“Be here in a minute. Can I get you a coffee or water?”
“No thanks, I’m fine.” She tightened her hand on her purse. “Mr. Raines found me while I was shooting yesterday.”
A muscle tensed in his jaw. He wasn’t sure what pissed him off more: Raines’s silence or her ignoring his command to stay away from the crime scene. “You were at a crime scene?”
Blue eyes flashed. “That’s not the point.”
“It is the point. I thought you agreed not to go to the scenes alone right now.”
“You told me not to. I didn’t agree. And again, this line of questioning is about Raines.” Her tone, peppered with sass, told him she wanted a fight.
He’d not give her one today. He needed her on his side. “He’s an asset.”
“I don’t like him.”
He spoke carefully. “I told you from the get-go that I would do whatever it took to catch this killer, Ms. Church. If that means working with Raines then so be it.” To shift the conversation, he said, “What reaction have you had to the article?”
“My answering machine is full of calls regarding it. The messages are mostly from old friends and acquaintances digging for dirt. Reporters.”
For a moment he was silent. “No one that gave you the creeps?”
She sat straighter. “Lots of nosy, goofy people, but no one that set off alarm bells.”
“Where’s Lincoln?”
The conversation shift had her relaxing a fraction. “I dropped him at the gallery. Cassidy is not thrilled, but she’s dealing, seeing as I’m turning into a moneymaker for her.”
“You’re selling prints?”
Amazed pride strengthened the tone of her voice. “Four since the article came out. And a large online order.”
“Do you know what pieces sold?”
“I didn’t ask. I was too stunned that any sold.”
“Let me know when you find out. I want to know which of your crime scenes are catching folks’ attention.”
Color drained from her face as if she fully understood the meaning behind his questions. “Do you think he’d buy one of my prints?”
“What better memento of a crime than a print created by one of the victims?”
Her voice lost its edge. “I didn’t think about that.”
Before he could respond there was a soft rap on the door, and they turned to see Dr. Granger. She wore a dark blue skirt, a white shirt, and sensible heels. Red hair twisted into a ponytail and dark-framed glasses emphasized green eyes. “Gentlemen, to what do I owe the honor?”
“I was hoping you could help me to remember,” Lara said.
Beck stood beside Lara. “Dr. Granger, I’d like you to meet Lara Church. I mentioned her to you earlier.”
Dr. Granger crossed the room and extended her hand to Lara. “It’s nice to meet you. I read the article in the Sunday paper and some of the case files.”
Lara cleared her throat. “My life is an open book.”
Dr. Granger shook her head. “The facts are helpful, but they don’t tell the whole story.”
“Everyone thinks key pieces are in my head.” Lara moistened her lips. “I can’t promise, but I want to try to remember.”
“Excellent,” Dr. Granger said. “We can do it now if you wish.”
Lara nibbled her bottom lip. “Better now before I lose my nerve.”
Dr. Granger knit long, slender fingers together at her waist. “Gentlemen, Ms. Church and I can go back to my office, or we can talk here. Either way you two need to leave.”
“Santos and I would like to observe,” Beck said.
“No,” Dr. Granger said. “This doesn’t work so well given Ms. Church’s history with the police and psychiatrists.”
Lara lifted her chin. “You’ll tape whatever I say, right?”
“Yes.”
“Then they’ll hear it anyway. They might as well stay. Like I said, my life is an open book.”
“We’ll sit back and out of the way,” Beck said, making an effort to soften his tone.
“Sit anywhere.” She sounded resigned, beaten even.
Santos and Beck moved to seats at the end of the conference table behind her.
Dr. Granger took the seat next to Lara. “You’ve done this before.”
Lara nodded. “Yes, and I remember the drill.” She closed her eyes. “I’m to breathe deeply and clear my head.”
“That’s right, Lara. Just close your eyes and try to relax.” Dr. Granger’s voice took on a relaxing quality that had her muscles easing. “I just want you to let your mind float back to a time when you were truly happy, with no worries in the world.”
At first Lara could not relax her shoulders. And the more she told herself to relax the tenser she became.
“Don’t try so hard,” Dr. Granger said. “May I call you Lara?”
“Sure.”
Dr. Granger laid a steady hand on Lara. “Lara, just think about a happy moment.”
Eyes closed, she shifted in her seat. She took several deep breaths. Her muscles eased, and her fisted fingers unfurled.
“Where are you?” Dr. Granger said.
“I’m in Austin. I’m visiting my grandmother, and I’m hiking in the hills with Rex.”
“Who’s Rex?”
“He’s my grandmother’s dog.”
“What kind of day is it?”
“It’s warm but not hot. There is a breeze, and the sky is crystal clear.”
“Is it just you and Rex?”
“No, I’m with my friend Johnny. Grandmother doesn’t let me hike alone. There was some trouble in the area last fall and she worries.”
“What kind of troubles?”
“She wouldn’t tell me. Only said to be careful.”
Beck scribbled down the dog’s name, Rex, his mind turning to the animal slayings. And he also wrote down the name Johnny.
“Okay. Let’s not worry about the troubles. Walk along the trail with Johnny and Rex. Enjoy the day. Let your mind float and relax. You are safe. Perfectly safe.”
Lara released a sigh and smiled.
“Now I want you to go back to Seattle. What does your last apartment look like?”
“It’s small—a portion of a larger house. It has high ceilings and a fireplace that works. I loved that apartment.”
“And what do you do for a living?”
“I’m an intern to a clothing buyer.”
“Are you good?”
“I’m very good. I’ve just been offered a full-time position in Seattle, and I’ve decided to stay.”
“You weren’t going to stay?”
“If I didn’t get the job I’d promised Grandma I’d come back to Austin and work in her shop.”
“Sounds like life was good.”
Lara’s smile was soft and relaxed in a way he’d never seen before. “It was excellent.”
“When you left your job that final day, where were you going?”
“Out to drink with friends. We were celebrating my job.”
“And where did you go?”
“The marketplace downtown.”
“Were they happy for you?”
She smiled. “They were thrilled.”
“What were you drinking?”
“White wine.” She bit her bottom lip. “I overdid it. I had four glasses. I shouldn’t have had so much to drink. . . .”
“Lara,” Dr. Granger said. “Don’t worry about that now. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were celebrating with friends.” She laid her hand on Lara’s shoulder. “When you left the restaurant where did you go?”
The furrow in Lara’s brow eased but didn’t vanish. “I decided to hail a cab. I knew I couldn’t walk home.”
“What did the outside of the cab look like?”
“Yellow. Standard city cab.”
“What was the inside like?”
“Black. Plain. Spartan. I remember seeing the cabbie’s profile through the partition. I don’t remember him so much. The wine had hit me hard. I remember trying to count out dollar bills when he told me the fare.”
“Did he take the money from your hand?”
She opened her palm. “I don’t remember.”
“Okay. Did you hear anything?”
“Talking. The driver talking.”
“Was he talking to you?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Try to remember if you heard an answer.”
Her fingers curled into tight fists, and for several long seconds she didn’t say anything. “I don’t remember.”
“It’s okay. It’s okay. What do you remember next?”
Beck leaned forward in his seat, his hands clasped tightly.
“The nurse in the emergency room. She was ordering a rape kit.” She was silent for a moment and then a tear slid down her cheek. “I hurt so much. My throat. My insides. It hurt to breathe. I’d never felt that way before.”
A deep, dark rage rose up in Beck. There was nothing he could ever do to prevent that moment she’d endured alone.
Dr. Granger squeezed her hand. “Let’s take a break for a moment, okay?”
Lara swiped away a tear. “Okay.”
“Before, she only remembered her hospital room and not the emergency room,” Beck said. “She’s remembering.” He glanced at Lara. “Let me talk to her.”
The doctor shook her head. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
Beck sensed the fear snapping through Lara and though he saw the necessity of it all, he didn’t like seeing her upset. “We have nothing to lose. Nothing.”
Dr. Granger adjusted her glasses. “She has serious trust issues.”
“Today, she came here to see me, and she allowed me to stay. I might not be as unredeemable in her eyes as you think.”
“Don’t push her too hard.”
“Sure.” But he would push if he believed it would wrestle free the memories. Lara needed to remember not only for the sake of the case, but also for her own sanity.
Beck took the seat beside Lara.
“Lara,” Dr. Granger said. “Sergeant Beck would like to speak with you. Is that all right?”
Her fingers curled into knots again. “Yes.”
Beck nodded to the doctor. “Lara, think back to the cab ride. What did the driver look like?”
“I only saw the back of his head.”
“What color was his hair?”
She pursed her lips. “His hair was blond and thinning. When he turned to ask me where I wanted to go I noticed he had a hooked nose.”
“Good. Good. Do you remember how long you were in the cab?”
“No. I lost track of time.”
“Did you normally drink a lot of wine?”
“No. I’m not a good drinker. But it was a special night.”
“We all like to enjoy ourselves when we’re with friends. Not a bit of harm in that.” He resisted the urge to touch her. “Did you ever lose sight of your drink?”
“What do you mean?”
“Did you set it down and go to the ladies’ room or the dance floor?”
“A couple of times.” His jaw tightened. She’d been found approximately twenty-four hours after she’d gotten into the cab, and it had been several more hours before the hospital had done a tox screen and found the date rape drug. The levels had been low, but there was no telling how much had metabolized out of her system.
“What did the cab smell like?” he said.
“Stale and it was warm. I’d only been in the rain a couple of minutes, and I felt chilled to the bone.”
They spent the next twenty minutes talking. He tried every angle he could consider, hoping for a new scrap of information, but nothing new surfaced.
Finally when the doctor brought her out of her trance, her gaze fluttered open, and she looked at him. “Did anything new come up?”
“Some memories. None that seemed to relate to the case.”
“I’m sorry. I want to help.”
“You gave it your best.”
She sighed. “I can try again.”
Dr. Granger nodded. “I can see you tomorrow or Thursday.”
“Thursday would be best.” She rose and moved to leave.
“We’ll work out the details.”
“Thanks.”
“I’ll walk you out,” Beck said.
She stiffened slightly, glanced toward Santos, who had risen and now stood stone-faced. “That’s not necessary.”
“Exercise will do me good.” He came up beside her. “After you.”
They moved to the elevators and he punched the down button.
“I was hoping this time would be different.”
“We all were.”
The doors opened, and they stepped onto a crowded car of officers. Some glanced at her with curious interest; some checked her out. He hovered close, careful to put his body between her and the other men on the car. When they arrived at the first floor, he followed her past security to her truck. She unlocked it, but he opened the door for her.
“I’m sorry.” She tucked a loose stand of hair behind her ear.
“Nothing to be sorry about.”
“Then why do I feel like such a failure?”
Tension dulled her eyes. “Carry no shame, Ms. Church. You never did anything wrong. Ever.”
“I should remember.”
He offered a smile that he hoped appeared warm. “Keep seeing the doc. It will jog loose.”
“I wish I could believe that.” She started the engine.
“Take care of yourself. Keep your eyes open.”
“I’ll be fine.”
It pained him to see her drive off. She wasn’t safe, but until they got a break in this case or she remembered, there wasn’t much he could do about that.
By ten in the evening Lara was exhausted. She’d been replaying the events of Seattle over and over in her head. She knew there were critical details buried deep, but they remained veiled in shadows.
She climbed into her bed and Lincoln hopped up and settled at the bottom near his blanket. He curled in a ball and released a sigh. She lay back against the pillows, watching the play of shadows on the ceiling.
Outside the wind blew. A familiar branch scraped against the window.
Since she was emotionally drained, it felt good to lie between the sheets and let her mind drift. She wanted to shut out the day and just escape.
He reached for the buttons of her silk blouse and slowly unfastened each. His hands trembled, his touch feather soft. “White will suit you better than black. White makes you look like a goddess.”
A cool breeze brushed her shoulders as he pushed the blouse from her shoulders. “So pretty,” he whispered. “So pretty.”
Her lids felt leaden, and as much as she wanted to open her eyes and look at him she couldn’t manage the task. Her darkness kept tugging at her, beckoning her deeper into unconsciousness. She imagined she was at the bottom of a deep pool glancing up through the water. A man stood above her, his image obscured by the ripples and distortion of the pool’s water.
When a smooth hand cupped her naked breast she moaned, not from pleasure but the horror of knowing what was happening.