The Shattered Gates (13 page)

“I know. I’m sorry.” John knew this was all he could say. He couldn’t make himself say that he was wrong.

“So, are you staying out tonight, or are you coming home?” Laurie asked.

“I’m staying out.”

One of the strong points of their friendship had always been that they could be apart for a long time and still remember each other and their fondness. Until now they had never had to test their friendship under the opposite circumstances. Eight months in one tiny shelter was more than some marriages could endure. They needed time apart.

 “Here,” John grabbed the reed basket and handed it to Laurie, “you should have these tonight.”

“Thanks,” Laurie said. She and Bill started back through the trees.

John lay back, concentrating on the feel of the ground beneath him. It didn’t have the strong, rich smell of the earth he was used to. The soil of Basawar seemed emaciated by comparison. It responded to him with eagerness and desperation, rolling up under his fingers, curling close to his body. He traced the slight rise and fall of the earth as if he were stroking the skeletal ribs of a hungry dog. He knew that this was where his sense of reality came from. If he were honest with himself, that was just as absurd as any of Laurie’s beliefs. Still, he felt it so keenly and so very personally that he could neither question this communion nor share it with anyone else. This was his private faith.

Overhead, thin black branches arched up against the pale blue sky. Even on clear days like this one, the skies of Basawar were never bright blue. They, like the soil, were drained, exhausted. They reminded John of the bleached remains of dying corals or of cut flowers, all their vitality and color bleeding away into a vase.

John frowned at his own morbid turn of thought. Bill had been right about his negativity and about his feelings toward Ravishan as well. John did feel a stirring of attraction towards him. But John had no intention of allowing that pang of desire to affect any of their lives. He was just lonely—and Ravishan…

John considered the way Ravishan smiled, how radiant he seemed when they walked together or stood close. In another man, John would have found those glances and smiles flirtatious, but he refused to believe that Ravishan could be knowingly seducing him.

Life in the monastery had deprived Ravishan of normal human affection, and so he probably had no idea how easily his responsiveness to John’s attention could be misconstrued.

But John would never allow himself to cross that line. Never. Not only was Ravishan just a kid, but also far too much depended on his continued generosity to risk alienating him with the complexities of adult desires.

 John closed his eyes, feeling tired of this foreign place.

In his own world, when he felt this miserable, he could lose himself in the richness of the earth. It seemed to nourish him just with a touch. He tried to recapture that sensation. He relaxed and spread his fingers into the ground. A sense of motion rushed over him. He could feel his hands holding the dirt, his back pressed into the ground. But within his mind there came a dreamlike sense of whipping over the ground like a breath of wind.

He rushed out to the east, skipping across the surface of the water. He felt the rending break of the chasm walls as they dropped for miles straight down to a cold, dark ocean. The black walls of the chasm hurt him, like the edges of an open wound.

John flinched from it, and suddenly he was rushing north. He whipped over the soft shoots of grass and grinned as they tickled him. He swept up and dived between the thick stands of trees. Then he seemed to break out into a clearing.

Huge walls, cut from the face of a mountain, stretched up. He rushed over them, sweeping across terraced steps of farmland, bent men and women pushing seeds into the soil, and heavy-coated sheep. He swept over another wall into a maze of cramped, narrow streets. Men on heavy bicycles crowded the thoroughfares, and the scent of cooking fires filled the air. The smell clung to John, and he went higher, rising over hundreds of steep steps that wound up to the peak of the mountain.

With a surge over a last tall, white wall, he dropped down into an open courtyard. Dwarf trees twisted up from alabaster planters. Latticed walls of pale stone wound along pathways. The air smelled of incense and pine.

Without even considering, John knew that he gazed upon Rathal’pesha, the monastery of the white mountain.

A figure in dark gray robes sat beside one of the dwarf pines. The figure looked up, and John saw that it was Ravishan. He smiled and then lowered his head again in prayer.

John felt a deep relief to see that Ravishan had gotten home safely.

Then he opened his eyes and found himself lying on his back, staring into the dark night sky. He must have fallen asleep hours ago, he realized. He’d been dreaming.

John started to rise, but stilled when he heard unfamiliar voices. There were men in the woods, a little to the north of him. John could see them by the light of their fire. Twenty or more, dressed in rust-red coats, armed with rifles. They sat in a circle, a few of them facing out into the darkness, keeping watch.

They were being addressed, it appeared, by a large yellow dog.

To Be Continued…

A short list of Basawar Words and Grammar

and  ---------------iff

animal / it  --------shir

asshole  -----------wahbai

bark (tree) --------istana

bee (honey)  ------behr

best  ---------------sho

black  -------------yasi

blonde hide  ------jahn

blood  -------------usha

blue  -------------- holima

bone  -------------sumah

bones (holy) ------issusha

book --------------lam

brothers ----------ashan

but / however ----hel

chasm  ------------kubo

city  ---------------tamur

cold  --------------polima

dead  --------------maht

deer (mount) ---- tahldi

delicious  ---------mosh

dog (tame) -------kohl

dog (wild)/wolf -- sabir

exhausted --------renma

fast (speed) -------sam

fire  --------------- daru

food  ------- ------nabi (grain)

friend  ------------pashim

from / of  ---------in

fuck  --------------faud

goat  --------------fik

good / pretty  ----domu

grain plant  -------taye

green  -------------ibaye

harm  -------------ratim

hawk  -------------alidas

hill  ---------------rousma

holy  --------------ushmana

hot  ---------------niru

how / because  ---ahab

idiot  --------------bai

joy  ----------------amha

key ----------------hala

key, death-lock ---maht’tu hala

knife --------------halaun

lazy  ---------------pom

little / diminutive ---iri

lock ------------------tu

lost  ------------------gasm’ah

love  -----------------mohim

man/ male  --------- vun

meadow  ------------pivan

meat  ----------------nabi’usha

medicinal tree ------yasistana

monastery  ----------ushmura

money  --------------jiusha

mountain  -----------rathal

no  -------------------iss

noble  ---------------gaun

none  ----------------illin

orchard  -------------umbhra

peace  ---------------tumah

place  ----------------amura

quiet  ----------------itam

rain  -----------------parh

red  ------------------daum

river  ----------------fai

road  ----------------nur

run  -----------------sango

sacred books ------- ushmana’lam

sacred drink  --------fathi

same  ----------------kin

shit  -----------------jid

similar  --------------ro

sky  ------------------loshai

snow ----------------pelima

solitary  -------------jath

speak  ---------------vass

spill  -----------------ra

spoil  ----------------lafi

still  ----------------- tash

stop  -----------------nahara

strike  ---------------bish

terrible  -------------tehji

time / year-----------ayal

to be lost  --------- --gasmya

to drink  ------------siraya

to eat  ----------------nabiya

to harm  -------------ratimya

to kill  ---------------rashiya

tree (fruit) ----------isma

tree bark ------------istana

ugly/ bad  ----------mulhi

unholy /unclean  --korud

water/drink --------sira

weasel  -------------ganal

what  ---------------bati

when  --------------bayal

where  -------------bamura

white  --------------pesha

who  ---------------ban

why  ---------------bahab

wine --------------- vishan

witch  --------------tahjid

woman/ female ---vur

yellow /gold--------jima/ ji

yes  -----------------du

Pronouns

he\ him  -----------vun

his  -----------------vun’um

they(all male) -----vun’im

she/her ------------vur

hers ----------------vur’um

they (all female) ---vur’im

they(mixed) ------ pun’im

theirs --------------pun’um

I/me  ---------------li

mine ---------------li’um

we/us  --------------li’im

ours ----------------lim’un

you  ----------------yura

yours ---------------yura’um

you (plural) ---- ---yura’im

yours (plural) ----- yura’un

it  -------------------shir

it (plural)---------- shir’um

Declensions and Conjugations

positive  --------------  dou

negative  -------------- iss

question  -------------- sa

object of action  ------ hir

source of action ------ ati

one who does--------- hlil

plural  ----------------  im

possessive (singular)- um

possessive (plural) --- un

future tense ----------  ad

past tense  ------------ ah

present tense --------- ya

(Ya literally means ‘to do’ or ‘to be’.)

possible  -------------- at

hoped for (future) --- atdou

hoped against   -------atiss

command form ------ hi

gerund  ---------------yas

adjective --------------an

adverb  ----------------al