The Secrets of Mia Danvers (16 page)

“She is no longer the daughter of an earl. That title passed on to someone else when he died. She is a girl without a name, without a family. She is utterly on her own.”

“Precisely the reason why
we
are providing her with a safe place to live,” he said. He made a nonsensical note in his ledger.

“Have we not done that with that cottage? She has lived there for years and has never once offered so much as a pence for rent.” She came to her feet then. Though she was not an overly tall woman, he knew there were plenty in proper Society that found his mother a force to reckon with. “We give her charity and now she has convinced you to allow her to live in our home? I have never heard of such a thing.”

“She did not convince me of anything, Mother. I invited both of them after Miss Webster’s injury. Not to mention the fact that their cottage is not too far from where the murder occurred. They could have been in danger,” Alex said. He didn’t owe her an explanation. He was the bloody Duke and he’d do however he pleased. He didn’t have to answer to anyone save Queen Victoria herself.

“It will be utterly scandalous. How are you to marry Juliet if you have a woman sleeping in the adjoining quarters to your bedchamber? A room set aside for your wife, I might point out.”

The men in his family had made sport of scandals and he’d be damned if he’d be chastised for simply trying to protect someone from harm. He opened his mouth to argue the point, but she spoke before he could.

“You’ve gone and made her your mistress, haven’t you?” she asked.

“Not that it is any of your business,” he said, careful to keep his tone even, “but no, I have not.” He wanted so much to tell her that he’d gone as far as asking Mia to be his wife, but he knew that would probably send his mother into a fit of the vapors that would no doubt require a doctor to pull her out of.

She eyed him, not speaking for several moments, as if trying to ascertain whether or not he spoke the truth. “Truth or not, it is what everyone will believe and it is unthinkable, Alex. I will not allow it.” She crossed her arms over her ample bosom and glared at him.

As a child, that had been the expression that had cowed him into submission, made him the dutiful boy he’d always been. Always the one to do the right thing, follow orders, be responsible. Well, this time would be no different. He was doing the right thing and protecting Mia regardless of the potential scandal or how it made his mother feel.

It was Alex’s turn to come to his feet. “First of all, you don’t have to allow it.” He stepped around the desk. Instead of standing head and shoulders above her, he leaned against his desk. “This is
my
home.
You
do not make decisions for me or give orders to anyone unless I approve.” That earned him a shocked and appalled expression. “Secondly, Miss Danvers is not my mistress. She is a woman in need of some protection and it is my choice to provide that. I will not take kindly to anyone—anyone, Mother—treating her with anything but respect and kindness.”

“I have never been spoken to in such a fashion. You should be ashamed of yourself, Alex.”

“Perhaps it’s time for some fresh air, Mother. I hear the estate in Derbyshire is in need of some repairs. Perhaps you’d enjoy a visit there to oversee that project. I could have a coach ready for your departure in the morning. First thing.” He’d never spoken to his mother in such a fashion. He’d certainly wanted to, on more than one occasion, but felt it would serve no purpose. But today he could take her snide attitude no longer.

Her eyes first rounded in surprise then narrowed. “You think to send me out of London to some faraway hovel? I will not be banished by my own son.”

“Then behave yourself, Mother. She is our guest.” With that, he walked back around and sat at his desk. He returned to his ledgers, though he made no calculations. He couldn’t help but wonder if his own outburst was truly about his mother’s nasty attitude or if he was feeling more than simple protectiveness toward Mia.

She released a loud puff of air and turned on her heel and walked out.

Alex, in spite of the scenario, smiled.

***

Edward had thought of little else since he’d seen and spoken to Rachel. Of course the conversation he’d had with Alex shortly thereafter had been uncomfortable. Drew was obviously into some sort of trouble. But that was not what occupied Edward’s thoughts as he rode home. Rachel, beautiful, sweet and lovely Rachel. Damnation, he thought he’d forgotten her. He certainly had bedded enough women in an attempt to do so.

It had been a long time since he’d stood in the rain and given her his heart, which she had, in turn, coolly rejected. He’d sworn that day that he’d never love another woman and he’d kept faithful to that vow. He’d not sworn off women, though; quite the contrary, he’d made it his duty to be around as many as he could, daring any of them to tempt his heart.

But none of them had.

And then there she’d stood in her pale green gown with its worn hem and faded calico print. He’d wanted to do nothing more than pull her close to him and kiss her until every day they’d spent apart faded from his mind. But he wouldn’t allow her to hurt him again. It was impossible. She’d removed his heart that day and he knew precisely how to be the cold gentleman.

He’d had years to practice, after all. Every woman he’d kissed, every woman he’d touched, he’d imagined her. Every time he’d expected her image to fade, but as if her face had been branded upon his eyes, she was all he ever saw. Well, enough was enough. She had tormented him for years and now it was time for him to repay the favor, as it were.

He’d seduce her. Make her beg him to bed her. He’d touch her body, kiss her, then he’d walk away, leaving her to miss him.

Chapter Sixteen

Alex stood in the ballroom, drink in hand.

“If you keep scowling in such a manner, you’ll have your selection of beauties,” Edward said. “Woman cannot resist a brooding duke. Not to mention you’re beginning to look like the other Carrington brother.”

“Go to the devil, Fairbanks.” Alex downed his drink and dropped the glass onto a footman’s tray as he walked by.

“What has you in such a foul mood this evening?” Edward asked.

Alex exhaled slowly, annoyed his friend had noticed. Frankly, he hadn’t started the evening feeling this way. His confrontation with his mother had only reinforced his belief that he was doing the right thing where Mia was concerned. He’d known it was wrong to propose to Mia, but he wanted her. The desire he felt for her was tormenting him. But she had declined and now he had to accept it was time to formalize the arrangements with Juliet. His desire for Mia need not interfere with that.

He’d left Mia in the capable hands of two footmen who were guarding her every move. Still he longed to be there instead, making certain she was safe. But he had his social responsibilities to attend to this evening, and as soon as he’d arrived, he had marked his name down twice on Juliet’s dance card, and once on a handful of other women’s. Then he’d stood at the edge of the ballroom and watched the display before him. Both of Mia’s sisters were here and the only pleasure he’d had was seeing them both cringe when he’d walked in. Their concerned eyes followed him. They were worried he would make a scene, call them out here in front of everyone in Society. He considered it. But it would solve nothing. And one foolish move could increase the danger Mia was already in.

Still he couldn’t help but wish she were here. That she’d had the same opportunities as the rest of these women. That she had lovely dresses made of soft and luxurious fabrics. That she had a line of men waiting to dance with her and bring her lemonade. Yet she was in hiding while everyone in the room believed her to be dead. Everyone save himself and her two selfish sisters.

“Seriously, Alex, I think you just made that girl cry. If you’re going to glare, perhaps you should aim your vitriol in my direction. I don’t find you the least bit frightening,” Edward said. Though his tone was light, there was something decidedly more sinister about Edward tonight. It was on Alex’s tongue to inquire from his friend about the previous relationship he’d had with Rachel, but the band started to play.

“I believe this dance is for Juliet,” Alex said.

“A waltz. So you truly are going to propose to that girl?” Edward asked.

“We all have to marry sometime, old man.” With that, Alex left his friend standing there while he walked over to where Juliet stood with her mother and a handful of other women. “Miss Beckinsale, I believe this is our dance,” he said.

She allowed him to take her arm as he led her onto the ballroom floor. He swept her into the waltz. He couldn’t help but notice the difference in her petite frame and Mia’s taller one.

“You look lovely this evening,” he said. His words were polite and even true, but sounded stiff and bordering on insincerity. She was very pretty, anyone could see that with her pale blond hair wound into a series of tight curls atop her head and her warm brown eyes. Yet he seemed unmoved by her gracefulness or fair complexion.

“Thank you, Your Grace, you look very handsome as well,” she said. “Perhaps you would enjoy a brief walk after our dance?”

Admittedly he was somewhat shocked by her proposal. It was innocent enough, there were plenty of safe places where they could walk without putting her reputation in danger. If he was serious about pursuing her for his duchess this was something he should do. Something he should want to do.

“Sounds lovely,” he managed. Perhaps having a conversation with her outside the confines of the ballroom would prove interesting.

Their dance ended and as planned he led her, her elbow resting in his hand, to the balcony. It was well lit, bathed in light from hundreds of candles. She looked beautiful standing amidst a rose topiary with her fair hair shimmering in the soft light. Yet he found himself unmoved by her.

For a moment he tried imagining what it would be like to kiss her—if he were to pull her into a darkened corner and press her against the balcony rail and kiss her with all the passion he could muster. He released a low breath. Nothing. Even the thought of such a scandalous embrace left him feeling nothing.

“Your Grace, I have heard you enjoy the opera,” she said, her soft voice interrupting his inappropriate, yet benign thoughts.

“I do have a fondness for the opera,” he said. He briefly wondered how she would know such a thing about him, but no doubt his mother was responsible. Her whispers through the crowds were quite effective. “And you, Miss Beckinsale, are you an enthusiast?”

“Oh, yes, I find music a most effective form of communication,” she said. He could have sworn she opened her mouth to say more, then settled for a sweet smile.

He sensed there was more there, more to be said about how she felt about music. Perhaps there was passion in this proper girl. But was he not courting her because she was so proper? Was that not his main intention, to select a girl who would be the perfect duchess? Why, then, was he desperate for her to reveal something hinting at a real personality, at someone inside who had her own opinions and own ideas?

“Do you play?” he asked.

“I beg your pardon?” Her eyes rounded.

“Instruments. Do you play any instruments?”

She smiled. “Oh, well, yes, I play the piano.”

“Are you any good?” he asked.

“It isn’t for me to say, Your Grace. It would be unbecoming of me to discuss my skill, or lack thereof.” She placed her gloved hands on the railing. They were nice gloves, quality material and fit her hands perfectly, accenting her thin fingers. And no doubt they provided a modicum of warmth for her.

Mia needed gloves. Tomorrow he would buy her some. Perhaps a pair in every color and style so she could have her pick. He mentally shook himself. Now was not the time for him to be considering another woman. He was supposed to be focused on his future duchess.

“Suppose I won’t find it unbecoming. Would you answer the question then?” he asked.

She considered him for a moment, but shook her head. “It would not be proper. Ladies should never be braggarts.”

“Then you are talented,” he said.

“I never said as much,” she said, her tone even. She stared out into the yards below the balcony. A path wound through the gardens, then darkened, allowing some reckless couples privacy for trysts.

It was amusing to him that a society who claimed to truly be scandalized by people’s behavior seemed to do everything they could to create perfect scenarios for said behavior. And then the rest of them would stand around and discuss the carnage. If one considered it, it truly wasn’t much different than the Romans and their Coliseum. Perhaps this was less bloody.

“Beethoven or Mozart?” he asked. He seemed determined now to get her to speak her mind about something. To say something that was truly her and not merely according to custom.

“Beethoven is my personal preference, but Mozart is perhaps more talented,” she said. “I simply have an affinity for Beethoven’s pieces.”

“Wouldn’t you agree, though, that Beethoven’s fifth symphony is a rather pounding piece of music? Almost crudely so,” Alex said.

He saw it, the brief flicker of anger before she schooled her features and once again became the placid beauty she was trained to be. She had not agreed with him. Not only that, but she had been angry with his assessment. What would it take to push her to the limit where she snapped? Where she told him precisely what she thought?

“He was mourning when he composed that piece, Your Grace. Mourning the loss of his own hearing, which certainly was the greatest of deaths for a man who so loved music,” she said politely.

Hell, he knew that and he actually favored Beethoven as well and didn’t agree with the remarks he made, but knew it was a popular sentiment. Granted, he should not be so inclined to push a lady to do anything she was uncomfortable doing. Still the desire to know Miss Beckinsale’s personality beneath her layers of propriety, well, he couldn’t deny that he was curious. Perhaps once in the safety of their marriage she would lower her restraints, at least with him.

Though he doubted as much. Juliet Beckinsale was much like a lovely doll. Designed to be pretty and delicate, not really created to offer much more than aesthetic pleasure. Though he knew that’s what he should want from a wife, the thought of living with such a creature for the rest of his days left him feeling hollow.

And all he could think about was getting home to Mia. Saying all the same things to her and then hearing precisely what she thought on the matter. Agree with him or not, she’d tell him.

Craving her body was one thing. He could manage the lust. But craving her opinion and defiance was inexplicable and bordered too closely on wanting her companionship. That was dangerous territory indeed.

***

Alex had been quite thorough in ensuring that Rachel followed the doctor’s instructions of getting plenty of rest while elevating her ankle. They had spent the morning reading and conversing and having a rather lovely time. It had been a much-needed diversion from the myriad of thoughts that had consumed her mind since Alex’s impromptu proposal. But then the footmen had come in to retrieve Rachel for her rest. So it was in the sitting room having just been left alone that Mia’s sanctuary was breached.

“Look at you, sitting there all proper as if you belong in this room, in this house,” the woman’s words came from the area of the door, but Mia needed no introduction, she knew precisely who spoke. Alex’s mother was a formidable woman, but Mia had been through too much in her life to fear her.

“I am but a guest in the house,” Mia said stiffly. She would rather not fall into a confrontation with the woman; she knew Alex’s mother did not care for her, though the reasons were a mystery to Mia. “If you need the room, then say the word and I shall find myself another sitting area.” She came to her feet.

“I never said you should leave. Besides, the two of us haven’t had time to speak since you’ve entered my son’s life.” Though her words were harmless, the tone in her voice indicated otherwise.

“I wasn’t aware we had anything which needed discussing,” Mia said. “I believe it was you who told everyone I was mad. Certainly you have no need to have conversation with an insane person.” Mia had tried to be civil. Well, she had intended to be civil in any case, but the woman was cruel and obviously only in here to start an argument. So Mia opted to toss down the first glove, as it were.

“Yes, well, I can see now that I was very wrong on that count.”

For a moment, Mia thought she was going to apologize and she almost felt guilty for speaking out of turn, but that hope died the moment the older woman began to speak.

“You are far too clever, too manipulative to be insane,” she said. “And don’t think, for a moment, that I don’t know what you’re up to.” She jabbed a finger into Mia’s shoulder. “
I
am far too clever for that.”

“I honestly have no notion of what you’re referring to,” Mia said.

“This,” the woman spat. “Here. You were quite smart to convince Alex to allow you to move into Danbridge. And though I will never understand his attraction, you managed to seduce your way into his bed.”

“First and foremost,” Mia interjected, taking a step closer to the woman, “I haven’t seduced Alex anywhere and I do not take kindly to your remarks. Secondly, your son insisted that Rachel and I stay here, though I fought to persuade him otherwise.” Mia took a shaky breath, acknowledging her entire body rocked with anger. She did not owe this woman an explanation, still Mia found herself unwilling to walk away from the confrontation.

“It is most unbecoming to speak to your betters so boldly,” his mother said.

“My betters?” Mia said indignantly. “I do believe that I was actually born the daughter of an earl, whereas you were merely a country baron’s daughter who happened to marry up.” She had forgotten that about Alex’s mother until the moment she’d said the words. Words her own mother had uttered once upon seeing them out on a shopping trip and being snubbed by the duchess.

The older woman sucked in a sharp breath. “How dare you!”

Mia regretted the words even as she had spoken them. Bloodlines and titles meant nothing; she knew that more than anyone. They didn’t save your father from an untimely death, they wouldn’t prevent your mother from deserting you and they most certainly wouldn’t preserve your eyesight in the midst of an accident. Still, she’d known the words would sting and whether Alex’s mother deserved it or not, Mia shouldn’t have spoken out of anger. It was on her lips to apologize, but the older woman spoke first.

“Suffice it to say,” his mother said, “despite my son’s obvious lack of judgment when it comes to you, you will never succeed. No matter how many times you slip into his bed, he will never marry you. He has already selected his future duchess and you will not get in the way of that, you impertinent little snit.” She jammed that finger into Mia’s chest this time. “So dally with him all you want, but know that you will only ever be a light skirt, much like your own mother, I might add.”

Mia could not have been more affected by the woman’s harsh words had she slapped her across the face. Sharp footsteps indicated Alex’s mother had walked away, but Mia still reeled.

What the devil had she meant by calling Mia’s mother a light skirt? Selfish, yes, she would have believed that charge. But Mia had never seen her mother behave anything but properly. If anything, the woman had been obsessed with propriety.

Clearly, Alex’s mother had merely been angry and had lashed out with utter nonsense. As it was, she’d been completely overstating Mia and Alex’s relationship. Mia hadn’t seduced him, though not for lack of trying. But she had no ulterior motives, no great plan to strategically place herself in the way of him marrying someone else. She had merely wanted to experience everything Alex’s kisses promised.