The Skipper & the Billionaire Playboy (10 page)

The hostess thoughtfully offered to store her bags for her, so she left her purchases at the front before following another host back to her seat. Timothy and Hugo were already there, and she glanced at her watch apologetically. “I’m sorry, am I late?” Again, something niggled at the back of her mind, but she forced away all thoughts that weren’t pertinent to the situation at hand.

“Not at all,” said Timothy as he extended his hand to shake hers. “We just happened to arrive a little early, so we thought we’d have a drink. Hugo, this is Nadia, the woman I told you about. She’s going to be holding the Auld Mug someday, I guarantee it.”

Nadia flushed at the praise, her cheeks burning. “You’re too kind, Timothy.” She took Hugo’s hand when he extended it, shaking firmly. “I’m so happy to meet you, Mr. Blackwell. You’re practically a legend.”

He grinned, and the lines in his cheeks became more pronounced. He was probably in his mid-fifties, with the leathered skin of an experienced sailor, coupled with blond hair bleached nearly white from sunlight. He was clearly a man who enjoyed the outdoors, and was probably found on his boat more often than not. “You’re quite flattering, Nadia, but my legendary days are over. I’m a newlywed and a father now, so I’ve basically retired the boat aside from some pleasure cruising.”

“Oh. Congratulations.” She was unsurprised when his wallet flipped open, and he rummaged around for a picture. She took it politely, looking down at the smiling face of a woman not much older than her, holding a newborn baby. Suddenly, the thing that had been whispering at the back of her mind came to the forefront, and nausea churned in her stomach. She handed back the picture with a polite smile, even as she tried to choke down the urge to throw up. No, it couldn’t be.

“Are you all right,?” asked Timothy, concern lacing his tone.

She looked at him, realizing her hands were shaking. “I…” She had no words to give him, because she didn’t know what to say. Was she all right? No, not if her suspicions were correct. She was pretty far from all right. “I…excuse me. I’m sorry to cut short our meeting, and please don’t think I’m not interested in getting better acquainted with you, Mr. Blackwell, but I’m suddenly feeling quite ill.”

Nadia didn’t wait for an answer from either man as she pushed away from the table and hurried from the restaurant. She ignored the hostess calling her back for her bags, still trying to keep down the urge to retch.

The drugstore caught her attention on the way, and she stopped in briefly to make a single purchase before hailing a taxi. It would be expensive, but she wasn’t going to call the Sinclair driver to come pick her up, not with having to wait all that extra time before finding the answer to the looming question that was suddenly the most important thing in her life.

It seemed to take forever to reach the Sinclair household, and she was tempted more than once to ask the taxi driver to pull over at the nearest restroom. Only the knowledge of how she might potentially fall apart when she had her answer kept her from doing such a thing. She needed to be alone when she discovered the result.

At the home, she suspected she’d over-tipped, judging by the cabby’s pleased grin, but she didn’t really care. All she wanted to do was get inside the house, hide herself in her room—no, Sawyer’s room, and she would have to request a new one for the next few days before arranging her departure—and tear open the package burning a hole in her purse.

Fortunately, none of the family was there to intercept her as she entered the house and made her way upstairs. It was too early for Sawyer to be home, and the others were busy doing their own things. She would have missed dinner with them already, and the last thing she felt like doing was eating as she entered the bathroom.

Her hands trembled when she opened her purse and extracted the box, tearing at the plastic impatiently. She was thankful she had chosen acrylic nails during a visit to the salon last week with Kiersten and Caitlin, because sharp talons provided better purchase to break through the slick wrapper.

Next, the box refused to yield easily, so she ripped hurriedly through the cardboard, soon holding the white packet in her hands. With a curse, wondering why they felt the need to package the damn things so securely, she ripped open that foil and finally held the slender stick in her hands.

When she sat down, it took a surprising amount of time to actually be able to pee, though she was anxious for the answer. It was as though her bladder was rebelling, as if every facet in her life was trying to torture her and draw out the answer.

Finally, urine flowed, and she finish the test. After putting on the cap and setting the stick on the remains of the ripped box, she washed her hands and prepared to wait. Abruptly, the door to the bathroom opened, and she gasped at the sight of Sawyer standing in the doorway. Their eyes met in the mirror, and he seemed as surprised as she was. “I didn’t expect you back yet,” she said inanely.

“There didn’t seem any point in avoiding you now,” he said bluntly. “I’m actually surprised to find you and your things still in my room. I had expected you to move to a guestroom by now.”

She absorbed the hurtful words, trying to shield the test with her body. She wasn’t ready to share any kind of news with him, and if it was negative, there would be no reason to ever tell him about the potential scare.

Unfortunately, he came closer, and there was a hint of doubt in his eyes for just a second. “Nadia, I…” He trailed off, his gaze dropping to the test on the counter. All hesitation fled, and his lips tightened. “No way. You can’t be.”

She shrugged helplessly, unsure how to reply to his petulant words. “I don’t know.”

“Is it mine?”

Angry, Nadia turned to face him, accidentally displacing the test in the process and sending it flying across the floor. Though she wanted more than anything to know if it was positive or negative, she was too caught up in her anger at Sawyer to bother chasing it down for a moment. “Of course it would be yours. I’m not the slut in this relationship.”

He flinched, but didn’t dispute her words. “How could it have happened? We’ve always used protection.”

She shrugged, searching her mind. “I’m not sure…” She trailed off, suddenly a memory coming to her. “That night at the party, when you had your temper tantrum because I was talking to Timothy. We weren’t careful that night. We were too caught up in the moment.”

He swore softly, shaking his head. He looked physically ill. “You’re having an abortion.”

Sawyer spoke with such conviction that she reared away from him, barely resisting the urge to slap him. “It’s my body, and I’ll decide what I do with it. You can’t just tell me I’m having an abortion.”

“You don’t understand. It can’t be born.” He shook his head, a strange mix of fear and anger on his face. “You have to terminate.”

“I don’t have to do anything, Sawyer. I’m going to make the decision for myself and my baby. I think it’s obvious you don’t want anything to do with us, so you don’t have to worry about a thing. I don’t want money, I don’t want your name on the birth certificate, and I sure don’t want you to be involved in his or her life. I just want you to get out.”

His face turned white, and his lips thinned, but he turned on his heel and strode from the room. It was only a moment later, as she sagged against the counter, that she realized she had just kicked him out of his own room. She stifled the urge to laugh, sensing there was a hysterical note underneath it, before going to retrieve the pregnancy test that held all the answers, or at least the answer to the most important question looming before her. Was she about to be a mother, and if so, was she ready for that?

Nadia was in the middle of packing her suitcase when there was a tap at the door just before it opened. Sawyer wouldn’t have knocked before entering his own room, so she was wasn’t surprised to see Kiersten standing in the doorway. She didn’t respond or make a greeting to the other woman as she continued putting her things methodically in her luggage.

Initially, she had planned to abandon the garments, not wanting anything else to do with Sawyer, but had realized that was stupid. The clothes were worth a lot of money, and even if she didn’t love them—which she did—it would be silly to waste an entire wardrobe, especially since her finances were ambiguous at the moment. She had no idea if or when she would ever see the other part of the money Sawyer owed her for their agreement. After all, it had evolved from a business arrangement to one of pleasure to a stinking hot mess.

“Sawyer went blazing out of here in anger a little while ago,” said Kiersten as she stepped inside the room. She took only a few hesitant steps forward, as though she expected Nadia to demand she leave.

Nadia shrugged, moving to the next drawer full of ridiculously frilly underthings. She wouldn’t be wearing those again for a while, if ever. She certainly couldn’t imagine wearing them for another man. After this debacle, she was finished with men. “Uh huh.”

Kiersten took another hesitant step forward. “Would you like to talk about it?”

Nadia shook her head jerkily. She was furiously angry with Sawyer at the moment, but she didn’t want to come between him and his family. They didn’t need to know what a gigantic ass he was, even if they suspected it. “There’s nothing to talk about,” she said brusquely past the lump in her throat.

“I was afraid he’d mess it up. He finds something real, and he messes it up.” Kiersten shook her head sadly. “He has this idea that the only way he’ll be happy is to live every moment of every day doing something new and exciting that he’s never explored before. In a way, I guess he’s trying to make up for Dad’s lack of living, but he’s got it all messed up in his head. If only he would…” she trailed off.

Nadia looked up, intrigued by her tone as much as by what the other woman had left unspoken. “If he would what?” Grow up? Take some responsibility? She left the questions unasked, not wanting to hurt his sister.

Kiersten sighed heavily. “It’s not really my place to tell you, but he does have his reasons.”

She snorted. “His reasons. Everybody makes excuses for Sawyer. Sawyer has
his reasons
for behaving so irresponsibly. Sawyer has
his reasons
for sleeping his way through every woman in a thousand-mile radius. Yeah, Sawyer has
his reasons
, but they never come to light. I’m not going to wait around on Sawyer’s
reasons
.”

Kiersten held up a hand. “Please, Nadia, I really don’t want to violate his confidence, but I’m begging you to stay. Give him just a couple of hours to cool down. Maybe a day or two even. He’ll be back, and maybe he’ll explain it all then. I don’t know what happened between you two, but I know he loves you.”

Nadia shook her head. “You’re fooling yourself if you believe that. He’s already moved on to Paige, or perhaps someone new after her.”

Kiersten’s eyes narrowed. “He cheated on you?”

Nadia almost nodded firmly, but then hesitated. In the end, she settled for a shrug. “I don’t really know, but he strongly suggested it was coming, if it hadn’t already occurred. All I know is he’s done with me. He’s bored and ready to move on.” Worst of all, he wanted her to dispose of her pregnancy as if it meant nothing, as if it warranted no thought or consideration at all. She didn’t mention that either, having no desire to share her news with his family, at least not yet. She’d barely started to accept it herself so far.

“I just can’t imagine that. You might think I’m being silly or naïve, but I can tell he loves you. He looks at you the way he’s never looked at anyone else in the world before, Nadia. Please, just stay a little while longer. It might not lead to anything, but wouldn’t you feel better if everything worked out?”

Nadia wanted to keep fighting, but it would require revealing certain information she didn’t want to share. She couldn’t ask Kiersten how she was supposed to forgive his demand that she terminate their child, and how she was supposed to get over how little regard he held for her or the life of the baby they had created. He hadn’t even been willing to entertain a discussion on what they should do, or how they should handle the consequences of their own irresponsibility.

How could she get past that? He would come back, but it wouldn’t be for her. Still, it would be easier to stay for a day or two until she had worked out firmer plans and reconnected with Timothy Wynndt and Hugo Blackwell. Obviously, her dream would be on hold again for a while, but perhaps they would have the contacts that would help her find a new job working in the racing world. It wasn’t the dream she wanted, but it was a compromise between that and returning to duty as someone’s skipper

Giving in with a sigh, she said, “I’m going to need a different room.”

Kiersten looked relieved. “Of course. I’ll have one of the maids move your things to the room at the other end of the hall. It will give you plenty of space.” She left it unsaid, but the implication was there that it wasn’t just space to think, or create emotional distance. It was literal distance, far from Sawyer’s room. It sounded like the perfect solution.

She nodded, abandoning her packing in mid-bag. Exhaustion swept over her all of a sudden, and she wasn’t sure she could keep going any longer. It was a relief to leave the packing to the staff and follow Kiersten down the hall. Her new room wasn’t as spacious or as luxurious as Sawyer’s, but it was a welcome respite from the place that smelled like him and was full of memories of their brief relationship that had burned so brightly before crashing so hard.

Within minutes of Kiersten leaving her, Nadia had settled on the new bad, curled up on her side with the covers almost to her head. It was as close as she could get to cocooning herself from the world, and it was a comforting position.

Almost unconsciously, she kept her hand over her stomach, moving lower, to the edge of her abdomen where she assumed the fetus would be. She tried to open her senses, looking for some spark inside her that let her know there was another presence sharing her space.

She felt nothing, of course, but the exercise forced her mind to open to the possibilities. Until then, she had been debating the merits of an abortion. She wouldn’t have been so angry with Sawyer for making the suggestion if he had made it in such a way as though it weren’t a foregone conclusion, and the only obvious answer. She would have discussed the possibility, and she had strongly considered it for a brief second herself while she held the white plastic stick in her hand and stared down at the pink plus sign.

Bitter resentment had risen in her, directed at Sawyer, and at herself, for being so irresponsible, but a surprising amount had deflected to the tiny life inside her. Tears had gathered at her eyes, and Nadia had been angry—so angry that it dared to exist, another impediment on the path to pursuing her dream. She would never win the America’s Cup if she had a baby, especially as a single mother.

Now, lying in bed with her hand on her stomach, just inches away from where her child grew, Nadia accepted the inevitable. An abortion might make the most sense under the circumstances, but she couldn’t do it.

She’d always planned to be a mother someday, and without any other family in the world, it was too awful to bear thinking about eliminating the last person who would share her blood. Her own actions had gotten her into this mess—well, hers and Sawyer’s—and she couldn’t make the life growing inside her pay the price for her mistakes.

Somehow, she would make it work. It would take careful planning and probably more hard work than ever to balance the life of mother and sailor, but she could make it happen. Even if she never raced for the America’s Cup, she would have done something far more important, and that was give life to the baby inside her.

She was still in turmoil as she drifted off to sleep, but a cautious sense of hopefulness filled her as her eyes closed. It wasn’t what she had intended, and it was the worst timing ever, with the worst possible candidate for fatherhood, but she would make the best of it. In no time at all, Nadia suspected she would come to love her baby very much. Even more than she loved its father.

That thought made her eyes blink open briefly, and she wanted to deny it as hot tears scalded her cheeks. Unable to lie to herself, she accepted she still loved him. She was hurt by his actions, and wounded to the core, but her heart wasn’t able to turn off so quickly. It was going to be a rough adjustment from her old life to her new life, and she only hoped her heart would soon accept there was no place in it for a man like Sawyer Sinclair.