Authors: Victoria Holt
Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Historical, #Suspense, #Gothic, #Romantic Suspense Novels, #Romance Fiction, #Historical Fiction
“You have to look straight at life,” she said, “to see it as it is, not as you would have it. That is the only way to pick oneself up and go on.”
So I kept my thoughts to myself. One day I would find some means of discovering. How? When? asked my common sense. But I refused to listen to reason. One day I would know the answer.
I did not know why I thought I might find it in that spot where his body had been discovered. He was now lying in the mausoleum with his ancestors. If he could come back and tell me, it would be more likely that I could get into communication with him in this spot.
It was like visiting a grave. I thought: If these trees could speak they could tell me the truth. I used to look up into their leafy heights. “How did it happen?” I whispered. “You must have seen.”
It was there that Charles came upon me.
“Hello, Lenore,” he said. “You come here often, don’t you?”
“Yes,” I answered.
“Why? Is it a sort of pilgrimage?”
I shook my head and turned away, uneasy as I always was in his presence.
He caught my arm. “Don’t go,” he said. “I want to talk to you.”
“Yes?”
“You must be feeling very lonely.”
“I have my daughter … my grandmother.”
“But missing Philip?”
“Of course.”
“I always envied him.”
“Envied him? Why?”
“I envied him you.”
”I think I should go in.”
“Not yet. Lenore, why are you so stubborn?” He pulled me towards him and held me firmly.
“I want to go back to the house,” I said.
“Not yet.” He smiled and kissed me. “Still a bit of a spitfire, eh?”
I struggled free. “Charles, I will not tolerate …”
“You must be lonely. I could change that.”
“I told you long ago. You know what happened then.”
His brow darkened. He was remembering Drake Aldringham, the magnificent friend whom he had been so proud to bring home and the manner in which Drake had left the house.
“You give yourself airs,” he said. “Who are you, anyway?”
“I am Lenore Sallonger, your brother’s widow.”
“You managed to catch him. He was easy prey, wasn’t he?”
“How dare you say such things!”
“Oh?” he said looking about him. “Do you think I’m afraid of ghosts? This is where they found him. Why did he do it, Lenore? What did he find out about you? Why? You must know if anyone does.”
I turned to go but he caught me again. “I have always had a fancy for you,” he said. “There’s something deep in you. I want to find it. I want to know what caught Philip and what made him take his life. I know it was because of you,”
“It was not. It was not,” I cried.
There was a struggle. He was pulling at my blouse. Suddenly my rage gave way to terror. He had a distorted mind. I knew what was in it. He wanted to make love to me here … where
Philip’s body had been found. There was something macabre about it; something which appealed to his warped notions. I fought wildly. He was stronger than I. I prayed to myself: Oh God, save me. Help me escape from this evil man.
“You’re not getting away now,” he said. “Why should you? You come to our house … you live in luxury… . You have to earn it, Madam Lenore. Don’t be a little fool. You and I were made for each other. We are two of a kind.”
My strength was failing. He had thrown me to the ground and was ready to leap upon me.
“Lenore!” The voice broke in on my terror like a sign from heaven.
It was Cassie. She had come to look for me. Oh God bless Cassie, I thought.
Charles stood back abashed, furious. I scrambled to my feet trying to adjust my torn clothes.
Cassie came into view.
“I guessed you’d be here. Why, Lenore … Charles …”
“Cassie,” I said, “thank God you came. I’m going back to the house now. Come with me.”
Together we walked back through the forest, Charles standing there, staring after us.
Cassie was horrified.
“He … he was attacking you?”
“Cassie, I shall never cease to be grateful to you for coming when you did.”
“I’m …so glad. It was horrible. Charles …”
”I think Charles has always hated me in a strange way. I can’t talk about it.”
We reached the house.
“I have to see Grand’mere right away,” I said. “You come with me.”
Grand’mere was in the workroom. When she saw me she gave a little cry of horror. I fell into her arms. I was near hysteria. I stammered: “It was Charles. Cassie came in time or I think he would have … He was vicious. It was at that spot … where
Philip was found. I think he found some satanic satisfaction because it was there.”
“He did this to you? He tore your clothes?”
I nodded.
“You must tell me all about it.”
“Cassie saved me,” I said.
“I went to look for Lenore,” said Cassie. “I know she goes there often. So I went and I saw …”
Grand’mere poured one of her concoctions into three glasses.
She said: “We have all had a great shock and what we have to do is think of what our next action will be.”
Cassie looked from one to the other of us.
”I cannot stay in this house,” I said. ”It is his house. I would never feel safe again.”
Grand’mere was nodding. “I have been thinking of this for some time,” she said. “I have always known that we could not stay. Katie is now a year old and we are ready. We must be ready now.”
I looked at her expectantly and I wanted to weep. She had always been there to solve my problems for me. Silently I thanked God for her as I had a short time before thanked Him for Cassie.
“You have your settlement,” went on Grand’mere, “the money Philip settled on you. It is a tidy sum and I have saved a little. Perhaps it is enough.”
“What is your plan, Grand’mere?”
”That we start our own establishment. We will have our dress salon. We will go to London and find the premises. We can work together. It is what I have always wanted … Independence. None could say I have not the experience.”
“Oh, Grand’mere,” I cried. “Could we?”
“We will, man amour. We will.”
Cassie was watching us intently. She said suddenly: “I want to come with you.”
“My dear child,” said Grand’mere, “it will be a venture. There are hazards.”
“I believe in it,” cried Cassie. “I have my little income. I can sew very well. You said so, Madame Cleremont. You won’t have to pay me. I just want to be part of it.”
“We shall have to see,” said Grand’mere.
Cassie stood up and ran to the dummies. She embraced Emmeline. “I am sure they know,” she said. “And they are very happy about it.”
We found that we could laugh. And I thought: It is what I want. I cannot stay here any longer than need be. I must get right away … soon.
Life which had gone on in the same pattern since the birth of Katie was filled with events.
In the first place we had to see the lawyers about the settlement and to our satisfaction learned that it would be quite in order for me to invest it in a business. That was the first step. Charles conveniently and characteristically left the very day of our encounter in the forest. I think he might have been ashamed. I was glad of it. I did not know how I could have confronted him; and the thought that I was living in his house was irksome.
First we had to find premises. We had decided that we would say nothing to Lady Sallonger until this was done, for we should certainly have opposition from that quarter.
Grand’mere and I went up to London leaving Cassie in charge of Katie. She was quite capable and was given instructions to get into touch with me at Cherry’s Hotel, where we were staying for two nights, if I should be needed.
We found the shop, just off Bond Street. It was smaller than we had visualized, but there was a sizeable room which would be suitable as a workroom, and a showroom. Moreover there was small but adequate living accommodation. The rent to us seemed exhorbitant, but after looking around we realized that we should have to pay highly for accommodation if we wanted it in fashionable London, which according to Grand’mere—and I agreed with her—was of vital importance.
So we had our premises. We bought some materials but Grand’mere had numerous remnants, left over from the bales which had always been regarded as her perquisites. She had been hoarding them for years with such a venture in mind. So we had some stock to start with.
We returned to The Silk House where Cassie was eagerly waiting to hear the result of our visit. Katie had behaved impeccably and there were no problems there. So we seemed set fair.
The next afternoon I decided to tell Lady Sallonger. Cassie was with me.
I said: “Lady Sallonger, I have some news. Grand’mere and I are going to set up in a shop.”
“What?” she screamed.
I explained.
“How ridiculous!” she snapped. “Ladies don’t set up in shops.”
“But I always fancied you doubted my claim to that title,” I said.
”You had better put such a notion out of your mind at once.”
“We already have our premises.”
She was really disturbed. It was somewhat gratifying to realize how very much she hated losing me. But, of course, there was nothing personal about that. It was only because of my usefulness.
Her first thought when she realized that we were in earnest was: “But what am I going to do?”
Grand’mere had had to give notice to the Sallongers since she would no longer be working for them. This caused a great deal of consternation. She received a letter from one of the directors asking her if she had really considered what this meant. They had taken her for granted for so long. The very fact that her home was at The Silk House had made them absolutely sure of her services. She had clearly been of great use to them; and they tried to persuade her to think again.
But we were determined. Charles had made it impossible for us to stay; and we both knew that this was what we wanted. There was so much to remind me of Philip in The Silk House and the best thing possible was for rne to make a clean break.
Exciting times followed. There was settling into the new quarters with the rather small living rooms and the big workroom and salon. Cassie had wept and pleaded with her mother, but Lady Sallonger was adamant. Cassie must stay. If Grand’mere and I were going to be so ungrateful as to walk out after all she had done for us, at least her own daughter should not be permitted to do so.
So we had to say goodbye to a woebegone Cassie and to promise her mat whenever she wanted to come to us she would be welcome.
Grand’mere was like a young woman. “This was always a dream of mine,” she said. “I never thought I should be able to realize it.”
Looking back I see how naive we were. Grand’mere had made dresses in the past which had sold in Court circles; but they had had the Sallonger label attached to them. It was different without that name. She had wanted to call the shop Lenore’s. “It is yours,” she said. “It is for your future.” But Lenore’s was not Sallonger’s.
We had the dresses but business was slow in coming.
We had one servant—a thin little Cockney girl called Maisie. She was eager and helpful and very fond of Katie; she was willing to work hard, but we needed more help.
I think that within six months we had begun to realize that we had taken on something which we were too inexperienced to handle. Grand’mere tried to be bright and optimistic but I could see she was worried.
One day she said to me: “Lenore, I think we ought to look into our finances.”
I knew what she meant and I agreed.
We faced each other seriously. We had spent a great deal of the capital; and we were paying out more than we were taking in. “Perhaps,” I said, “we are pricing our dresses too low.”
“If we priced higher, should we sell?” asked Grand’mere. “We have to face it. Here we are in a fashionable part of London but we are not getting the high class clientele who used to buy the dresses I made. Perhaps we should try something simpler. …”
I could see that we had rushed into this without enough thought. Grand’mere could make the dresses but we needed an assistant. I had to look after Katie with Maisie’s help. We had taken on more than we were able to manage. There were so many aspects which we had not considered and most devastating of all was the contemplation of our fast-dwindling capital.
“We can’t go on until everything has been frittered away,” said Grand’mere.
“What do you think we should do?”
“We will not go back to The Silk House.”
“Never,” I said vehemently.
“Perhaps I could ask Sallongers if I could work here for them as I used to at The Silk House.”
”In these expensive premises.”
“Perhaps we could find a little house somewhere … perhaps with a small workroom.”
It was depressing and grew more so until one day we had a visitor … I went forward hoping for a customer and to my amazement saw the Countess of Ballader.
She embraced me warmly.
“It is good to see you,” I said.
She waved her hands. “All this …” she said. “I saw the name Lenore’s … and I’d heard through Julia that you’d gone off to work on your own. So this is it, eh?”
“Do come in. Grand’mere will be pleased to see you.”
They greeted each other effusively and I asked what the Countess was doing now.
“I have a beauty this time,” she explained. “Daughter of a multi-millionaire. She has everything … face, figure … money … but alas no blue blood. It’s my job to see that she gets it. I have an earl in mind but actually I’m looking for a duke.”
She talked for a while and told us how weary she was of the social round and this profession of hers.
Then she looked at us sharply. “Not going well, is it?” she said.
Grand’mere and I exchanged glances. “No,” I told her. “It is not.”
“I’m not surprised,” she said.
“But the clothes … they are just the same … just as good …”
“It’s not the quality, my dear, that sells them. It’s the aura. That’s what you lack. You’ll never make good this way, you know.”
I think we must have looked as frightened as we felt for she went on: “Oh, cheer up. It’s not the end of the world. All you have to do is go about it in the right way.”