The Silver Thread (24 page)

“I know you’re thinking about her a lot lately,” she said to him, when she was sure Patti wouldn’t hear. “I can hear some of the things in your head, like how much you want her to stay.”

Talvi tilted his head and looked at her strangely.

“Of course I want her to stay. She’s hilarious,” he turned to the pile of cut lemons and started squeezing them into the pitcher, seeds and all. “Modern girls…I tell you.”

“What do you mean by ‘modern girls’?” she asked, not liking the way he said it.

“You don’t know how to make lemonade unless it comes in a packet of dry powder with a ten page instruction manual. Whatever happened to using your instincts?” he said. His tone had Annika guessing if he was just being dry and sarcastic, or if he was actually insulting her. She watched him combine the lemons with water and sugar and stir it with a wooden spoon, then pour himself a glass.

“And
that’s
how it’s done,” he said with a satisfied smile after he took a long drink.

“It’s not exactly rocket science,” she said, pouring herself a glass. But when she tasted it, it was way too tart for her liking. She set her glass down and with both hands she lifted the huge bag of sugar to the pitcher, but he took it away from her.

“Don’t do that,” he said, sounding more than a little bossy.

“Why not?”

“I prefer it the way it is.”

“But it’s too sour,” she insisted.

“You can always add more sugar to your glass, but you can’t undo it once you’ve put it in the pitcher.”

“You sure
act
like you want to put it in the pitcher,” she snarled.

“I’ll be damned if we’re still speaking about lemonade,” he growled as he set his glass on the counter, but he was still holding the very large bag of sugar in his other hand.

“Oh don’t act so self-righteous!” hissed Annika so only he heard her. “You’re so predictable, Mister Six Hundred, give or take a dozen. I know what ‘big favor’ you have in mind for her.”

“Such as playing doctor with her?” he taunted in a low voice. She didn’t deny the accusation. Talvi’s eyes flashed in outrage for a moment, and combined with the tone of his voice, Annika felt a bit scared of what monster she might have provoked. His grip on the bag of sugar tightened with a crushing force, and Annika took a step back as he took a step closer. His lips twisted into a cruel grin.

“You’re unbelievable, that’s what you are,” he said through clenched teeth. “Why, you’re so sour, I do believe it’s
you
that needs a little sweetening up.” With that, he turned the entire ten pound bag upside down over her head, spilling sugar into her damp sweaty hair, into her bra, down her shirt onto her sweaty back, and into the rear of her pants and all over the kitchen floor before dropping it at her feet and sauntering back to the other room with his glass of lemonade as though nothing had happened.

At first, Annika thought the smoke she saw was coming out of her ears, but it was coming from the living room, where she could hear Patti and Chivanni coughing.

“How long has it been since you guys have used the fireplace?” she heard Patti gasp.

“Patti, do you even know what you’re doing? No—wait!” she heard Talvi call out. There was a sudden
whoosh
and a black cloud of soot came billowing through the door. Chivanni looked like a giant moth as he buzzed out from beyond the dark cloud and headed straight for the kitchen sink. If Annika thought she was angry before, now was speechless. She couldn’t even move; she was so appalled at the situation she found herself in. She was just about to throw a two-year-old style temper tantrum, but someone else came home early from work and stole her thunder.

The kitchen door opened and in walked James, crunching sugar crystals under his patent leather Italian loafers as he entered the room. Annika felt her heart stop for a distinct moment as she looked into his eyes. Apparently his day at work had not been fruitful, because he looked royally pissed, and his mood was zooming downhill fast. His white knuckles curled around the strap of his crocodile man purse as he looked in horror at the empty bag by Annika’s feet, and then at the bottom of his shoe.

“Don’t tell me you spilled sugar all over the hardwood
fucking
floor,” he said in a scary voice to the alleged culprit standing in front of him, surrounded by and covered in evidence. “Do you know what an uptight
bitch
it is to clean?” If the throbbing vein in his temple was a fuse, James looked like a powder keg ready to explode. His eyes darted from Annika standing in the pile of sugar to Chivanni the soot-covered moth, and seeing the black cloud still billowing from the living room, he began to walk that direction.

“Um, James, I wouldn’t go in there if I were you,” Annika said as she bent down and tried in vain to shove sugar back into the paper bag. But it was too late. She braced herself, waiting for the shit to hit the fan. There was a pause, and then James came back into the kitchen, tracking soot and sawdust and sugar along with him on his shoes. There was another long, long pause. He glared at Chivanni. Then he glared at Annika. And then the shit hit the fan.

“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY MOTHER-FUCKING HOUSE?” James screamed at her. “I go away for three FUCKING hours and come home to
this
? Where are my fucking cigarettes?” There was another pause. “Oh my god, you have
got
to be shitting me! I just bought a pack last night!” Another pause. “ARRGGHH!” Suddenly standing in a small hill of grainy sugar on a hot sticky spring day didn’t seem so bad. Out of the corner of her eye, Annika watched Talvi creep with all the stealth of a ninja through the other entrance to the kitchen from around the hall, and then leap silently up the steps, disappearing into their bedroom.

James’s hands shook as he removed his glasses and sat quite stiffly in the chair at the table, setting his bag in the seat next to him. Talvi came bounding down the stairs and handed him a lit cigarette, and James snatched it away with no comment. Annika knew her friend had a temper, but she’d never seen him this angry before. He always had something to say; now he couldn’t even speak. He looked almost catatonic as he took several long and deep drags, and eventually his shaking hand grew steadier. Patti stepped meekly into the doorway, and Chivanni hid behind Annika, peeking over her shoulder.

“I’m so glad I went into work today,” James said in a calm, eerie voice. “Jack has an emergency dentist appointment on Thursday, the day I’ll need him the most. He fell at soccer practice Saturday morning and broke his crown, and that’s the only time he could get in. If that wasn’t shitty enough, it turns out that Jill is really sick. She fainted yesterday with a temperature of a hundred and three degrees. I’m not even sure if she’ll be better by this Friday, let alone sooner to help me hang the art and set up for the show. I sent out the invitations three weeks ago, I have the catering paid for, the advertising paid for, and the artwork that I’ve spent all this time, effort, and money promoting isn’t even here.” James took a couple more long drags, trembling a little less. “After all that good news, I thought I could at least come home and have a glass of wine, or a bottle for that matter, and a relaxing bubble bath. I wasn’t expecting to find it transformed into
this
. Between the sugar, soot, and sawdust, I don’t know which is going to be harder to clean, but I have to start on it right away, before we get soot everywhere…or ants…or roaches…or condemned. I don’t exactly have a building permit.” He had a strange, possessed look in his eye, and finished the cigarette, dropping the filter-less stub in the ashtray. He buried his head in his arms on the table and began to shake. Annika walked over to him, rubbing his back sympathetically.

“James, I promise everything will get cleaned up. And I’m sure everything will fall into place for your show on Friday. We’ll help you any way we can. Why don’t you go take that bubble bath and we’ll worry about the mess? I’ll bring you a glass of wine,” she said softly, but he only shook harder. Patti crept a little closer with her hand still curled around the fireplace poker, and a remorseful look on her face, but her guilty façade quickly transformed when she heard a loud snort come from James. He lifted his head and his mouth was gasping for air, while tears of laughter squeezed out of his eyes.

“Holy shit. Do you realize I work with
Jack
and
Jill
?” he burst out. Annika and Patti looked at each other, bewildered at the abrupt turn James’s mood had taken.

“Um, we already made all those jokes a long time ago. Why’s it so funny now?” Annika asked. James was trying to answer, but he was laughing so hard it took him a few minutes.

“Yeah, but Jack…Jack and Jill…” he gasped, “Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after!” He screamed, and leaned so far out of his chair that he fell onto the sugary floor, clutching his stomach in hysterical shrieks. “Jack really fell down! He broke his mother fucking crown! He broke his crown and Jill came tumbling…” James kept repeating hysterically, and the others looked at each other in confusion as he began to roll in the sugar, still laughing.

“What the hell just happened?” Annika asked, looking completely baffled. “Do you think he’s finally having a nervous breakdown?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never seen one happen before,” Patti said, just as unsure as her friend. “It’s like he was ghost-dosed with something. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was high, but he’s been in front of us the whole time.”

Annika whipped her head around to look at Talvi. “
Is
he high?” she demanded. “Did you bring along something else you forgot to unpack the other day?”

Talvi’s smile gave him away as he watched James start to lick at the sugar crystals on the floor.

“I might have brought along a bit of pixie dust,” he confessed.

“What’s pixie dust?” Patti asked. “What the heck does it do?”

“You’re looking at it,” Annika said, pointing to James. He was still squirming on the floor and giggling like a mad school boy. She had tried pixie dust before, but she didn’t get nearly the same results as she was seeing right now.

“I’m so sweet! I’m such a sweet boy,” he said, rubbing the sugar in his hair and pouring it down the inside of his shirt.

“I didn’t mean to use so much,” Talvi said, trying to look serious, “But I was in such a hurry. Anyhow, I much prefer him like this than his previous state.”

“How long is he going to be like this?” Annika asked.

“I don’t know,” Talvi said, stepping out of the way as James lunged at him with a fistful of sugar he had scraped off the floor. “Probably just a few hours.”

“A few
hours
?” Patti repeated in shock. “What are we going to do with him? There’s all those power tools lying around! He might hurt himself!”

“Oww!” Chivanni cried. James was gnawing on his sooty leg.

“You’re a sweet boy too!” he said maniacally. “You’re a little gingerbread man, aren’t you?” Chivanni jumped backwards, attempting escape, but James’s grip was so tight that he only succeeded in falling on the floor. James gathered another small handful of sugar and crawled over him, rubbing it in Chivanni’s hair and over his neck as the small framed redhead thrashed underneath him. “You tried to run as fast as you can, but I ended up catching you, gingerbread man!” He threw his head back in a diabolical laugh before burying his face in Chivanni’s neck. The real fairy gave a noise that began in a yelp and ended in giggles at being relentlessly nibbled.

“I don’t think he’s a danger to himself as much as he is to Chivanni,” Talvi snickered. He started to head into the living room, but there came a protest.

“Talvi, don’t leave! Get him off of me!” Chivanni giggled from underneath James. He was slowly being devoured by the obsessed man, covered in more ticklish nibbles that sent his wings fluttering, which sent soot and sugar swirling around the floor in a gritty grey mess. “I can’t make myself small!”

Talvi sighed as he reached down and tried half-heartedly to pull James off of Chivanni, but James put up quite a fight. Suddenly he gave a loud yelp, recoiling just long enough for Chivanni to scramble out from underneath him.

“He bit me!” James cried out, clutching his hand to his shoulder. “Oh my god, he fucking
bit
me!”

“I warned you about that,” Talvi reminded him, grasping him by the arms. “Everyone knows that fairies bite.”

“I’m electing you his keeper until this wears off,” Annika instructed her husband. “I’ve never seen him so bonkers.”

“
Me
? I really think this wingless fairy would rather have Chivanni keep an eye on him,” Talvi said with a laugh, but the fairy brushed past him and headed for the downstairs bathroom.

“I never would have given him so much dust, Talvi!” Chivanni scolded, still looking like a giant dark moth. “At least not for his first time. Besides, you’re the only one strong enough to control him while I take a bath.” He started to walk away.

“Oh, a fine time for that!” Talvi argued exasperatedly as James lurched forward unsuccessfully trying to escape. “Why the hell do you need to take one at this very moment?”

“Because I can’t do any proper magic if I’m all sticky with sugar,” he said, being a bit of a priss. “What good will the pixie dust have been, if, when he comes to his senses and sees this mess, he just goes mad again?” With that he passed through the door. James lunged after him again in one last attempt, but Talvi’s strong arms held him back.

“I want that gingerbread man!” James argued. “Bring him back! I wasn’t done with him yet. Let me go!”

“Stop being so belligerent or I’ll tie you up with all that rope we bought!” Talvi said, trying to reason with the madman in his hands. James turned around and looked up at him.

“I don’t see any rope in that tool belt of yours!” His brown eyes had never been so crazed. “What else do you have in there, pretty boy?”

“Annika, go get some rope from the other room,” Talvi ordered, trying to avoid James’s groping hands. But she just stood there, relishing the sight. “Be quick about it, would you?” She gave him a long, hard look. While she was relieved that her friend wasn’t going to give himself an aneurysm, she was still mad at Talvi for fawning all over Patti earlier.