The Secret Sister (21 page)

20

W
hen Rafe woke up, Maisey was sprawled all over him. They still had some clothes on—what little remained after taking off, at some point during the night, anything that had been too restrictive to sleep in. She was still wearing what she'd been wearing when he found her running from Keith—a thin button-up sweater with panties, although she was now minus her jeans and bra. He was in boxers and a T-shirt. But he had his hand up under her sweater before he was even completely aware of what he was doing.

He came more fully awake when the feel of her made him hard. Then he froze. He'd told himself he wouldn't be stupid enough to get involved with a woman who'd never take him seriously. But his body didn't seem to care about anything except the next few minutes... Rafe had been with quite a few women over the years. Not very many since Laney was born but enough to know that Maisey excited him more than anyone he'd touched in a long time.

She opened her eyes. She looked groggy at first, but quickly grew more alert. No doubt having his hand on her breast had something to do with that.

Again, he ordered himself to stop—and, again, he ignored that command. He craved the same fulfillment she'd given him once before, and he had plenty of ways to justify going after it. Maybe she wasn't interested in a relationship with him, but she didn't seem opposed to getting physical. They wouldn't even be in the same bed if it weren't for her. Last night, when he'd returned from her place, she'd been asleep. She'd awakened briefly as he lifted her from the couch, but when he'd put her in his bed, she'd made it clear that she didn't want to be alone, so he'd lain down with her and she'd cuddled up against him. There'd been no sexual overtones in her actions. But her desire to be close to him had been so simple and shameless it reminded him of Laney, crawling into his lap when she needed love or reassurance.

Rafe had been happy to comfort Maisey. He didn't want to make her feel as if his support came with a price tag that included sex. But he couldn't pretend he didn't want her. He experienced such a strong physical reaction whenever she was around.

She didn't speak. She seemed to be holding her breath, waiting to see what he'd do next.

He almost wished she'd refuse his advances. Then the decision would be taken away from him.

When she didn't, when he was fairly confident he could have what he wanted, his desire grew until he could feel tension in every muscle. Still, he would've gotten out of bed if not for the way she was looking at him. Something had changed, and the promise of what that change could mean held him in place.

He had a chance. She was doubtful, skeptical and resistant, but she wasn't
indifferent
. Because of that, he became transfixed, especially when she reached up and touched his face.

That caress demolished his defenses. He didn't know where she stood with her ex, whether she'd be willing to take on her disapproving mother in order to go out with him, or how long she'd be staying on the island. But this moment felt like the first truly honest moment they'd shared. She was interested in him, even if she didn't want to be.

As their eyes met, he decided he'd take it a step further, see how she reacted.

He kept his gaze on her face while he undid her buttons. But once he pushed her sweater open and looked down, he could barely breathe. “God, you're beautiful,” he told her. “The prettiest woman I've ever seen.”

She grimaced. “You made fun of Jack for saying that.”

“Because he was using it as a pickup line. I've already got you in my bed. I'm just telling you the truth.”

“That's the truth? With all the women you must've known?”

Why was she always throwing his past at him? If he'd had a serious interest in any of those women, he wouldn't be living alone. But she used his reputation like a shield—something she could wedge between them to keep him from getting too close. “I was young and a bit wild,” he said. “But I've never preyed on women, never purposely broken anyone's heart.”

“I didn't mean you went around
trying
to hurt people...”

“So what
did
you mean? Are you going to hold my past against me forever?”

“I'm not holding anything against you,” she said. “I'm just...trying to keep things in perspective.”

“You're trying to distance yourself, to make sure I don't sneak up on you in a weak moment and somehow get you to care about me.”

Her gaze remained steady. “Maybe.”

“The question is why?” he said. “Why are you fighting the attraction? It was your ex who cheated on you, not me. I've never been a cheater.”

“Have you ever made a commitment?” she asked. “What's the longest relationship you've had?”

He didn't want to answer, knew it wouldn't reflect well on him. He hadn't had a relationship that'd lasted more than a few months. But until Laney came along and changed his priorities, he hadn't been ready to get serious. “Some people take more time to grow up than others.”

“I can only offer friendship, Rafe.”

He shook his head. “No. That's not enough.”

“No?” she echoed in surprise.

“People don't want to sleep with their friends, Maisey—most people, anyway.”

He could see her chest rising and falling.

“But...I'm not in a good situation.”

“How will pushing me out of your life make it any better?” he asked. “You can't stop living, can't isolate yourself just because you've been hurt.”

“
Just?
I need some time!”

“Fine. Give me a reason to wait.”

Obviously tempted to succumb to that plea, she watched him warily. “How?”

“You can start by telling me what you're feeling right now.”

Goose bumps broke out on her skin as he ran his fingers lightly over her right breast. “I'm sure you can guess what I'm feeling,” she said.

He
could
guess, but getting her to acknowledge it seemed important. “Do you want me inside you?” he whispered, sliding his lips over her breastbone, her clavicle, her neck and then up to her ear. “If so, you're going to have to say it.”

She hesitated so long he raised his head. She was torn; he could tell by the concern on her face. “Rafe...”

“Say it.”

She quivered when he trailed his fingertips between her breasts and lower, over her stomach.

“I should go,” she murmured, but she didn't get up. Her eyes closed in a sign of surrender as his hand slid inside the tiny scrap of fabric that constituted her underwear.

“Come on, Maisey...?”

“I want you,” she admitted, and the desperation in those three words was enough. Their tongues met the moment his mouth touched hers, and the tension built almost as quickly. Despite his efforts to take their lovemaking slow, to savor every sensation, he could feel the urgency rising up inside them both. She seemed so much more invested this time; that excited him more than anything else.

He was trembling as he removed the rest of their clothing and tossed her panties on the floor. He told himself to calm down and let the pleasure creep over them both. Illogical though it was, part of him believed that if only he could make this spectacular enough, she wouldn't be able to shut him out later, like she had before. But the wonder on her face when he settled himself between her thighs nearly got the better of him. This wasn't just about the pleasure. This was a real connection. That was why she was fighting what she felt; it frightened her.

He couldn't allow himself to thrust or it would all end too soon. She didn't speak while he grappled for control, but when he started to move, she gripped his buttocks and pulled him deeper. And the fact that she never broke eye contact when she did that turned his blood to fire...

Rafe had never achieved climax with so little friction. But as soon as Maisey gasped his name, he had to accept that he'd lost the battle to make it last. He could feel her watching him as he came inside her.

“You're not too freaked out, are you?” he asked, dropping back on the mattress. He knew he'd pushed her into something she didn't feel ready for.

“No, but...you're crazy to want anything to do with me. My life is out of control.”

“You think I don't know that?”

He coaxed half a smile out of her with a grin.

“What happened with your brother last night?” he asked.

She glanced away. “I can't talk about that.”

“There has to be a reason Keith was burning those pictures.”

“He was angry, high—didn't know what he was doing.”

“And the letters? Why would he want to burn those, too?”

When she pulled the sheet up to cover herself, he sensed that she was already retreating. This wasn't a subject she wanted him to pursue, and yet whatever was going on in her life had to do with what had happened last night. “I haven't read them, like I said.”

“You must have some idea.”

She shook her head. “Stop pressuring me. It's too personal.”

He leaned up on one elbow. “I can't be there for you if you won't let me.”

She seemed about to break down and tell him. But then her eyebrows drew together and her chin came up. “See? This is what I was worried about.” She started to get out of bed, but he caught her hand.

“Don't run away.”

“I told you I need time.”

“And I'll give it to you.”

With a sigh, she fell back onto the bed. “Okay, then why do we always have to talk about me? What about
you
?”

“What about me?” he asked mildly.

“Where's
your
brother? I remember you have one.”

“Sam lives in Virginia with his wife and kids.”

“Does he visit very often?”

“Hardly ever.”

“Not even to see your mother?”

“He likes to pretend Mom's fine. He sends her a few hundred bucks for Christmas. But that's about it.”

“Does that upset her?”

“If it does, she hasn't said anything. I keep her pretty busy. Watching Laney gives her a purpose, a way to make a living.”

“So you're the only one taking care of her.”

“In case you haven't noticed, I need her as much as she needs me,” he said wryly.

“You could always hire someone else to watch Laney.”

“I guess I could, but I'm more comfortable having Laney spend her days with someone who cares about her as deeply as I do. Makes it easier for me to work.”

She bit her lip. “I love the way you are with her.”

“Aren't I like most fathers?”

“Some, maybe. The good ones.”

He smiled. “See?”

“See what?”

“I have a heart.”

She laughed. “How old was Laney when she came to live with you?”

He reached over to move a strand of hair out of her face. “Three months.”

“
Three months?
That's young! Was she with her mother before that?”

“No. She was in the NICU. She was born at twenty-five weeks, weighed less than two pounds.”

Maisey sat up against the headboard. “Is that why she's blind?”

He nodded.

“I didn't realize a newborn could survive at twenty-five weeks.”

“She almost didn't,” he said. “I've never seen a baby so small. I could hold her in the palm of my hand.”

“Did you know when she was born that...that she wouldn't be able to see?”

“Yes. The doctor told me almost immediately.”

There was a troubled expression on her face. “It's odd, you know? How some babies, born with so many problems, not only live but flourish. And others, born at the usual forty weeks—perfect in every way—can't.”

He found that to be a strange comment. “I guess. But what makes you think of that?”

Her face grew shuttered. “Nothing. Just that she must be a fighter to have overcome so much.”

“She
is
a fighter.”

“What happened to her mother?” She held up a hand. “Don't tell me she died during childbirth or something equally horrific.”

“No. Natalie couldn't deal with the whole thing, I guess.”

Her eyes widened. “You
guess
? You don't
know
?”

“It's not like she explained it to me. Once they released her from the hospital, she took off and never looked back.”

“She wasn't worried? Wasn't interested in sticking around to help her baby?”

“She must not have been too concerned, because I haven't heard from her since.”

She gaped at him. “I can't even imagine that. Have you ever tried to reach
her
?”

“Not recently. I'd rather not hear from her now. It's been too long, and we're comfortable with our lives. I'm afraid she'd just get in the way or make things even harder. But I tried at first. She didn't answer any of my calls, and less than a day later, her phone was disconnected.”

“That was it?”

He punched up his pillow. They weren't touching, but they were only a few inches apart. “Pretty much. I went by her place, but her roommates said she'd packed up and left, and they didn't know where.”

“And her family?”

“She once told me they lived in Utah, but that was all I had to go on—that and the fact they were upset she was pregnant and not married.”

“Do you think they might be part of the reason she ran away?”

“Could be. Or maybe, when Laney was born with so many problems, she just decided to pretend she'd never had a baby.”

Maisey didn't say anything for several seconds. Resting her cheek on her hands, she stared back at him.

“What's going through your mind?” he asked.

“I'm wondering if you were ever a couple.”