The Selection Stories Collection (56 page)

“America, come here!” Kriss said urgently. Even Celeste turned back smiling, waving me over.

I was a little uneasy about what could be waiting for me, but I walked to the huddle anyway.

“Oh, my goodness!” I squealed.

“I know,” Celeste sighed.

There, running laps in the garden without their shirts on, were half of the guards in the palace. Aspen had told me that all guards got injections to help keep them strong, but apparently they also did a lot of work to keep their bodies in peak condition.

While we were all devoted to Maxon, the sight of cute boys was something we couldn’t ignore.

“The guy with blond hair,” Kriss said. “Well, I think he’s a blond. Their hair is so short!”

“I like this one,” Elise said quietly as another guard ran past our window.

Kriss giggled. “I can’t believe we’re doing this!”

“Oh, oh! That guy, right there with the green eyes,” Celeste said, pointing to Aspen.

Kriss sighed. “I danced with him at Halloween, and he’s as funny as he is good-looking.”

“I danced with him, too,” Celeste bragged. “Easily the most gorgeous guard in the palace.”

I had to laugh a little. I wondered how she would feel if she knew he used to be a Six.

I watched him run and thought about the hundreds of times those arms had embraced me. The distance growing between Aspen and me felt unavoidable, but even now I had to wonder if there was a way to keep some piece of what we had. What if I needed him?

“What about you, America?” Kriss asked.

The only one who really caught my eye was Aspen, and after feeling that ache for him, this felt kind of stupid. I dodged the question.

“I don’t know. They’re all kind of nice.”

“Kind of nice?” Celeste echoed. “You have to be kidding! These are some of the best-looking guys I’ve ever seen.”

“It’s only a bunch of boys without their shirts on,” I countered.

“Yeah, why don’t you enjoy it for a minute before it’s just the three of us you have to look at,” she said snippily.

“Whatever. Maxon looks just as good without his shirt on as any of those guys.”

“What?” Kriss shrieked.

A second after the words slipped out of my mouth, I realized what I’d said. Three sets of eyes focused in on me.

“When were you and Maxon topless, exactly?” Celeste demanded.

“I wasn’t!”

“But he was?” Kriss asked. “Was that what that god-awful dress was about yesterday?”

Celeste gasped. “You slut!”

“Excuse me!” I yelled.

“Well, what else would you expect?” she snapped, crossing her arms. “Unless you want to tell us all what happened and why we’re so wrong.”

But there was no way to explain this. Undressing Maxon hadn’t exactly been a romantic moment, but I couldn’t tell them I’d been tending to wounds on his back specifically delivered by his father. He’d spent his life guarding that secret. If I betrayed him now, it would be the end of us.

“Celeste was half-naked up against him in a hallway!” I accused, pointing a finger at her.

Her mouth popped open. “How did you know?”

“Has everyone been getting naked with Maxon?” Elise asked, horrified.

“We weren’t naked!” I shouted.

“Okay,” Kriss said, putting out her arms. “We need to clear this up. Who has done what with Maxon?”

Everyone was quiet for a moment, not wanting to speak up first.

“I’ve kissed him,” Elise said. “Three times, but that’s it.”

“I haven’t kissed him at all,” Kriss confessed. “But that’s by my own choosing. He would kiss me if I’d let him.”

“Really? Not once?” Celeste asked, shocked.

“Not once.”

“Well, I’ve kissed him plenty.” Celeste flipped her hair, deciding to be proud instead of embarrassed. “The best was in the hallway one night.” She eyed me. “We kept whispering about how exciting it was that we might get caught.”

Finally all eyes were on me. I thought of the king’s words, suggesting that maybe the other girls were being much more promiscuous than I was prepared to be. But now I knew it was one more weapon in his arsenal, a way to make me feel insignificant. I came clean.

“I was Maxon’s first kiss, not Olivia. I didn’t want anyone to know. And we’ve had a few . . . more intimate moments, and one of those times Maxon’s shirt came off.”

“Came off? Like it magically flew over his head?” Celeste pressed.

“He took it off,” I admitted.

Not satisfied, Celeste pushed on. “He took it off or
you
took it off?”

“I guess we both did.”

After a charged moment, Kriss started again. “Okay, so now we all know where we stand.”

“And where is that?” Elise asked.

No one answered.

“I just want to say . . . ,” I started. “All of those moments were really important to me, and I care about Maxon.”

“Are you implying that we don’t?” Celeste barked.

“I know that
you
don’t.”

“How dare you?”

“Celeste, it’s no secret that you want someone with power. I’m willing to bet you like Maxon well enough, but you’re not in love with him. You’re shooting for the crown.”

Without denying it, she turned on Elise. “What about this one? I’ve never seen a speck of emotion out of you!”

“I’m reserved. You should try it sometime,” Elise fired back quickly. Seeing a spark of anger in Elise made me like her more. “In my family, all the marriages are arranged. I knew what was coming for me, and that’s all this is. I may not be head over heels for Maxon, but I respect him. Love can come later.”

Sympathetically, Kriss spoke. “That actually sounds kind of sad, Elise.”

“It’s not. There are bigger things than love.”

We stared at Elise, her words echoing. I fought for my family out of love, and for Aspen, too. And now, though it scared me to think it, I was sure that all my actions where Maxon was concerned—even when they were hopelessly stupid—were driven by that feeling. Still, what if there was something more important here than that?

“Well, I’ll say it: I love him,” Kriss blurted. “I love him, and I want him to marry me.”

Snapped back into the discussion at hand, I ached to melt into the carpet. What had I started?

“All right, America, fess up,” Celeste demanded.

I froze, breathing shallowly. It took me a moment to find the right words.

“Maxon knows how I feel, and that’s all that matters.”

She rolled her eyes at my answer but didn’t press any further. No doubt she was worried I would do the same to her if she did.

We stood there, looking at one another. The Selection had been going on for months, and now we could finally see the real lines of competition. We’d all gotten a peek into everyone else’s relationship with Maxon—at least one aspect of it—and could look at them side by side.

Moments later the queen walked in, wishing us a good morning. After curtsying to her, we all retreated. Into corners, into ourselves. Maybe it was always supposed to come to this. There were four girls and one prince, and three of us would be leaving soon with little more than an interesting story of how we spent our fall.

I
WAS WRINGING MY HANDS
as I paced the downstairs library, trying to put the words together in my head. I knew I needed to explain what had just happened to Maxon before he heard about it from the other girls, but that didn’t mean I was looking forward to the conversation.

“Knock, knock,” he said, coming in. He took in my worried expression. “What’s wrong?”

“Don’t get mad,” I warned as he approached.

His pace slowed, and the concerned look on his face became guarded instead. “I’ll try.”

“The girls know I saw you without your shirt on.” I saw the question coming to his lips. “I didn’t say anything about your back,” I vowed. “I wanted to, because now they just think we were in the middle of some big make-out fest.”

He smiled. “It did end up that way.”

“Don’t joke, Maxon! They hate me right now.”

The light didn’t leave his eyes as he hugged me. “If it’s any consolation, I’m not mad. So long as you kept my secret, I don’t mind. Though I am a little shocked you told them. How did it even come up?”

I buried my head in his chest. “I don’t think I can tell you.”

“Hmm.” His thumb rubbed up and down my back. “I thought we were supposed to be working on our trust.”

“We are. I’m asking you to trust that this will only get worse if I tell you.” Maybe I was wrong, but I was pretty sure confessing to Maxon that we were checking out half-dressed, sweaty guards would get us all into some kind of trouble.

“Okay,” he finally said. “The girls know you’ve seen me partly undressed. Anything else?”

I hesitated. “They know I was your first kiss. And I know everything you have and haven’t done with them.”

He pulled back. “What?”

“After I let the whole shirtless thing slip, there was a lot of finger-pointing, and everyone came clean. I know you’ve spent plenty of time kissing Celeste and that you would have kissed Kriss long before now if she would have let you. It all came out.”

He wiped his hand over his face, taking a few paces as he processed this. “So I have absolutely no privacy anymore? None? Because the four of you had to check scores with each other?” His frustration was clear.

“You know, for someone concerned with honesty, you ought to be grateful.”

He stopped and stared. “I beg your pardon?”

“Everything is out in the open now. We all have a pretty good idea of where we stand, and I, for one, am thankful.”

He rolled his eyes. “Thankful?”

“If you had told me that Celeste and I were at about the same point with you physically, I would never have tried to come on to you like I did last night. Do you know how humiliated I was?”

He scoffed and started pacing again. “Please, America, you’ve said and done so many foolish things, I’m surprised you can even be embarrassed anymore.”

Maybe it was because I had been raised with less of an articulate education, but it took a second for the full impact of his words to hit me. Maxon had always liked me, or so he’d said. I knew it was against the better judgment of other people. Was it also against his?

“I’ll go then,” I said quietly, unable to look him in the eye. “Sorry I let the whole shirt thing out.” I started walking away, feeling so small I wondered if he even noticed.

“Come on, America. I didn’t mean it like—”

“No, it’s fine,” I mumbled. “I’ll watch my words better.”

I made my way upstairs, unsure of whether I wanted Maxon to come after me or not. He didn’t.

When I got to my room, Anne, Mary, and Lucy were in there, changing my sheets and dusting the shelves.

“Hello, my lady,” Anne greeted. “Would you like some tea?”

“No, I’m just going to sit on the balcony for a moment. If any visitors come, tell them I’m resting.”

Anne frowned a bit but nodded. “Of course.”

I spent some time taking in the fresh air, then went over the assigned reading Silvia had prepared for us. I took a short nap and played my violin for a little while. So long as I could avoid the other girls and Maxon, I really didn’t care what I was doing.

With the king away, we were allowed to take our meals in our rooms, so I did. Halfway through my lemon-and-pepper chicken, a knock came at the door. Maybe I was being paranoid, but I was sure it was Maxon. There was no way I could see him right now. I grabbed Mary and Anne and headed to the bathroom.

“Lucy,” I whispered. “Tell him I’m taking a bath.”

“Him? A bath?”

“Yes. Don’t let him in,” I instructed.

“What’s this all about?” Anne asked as I closed the door, pressing my ear up against it.

“Can you hear anything?” I asked.

They both put their ears to the door, too, waiting to see if something intelligible came through.

I heard Lucy’s muffled voice, but then I put my ear to the crack of the door and the following conversation was much clearer.

“She’s in the bath, Your Majesty,” Lucy answered calmly. It
was
Maxon.

“Oh. I was hoping she’d be eating still. I thought maybe I could have my dinner with her.”

“She decided to take a bath before she ate.” There was a tiny waver in her voice, uncomfortable with being dishonest.

Come on, Lucy. Hold it together.

“I see. Well, maybe you could have her send for me when she’s done. I’d like to speak with her.”

“Umm . . . it might be a very long bath, Your Majesty.”

Maxon paused. “Oh. Very well. Then could you please let her know I came by and tell her to send for me if she’d like to talk. Tell her not to worry about the hour; I’ll come.”

“Yes, sir.”

It was quiet for a long time, and I was starting to think he had left.

“Um, thank you,” he said finally. “Good night.”

“Good night, Your Majesty.”

I hid for a few seconds longer to make sure he was gone. When I came out, Lucy was still standing by the door. I looked at all my maids, seeing the questions in their eyes.

“I just want to be alone tonight,” I said vaguely. “In fact, I think I’m ready to wind down. If you could take my dinner tray, I’m going to get ready for bed.”

“Do you want one of us to stay?” Mary asked. “In case you decide to send for the prince?”

I could see the hope in their eyes, but I had to let them down.

“No, I just need some rest. I’ll see Maxon in the morning.”

It was strange tucking myself into bed, knowing something was hanging between Maxon and me, but I didn’t know how to talk to him right now. It didn’t make sense. We’d already been through so many ups and downs together, so many attempts to make this relationship real; but it was clear that if that was going to happen, we still had a very long way to go.

I was gruffly awoken before dawn. The light from the hallway flooded my room, and I rubbed my eyes as a guard entered.

“Lady America, wake up, please,” he said.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, yawning.

“There’s an emergency. We need you downstairs.”

At once my blood turned cold. My family was dead; I knew it. We’d sent guards; we’d warned those at home this was possible, but the rebels were too much. The same thing had happened to Natalie. She left the Selection an only child after the rebels killed her little sister. None of our families was safe anymore.