The Sex MANual: Uncensored (6 page)

The Lotus involves you sitting upright on the bed or floor with your legs extended out, so your body makes a 90-degree angle. Then, your woman sits on top of you with your body inside of her, with her legs extending out in the other direction. To put this into a visual, when someone would look overhead on you two in this position, you would resemble a lotus flower.

In this position, you are facing her the entire time, which leads to plenty of erotic and slow kissing. You can also kiss her neck, her breasts and look at her body the entire time. This position also offers you the visual of looking at your body entering hers. This position is extremely sensual and very arousing. It is one that you want to use when the mood is just right.

Rick Recommends
– Now this next suggestion isn’t so much a position but rather, something to try. Anal sex is usually pretty taboo in the sex world but it is heading down a path where it is becoming more and more mainstream for many couples. People are learning the proper technique and how to do it in a way that makes it very pleasurable for both the man and the woman.

If you and your woman want to try anal sex the most important thing you need to know is that you need to have lube by the gallons. Lube, lube and more lube should be your motto for anal sex. Since the anus isn’t self-lubricating like the vagina, this means that you need to lubricate it and saliva isn’t going to do the trick. Find a great lube before you even dare to try it. Then you have to worry about getting your woman to agree and warming her up to it with a finger, your tongue or a toy. Take your time with anal and eventually, you and your woman will really see how sexy it can be.

The most important thing to remember when it comes to sex is that you want to make sure that your woman is comfortable and that you are comfortable as well. If something is digging into your body or if something starts to hurt, then back off. Comfort is crucial and without it, you are going to ruin the moment. Don’t let this happen and if are trying a crazy position that is uncomfortable, abort it immediately. Chances are, your girl isn’t going to say something so you will need to.

Remember that at the end of the day, sex should be fun. It is a chance and an opportunity for you and your woman to explore each other. No matter the position that you choose, have fun and savor the moment. Sometimes, sex is going to go wrong and sometimes it isn’t going to be what you expected or wanted it to be. That is okay. Just dust yourself off and get ready for the next time. Don’t let a bad night ruin sex for you and your woman. You should almost expect for it to go poorly sometimes. It just makes those nights and those moments when it is perfect that much more special.

Chapter 9

Every Woman’s Deepest and Darkest Fantasies Revealed

Sexual fantasies are a topic that not too many couples talk about in the bedroom because they are such a sensitive and delicate topic. People don’t want to discuss their fantasies because they have that fear that they are going to offend their partner or change that person’s opinion of them. We keep our fantasies to ourselves because that is what they are intended to be – fantasies. We all have them but we never act upon them or try to get them played out in reality because of that fear.

Every woman has a fantasy in one way or another and it can range anywhere from being a small sex move to being an entire sequence that she wishes would happen one day. No matter how innocent your woman may seem, you have no idea what is going on in that mind of hers and you are dying to know. You want to know what her sexual fantasies are because you want to make them come true. You know that if you are able to do this and that it will solidify your status as being one of the best lovers that she has ever had.

Now that you know how badly you want to make her sexual fantasies come true, there is only one thing standing in your way and that is her. The chance of your woman opening up to you and telling you what she wants the most in the bedroom is probably not going to happen. However, this doesn’t mean that you are totally helpless and out of luck. It only means that you need to change up the approach.

To help you out and to assist you on this journey to satisfying your woman’s deepest and darkest secrets, here is a list of some of the most popular sex fantasies that almost all women have. Guaranteed, you are going to be able to please her in a whole new way by trying one or all of these fantasies on her.

Domination (Her Dominating You)
– We all know how much women love a big strong man in the bedroom but she also wants to have that big strong man on his knees begging for release. It is a natural human desire to be in control and to be the power source, especially in the bedroom. This is usually status that men crave but women definitely crave it as well. If she could have you underneath her, tied up and under her control, even though she is dominating you and satisfying you, you would be surprised at how much this will actually turn her on. Women get more aroused when they are thinking about something and letting their imagination run wild. When she is on top controlling you, she might actually find far more pleasure in that than if she was under your control.

To make this fantasy happen for her, suggest it out of the blue. Say something along the lines of “I want you to be in control tonight” or “I want you to tie me up”. By you suggesting it and offering to be submissive, it gives her control without having to work for it. Then, she will be able to run with it and really make her fantasy come true.

Domination (You Dominating Her
)  - This might be the most popular female fantasy of them all and you are probably wondering why. You probably think that when you get on top of her and thrust into her body by using the missionary position that you are making this fantasy come true, but you are wrong. With you dominating her, it involves so much more than that and you are about to learn what you need to do.

To really make this fantasy come true for her, you need to learn to get back in touch with your masculine, aggressive, animalistic side of your sexuality. Over the years, it has been a natural progression for men to be softer and more sensual in the bedroom. However, your girl wants to see that rough side of you come through. She wants you to run your fingers through her hair and pull on it. She wants you to bite her. She wants you to tear at the clothes from her body. She wants you to pin her down and thrust into her against her will. By doing this and still keeping in touch with that softer side of you in the back of your mind, you can really get your woman going and really make one of her biggest fantasies come true. It’s time to be a man again.

Threesome (With Another Woman)
– Now, more than ever before, straight women are leaning towards having bisexual tendencies and being more attracted to the same sex. There are so many programs on television and so many scenes in movies that depict just this. When women see how tender sex can be with a woman, it makes them want to experience it and feel it for themselves. Not to mention, this is probably one of your biggest fantasies as well so it is a win-win.

The possibility of having a threesome with another woman is probably not as unlikely as you think it might be. If you both can find the right person and one that she can especially trust in that won’t put the moves on you and ruin the experience for her, then you might be good to go. However, you have to lay ground rules and for women, they are usually as follows:

When women fantasize about having a threesome with another woman, they tend to look at the man as a voyeur. She wants you to sit back and watch until she feels comfortable enough to allow you to join in. Then, you are probably only limited to having sex with her rather than touching the other woman. This extinguishes any jealousy that she might feel, which would otherwise ruin the entire experience.

Threesome (With Another Man)
– It is also another fantasy that women have to go the other way with a threesome and be involved with two men. The reasoning behind this threesome is because it makes the woman feel all the more desirable and sexy. To have two heterosexual men who are after her and wanting her, it makes her feel powerful. She wants to have that penetrating feeling from one while she goes down on the other. She feels like she is satisfying two men at one time and that makes her feel a crazy amount of sexual satisfaction.

Let’s face it – this is probably a fantasy that you aren’t going to want to act out anytime soon. A lot of men are uncomfortable with the idea of being naked with another man, even if there is no contact between the two at all. Men are not as comfortable with sexuality as women are, so unless you are, then you will want to avoid this.

Force Fantasies
– As scary and as unsettling as the real thing would be, some women do have fantasies of being forced to have sex. Of course, this has to be done in a tasteful and trusting way. If you go too far with it, then you will breach her trust and that takes a long time to build back up again.

Start slow if you want to test the waters with your woman on this one. Start off ambushing her one night when she is wearing a skirt. Try sliding her panties to one side and going at her that way. Chances are, she will respond well to something as small as that because it goes along with her fantasy of you dominating her. Then, you can take things further.

Bondage
– BDSM or bondage and sadomasochism are becoming way more popular and way more mainstream these days. Couples want to experience with being tied up, flogged, gagged and many other things. Your woman also wants to try some of these things as well from both perspectives. Bondage and BDSM has to do a lot with domination and submission. One of you will be the dom who does the controlling while the other is the sub who takes the punishment. You can easily play this off and then change things up another night. Start slow because being gagged, bound and penetrated might be way too much for her to take right off the bat and then you easily ruin any future experience with one bad one.

Teacher/ Student
– Just as the sexy teacher bad student fantasy is one of yours, it is also one of hers. This is a pretty tame fantasy and one that involves some sexy role playing. This is easily one that you and your woman can make a reality. It is harmless fun and something that you both can enjoy. Seeing her in that sexy pencil skirt, white button down shirt with her lacy bra exposed and her hair up in a bun will not only get your juices flowing, but it will get hers as well. Knowing that you are aroused will really get her going and want her to make this fantasy come true even more.

You can easily suggest this fantasy to your woman to see if she would be game for it. It is harmless, sexy fun and definitely something that she will want to try. Then, not only are you making her fantasy come true, but you are also making one of yours come true at the exact same time.

Sex in Public
– Chances are, your woman has thought about how sexy it would be if you and her were totally getting it on in public and someone was to either walk in and catch you or sit in the distance and watch. Exhibitionism is a massive fantasy for so many men and women. The thrill of potentially being caught might be enough for some people but for some, they love the idea of someone in the distance watching. Women want to live dangerously and this is a big fantasy for a lot of them. Your woman will more than likely be open to the idea of sex in public and might even eventually be the one to suggest it.

To get the ball rolling on this one, try courting her in the car after dinner or wherever you may be. This is public enough to give you the thrill but it is still private enough where she will feel safe and protected. After you get away with it once in an innocent way, then you can work your way up to more dangerous scenarios.

Private Dancer
– It is a fantasy that most women have to be their man’s own private dancer. Women know how much men really enjoying going to the strippers and being teased and taunted by women. Since they are aware of this, they want to have that moment and that power all to themselves. Your woman wants to get in front of you and dance to the point of getting you so hard that you can’t control yourself. Then, she wants to tease you because you aren’t allowed to touch her. She not only gets to feel desirable by moving her body in such a way that totally turns you on but she gets to feel that control in knowing that there is nothing you can do about it.

Keep in mind that these are just fantasies and not sex tips that you need to act upon. If you want to try to make one of these come true for your woman, it might not be as easy as you think it is. Some of the above fantasies are tamer than others but for the hardcore ones, they might always remain just a fantasy and that is okay. The whole point of gaining this knowledge is to help you to become a better lover in the bedroom. You don’t necessarily have to make any of these fantasies come true for your woman but just being aware of them instantly changes how you are in the bedroom and for the better.

Chapter 10

Sex Toys

What to Use and How to Use Them on Her

Sometimes, we just need that extra little source of help in the bedroom to really get a woman going and to really give her that orgasm that she has been waiting for. Since the female body is so intricate and complicated, you are sometimes unable to give her intense pleasure with the usual means of touching, licking or making love. Sometimes, men need a little help to really give a woman intense pleasure and this source of help is found in sex toys.

Sex toys are becoming more and more popular amongst couples in the bedroom, especially with heterosexual couples. Sex toys have always been really prevalent in the gay and lesbian communities but straight couples are using them too. No matter how good you may think you are in the bedroom, there are things that toys can do for your woman that you can’t even come close to.

Since sex toys are so advanced and sometimes better than what men can offer, men want to avoid them because they feel threatened or intimidated. It is possible for a man to feel belittled by some tiny little vibrator because of the power that it possesses for a woman. However, you shouldn’t feel this way because you are missing out on maximizing your woman’s potential. If you can’t get access to every crevice in her body then so what? At least you aren’t ignoring that fact and not doing something about it. By using a sex toy on her, you prove that you are comfortable with it and that you care more about pleasing her than anything else. This shows a woman a lot about the kind of man you are and what your true intentions are. If you were one of those men who only cared about pleasing your woman on your own for some personal sexual gratification, then you are doing it for all of the wrong reasons.

If you are ready and willing, you can introduce some sexy toys into the bedroom and really set your love life on fire. You can easily become the most adventurous and experimental partner that she has ever had and that is something that is worth being known for.

There are many different types of sex toys that all range from ones that stimulate, ones that inflict pain, and ones that are used to bind her. It can be difficult and overwhelming to know what to use, when to use it and how to use it. To help you out, here are a list of some of the most popular sex toys and how they can really enhance your sex life:

Vibrator
– A vibrator is probably one of the most common sex toys that couples can use in the bedroom. It is so versatile and offers so much pleasure to not only her but to you as well. Not only can you get pleasure out of using it on her but you can also get pleasure from her using it on you. Now, that doesn’t mean that anything is going to be entering your body, but she can use it to trace it along your body and maybe even use it down there on you.

To use it on her, you can also trace it along her body until you get between her legs. A woman’s skin is highly sensitive all over her body so not only can a vibrator feel good down there, but it can feel good all over. Of course, to really get her going in the bedroom, you want to use the vibrator between her legs on her clitoris and inside of her on her g-spot. This is one of the staple sex toys that you want to have because you can use it in so many ways. You can use a vibrator as a form of foreplay or you can use it as the main source of stimulation in the bedroom. You can trace it along her clitoris and all over her down there and you can even use it on her anus, but not penetrating it. When she feels the pulse and vibrations, she will be under your control.

Bullet Vibrator
– To get that same effect but to really centralize and focus it, bullet vibrators come in handy. These small devices pack a powerful punch and you can really get her going with one of these. Bullet vibrators are mainly designed for clitoral stimulation and not much else due to their size. However, that doesn’t mean that they are any less effective. By pressing this small device right against her clitoris and slowly moving it all over, you will be in total control of her pleasure and really be able to drive her wild.

Another positive feature about bullet vibrators and their size is that they are portable. You can carry a bullet vibrator in your pocket and use it whenever you get the opportunity to give your woman some pleasure. This can spice up public sex and really get her going in a way that you otherwise wouldn’t have been able to accomplish.

Rick Recommends
– To really amp things up, get a waterproof bullet vibrator that you can use in the shower or in the bathtub. You know how sexy and how good shower sex feels, so imagine if you could spice it up by throwing a toy into the mix. After using a bullet vibrator on your woman in the water, the water won’t be the only thing that gets her really wet.

Dildo
– Dildos and vibrators are very similar but the only difference is that dildos don’t vibrate and they tend to be made out of more flexible material. Dildos bend and move like a real penis does whereas vibrators are pretty rigid and strong. They are primarily used for anal penetration in addition to you stimulating her with your penis. They add a different sensation and dimension for pleasure for your woman.

Rick Recommends
– Strap on dildos are popular among lesbian couples but they can also be really useful for heterosexual couples as well. Having your woman strap on a dildo and give you anal penetration can be a way to change up the power in the bedroom and to experience something new. Of course, this tip isn’t for everyone as most men are uncomfortable with the idea of anal penetration. If you are up for it and willing to experience something new, and extremely pleasurable for men, then try this. You might be surprised how much you enjoy it and how much pleasure it gives your woman also.

Butt Plug
– Although dildos are great for anal penetration when you are preoccupied with pleasing your woman in a more traditional sense, they still take up some of your effort when you could be putting that to good use elsewhere on her body. This is when butt plugs come into handy. They are designed specifically for anal use and they come in all sorts of different shapes and sizes. If you and your woman are just starting to get into anal exploration, a butt plug is a nice step up from using your finger or your tongue.

The best part about using a butt plug is that it stays put while you do other things. For example, if you want to go down on your woman and give her anal stimulation at the same time, you can use a butt plug to give her that stimulation while you stay busy doing other things.

Nipple Clamps
– Did you know that some women are able to orgasm from nipple stimulation in the same way they are able to orgasm from clitoral stimulation? That’s right. Stimulation of a woman’s nipples can result in an orgasm and one that is just as satisfying as the real deal. You can take a traditional route of stimulating her nipples with your mouth and fingers or you can really spice things up and use nipple clamps. For some women, feeling that pain translates into pleasure. Inflicting small amounts of pain on her nipples can result in sending her on a one-way ticket to orgasm heaven.

Start slow and simply clasp the clamp to her nipple. Once she gets adjusted to the sensation, you can begin pulling on them or applying pressure. At first, she might not be able to handle this but after she gets warmed up, you might be able to do a lot more and really give her insane pleasure.

Handcuffs
– Bondage and being in a submissive state is something that we already briefly touched upon earlier but it’s time to kick it up a notch. To go along with the fantasy that your woman has of you dominating her, tying her up and taking away that sense of touch can really get her going. When someone is tied up, they lose that sense of touch so all of their other senses are heightened. When you kiss her, she tastes every flavor. When your tongue traces along her body, she feels it far more than if she was able to touch you back. Every sense is heightened and every touch you give her when she can’t reciprocate drives her wild.

Also when she is tied up, she feels like you are in control and this works well with the fantasy that she has of you taking control of her. Tying her up makes her feel powerless and that turns her on. Of course, a lot of trust is necessary to ensure that this goes well and that it doesn’t end up with her feeling like trust has been breached. Start slow with bondage tools and work your way up.

Blindfold
  - Another popular bondage method is to use a blindfold. In the same way that tying someone up takes away their sense of touch, blindfolding your woman takes away her sense of sight. Now, every single sense is heightened in a much stronger way. She is unable to see where you are going to touch her next or what you are going to do with her in general, so her body is on high alert. This makes her entire body far more sensitive and receptive to everything. Touching her feels stronger and more powerful and penetrating her amps things up even more.

Now that you have taken away her strongest sense possible, you have to obey the rules. You can’t take advantage of your woman in this position because she is extremely vulnerable. Taking your time with her body is necessary when you are in this position. You need to move slowly and not do any sudden movements on her. If you do, she will jump and become frightened, which easily breaks any trust with you. Blindfolding your woman can be really sexy as long as you take things slow and this is a good time for you to practice doing just that.

Ball Gag
– Keeping with the trend of using sex toys as a form of bondage and heightening your woman’s other senses, a ball gag can be an extremely useful tool. By taking away her voice, you take away her biggest power of all. When a woman can’t communicate her desires or her wants, she feels powerless. Now, she has to whine when she wants something or when she wants you to stop. You can make using a ball gag that much more inviting if you pair it with one of her fantasies. Say that your woman wants to feel that forced feeling in the bedroom and that someone is taking advantage of her in a tasteful way. Using a ball gag on her can really take away her power and make her feel something great.

Whip / Flog
– We all know how super sexy spanking can be but imagine spanking on steroids and having that much more power to it. This is when using a whip or flog comes in handy. Using one of these types of bondage sex toys on your woman can really get her going and drive her totally wild. It’s an extreme form of domination or submission. If you have control of the situation and use the whip or flog on her, you put her in place even more and amp up that fantasy that she has. Or you can play things the other way and she can be the one in control who uses it on you. Now, you give her the control and remember how much women love that.

Now, since the bottom has a ton of nerve endings in it and is very sensitive, you have to learn how to spank in the right way. The best way is to use an upward angle. Start at the bottom of the cheek and twist your wrist upwards. You want to “cup” the bum and lightly spank it upwards. That way, you are spreading out the force of the hit rather than directing it onto one certain area. You won’t do any damage and you won’t hurt her.

Another way to make sure that you are performing this the right way is to take a class together. There are so many great classes for couples so you can learn how to excite your sex life even more. Not only will you learn how to satisfy each other better but also you will become closer and learn so much from a class.

Rick Recommends
– Rather than always using these forms of bondage on your woman, let her use them on you as well. Sex toys are effective when used in various settings. Women are often known as being more adventurous and tend to explore more in the bedroom with different toys and you don’t want to become one of those men who isn’t open to exploration. You need to keep a healthy balance of exploration in your relationship and especially in the bedroom or things are going to become extremely routine and very mundane. It’s time that you bucked up and became a trooper in the bedroom. Who knows, maybe you end up really enjoying it and wanting it more.

Keep in mind that that these are just suggestions for you and your woman to try. This chapter was not designed to tell you what to do. At the end of the day, what you and your woman want to do in the bedroom together is your prerogative and yours alone. If you choose to keep things traditional, then that is fine. If you want to spice things up and use some sexy toys, then you are allowed to do that as well. As long as you and your woman are both feeling satisfied and pleased at the end of the night, then that is all that matters.