The Sheriff and the Baby (15 page)

“What’s the matter?” she asked. “You look so solemn.”

“I’m falling in love with you.”

“Oh, Matt,” she breathed.

“I realize it’s probably too soon for you. I don’t expect
you to feel the same way….” He caught her hand. “I want to marry you. I want us to be a family.” There! He’d said it. He sat back and waited for her reaction.

When she continued to stare at him as if stunned beyond speech, he said, “I’ve scared you, haven’t I?”

“No…I’m just a little bowled over by…what you said.”

He wasn’t usually impulsive. In fact, he was regarded by the family as the least impulsive of all the O’Malleys, yet his feelings for Beth had stirred him to make a rash declaration. If Will only knew, he’d be snorting with glee.

Dreading her answer, in case she thought he was a witless fool for admitting he loved her when they’d met barely a week ago, he nevertheless needed to know. “Good surprise or bad?”

She smiled, and the radiance of it warmed him to his toes. “Nice surprise.”

Matt released his breath, hoping she’d say more. She took her time, as if considering her words. “A
very
nice surprise,” she said.

Feeling he needed to explain himself, he said, “Something happened when I met you. Everything in my training, my instincts, told me to be wary of you, but something kept drawing me back. Being around you and Sarah stirred up feelings in me that were long buried. I felt
compelled
to be with you.”

She raised her eyebrows in query.

“You’re not ready to hear that, are you?”

“Matt…that’s so touching. It seems…out of character for you to admit that.”

“A lot of things I’ve been doing lately are out of character for me.”

“Such as?”

“Putting my job on the line by protecting a supposed fugitive from the LAPD.”

“You don’t believe I am anymore. Do you?” she asked and passed Sarah to him.

“No.” He got out and fastened Sarah securely into her baby seat. “I always felt there was something suspicious about those reports,” he said, then climbed back into the driver’s seat.

“And paying my hospital bill?”

Matt stilled. “Luke told you.”

“As he should. Matt… I don’t know what to say. I intended to pay, when everything was sorted out. I’d thought of paying it in cash with the money from the safety-deposit box, but that would’ve attracted too much attention. Besides, I already need to pay back a few thousand dollars of that.”

She sighed and looked at him, her eyes filled with pain. “Why did you pay my bill?”

“Because it was the right thing to do.”

“You didn’t even know me!”

“I knew you were afraid of something—and I figured you had a good reason for running away. I thought maybe there was an abusive husband in the picture, but when I did the check on your license and found out about…Marcus, my fears about that were allayed.”

“But before that, you knew nothing about me. Yet you paid my bill.” She shook her head. “I don’t know what to say,” she repeated.

“You don’t have to say anything. I didn’t want you facing charges in Peaks County for skipping out on your hospital bill.” He shrugged. “I had the money. It’s no big deal.”

“It
is
a big deal. And I’ll repay you just as soon as I can. I have insurance, but I couldn’t use my real name at the hospital.”

Matt covered her hand. “I know all that. I’m a cop, remember? I can tell the real criminals from the fake
ones, and your story stank worse than last Friday’s fish dinner!”

Beth laughed and said, “Thank you for saving me from the clutches of the county law.” Then she grew serious. “You’re a very special man, Matt O’Malley.” She leaned forward and kissed him, then pulled back and looked deep into his eyes. “A
very
special man.”

Matt’s spirits soared at her compliment.

“Let’s go home,” she said in a way that had Matt wanting that more than anything.

“All set?” he asked, his voice husky.

“Just a moment.” Beth put her hand over his as he reached for the ignition. “I want to have one last look before we leave.”

B
ETH GAZED BACK
at where Matt planned to build his home. When she’d arrived here an hour ago, she’d been captivated by its beauty. Knowing this was where he wanted to raise his family, she felt a sense of yearning and sorrow.

She’d love more than anything to be Matt’s wife, but knew that could never be. In spite of his declaration that he’d protect her, she and Sarah would never be safe as long as Hennessey and Morgan were free. And in spite of what he thought, neither would Matt. As soon as she was well enough, she had to leave Spruce Lake, to protect them all.

When Matt returned to the living room after getting Sarah settled in her room, Beth was sitting cross-legged on the sofa, drawing on an art tablet. She covered her drawing when he leaned over to take a look.

“Uh-uh. No peeking,” she said. “Go fix us a snack and by the time you get back, I might have some sketches worth looking at.”

He fixed mugs of hot chocolate and grilled cheese sandwiches, then took them to the living room, set them on the coffee table and stood watching Beth as she worked.

Her silky blond hair fell forward as she bent over the sketch pad, intent on her task. He longed to reach out and tangle his fingers in the golden tresses but tried to ignore that desire. Instead, he watched, fascinated, as her hands flew over the page, sketching, shading, scribbling, oblivious to his presence. Finally he cleared his throat.

Beth glanced up and patted the sofa beside her. “Come see what I’ve done so far.”

He handed her the hot chocolate and sat down beside her. “Mmm, that’s perfect,” she said after taking a sip, then gave him one of her radiant smiles.

Encouraged, Matt moved closer and looked down at the sketch pad.

The handsome residence was everything he’d ever
wanted in a home and a whole lot more. When Beth had gone through the imaginary rooms back at his land and made vague motions describing how the exterior should look, he’d done his best to understand the concepts she was outlining. But here was the salient proof of her vision.

He shook his head in wonder. “It’s perfect. Absolutely perfect.”

“They’re only rough sketches,” she pointed out.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m impressed by your talent. You’ve captured everything I wanted in my home, but you’ve made it…so much more.” He indicated parts of the sketch. “It’s got that cozy mountain-home look to it—like it’s somewhere you’d always feel welcome, always find shelter. But then you’ve added these architectural elements….” He shrugged. “They’ve lifted it above the ordinary and given it an individual flair, a personality. It’s remarkable.”

“Then I assume I have a happy client?”

He clasped her chin and brought her mouth to his, kissing her gently. Sensing her hesitation, he drew away. Something was bothering her, but he didn’t want to confront it right now. Didn’t want to spoil the mood.

“I’m glad you like it,” she said and turned the page. “Now, how about we haggle over the floor plans?”

During the short time he’d been in the kitchen, she’d sketched the outline of floor plans, too. Beth took a bite of the sandwich, murmured her appreciation, then picked up her pencil and started sketching in more detail. “This is very rough, you understand. I’d need to run a tape over the areas you’ve got marked out, but I think it’s reasonably accurate.”

“It’s perfect,” he said again. “Thank you.”

B
ETH EXPERIENCED
a tingling sensation at Matt’s closeness and yearned for more. The here and now was what
she would make the most of—taking every moment with Matt and making it special—because soon she’d have to leave. To keep them all safe.

“I’ll do concept drawings of each room so you and your contractors have a clear understanding of what the finished product should look like. And I’ll do detailed drawings of certain architectural elements.” She studied Matt. His mouth was mere inches from her eyes. She admired the texture of his lips and ached to have him kiss her again.

She’d been startled by the kiss last night. Until then she hadn’t realized that Matt was attracted to her. And then out of left field had come that sudden admission that he was falling in love with her. She’d been churlish not to respond in kind, but Beth didn’t know what to say.

To take his declaration seriously, to get involved with Matt, filled her with a longing that reached deep inside her. But Beth couldn’t risk exploring it. She and Sarah would have to go. The net Hennessey had cast was closing around her. Leaving Matt would tear her apart. “Sweetheart?”

“Mmm?” Beth blinked back her tears.

“A penny for them,” he said, his voice so warm and tender.

She placed her hands on either side of his strong jaw and drew his face toward hers. If only she could find a solution that would really keep her and Sarah safe. She closed her eyes. When she opened them again, Matt was smiling. “Kiss me,” he said.

Beth complied, putting everything she felt for him into it—her passion, her gratitude, her unspoken love. She pressed her lips to his. Once, twice, three times. Then she slipped the tip of her tongue between his lips.

M
ATT COULD STAND
the teasing no longer. To hell with control and being noble. He lifted her onto his lap so she straddled him, his hands cupping her bottom.

“I want to make love to you,” he murmured against her mouth, then nipped gently at her bottom lip. “I want it so badly.”

“Me, too,” she admitted, surprising him with her response.

“But I know it’s too soon. When do you think we can?”

A loud cry from the nursery had them both instantly alert.

“Great timing,” he muttered and went to get up, but Beth pressed a hand to his chest and climbed off his lap. “No. I’ll go.”

Matt watched her leave the room. Everything tingled, including his calluses. He needed to take another trip to the woodpile. Although it was in danger of getting so big it would soon be higher than the cabin, he stood and staggered outside.

W
HEN
M
ATT CAME BACK
inside a half hour later, he washed up at the sink, dried his hands and started to apply Lucy’s salve. The ointment was working wonders, but he wished he could give splitting wood a rest.

Beth appeared in the kitchen. “Sarah’s down for a few hours,” she said, then took the tube from him. “Let me do that. It’s about time I looked after you for a change.” She smoothed the salve over his palms and reached into a drawer for two bandages. She began to wrap his hands. “Maybe these will remind you that you shouldn’t be splitting any more wood,” she said and smiled mischievously up at him.

“Should I fix us something to eat?” he suggested,
needing to do something with his hands other than pulling Beth into his arms. He’d gone way too far on the sofa. Until Beth was recovered enough to make love, he needed to slow down.

“We just had grilled cheese sandwiches a little while ago!”

“I’m hungry already. I defrosted steaks this morning. Can’t let them go to waste.”

“I make a mean mushroom sauce,” Beth said.

Matt took her hand as she turned away. He dropped a kiss on her palm. “You didn’t answer my question earlier,” he reminded her. “When can we make love?”

She swallowed at the intimacy of his words. “Four or five weeks,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

Matt hauled her into his arms. She looked so vulnerable, so disappointed. He kissed the end of her nose. “Don’t be. The waiting will make it all the more worthwhile.”

B
ETH’S LEGS NEARLY
buckled under her at the sexual tension in his words, in the room. If only they
had
a few weeks…

Matt prepared the griddle and laid two big steaks on it, then bent to kiss the delicate skin beneath her ear. “You’re quiet,” he said. “What’s up?”

Unable to look at him, she dumped the sliced mushrooms into a pan with melted butter and stirred.

Matt took the spoon out of her hand, put it on the counter and turned toward her. “Something’s troubling you. What is it?”

Beth shrugged. There was no way she was going to con front the fact that she was leaving as soon as she could get away from the cabin. From Matt.

Unfortunately, he mistook her shrug and said, “I know we can’t make love yet. But in a few weeks, I’ll be able to
show you how I really feel. No holds barred.” He clasped her hips and tugged her toward him. “I just wanted to warn you about that.”

Beth was afraid to wonder what exactly Matt could mean by “no holds barred.” If only she could be here in a few weeks’ time to find out. She placed a hand on his chest and managed to say, “I can’t wait.” Guilt overwhelmed her. How many more lies would she tell him?

She returned to the pan that had been forgotten on the stove, picked up the spoon and scraped the bottom. Then she crumbled a stock cube, stirred it through and added cream.

“That smells delicious,” he said.

“As soon as you get the salad made we can eat,” she murmured, trying to distract him from talking about their future. “The steaks look about done.”

She turned off the burner and put a lid on the pan to keep the mushroom sauce warm, and set the table. Matt lit some candles, then pulled out her chair. She touched her juice glass to his bottle of beer. “What will we toast?”

“Everlasting happiness? Love? A fantastic sex life?”

Beth giggled. “Stop that!”

“What can I say? You bring out the playful side in me.”

“Don’t you get tired of having to be responsible all the time?”

“No. Never. It’s always come easily to me. It’s not something I consciously do or think about. Why do you ask?”

“I thought you’d welcome a break from it occasionally. Yet here you are, taking time off, being responsible for Sarah and me.”

He covered her hand. “What I welcome is the responsibility. I love you both, so it’s not a chore.”

W
HEN THEY FINISHED
their salads, Matt got up to serve the steak. He set Beth’s plate on the table in front of her, together with the jug of sauce. Her eyes widened. “I can’t eat all that!” She carved off a tiny section of the steak, then forked the rest onto his plate.

“You’ll have to cultivate a heartier appetite than that if you’re going to fit in at the ranch,” he said. “We raise beef cattle. Mighty fine ones.”

Beth forced herself to laugh. There he was again, talking about their future together as though it was a dead certainty. She said, “I love steak as much as the next person, but I don’t have the stomach for so much food.”

“Well, I do.” Matt poured the mushroom sauce over his generous serving, then cut into it, sighing around the first mouthful. “The mushroom sauce is fantastic.”

“Thank you. I’m not much of a cook, so over the years, I’ve perfected a number of sauces to disguise the taste of anything I’ve messed up.”

Matt swallowed his mouthful and grinned. “Becky’s not much of a cook, either. However, she hasn’t perfected anything to cover the fact. Will does all the cooking in their house.”

“Smart woman for marrying him.”

Matt took a mouthful of beer, then put his bottle back on the table, twirling it between his fingers. “Not without a lot of persuading on his part.”

Beth smiled. Talking about Matt’s family helped alleviate some of the tension she was feeling. “I like people who don’t give up.”

“Will’s very determined when he wants something. He was the bane of my existence until Becky took over as his keeper. We’re complete opposites, yet look the most alike.”

“What happened to Luke’s wife?”

“Tory ran out on him just after Celeste was born. She specialized in tying Luke up in knots by running away from home on a whim. The last time was with a rodeo champion.”

“Oh, my! Poor Luke and his little girls.”

Matt grimaced. “She wasn’t mentally stable. Luke suffered terribly during their marriage, but he tried to make it work.”

“I’m sorry….”

“Then there’s Jack. He was studying for the priesthood, but he left the seminary and came back to town a couple of years ago.”

“Why did he leave?”

“Don’t know. He’s never opened up about it and none of us will push him. He’s making a good living as a contractor and master carpenter. He’ll be building my house.”

He stretched out his legs and said, “Adam’s the youngest. He’s a firefighter in Boulder.”

“Why not here?”

“He doesn’t like small-town life. Though I’m not sure Boulder really qualifies as the big city. You’ll get to meet him one of these days.”

Since Beth wouldn’t be anywhere in the vicinity of Spruce Lake for much longer, that was unlikely. She tried to comfort herself with the thought that once she left town, Matt could get on with his life and forget about her. He was ready to think about remarrying. Beth assumed there’d been no shortage of women in his life after Sally’s death.

“Have you dated many women since your wife passed away?” she asked.

Matt looked at her, obviously bewildered. “No. I haven’t been interested in dating anyone.”

His blunt admission had her wondering. How could any woman possibly live up to his memories of Sally?
Beth figured she must be some sort of masochist when she couldn’t stop herself from asking, “Why not?”

Matt got up from the table and took their empty plates to the sink. He turned back to her and leaned against the counter, bracing his hands on either side of him. His knuckles were white.

“I’ve found relationships very difficult since Sally died. I’ve been consumed by guilt, knowing that had I not been so diligent about my job, I might’ve been able to save Sally and the baby. Every time I thought of them, my gut burned with guilt. But being with you and Sarah…has made me confront my past and realize I can finally move on.”

He took a deep breath and said, “These past few years…I’ve felt unworthy of being loved, even by my family.”

His pain was palpable. Beth’s heart squeezed into a tiny knot of self-loathing. It had taken Matt so long to allow himself to love again and now she was going to hurt him by leaving. “I’m sorry you felt this way,” she whispered.

He reached out to clasp her hand, drawing her to him. Beth stood and put her arms around him and held him close. “You’re a good man, Matt. You deserve every happiness in life.”

“Thank you,” he said, and turned to fill the sink with water.

Unable to bear the pain in those two simple words, Beth wrapped her arms around him from behind and rested her head against his back, breathing in his warmth, his strength.

“I’ve always been called solid, dependable, sensible. I’ve never been the life of the party and I’ve hardly ever done an impulsive thing in my life. In a nutshell, I’m boring,” he said, astounding her.

“What?”
She turned him to face her. “I don’t think you’re the least bit boring. The fact that you came searching
for me was very impulsive. And heroic. You’re solid, dependable and sensible, and there isn’t anything wrong with that.” She cradled his face in her hands and forced him to look into her eyes. “There’s nothing I’d want to change about you. Those are qualities to be cherished in a man. And I cherish them very dearly. Matt?”