Authors: Donald Hamilton
I brushed off a purveyor of dirty pictures and shills for a couple of dirty movie houses. I side-stepped half a dozen taxi drivers ready to take me anywhere, but preferably to the house of a lady named Maria who had lots of girls, it seemed, one of whom, at least, was the girl I’d been looking for since birth. If I didn’t like girls, there were interesting alternatives. I was surprised to learn how many.
But the Matthew L. Helm who’d gone to the trouble and expense of hiring a detective agency to find his missing wife would, I figured, be keeping himself pure for the encounter. I stopped at a bar and had a Margarita cocktail, which is an iced, shaken and strained concoction of tequila, Cointreau and lime juice, served in a glass with a salted rim. You still get a cactus taste from the tequila, which some people can’t stand, but I’ve lived in the southwest long enough, off and on, not to mind a little cactus.
I asked the bartender about places to eat. He said La Cucaracha and La Fiesta nightclubs both served excellent food, with good floor shows, too, but it was too early to go there yet. Nine o’clock—eight o’clock Texas time— was about when the first show came on.
“What about the other places?” I asked. “The ones with real entertainment.”
He looked at me reproachfully. “I thought you were asking about food, señor.”
I said, “Somebody was telling me about a place called the Club Chihuahua.”
“There is such a place,” he said. “But you will get no food there. Only liquor and girls. Very bad liquor.”
“What about the girls?”
He shrugged. “I will tell you, mister. My advice, if you want real entertainment—” He glanced around guiltily. “—My advice is, you go to a cat house, if you know what I mean. There, at least, you get real drinks for your money, and you can go to bed with the girls. These other places, they are a big waste of time. They get you all excited, and then what do you do? You still have to find a girl to do it with.”
I finally got out of him the fact that the place in which I was interested was up the street from La Fiesta night club, just a block off the street I was on. I walked over that way. With the exception of the nightclub itself, which had a gaudy and impressive front, it was a street of cheap dives, with small knots of shabby, idly talking men blocking the narrow sidewalk here and there. I took a look at the outside of the Club Chihuahua, as dingy as the rest, and got out of there before I succumbed to the temptation of accidentally bumping into a worthy Juarez citizen—hard enough to send him sprawling.
On my way back to the bridge, I stopped to buy my quota of duty-free liquor, one gallon, which I took half in tequila and half in gin. They sell good rum, too, but it’s a taste I never acquired. The border whiskey isn’t fit to drink. With my armload of bottles, I crossed the river again—it costs one cent going north—and told the man at immigration that I was a U.S. citizen, showed my liquid loot to customs and paid tax on it to the state of Texas, although why Texas should have the right to tax the private liquor of residents of other states has always been a mystery to me.
I came out of the building fairly certain that my activities were a matter of interest to no one—which was what I’d started out to determine in the first place. When I got back to my hotel room, the phone was ringing.
I closed the door, parked my load and went over to pick up the jangling instrument
“Mr. Helm?” a hearty male voice asked. “This is Pat LeBaron, of Private Investigations, Incorporated. I just wanted to welcome you to our city and make sure you got our last report all right.”
“Thank you, Mr. LeBaron,” I said. “The report was waiting for me when I arrived.”
“You’re lucky to have made El Paso today,” he said.
“It looks as if they’re in for some weather up in New Mexico and Colorado. We may even get a taste of it here.” He paused. “I saw a dove flying south,” he said.
“It will return north soon enough,” I said, completing the password I’d been given by Mac. That kind of silly, secret-agent stuff always makes me feel self-conscious, and apparently it affected LeBaron the same way, because he was silent for a moment.
Then he said quickly, “Yes, that’s very true, isn’t it, Mr. Helm? Spring always comes, if you’re around to see it. Is there anything we can do for you while you’re in town? I don’t want to sound as if I were trying to drum up business, but I thought you might be planning to visit a certain place in Juarez, maybe tonight, and... well, it’s not a town you want to wander about alone after dark, if you know what I mean. I feel kind of responsible for bringing you here—”
“How responsible?” I asked.
He laughed. “Well, I’ll tell you, we have a set fee for escort work, of course, by the day or hour, but you’ve been a good client. If you’ll just buy me a steak at La Fiesta, I’ll go up the street with you afterwards and make sure everything goes okay.”
“Well—” I made a show of hesitating.
LeBaron said, quickly and understanding, “Not that I don’t think you’re perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, haha, Mr. Helm, but I probably know Juarez a little better than you do. I’ll pick you up at eight.”
At eight on the dot, he called me on the house phone. I took the elevator down to the lobby. A short, sturdy, dark young man got off a sofa and came up to me. For all the width of his shoulders, he had a sleek, patent-leather gigolo look. He had dead-white skin and brown eyes. I’m a transplanted Scandinavian myself, and I have an instinctive mistrust of brown-eyed people, which I admit is perfectly ridiculous.
“Mr. Helm?” he said, holding out his hand. “I’m Pat LeBaron. I’m real pleased to meet you in person, after all the dealings we’ve had by mail and phone.”
I murmured something appropriate, took his hand and gave him the little-finger signal we have, the one that confirms recognition and, at the same time, tells the other guy who’s running the show. His eyes narrowed slightly at my immediate assertion of authority, but he gave me the proper response. We stood like that for a moment, taking stock.
No brotherly love flowed between us in that moment. It never does. It’s only in the movies that people in the business are partners unto death, linked by iron bonds of friendship and loyalty. In real life, even if your assigned assistant is someone you might like a lot, you damn well don’t let yourself. Why bother to get fond of a guy, when you may have to sacrifice him ruthlessly within the hour?
There seems to be a theory among modern business organizations that a man has got to love all his fellow workers in order to cooperate with them. Mac, thank God, has never made this mistake of confusing affection with efficiency. He knows he’d never get a bunch of happy, friendly guys to do the kind of work that we’re doing, the way it’s got to be done.
He pointed out to me once, in this regard, that the Three Musketeers and their pal D’Artagnan were no doubt a swell bunch of fellows, and that the relationship between them was a beautiful thing, but that when you studied the record you came to the sad conclusion that Louis XIII would have got a lot more for his money, militarily speaking, by hiring four surly swordsmen who wouldn’t give each other the time of day.
So I didn’t worry when LeBaron and I didn’t take to each other on sight. He was a trained man, I was a trained man, and we had a job to do. I could always find some other guy to get drunk with, afterwards.
“The car’s out front,” he said, releasing my hand. “If you don’t mind, we’ll walk from the bridge. Things sometimes happen to American cars parked in Juarez at night. It’s bad enough leaving it on this side.”
“Whatever you say, Mr. LeBaron,” I said.
“Hell, call me Pat.”
“Pat and Matt,” I said, as we went outside. “It sounds like a comedy team.”
He laughed heartily. “Hey, that’s a good one, Mr. Helm... I mean, Matt. I’ll have to remember to tell my wife.”
He drove us to the bridge in a blue year-old Chevy sedan and parked it in a lot under one of the long sheds that keeps the sun in summertime from turning your car into an oven. Not that Juarez, or El Paso, either, is much of a place to go in summer. Last July, when I was in Juarez, the temperature was a hundred and twenty in the shade.
We both paid our two cents, crossed the bridge and walked through the carnival atmosphere of Avenida Juarez. The short block to the nightclub was darker, quieter and less reassuring. Going into La Fiesta, we were set upon by taxi drivers who wanted to take us elsewhere, now or later.
“Cab number five,” one man kept shouting. “Hey, mister! Cab number five!”
LeBaron nudged me lightly. I glanced surreptitiously towards the yelling driver, a dark individual with a strong Indian cast to his features. Then we were inside.
Even though I’d been there before, years ago, it was something of a shock, after the gaudy front of the building and the sidewalk hubbub, to be standing suddenly on thick carpeting in a place as hushed and elegant as a good Eastern or European restaurant.
“You saw Jesus?” LeBaron asked softly. He pronounced the name Haysoos, in the Spanish manner. “If we get in a jam, he’ll try to bail us out.”
“Good enough,” I said.
He started to say something else, but the headwaiter came up, bowed and showed us to a small table at the side of the room. LeBaron ordered bourbon whiskey, specifying the brand. I’m always tempted to switch bottles on a guy like that, to see if he can really tell the difference. I ordered a Martini and had another on top of it. No more Margaritas for Mr. Matthew Helm from California. He was no longer in an experimental mood. He was fortifying himself for the ordeal ahead with liberal portions of a known tipple.
As far as I could see, I could have ordered milk or prune juice, and it would have made no difference. Nobody around us showed the slightest interest.
“Is anybody watching this show, do you know?” I asked. “Or are we just performing to an empty theater?”
“We’re just doing it for fun,” LeBaron said, “unless I’ve goofed somewhere along the line. In which case we’re still just private dick and client.”
He had the tough and unreliable look, I thought, of a pool-hall character, and his clothes were flashy enough to point up the resemblance. Well, we can’t all look like G-men. He was supposed to be a private investigator, after all, and it’s not the most respectable profession in the world.
“How long have you been using this private-eye cover?” I asked.
“Three years,” he said. “My wife thinks the government check that comes through once a month is a disability pension from the Veterans’ Administration. That’s the way it’s marked. Well, it’s none of her damn business. She’s glad enough to get the money and spend it, too.”
“Sure.”
“Before that, I was in the insurance business in San Francisco. Same deal. Piddle along at a lousy little job until the phone rings and a voice tells you to drop everything... Well, you know how it is.”
I nodded, although I didn’t really know. I’d never had this kind of long-term standby duty. There had been a war on when I joined the organization, and they broke us in fast. The waiter came up. I ordered steak because that was the safe and conservative thing Mr. Helm from California would order tonight. LeBaron ordered steak, too, but he couldn’t just say medium rare, he had to make like a gourmet, describing the exact shade of pink he expected to greet his first exploratory incision with the knife.
Waiting for him to finish briefing the waiter, I watched a couple come in and sit near the dance floor. The woman was quite pretty, with soft light-brown hair done in one of those big, loose, haystack arrangements currently fashionable. Her gleaming light-blue cocktail dress was cut very simply and fitted very nicely indeed; the little fur jacket she casually shrugged back was of a pale golden color no animal had ever heard of when I was a kid, but they can get a mink to do the damndest things these days.
In contrast to her smart and attractive appearance, the man looked as if he’d dressed for roping cows—boots, stagged pants, checked gingham shirt, suede sports jacket. He was one of those tall, hipless Texas characters who always act as if they’d mislaid a horse somewhere— that is, until you get them out into the back country and show them a real pony with an honest-to-God saddle on it, and it turns out they were never closer to one than in the nearest jeep.
The two of them showed no more interest in us than did anyone else in the place, but something about the woman kept drawing my attention their way. When LeBaron had completed his gustatory arrangements, I gave him the signal, and after a while he turned around casually and looked. He turned back to me and gave the negative sign: he’d never seen her before. Well, that was all right for him, but I’d been something of a photographer once, for a good many years. Faces had been my business, and this one meant something to me, I wasn’t quite sure what.
“Not that I’d mind having a piece of it,” he said, seeing me still looking that way.
I brought my eyes back where they belonged. “Yeah,” I said. “Sure. Not bad at all.”
I mean, with a certain type of guy, you’ve got to pretend to be Ieching after every woman in sight or he’ll think you’re not normal. It turned out that my new assistant was one of those who, having once started, could discuss the subject indefinitely. I’d had a long day and several drinks, and I found it hard to keep from yawning. Not that sex itself bores me, you understand, but talking about it just seems like a pointless form of masturbation.
Presently the waiter shut him up by presenting us with our steaks. The orchestra began to play. It was a typical Mexican band, built around a single strident trumpet with power enough to knock you across the room. When Gabriel blows his horn, nobody in Mexico is going to pay any attention—they’ll think it’s only Pedro or Miguel practicing for the evening’s mariachi performance.
A sleek Latin-type male sang a song about his
corazón.
In case you’re not up on your Spanish, that’s his heart. A very blonde girl in a spangled black dress did some singing, too, as she danced around the floor with the mike, kicking the cord aside when it got in her way. A man in a dinner jacket came out and was funny with a xylophone.