Authors: Jo Whittemore
Heather and Vanessa exchanged an amused look.
“Did we miss something?” asked Heather.
“We're going to war with Mary Patrick,” I explained.
“Not actual war, right?” V asked, wrinkling her nose. “Because camo is last season.”
“It's not war,” Brooke said, pulling out her notebook. “War implies two sides are fighting.”
Heather nodded. “Glad we're notâ”
“This will be annihilation!” Brooke gave a slightly insane cackle.
“Taking this too far,” Heather finished with a frown. “Why are we going to war exactly?”
Brooke was scribbling a mile a minute on her paper. “Mary Patrick didn't like the idea of us giving gift advice because she thinks we'll do a bad job. We're going to prove her wrong. And since she won't let us affiliate ourselves with the paper, we'll have to advertise in Locker 411.”
She turned her notebook so the rest of us could read it.
Need a gift for your grandma?
Need a present for your parent?
Your esteemed advice columnists Brooke, Heather, Tim, and Vanessa can help!
Drop a note in the advice box to tell us who you're shopping for, and we'll do the rest!
“Not bad,” said Heather, “but if we're not allowed to mention the paper, we probably shouldn't mention we're advice columnists. Or use the advice box.”
“Good catch!” Brooke crossed out
your esteemed advice columnists
and changed
the advice box
to
Locker 411
. “V, will you make this look prettier?” She ripped out the page and handed it over.
The warning bell rang, and students began trickling into the classroom.
“Okay,” said Brooke. “I know Mary Patrick's being a pain, but I really do need to know where
you guys are on this week's advice.”
“Finished,” I said, handing over a sheet of notebook paper.
“Me too,” Heather said, searching through her binder.
“Here's mine,” said Vanessa. She pushed a paper across the desk while she finished coloring in the flyer.
“Aw, man!” Brooke collected them all. “I'm the last one again.”
Her phone buzzed and rattled on the table. She frowned at the screen. “I got a new email from . . . I don't know who.”
She held up the phone so we could all see.
The subject line simply said, “Twinkletoes.” My stomach turned over.
Brooke clicked on the message. “Looks like someone sent me a video link. Should I open it?”
“No,” I said in a horrified whisper.
But Brooke didn't hear me. A second later,
a tambourine rattled and a woman sang, “I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!”
“What . . .” Brooke's face broke into a grin, and she started to giggle. “Oh my God. You guys have to check this out.” She held her phone up so we could all see.
Heather and Vanessa started laughing at the antics of the guy on-screen. He was prancing about in a billowy white skirt, white tights, and shoes with pompoms on the toes. His face was blurred out, but I knew instantly who it was.
Me.
T
he video was slowed down and sped up in just the right places so it synced perfectly with the music. Dancing Me even paused in front of a studio mirror just as the woman sang, “See the pretty girl in that mirror there?”
My friends were practically doubled over with laughter.
I shrunk down a little in my chair. If I stayed quiet, maybe they wouldn't notice.
“I wish his face wasn't blurred out,” said Brooke. “I wonder if he's singing along.”
“Wait a minute.” Vanessa plucked the phone from Brooke's hand.
Uh-oh.
“I've seen this outfit before.” V paused the video and stared at the screen.
Leave it to our fashion expert to recognize my costume.
A second later, she gasped and looked at me. “You!”
“Shhh!” I put a hand over her mouth. “Nobody else knows.”
“Knows what?” Heather asked, wrinkling her forehead.
“Hold up.” Brooke took back her phone and gawked at the image. Then at me. “No way!”
“Oh!” Heather's eyes grew wide as realization sunk in. “Why did you post this video online where anyone could see it?”
“And someone clearly has, judging from that email,” added Vanessa.
I gawked at both of them. “You really thinkâ”
“Shhh!” Mary Patrick gave us a stern look.
I lowered my voice and my entire body closer to the desk. “You really think I'd post a video of myself dancing to âI Feel Pretty'?”
Brooke let out a laugh but quickly stifled it when she saw the murderous look on my face. “Sorry. But you did look pretty.”
Vanessa snorted and Heather looked away, but I could see the smile tugging at Heather's mouth.
“Congratulations,” I said, scowling. “You've all gone from getting jars of peanut butter for Christmas to getting jars of
nothing
.”
“Oh, come on.” Brooke squeezed my arm. “You can't even tell who it is.”
“If you didn't post it, do you know who did?” asked Heather.
The last thing I needed was my friends confronting Ryan and making things worse. The
other guys in school would think I couldn't fight my own battles.
“No,” I said. “But I hope no one elseâ”
I didn't even get a chance to voice my hope before it was dashed. From across the room, I heard . . .
“I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!”
Followed by . . .
“Ba ha, ha, ha!”
Everyone in class glanced over to where Stefan Marshall was sitting, one hand holding his phone, the other wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.
“Phone away before I take it away,” Mrs. H warned him.
“But, Mrs. H, you gotta see this video someone just emailed me.” Stefan held up his phone, and several people crowded around.
The laughter grew louder.
“Dude, send that to me,” said Felix, a guy who
wrote for the front page.
The front page.
“Please no,” I mumbled.
“Oh wait, never mind,” said Felix. “I got it in my email too.” He stared at the screen. “Aw, man! Looks like the whole school did. So much for a front-page scoop.”
“What?” I started to stand, but Brooke immediately pulled me down.
“Be cool!” she whispered.
It didn't matter. Nobody was paying attention to me. Well, not the real me, anyway. They were too fixated on Dancing Me. Even Mary Patrick and Mrs. H.
Different snippets of “I Feel Pretty” filled the air, along with giggles and groans at my dance moves.
“What a dork!” someone said.
“Who is it?” someone else asked. “The email said it's someone at this school!”
“I'm sure he'll be easy to spot,” said Stefan. “Just play this song and see who leaps down the hall.”
Several people laughed.
“I actually like it,” said Mrs. H. “If you take the music away, it's rather impressive.”
“I think so too,” spoke up Mary Patrick. Then her voice started to get louder. “WHOEVER THIS IS”âshe glanced our way, and Vanessa gave the slightest shake of her headâ“must have trained very hard,” she finished in a softer voice.
“Yeah, and he's got some serious muscles,” said another girl.
“I wish we could see his face.” The girl in charge of the clubs section giggled. “I'll bet he's cute.”
I should've been flattered and happy that at least I had some teacher and classmate support, but the guys wouldn't stop jeering and laughing at the video.
“Does the circus still accept runaways?” I muttered to my friends.
“We need to get to the bottom of who shared this,” said Brooke. “It's got to be one of those sports goons who are always picking on you in gym.”
Heather and Vanessa nodded their agreement.
“No.” I shook my head. “No way. I don't want to draw attention to myself. If whoever did this finds out I'm on to him . . . or her,” I hastily added, “they'll tell everyone the truth. I'll handle it myself.”
Before Brooke could answer, Gil strolled over, grinning. “Did you guys see that video?”
A twinge of irritation sprung up inside me. Yeah, he didn't know it was me in the video, but he still shouldn't be laughing at someone just for dancing.
Then suddenly Brooke was laughing too.
“Ha, ha, ha! Lame, right? We all got a good laugh, didn't we?” She looked to the rest of us with an insistent smile.
Best way to go unnoticed: be one of the crowd.
I forced a laugh of my own. “Yep. And that music! You'd think he would've picked something better, like Beethâ OW!”
Underneath the desk someone stomped on my foot. Judging by the weight of it, I guessed it was Vanessa, who was wearing chunky boots.
She giggled up at Gil. “Hilarious!”
Heather smiled and said, “I know it's mean to laugh at someone who obviously takes his craft seriously, but the way it's presented is pretty funny.”
Only my tenderhearted friend could make a jab sound like an apology.
My phone vibrated again.
Everyone's laughing about you. Fun, isn't it? Unless you want them laughing AT you, meet me under the clock in the main hall when the bell rings.
I squeezed my phone so hard I was afraid it might shatter.
Vanessa bumped my arm. “Right, Tim?”
I lowered my phone and looked up. “Huh?”
“I was saying the guy in this video probably doesn't really go to our school,” she repeated.
“Oh.” I nodded. “Yeah, I'm sure whoever sent this found it on the internet.”
“I don't think so,” chimed in Stefan. “It has an original posting date of twelve thirty p.m. today. That's a minute before I received it.” He smiled. “Hey, I could be the first person in school to see a video that goes viral!”
Brooke held up a hand. “But Iâ”
“Yep!” I interrupted. “Stefan, you're the first. Congrats, bro.”
“Thanks, man.” He took a deep breath and sighed contentedly. “I should talk to Felix about getting this on the front page!” Stefan tapped Gil on the chest. “You can take my photo for it!”
The two of them walked off, and I relaxed my body. Brooke pointed to herself.
“But I was the first person to see the video.”
“
We
know that.” I gestured around the square of desks. “But if anyone else knew, they'd wonder why you didn't say anything, like Stefan did. They'd wonder if you were protecting whoever was in the video.”
Brooke sighed. “Yeah, I see your point.”
Heather bumped her. “Cheer up. Do you really want your fifteen minutes of fame to be that you were the first to see a silly dance video?” She widened her eyes and reached for my arm. “No offense.”
It took several minutes for Mrs. H to regain control of the classroom, and when she finally
did, it was agreed that the dance clip should get a mention in Monday's issue as part of a piece on how videos go viral.
Great.
After that, it was business as usual, with updates from the different sections and small group work. I must've had a look on my face that said I didn't want to talk because the girls all worked quietly on answering their advice questions.
When the bell rang I grabbed my bag and hurried out the door, making a beeline for the clock in the main hall. Ryan was already there, leaning against the wall with a cocky smirk on his punchable face.
“Well, well. If it isn't the video star,” he said.
“Shh!” I ducked and looked around to see if anyone had heard. “How did you even get that footage, anyway?”
“My aunt and I were walking into the store
next to the dance building when I saw you going in. Or rather . . . running in with your bag by your head. You don't like people knowing you dance, do you?”
“It's none of their business,” I said.
“I get that.” Ryan reached into his back pocket. “So here's what's going to happen if you want it to stay none of their business.”
He handed me a folded sheet of paper.
“What's this?” I unfolded it.
“Just a few tasks I need you to complete,” said Ryan. “You know . . . if you want your identity to remain a secret. I still have the original, unblurred version of that video.”
I stared at him, dumbfounded. “You're blackmailing me?”
He made a face. “Blackmail is such an ugly word. Let's call it . . . an agreement between friends.”
“You're not my friend; you're disgusting.” My
fists clenched, the paper he handed me crumpling in one of them.
“Oh, careful with that,” he said, pointing to the list. “That's your only copy.”
Taking a deep steadying breath, I unfolded it and read the contents:
Shovel my sidewalk
Clean my room
Do my homework
Get me into Berkeley's party
Get Lisa Wheeler to go out with me
I lowered the paper. “So basically I'm your servant,” I said flatly.
“And matchmaker,” he added, indicating the item about Lisa Wheeler.
“She'll never go out with you,” I said, shaking my head. “You call her Lisa Wheezer,
and
she's out of your league.”
Ryan pressed his lips together and took the list from me. Pulling out a pen, he scratched out the last task and scribbled something below it. “Fixed.”
Make me the coolest guy in sixth grade
“I didn't put âin the whole school' because I know there are some unbeatables,” he said.
“How humble of you,” I said, balling up the paper and shoving it into his chest. “But you can forget it.”
Instead of responding, Ryan tapped the shoulder of a guy walking past with some of his buddies. When he stopped and turned, they all did.
I had a sinking feeling in my stomach.
“Tim, what's up?” The guy, Mitchell, gave me a nod, ignoring Ryan. I knew Mitchell from math class, although I hadn't expected him to
know who
I
was. While I got a tiny flicker of joy from that fact, it was quickly snuffed out by the look on Ryan's face. Clearly, he didn't enjoy being ignored.
“Have you seen the video going around this afternoon?” Ryan asked the group.
Mitchell shook his head. “Video?”
Ryan pulled out his phone, video already loaded, and pressed play.
The guys all gathered to see and hear it better, and after a few seconds my performance was met with laughter once again. Heat surged into my face and ears.
“Know what's even funnier?” Ryan stared at me while they continued to watch. “It's someone at this school.”
“For real?” One of the guys took Ryan's phone from him. “Who is this dork?”
More enemies. Yay.
Before he could answer, I cut in. “We haven't figured it out yet,” I said.
Mitchell elbowed me. “If you do, let me know.”
He sauntered away with his buddies, and Ryan handed me the crumpled chore list.
“Enjoy the rest of your afternoon. You can shovel the walk and clean my room tomorrow morning. I'll text you my address.”
Without a word, I took the list.
At least it was short.
The warning bell rang, and both Ryan and I walked into our history classroom. Berkeley looked up and waved me over.
“Hey! Did you get my message about the party? Can you make it?”
“Yep,” I said. “I'm there.”
“Awesome.” He gave me a thumbs-up. “I really want you to meet Alistair.”
“Me?” I couldn't help smiling. “Really?”
“Yeah, dude. I think he'd like you. You're pretty cool.”
I stood a little taller. “Thanks!”
He chuckled to himself. “The way you shut Ryan up? Awesome.”
“Oh.” My hands went into my pockets, the list of chores brushing against my fingertips. “Listen . . . about Ryan. I've been talking to the guy, and I think he's just misunderstood.” I leaned closer. “You know, trying too hard just to get attention. He could really use some friends.”
Berkeley winced. “Yikes. Good luck with that plan.”
I pressed my lips together. “Actually, I was hoping you could help me. Do you think he could maybe come to your party?”
“Aw, dude, I don't know . . .”
“What if I promised he'd be on his best behavior?” I added. “I could spruce him up and
teach him some manners.”
Berkeley sighed and rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah, okay.” He looked up at me. “But the second he gets annoying . . .”
“He won't,” I promised, crossing my heart. “Thanks.”
“Students, to your seats!” called Mr. E.
There was a commotion of shuffling and chairs sliding across the floor as everyone sat.
“Thanks again,” I whispered to Berkeley, heading to my own desk. While Mr. E started the lesson, I pulled out the chore list and scratched off
Get me into Berkeley's party
.