ran in through the back door,
and hung up his wet jacket. Mum called from the sitting room.

"That you Simon? Say goodbye to
Daniel?" The word – goodbye – cut Simon deep inside. He didn't
answer. "Are you all right, love?" called Mum.

"No, not really," said Simon.
"I'm going to bed. 'Night."

"Leave him, Mum," he heard
Frances say. "He'll be OK. It must be hard, he and Daniel have been
friends for years. It's like me saying goodbye to Jennifer."

But by then he was upstairs in
his room, lying on the temporary airbed, weeping uncontrollably.
Mourning the loss of all he knew, his whole world, but specially,
hugely and overwhelmingly, the loss of Daniel. Why had it taken so
long for them to say it? Why wait until now to say just how much
they loved each other? Why did it take Louise of all people? What
is wrong with this bloody world? The love that dare not speak its
name. Well, it had now, but it was Daniel who would bear the brunt
of it.

The next morning was cold, now
December, and showing it. But it was dry. Mum had got them up
early, it was a long way to go. Bilthaven. Simon had this image of
a grim and grimy place, heavy industry. A long way. It was a
Thursday, but no school now for Simon. After breakfast, still dark
outside, they packed their last things and put them in the little
Ford. It was crammed and Simon was to share the back seat with an
assortment of effects that had not gone on ahead. A last look at
his room, a few things remaining, and round the house. Would Dad be
OK when he came back, he wondered.

As it grew light, it was time to
go. They climbed in the car. Mum was pale and quiet, determination
and resolve on her face, Frances quiet too, lost in her thoughts.
They backed out of the drive for the last time and turned towards
the corner.

There he was, leaning with his
consuming elegance in Hooray Henrys uniform against the corner
fence. Seeing the car, Daniel stood up.

"Oh, there's Daniel, Simon,"
said Mum. "That's nice." Simon looked at his love as the car drew
level. Their eyes met, those wonderful blue eyes. Mum looked and
then the car moved round the corner, turning away from Daniel.

"I love you, Simon!" shouted
Daniel.

"What did he say?" asked Mum.
Nobody replied. Simon looked out of the back window as the car went
down the hill to the main road until Daniel was gone from sight.
Gone.

# # END # #

If you would like to know
the rest of Simon’s story, you can read the entire trilogy “The
Clouds Still Hang”.

Details
at
:

http://www.thecloudsstillhang.com/

Connect with
Me Online:

My
blog:
http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5782172.Patrick_C_Notchtree/blog

Twitter:
https://twitter.com/pcnotchtree

Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/pcnotchtree

Smashwords:
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/pcn

LinkedIn:
http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=223042206&trk=tab_pro